Without You

by Julie Prestsater

  Without You

  Julie Prestsater

  Published by Julie Prestsater, 2014.

  Table of Contents

  Without You

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Epilogue

  Teaser from Heidi McLaughlin

  Titles by Julie Prestsater

  “Without You had my heart singing to every sweet tune that came from Evan's gorgeous mouth! My new book boyfriend for sure!”

  -Toni Aleo

  New York Times and USA Today best selling author

  "Without You is so sweet and fun. Evan and Madison definitely make beautiful music together and I loved every minute of this second chance love story."

  -Nyrae Dawn

  New adult author of The Games Series

  “Without You is one of those reads that makes you want to plunge into the pages and truly live with each and every character.”

  -Gretchen de la O

  New adult author of The Wilson Mooney Series

  Copyright © 2014 by Julie Prestsater

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of a reviewer using brief passages.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, and real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Edited by Marion Archer

  Cover Design by Sommer Stein with Perfect Pear Creative Covers

  Cover Photo: © Mystock88photo | Dreamstime.com

  Visit Julie on the Web at www.juliepbooks.com.

  Dedication

  On April 27, 2013, I sat in Slater’s 50/50 eating beer-cheese fries and drinking Bacon Marys, and talking obnoxiously loud with a group of awesome women. It was at this lunch when I first shared the prologue of Without You. The ladies fell in love, urging me to finish a story that had started out with an obsession of a popular song. Almost ten months later, here we are...

  I’d like to dedicate this book to my Dirty Birdies: Sister, Mom, Lyndsi, Tiffany, Debbie, Kim, Olga, Marcie, & Amy. Your need to hear more than just the first three hundred words motivated me to finish Evan’s story. Thank you so much for all your love, support, and inspiration. I couldn’t have done it without each and every one of you.

  Acknowledgments

  Holy moly. How can I possibly thank everyone for all they’ve done to support me? The list is long and full of love, that’s for sure.

  First, I’d like to thank Sommer “Best Fucking Graphic Designer Ever” Stein for the amazing cover design. She quickly became one of my favorite people to talk to on Facebook. Lord, help everyone when we finally meet. Each of us thinks we’re funnier than the other, and damn, our conversations are hilarious. Shizzle! Word!

  To my stellar editor, Marion Archer. Dammit, I don’t know how she does it, but somehow she makes my work the best it can be. I trust her completely, knowing that she will ask all the right questions to make my stories complete and a thousand percent better than what I originally gave her. I love her comments, even though I have been banned from posting them on Facebook, and I always feel like she truly listens. She gets me. She completes me. Thank you, Marion! (yes, that’s an exclamation point!)

  To my amazing readers! You’re the effing best! How did I get to be so lucky? I had the best time in 2013 meeting so many of you: from Glorya, Stacey, Cindy, and Sharon in Pomona to Misty, Keli, and Tracy in Portland to Marybeth to Tami in Pittsburgh to Michelle, Nora, Jan, and Cynthia in Las Vegas, and many, many more. I look forward to meeting more readers in 2014.

  Bloggers and Reviewers, I love your faces! To Dawn & Abby (Up All Night Book Blog), Karleigh (Confessions of a Book Heaux), Slick & Shey (Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews), Ellie (Ellie LoveNBooks), and Sandy and the Michelles (Lovely Ladies and Naughty Books)... thank you so much for all your support. It was so great to meet and spend time with each of you this year. I know I missed so many others, but know I love you just the same. Your never ending support and the countless hours you spend promoting the books and authors you love is truly amazing. I will forever be grateful for everything you do!

  Let’s not forget the awesome group of authors that have been a huge support system and sounding board for me. Thank you, Catherine Bybee and Raine Miller, for being my writing fairy Godmothers. One of these days I’ll be able to make a decision without asking for your wise input. Nyrae Dawn, I could gush all day about how much your friendship means to me. It’s such a good feeling to know that you’re always in my corner and we are there for each other to toss ideas around or ask questions or go wine tasting. Thank you, my friend. M.R. Joseph, my Philly sister. I love you so much I have totally ignored your poor taste in football teams. You’re the sweetest person in the world and I’m glad our love for each other’s books has brought us together as friends.

  Gretchen de la O, Toni Aleo, Renèe Carlino, Hadley Quinn, Emmy Montes, Rebecca Shea, and A.L. Jackson... ladies, we have created something special and I can’t wait to see where this takes us. I just know that several books from now your names will still be on this page with me thanking you for everything we have accomplished together. To Authors Off The Shelf, cheers! Love you all so much I could squeeze the crap out of you.

  To my family and friends, thank you a million times. Words will never be enough to tell you how much I appreciate you and everything you do for me. Thank you to my mom, my sister, Lyndsi, Debbie, Tiffany, Olga, Amy, Stacia, Cousin Kim, and Darlene for going to Vegas or jumping on planes and traveling with me, carrying my shit, picking up receipts, and setting up my tables. I seriously could not do it without you. Just thinking about doing it alone makes me twitch. To my kids, thank you for always supporting me and telling your friends to read your crazy mama’s books. It’s not weird at all! To James, I love you! Thank you for taking care of me so I can work and continue to do something I love. My world would fall apart without you. Get it, without you. LOL! I crack myself up. But seriously, I love you so much! Thank you!

  Prologue

  EVAN

  I had no idea what made me stop at the piano bar. I was driving down Sunset and spotted the billboard. My manager said I would know when I was ready to perform again. Maybe he was right. It had been months since I’d sung live in front of an audience. I just hadn’t been feeling it. I barely made it through the last tour. The music didn’t sound the same. Singing sure didn’t feel the same. The overwhelming response from my fans didn’t give me the same rush it once did.

  Not without her.

  I had been in town for two weeks. With every passing minute, hour, day, I wanted nothing more than to call her. To stop by her house and just knock on the door. But I didn’t. I didn’t know what stopped me. Maybe it was the memory of the pain in her voice, screaming at me to leave her alone and never come bac
k. There were times when the sound of her sniffling cry had still wakened me from my sleep.

  I deserved the sleepless nights. The ringing in my ears reminding me that I fucked up.

  If I could have done it all over again, there were so many things I would have changed. So many things I would have done.

  For her.

  But it was too late.

  The piano bar’s call had been far too loud. Not only did I stop, but I found myself on stage once again. The time had come. I was ready. Apparently.

  As I finished pouring out my wounded heart into the microphone, finished tapping the keys of the piano for one last note, the crowd was silent.

  Except for the screeching of a chair, the clinking of a tipped-over glass, and the familiar sob of a woman.

  I peered out into the sea of darkness to find the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen staring right back at me. Somber and angry; the fiery light, seemingly long gone.

  It was her.

  Chapter 1

  MADISON

  My mouth dropped as I watched the next performer saunter onto the stage like it was made for him. I would have had to pinch myself to confirm I wasn’t dreaming if it weren’t for his trademark wink and the tip of his fedora at the audience as he took a seat on the black bench in front of the piano.

  “Good evening,” his deep and smooth voice purred into the microphone. “Thank you for letting me drop into the rotation.”

  Whispered chatter could be heard throughout the bar as people realized who was about to perform.

  “I’m going to play a song I’ve been writing for the last few years.” He paused, peering down and softly tracing his fingertips over the ivory keys of the piano. “Being back in town has inspired me to finish it.”

  I was completely still, my eyes trained on him like they had been so many times before. I inhaled a long breath as he played the first chords of his song. I finally exhaled as he began to sing.

  I hung on his every word and it didn’t take long for me to realize that he was singing about me. The lyrics were perfection. He sang about how he had taken me for granted. How he blew the little things, thought I’d always be there.

  But now, I’m without you.

  He sang about how he wished he could do it all over again and this time make it right. He apologized. Said he wanted to dance with me on our wedding night. He sang of daisies, fresh air, and sunshine.

  Remind me that I’m... Without you.

  The sweet cadence of his crooning tone called out to me and settled deep in me belly. The honest words poured from his heart and I couldn’t help but allow one lone tear crawl down my cheek as the song came to an end.

  He cleared his throat and looked out into the audience just as I rose to my feet in a frenzy tipping over a glass in the process and drawing unwanted attention my way. I glanced up at the stage and his gaze met mine before I could look away.

  It seemed like a lifetime of memories past through us as our gazes held one another.

  “Why? Why would you do this?” I cried out to my best friend, after summoning the strength from deep within to tear myself away from his gaze. My lifetime friend began to fumble her words like a tongue-tied child getting caught in a lie. I didn’t want to hear it anyway. The touch of Michael’s hand on my waist startled me and it was only then that I remembered my boyfriend was there beside me, witnessing my avalanche of emotions. It was no wonder why the look in his eyes was that of pure confusion.

  “Just sit back down, honey,” he said. “I’ll get someone to clean up the mess.”

  Good luck with that.

  “She didn’t do it on purpose.” He gestured to my best friend. Is that what he thought? That I was angry over a spilled glass of Chardonnay? Besides, my friend wasn’t the one who tipped the glass. I did. When I saw him. When I heard him.

  “I’m sorry, Michael.” Pulling my sweater from the back of my chair and my clutch from the table, I stole a glance at him before saying. “I have to go. Take me home.”

  “Don’t go,” Genna said, reaching out to grab my hand. “Or if you have to, let me come with you.”

  “Are you crazy? After what you pulled tonight, you’ll be lucky if I ever speak to you again.” She had to have known he was going to be there. There was no way it was a fluke, right?

  I turned on my heels and didn’t look back as I weaved throughout the circular tables to get as far away from that stage as possible.

  * * * * *

  “So I’m guessing that wasn’t about a spilled drink? Mind telling me what happened to make you want to leave?” Michael asked, after we started down the freeway.

  “That was my ex-boyfriend back there.”

  “Back where?” He glanced quickly from side to side as if he might still catch sight of him.

  “At the bar,” I responded, suddenly annoyed.

  “Where?”

  A long sigh escaped from my mouth before I could reply. “The guy who just finished singing.”

  “The last one?”

  “Yes. The last one.”

  Michael yanked on the steering wheel, taking the next exit off the freeway and pulled to a screeching halt in the parking lot of a Taco Bell. “Evan James is your ex-boyfriend?”

  Staring out of the passenger side window, I nodded slowly. “Yes.”

  “You never said your ex was Evan James.” His voice raised a few notches.

  “You never asked his name. I told you he was a musician.”

  “A musician, Madison. A musician. You never said you dated a Grammy-winning, Billboard-chart-topping, world-touring superstar.” He scrubbed his hand over his face, huffing dramatically as if I’d kept some deep dark secret from him—like a five-year-old kid, or worse, a sexually transmitted disease. “Evan James. That guy is like this generation’s Frank Sinatra and Kurt Cobain all rolled into one. I can’t believe this.”

  I couldn’t believe it either. I wasn’t sure if Michael was upset that my ex was a celebrity or if was bummed Evan wasn’t his own ex-best friend.

  When Michael parked in front of my house, I couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. I whipped my seatbelt off as soon as I pushed the release button, and out I went, hardly murmuring a goodbye to my long-time boyfriend, let alone an invitation to come in as he expected. He had usually stayed, but tonight was out of the question. My stomach was in knots, my head was pounding and I could not get those lyrics out of my head. Nor could I stop hearing the sexy rumble of Evan’s voice doing things to my insides that they should no longer be able to do. I was a wreck and it was all Evan’s fault. Again.

  Michael had attempted to get my attention, but gave up after five minutes. He knew I was stubborn and wouldn’t want to cause a scene in front of my house. Luckily, he didn’t press the issue or I would have put up a fight. My life as I knew it just got turned upside down, and whether it was unlike me or not, I really didn’t care if my neighbors heard me telling my boyfriend to take a hike.

  I slammed my front door shut behind me, went straight to my bedroom and into my closet, kicking off my heels along the way. I stood in the small walk-in and shimmied out of my dress after managing to pull down the zipper that spanned the length of my back. When I put on the red dress that evening, I imagined coming home with Michael and allowing him to rid me of the gorgeous number that fit me like a glove. Now, all I could think of was flannel pajamas. Even I couldn’t have sexy thoughts in granny jammies. And sexual fantasies should have been the furthest thing from my mind at that moment. I had just seen my ex-boyfriend for the first time in years. I shouldn’t be affected at all.

  But, oh, I definitely was.

  I knew Evan well enough to know that that song meant something to him. Unlike many artists, when he wrote, he lived, breathed, and felt every word that made it from his thoughts to paper. He was rarely concerned about writing the next biggest hit. But what he didn’t realize was that all his songs were hits because they came straight from his heart. Whether the inspiration came from his own love or he
artbreak, or a couple walking in a park, his songs came from some place deep inside him and his listeners couldn’t help but take notice. Couldn’t help but be riveted. Once he started singing, you didn’t stand a chance. He hypnotized you with his voice, his expression, and every note played from the keystrokes of the piano or from the pluck of the strings of his guitar. Everything about his music tugged at your heart. As soon as he opened his mouth, you were a total goner.

  And hell, my reaction wasn’t any different. Again.

  * * * * *

  When I woke the next morning, my eyes stung from lack of sleep. I was restless most of the night, tossing and turning, getting tangled in my sheets. After a few hours, I had to go into the bathroom and raid my medicine cabinet for something to help me snooze. I settled on a shot of Nyquil, which had done the trick in no time at all. I only wished I would have remembered to turn off my alarm first so I could have slept off the drug, but I didn’t. The alarm sounded and I was awake. Immediately, my mind jumped into overdrive.

  What was that line again? Something about swaying slowly in the moonlight and holding me tight? On our wedding night? Something like that. Why didn’t he think of that before? Hindsight is a bitch, that’s for sure. Everything he sang the previous night made me melt, even though I knew better. But damn, that man had me as putty in his hands the moment he opened his mouth, from the second he started playing the piano.

  There was always something sweet and sexy about his fingers gliding across the keys, the way his eyes would close as he felt the music. And that was just when he played the piano. Evan could play the guitar and the saxophone, too. Just the thought of his strong skillful hands, and how they had played me with the same passion as he would an instrument, had me clinching my thighs together. Again. He was a one-man band. A very hot, one-man band.

  One that had left me. I couldn’t forget that. I hadn’t forgotten that.

  I took my time showering, taking pleasure in massaging my aching head as I shampooed and conditioned my hair. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about Evan.