by Vera Quinn
“Laurie didn’t want to contact anyone this time. She said she needed her privacy. She knew before we went to the hospital what was happening, and it tore her apart. She called her mom and sister. She says she feels like less of a woman because she can’t even carry a child and she doesn’t want everyone’s pity. Then when they had to do the surgery she lost it. They’ve kept her asleep. I come to let you know I will be away for a while. Kelsey is there until I get back, but I can’t stay gone long, so right after the vote, I will be gone until she can adjust.” Driller is a private man, but I know this is killing him. Laurie is his life and they have wanted a child since they were first married.
“Brother, whatever you and Laurie need. Anything, anytime. You take your time. If there is anything you need to be brought up to date on, then I will let you know.” Here I am not wanting children with two on the way, and these two want children so badly.
“Thank you.” That’s all Driller can get out. He sits back and drinks his drink. I look at Hammer.
“I am here to ask if you think someone else can be voted in as treasurer. I am thinking maybe Tazer would be good at it. He’s good with numbers and he already knows our system from helping me. I still want to be a member, but I want to step back and have some more time off. I’m not a spring chicken anymore, and I think it is time some young blood has a chance.” Then his eyes hit the floor. “I’m not as quick minded anymore. I think it best if someone else keep an eye on the club’s money.” I look at him and I see he is embarrassed about saying this. He has to be getting close to sixty. He has done his service to the club. He came to us late in his life, but he has always been a damn good brother. I know he is doing what he thinks is right or he wouldn’t do it.
“Okay brother, if that is what you want. No one is complaining though. The job is yours as long as you want it.” He smiles at me and I know he is tired. I wonder if I will have the courage to do what he just did when I am too tired to do my job. He gets up and shakes both mine and Driller’s hands and leaves. The weight of the world has probably been lifted off his shoulders.
Then I look at Driller and he has tears running down his face. I am looking at a broken man. “Man, is there something I can do?” He’s sitting there with his head in his hands. I walk around and sit in the chair beside him, then reach over and put my hand on his back. I have never been in his shoes, but I know what terrific parents they would be.
“I was so convinced this would be the time. She carried it longer than she did the others. I am just empty inside. I was trying to be strong for Laurie, but I am full of so much grief. I will never be a father and she will never be a mother. We just always thought it would happen in time and there is no chance now. I don’t know what else to say to Laurie to help her if I don’t understand it myself.” Driller is worse off than I thought.
“I don’t know what to say. I have never been in your position. All I can think of is to be there for her. Have patience. Love her and listen to her. Not just what she says, but pay attention to her actions. Get her some help with her grief, and remember you may need some, too. We are here for you. Whatever you need. We love you both, brother.” That’s all I know to say. Now I’ll just wait for him.
“Thank you, brother. I just needed to let that out. I couldn’t let Laurie see me that way. I know I have to share my grief with her, but she doesn’t need to see the raw version right now.” Driller will always protect Laurie from his inner demons.
“Are you ready for the vote?” I know Driller wants Blake in as bad as I do.
“Yes I am, but then I have to get back to the hospital.” Just like it should be.
“We’ll send flowers tomorrow, but you let us know when she is ready to see us. Don’t wait long, because we are not letting you two go through this alone.” I just want him to know we are here.
“Send a plant. She’ll like it better.” That we can do.
“You have it.” We get up and head to our vote. We barely make it to the bar when I hear yelling. That sounds like Sarah. What the hell is she doing at the club? Then I know. Her and Tazer are at it again.
“Your damn name is Tyler David Black. There is no Tazer on your birth certificate. Why would you rather have some club girl give you a head job than to be with me? You had no problem popping my cherry when I was sixteen, and now you won’t even answer my calls.” Sarah is fit to be tied. Why Tazer doesn’t just cut her loose is beyond me. I love the girl like she is my own, but she is a handful. I nod my head at Tazer and he knows to take it down a notch and handle her.
“Sarah, leave. I didn’t ask you here, and we aren’t together now, so who sucks my cock is none of your business. Next time knock. You don’t belong here anymore. Leave, you’re being a bitch!” Tazer is only making her worse.
“Do you mean that? You just called me a bitch. Do you really want me gone? I thought I meant something to you.” Sarah is on the verge of tears, but I can’t interfere.
“I’ve had you and I don’t want you anymore. You’re too high maintenance. I am with a club girl because I get mine, and then I don’t have to put up with their mouths or the shit they do. You’re still a little spoiled rich girl. I need a woman. Now leave. I don’t want to see you again. We are done for good.” Tazer is being cruel to her, but maybe he is doing it for her own good. Then right before our eyes Sarah changes. She stiffens her back and lifts her head and looks straight at Tazer.
“Okay. I get it. You will never have to worry about seeing me again. None of you will.” Then she looks at me. I’m sorry she is hurt, but until her and Tazer both grow up they need to stay away from each other. She walks out without another word. Killman goes over to Tazer and they put their heads together. I walk up behind them.
“Do you think she fell for it? Do you think she’ll go?” Killman is asking Tazer
“What’s going on? What’s Killman talking about?” Tazer looks pissed
“Sarah’s parents want her to go back to school. This time in New York. She told Felix she wouldn’t go because of me. I care about Sarah, and I can’t hold her back from her education, so I set it up so she would see me with Lita. That way she would be mad enough to go.” So Tazer was trying to do it for Sarah’s own good. Wrong method for a good reason. Sarah does need her education.
“That’s what that was all about? Are you sure you can deal with the consequences when it backfires on you?” My knucklehead son is trying to be nice in a bad way. Sarah’s not the only one that needs to grow up some. “Let’s get to church, we have a vote or two to take care of.”
Chapter 19
Chief
We took care of what had to be done. Blake is now a BlackPath MC member. He doesn’t have to prospect. He and Shield are now voted in enforcers to help ZMan with SAA duties. Tazer is taking over the treasurer position from Hammer. Hammer is happier now as just a member. He was too worried about letting us down. Blake apologized in front of all the officers. As soon as the voting was over, I headed for Oklahoma to a doctor’s appointment I don’t want to be at.
I walk into the office and Kat is sitting there with Kim. I don’t say a word to Kim, but I at least nod to Kat. Just as I am sitting down, Callie walks in with Kellan and Devil in tow. I take the baby from Devil and hold him close. He looks more like his dad every time I see him “Devil you couldn’t deny your son if you wanted to. He is you, made over.” Devil smiles big.
“Don’t I know it, but his temper is all his mom’s.” Yes, and he loves every minute of it. I need to talk to Devil for a minute, so I hand Kellan to Callie and kiss her forehead. I nod towards the door and Devil leads that way.
“I thought you were here for me. Not to talk to Kylar or see your daughter.” Kim is being her usual catty self.
“Don’t ever get my intentions wrong. I am here to see if it is a boy or a girl, but I am not certain it is mine. The only woman I know is pregnant with my child is Em. I am not here to see you.” It is meant to hurt her, but I did not expect her comeback.
“Well, you’re not running after her either, even if you are sure it’s your child. She’s gone back to where she came from and you’re not there.” What did she say? Em moved? No. I had things to take care of. I haven’t even checked on her. Wait. How does Kim know where she is if she’s not keeping tabs on her, and how does she know I haven’t been there? I don’t like this. Kat looks at her daughter and I know she realizes the same thing I do. I see Callie out of the side of my eye and now Callie knows, too.
“Kim, I don’t know what you’ve been up to, but I can tell you this, if you go near Em, I will finish you. Are we clear?” I am worried about Em now. I nod for Callie to go outside now.
Once we are all outside I make sure no one can hear us. “I was going to tell you Devil, but I realized Callie picked up on what was going on in there. Kim is still hooking up with Duke here in Oklahoma, and right over the Texas border. Apparently, Kim is keeping tabs on Em. I didn’t even know she was gone. I’ll have to find out where she is and send Shield and Tazer after her.” I take my phone out and send ZMan a text to find out where Em is.
“Who is Em and why did Kim say she is pregnant, too? Dad don’t you know to wrap it up?” Nothing like getting told to wear a condom by your daughter.
“Emily is Joy’s younger sister, and she is pregnant with your sister or brother. Apparently she has taken off somewhere and it disturbs me Kim knows that and I didn’t. I was really shitty to her when she told me she was pregnant, and I haven’t talked to her since. I wanted to deal with Kim first. That baby I’m not sure about. I used a condom every damn time, but I was stupid enough to use some Kim had and she had poked holes in them to get pregnant on purpose. Also, by the way, she hates you and Kellan, so beware. She’s so jealous of you she can’t see straight. She also had something to do with the whole Deacon thing. Not enough daddy’s attention and she wanted him to save her. Also, Stone is trying to out Devil and Steel from the MC. Did I remember everything Devil?” I look at him and he is just taking it calmly that I told Callie. They are smiling at each other “You already told her.”
“To be fair, I picked up on some things about Kim and Stone and told Kylar and he confessed all of the secrets, except for the Em thing.” Callie has always been good at sniffing things out. I should have known she would figure it out.
“I had to make sure Callie and Kellan were always protected, and she did not trust the wrong person. Your daughter actually has a good head on her shoulders and she deserves for there to be no secrets. I tell her everything I can and I will always make sure her and my son are protected. They are my world. I’m man enough to say I love your daughter and I know she needs some time, but she will be my wife again, and this time for the right reasons.” I actually believe Devil. Then Callie does something I never expected so soon. She reaches over, kisses him on the cheek, and smiles at him. Yeah, these two will be married again. She deserves some happiness.
Then out of nowhere Kim comes out of the door. “If you want to see your child, get in here.” I need to keep my cool with this woman, this may be my child. I need to come to terms with this. As we are walking back I check my phone to see if there are any messages from back home and nothing. They’re probably all still partying, so I text Brain and Blake. If anyone is still sober it will be them. I look at my watch and it is getting close to four. Surly someone can get back to me. About that time my phone dings. Brain received my text and they are on it. I relax some.
We get in the room and it is the standard thing. They ask her a bunch of questions, check her blood pressure. Then the nurse asks her to lay back. She pushes her shirt up under her tits and pushes the front of her shorts down and tucks them in. Then she measures around her stomach and leaves the room. As soon as the nurse is gone, Kim grabs my hand and I jerk it back. “I just wanted you to feel the baby kick. Very active today.” I place my hand back on the baby. It is moving around. I move my hand when she tries to put her hand on top of mine. “You don’t have to be that way. We could be a family, if you’d let us.”
“Not happening Kim. You got pregnant by deceiving me. I only fucked you to get even with Steel and Devil and to get information. I’ve never wanted you for anything else.” Well that surprised her. She doesn’t like rejection. “I won’t change my mind Kim, so hang it up.”
“You keep it up and you’ll never see your child.” Her first and last threat to me. I stick a chair under the door and turn on her.
“Do not threaten me Kim. You don’t know anything about the man I can be. Push me, and you will see exactly how ruthless I am. I still know about your little boyfriend. What would daddy dearest say about that, and how fast would you be out on your ass? Devil already knows. Tempt me darling, and pictures will end up everywhere.” I move the chair back.
“You wouldn’t. I mean, I don’t care.” I know she is worried. All this revolves around her not getting enough of Steel’s attention and hating Callie because of her goodness. Actually, hating any woman who gets more attention than she does. I know now she will keep pushing, she can’t help it, so I need to squeeze her boyfriend and Stone. Because without them she will fall back under Steel and what he wants until she finds a new sucker. Then the door swings open and the technician comes in with the sonogram machine. I have to calm myself down. Soon the doctor is in the room too, and Callie and Kat come in with the nurse. It is a full room. The doctor rubs the device with gel and starts moving it over Kim’s stomach. We hear the heart beat first and even if it happens not to be my child the sound of a baby’s heart is a miracle. Everyone is in smiles. Then the doctor moves it some more and we begin to see the form of the baby where we can make it out. Yes, definitely a boy.
“It’s a boy.” The doctor says and everyone seems happy, but you can tell no one is exactly excited. “Any questions?” We all say no and he turns to Kim and tells her he will see her next month.
The technician hands Kim the DVD and hands me pictures. I hand one to Kat, one to Callie, one to Kim, and I keep the other. Kat stays and helps Kim, but Callie and I walk out and meet Devil with Kellan. “Dad, you want to stay the night at our house?” Callie asks me.
“That sounds great coming from you.” We both look at Devil. “You called it our house.” He has it bad. Almost sickening.
“No. I have to get home and find out where Em is. I need to get her home.” It slips out, but I don’t regret it.
“Really dad? Home? Does this mean you care about her?” Callie knows, but she wants me to admit it.
“Baby Girl, I do care about her. I think I fell in love with her without trying to. Without wanting to, and now I have a lot to make up for, but I will do my best to make up for it.” I know I have to try.
“That’s good, dad. I look forward to meeting her.” That would mean a lot to me.
“Callie, you need to call Sarah. Her and your brother parted ways on bad terms. Well, she thinks it’s bad terms. He’s trying to let her go for her own good, and she don’t get it, but she probably needs her best friend. Tazer was really trying to do something good. Just talk to them. I’m sounding like some gossiping old hen. Things I do for you kids.” Here I am meddling. No not my usual self today. “Later.” I need to get home. I leave to get on my bike and get some distance from here.
Chapter 20
Em
I’m am in some pain waiting on the doctor to finally come in and see me in the ER. I’m trying to be patient, I am doing a better job than Joy. She is trying to drag any doctor she can find in to see me. I’ve been here for forty-five minutes and still no doctor. I’ve had to pee in a cup. They’ve taken blood. Checked my blood pressure. Asked me a million questions. I’m freezing because they had me change into a thin gown and said they would bring me a warm blanket, but I’ve yet to see it. I want to cry. I’m scared. I just want to know my baby is going to okay. I’m tired, but every time I get comfortable I feel like I need to pee again and it burns.
I woke up at 2:45 this morning with what I thought was just another trip to the bathroo
m in the middle of the night. Nothing irregular about that. I wake up every night one to three times with the urge to go. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I knew something was wrong, because I have a sharp pain in my middle back that moves around to my side, and then it seems to go to my pelvic area. I finally get into the bathroom to relieve myself, but when I wipe I notice a pink tint and then I get a burning sensation. I go back to bed and try to get situated and comfortable again, but I feel the urge to go again, and the pain starts again. I’m not too worried, I thought well, I didn’t finish. So I go to get up and I am hit by a stronger pain. This time it completely bends me over. I get back to the bathroom and repeat my prior trip but very little comes out, but this time when I wipe, it is definitely red. I’m bleeding. I guess it is spotting. I’ve never felt like this, but then a pain hits me and I am terrified I am miscarrying by now, and I scream for Joy.
Joy comes running with a bat in her hand, our form of self-protection, and she sees me sitting on the pot and she thinks I have lost it. “What are you doing?” She looks around in my small bathroom.
“I’m in pain and there’s blood when I wipe. What if I’m losing the baby?” I don’t know what is happening.
“Let’s get you to the hospital.” Joy tries to help me, but now the pain is more than annoying.
Now here I am at 4 AM and still waiting and still in pain and still spotting. Joy comes back over to me with not one, but two warm blankets in her hands. “By the time someone gave them to me, I wasn’t taking any chances. I grabbed two.” She puts them on me and I think I have died and go to heaven they feel so good.
“Thank you. They feel great.” Just as I am feeling warm the strong urge to go strikes again. I am trying to get up, Joy helps me and I make it, but when I sit down, nothing, just burning. I decide to sit there for a few minutes. I’m tired of the back and forth. Then I hear voices. Nothing I can make out. Maybe the doctor is finally here, but who I see when I open the door shocks me.