“Perfectly, ma’am.”
“And another thing. I want to send you on a mission of your own. It seems Aero Westwood has also gone missing. I want you to secure the civilians in the area, namely her father. We can’t afford to have them running around interfering with things.”
“You’re sending me to babysit?”
“Consider it a lenient punishment. I won’t stand for insubordination, Jason. You went out on your own and placed an agent without my explicit orders. No one is above the agency, Jason. Not even you. I would have thought the incident with Maxwell would have taught you that.”
The more she thought about what had happened, the greater her suspicion of Jason grew. Her reaction to send him away from the mission had been instinctual, but she learnt her lessons well. In MI-S there were no second chances.
Chapter Fifteen
Lilly Has Secrets of Her Own
Lilly, balancing on the tips of her toes, put her arms around Fred and spoke in a timid whisper. “She’s gone without us.” It took every ounce of her strength to hold back the tears.
Without seeing him move, Lilly knew he was nodding in agreement. He held her in his strong, comforting arms but said nothing. Lilly knew it was because there were no words to be said.
It was hard thinking clearly amongst the muddle of her own thoughts. First Aero’s mum and aunt had left, and now her best friend. But what could she do? They had no way to chase after her. Not where she’d gone.
As he moved her away from his chest, she felt sorry to be wrenched from the scent which made her feel safe. He held onto her. She couldn’t fail to notice his height wasn’t the only change these days, as his biceps threatened to burst out of his sweatshirt. Had he been working out?
Fred brushed her lips with a delicate testing touch and then kissed her. Lilly swallowed hard. It should have felt better; it was their first. Did he do it to take her mind off things or because there were feelings unsaid between them? Either way, he couldn’t fix it.
Aero had made it clear she wanted to do this alone. Leaving them behind was one heck of a way to make her statement. But Lilly knew she wasn’t always the best at understanding people cared for her.
Fred gave the impression he was happy with their non-involvement, but he didn’t know Aero as she did. Sure, she was a witch, all-powerful to folks like them, but he hadn’t known the girl before she had discovered her powers.
With or without magic, Lilly knew Aero was the kind who needed someone to remind them they were worth something. To bolster them up because they didn’t yet have confidence, even though they deserved it. Lilly had been the one to get her out of trouble, more times than she could count, but what separated them was only the thinnest of membranes.
Aero had always thought Lilly was her friend because Aero needed her, but it was the other way around. Lilly had secrets of her own. Helping Aero was not as noble as perhaps her friend thought. Lilly got a buzz out of their friendship. It filled the hole, lifted the fog.
It wasn’t precisely magic which flowed in her veins, and it couldn’t exactly be called a blessing, given how it came to her. She hadn’t always needed the thick glasses, either, but on a philosophical day, the alternative could have been much worse. At least she could still see.
Fred was looking at her. Even without being able to see his face, the tingle in her spine, the goosebumps running along her arms, gave it away. When she was with him, he made her feel more attractive than she’d ever felt in her life; beautiful even. He wasn’t afraid of her intelligence, and he never backed down from an argument. He saw her, he made her feel special. But there were things about her he didn’t know. Fred thought she was someone she wasn’t. How would he think then?
Lilly had wanted to tell Aero, of course, but the timing never seemed to be a metronome which clicked to her beat. There was always something else in the way. And after Andrew, she didn’t want to think about time, the fleetingness of it, or anything.
Fred and she had been seeing each other for a few months. Once things had started to get a little whacky in Scholarly Wood, they had both looked to each other for relief. At first, it was nothing more. She’d fallen asleep on his couch, nestled in his neck, plenty of times. Funny how his shoulder seemed to be the perfect fit for her head. But then there was this kiss; a fleeting act of two coming together for a blink of an eye. Barely even a beat or tap in time’s great plan. Odd how one small act could change so much because now, there was something to lose.
“Fred, you like walking, right?”
“Erm… yes, sure. Why, where do you want to go?” He tucked his bottom lip in between his teeth. She could see the hurt in his eyes. The kiss.
“I think we should take a stroll over to Aero’s dad’s house. He needs someone to find him.”
“Xander needs someone to find him? Wait, how do you get lost in your own house?” Then he added, “I can’t imagine how he’s feeling, right now.”
“Yes, you can, Fred. You said it yourself. Lost. That’s how he’s feeling. Most people think being lost is like being in the woods, you know? Maybe that’s ’cos it makes them feel better. Thinking of trees as a comfort. But it’s not true. Being lost is like being in the city. The cars are flying past, it’s so noisy you can’t even hear yourself think, and you’re walking down the pavement but it’s crammed with people. You have to put your elbows out to stop yourself from being trampled. Trouble is, everyone else is looking away from you. They don’t even see you. That’s what feeling lost really feels like.”
He took a deep breath, inhaling her words almost. “Wow, okay, babes. That’s pretty blooming specific.”
She felt herself go heavy. She’d never told anyone before. The lump in her throat was getting bigger. First they’d kissed, and she hadn’t said a word about it, and now there were so many words she wanted to get out, they stuck in her gullet like a rock. “Yeah, it is, because I know it’s true. There’s more, Fred. It’s like he’s right in front of me. I can feel his pain as if he were a lighthouse calling out to all the lost boats on the ocean. Of course, he’s the lost boat. Listen, I’m not explaining this very well. I just want to be able to see something else for a while. Perhaps if we go to his house we can help. It’s selfish, I know, but maybe it’ll help me too.”
All Lilly could do was look at his feet, not daring to look up at his face and meet his eyes.
“What are you not saying, Lilly? I’m not getting this at all. Are you trying to tell me something? Are you trying to tell me you’re the girl in the city? Because if you are, I promise you we can stay right here in Scholarly Wood!”
“I know I should have told you before, Fred. But I didn’t know then, not until just now. I love you, you see. I didn’t understand it till you kissed me. So, yes, I’ve got to tell you something, while you still have a chance to get out.”
Fred took her by the hand and led her to the couch. Her body didn’t protest as he sat down with her. She felt better being close to him, his sweet smell calming the words banging against her chest. He looked at her and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. “I’m not going anywhere, so tell me.”
She’d practised telling him a thousand times in her head. It always proved difficult, but it wasn’t like this. Her throat suddenly felt dry and raspy. Although the need to tell him everything burned fierce, her mind had gone blank. His eyes were on her, curious but fearful. There had to be a way to break the tension between them. She held out her hand, feeling the weight of his face as he let her hold him up.
“But before you do, don’t you want to talk about…”
“Yes,” Lilly interrupted. She did want to talk about it. She wanted to tell him exactly how what had just happened felt. So, she leant forward and kissed him.
“Okay.”
The lightness in his reply moved the lump in her throat and like a Catholic at confession, her sins came pouring out.
“If there were other cars on the road, I didn’t see them, but I remember the thick
dark grill of Mr Peterson’s car as clearly as you’re sitting across from me now.
“It’s funny how I don’t remember the feeling of the car hitting me, but I still see that grill in my nightmares sometimes. It’s like an angry monster coming to gobble me up.
“The rest is a bit of a blur. I was on my scooter. I know that much, because Mum told me after. I was supposed to stay inside until tea was made, but it was a lovely day, you know? I just wanted to have a bit of fun, and I was only going to be ten minutes.
“Lucky. The doctors said I was lucky not to be dead, especially as I didn’t have a helmet on. Mum’s not eaten a chocolate orange since then. The sound - when you bang them on the floor to open the slices? She says that’s what it sounded like when the car hit. I don’t know, but just the thought is enough to put me off them. I guess that’s hardly the message to take away from this, though.”
Fred waited a second before replying, but he followed her every movement and never left her face. Tracing each of her expressions onto his own, she could tell he was imagining the dull echo of her head hitting the road. For her, no imagination was required.
“Knowing this just makes me love you more. Imagine if you’d died that day?”
“I sometimes wish I had.” Lilly felt her face go red. “But not today.” She too paused for a second, taking in the moment which had passed between them. “It was a long time ago now. All healed up. Though if you put your hand here, you can still feel the lump where they opened me up. After the surgery, I started to feel things I hadn’t before. It took some time for me to put it all together, because for a while there I thought I was going mad. But once I did, I knew it was real. Like I’d gained an extra sense. I find those who are lost, not just physically but mentally too. That’s why I knew I had to be friends with Aero. Once upon a time, she was the most lost person I’d ever met.”
She looked at him. “I can’t tell whether you believe me or not, but please wipe that look of pride off your face. You think I did it because I was kind? I did it because it hurt. Just like it hurts now hearing Xander. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand myself.”
Lilly regretted the tone of anger in her voice, especially seeing Fred look at her with more love than a person who could do that deserved.
“Of course you did it because you’re kind, Lilly. Even if you don’t realise it yet. And yes, I believe you. Can’t you tell I do? I can’t remember the last time I went this long without making a joke. That alone should prove I’m taking this seriously.”
“Well then, take it a bit more seriously and let me tell you I love you back.”
“Okay,” Fred replied. The tight worried lines of his face dissolved as he pulled her into his arms.
Lilly had felt love many times in her life. She was fortunate to have parents who had never held back, but his arms held a welcome beyond her experience. Whether he wholly believed her or not, he accepted her.
When he released her, Lilly didn’t have the words to express the thoughts in her heart.
“So, you mentioned a walk?” Fred asked her. “I presume to find a lost thing?”
“Yep.”
“Well, lead the way, babes. And don’t think I’m not cooking up some good jokes about how I’ve got a girlfriend with superpowers now. Oh, do you think you could get an outfit like Wonder Woman’s?”
She clunked him on the arm, but she had to admit his shining eyes and wide smile soon had her laughing right along with him.
Chapter Sixteen
Being a Double Agent is a Dangerous Business
Jason’s profession as a double agent meant the only thing to do was obey the order to babysit, maintaining the cover which was so precariously hanging by a thread. Looking up at The Westwood house through the windshield, spite bubbled underneath his skin. Pouting, he wanted to screech in disgust. Jason considered the lack of luck which had conspired to bring such misfortune and despair. Megan had left him stranded. Arianna’s punishment for going off on his own was to force him to do childish, menial chores. Two women, both with hidden, back-stabbing knives.
When Megan had left, she’d told him not to worry, her return would also bring a full explanation. She’d dragged him into all this with the implied invitation of something happening between them. It wasn’t imagined but now he knew it for what it was. For a while there… now embarrassment sickened him. A man would have just taken what he wanted. What was deserved. He disgusted himself, allowing a woman to use him like that. Correction, women.
Fiery acid churned in his stomach, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. Anger kept the desperation of the situation at bay, but even as he sat and pondered whether to leave and run for the hills, he knew only a coward would do such a thing.
Leaning forward in the seat to get a better look inside the house, Jason realised Xander, Aero’s father, wasn’t a threat to anyone. The man had no magical powers of his own. What was a person like him even doing living with witches? Why did he have to sit here and babysit such a pathetic human being?
He glared at him through the binoculars; huddled up on the sofa, like a lost, love-sick puppy mourning his owners, who had left him all alone. From the intelligence given to him by MI-S, he knew Perri, Aero’s mum, and Louise, her aunt, also normally lived here. Even they had left him.
Jason would not let that happen to himself. The idea of punching Xander’s face repeatedly blossomed in his mind. It held definite appeal. What better way to vent some of the frustration and restore his self-worth? As time went on, Jason became more and more certain that the prospect of spilling the man’s blood would alleviate these bitter feelings. At least until he could take it out on the women who really owed him their blood.
Cracking his knuckles, his face darkened as he got out of the car. Yeah, it was about time he and Xander had a little chat.
Running hot, Jason leapt into action, but with a momentary slide he briefly lost his footing on some loose gravel and gravity took over. His legs went from underneath his body and for a split second he felt a sting from behind. The redistribution of weight soon sent him backwards into the open car door. In a flash his body recovered its trajectory and motivation.
Recovering instantly, the slip did nothing to deter him. It felt too good to get back to the only thing he loved doing: hurting people. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that. To him, breaking bones and splitting heads was what candy was to a kid.
The walk from the car to the door was swift. It took no time at all to decide to knock rather than break it down. Sometimes the best ways were the easiest. No point making something more difficult than it needed to be. As he stood there and waited for Xander, like a neighbour asking to borrow a cup of sugar, he hoped the guy wouldn’t decide to just ignore him.
He needn’t have worried as only seconds later the door latch went. Suddenly feeling oddly lightheaded and woozy, Jason reached out to the wall to steady himself. God, he really must have missed the adrenaline rush.
On his feet again, the sight of Xander eyeing up this stranger in black gave him all the strength he needed. Particularly in his upper arms, which swept the guy to the side like a fly. A feeble man, not exactly much of a challenge, but it got Jason’s heart pumping hard with delight. The altercation on the doorstep had taken no time at all. Jason swiftly slammed the door shut with the pair inside. Nothing for any pesky neighbours, or worse, neighbourhood watchers, to see.
Screaming with energy, Jason grabbed Xander by the back of his shirt and pulled him into the living room. The guy had no fight at all. It almost felt like a crime to hurt him. Then Xander glared at him. To Jason’s surprise, he seemed to have recovered himself somewhat. He smiled. It looked this was going to be fun after all.
Stepping around the couch, Jason motioned for Xander to take a seat. There was no need to rush this. There was a little time to play with his toy before lights out. No one was going to disturb them. He placed his hand on Xander’s shoulder.
“So, what shall we talk about?”
Jason saw Xander flinch.
“I guess your family just don’t love you anymore. Especially Aero. Must hurt being left here all on your own. Perhaps you and I can spend a bit of quality time together. Something to take your mind off it?”
Xander wouldn’t look him in the eye. His gaze skirted here and there, but Jason couldn’t help but notice when his eyes did decide to linger. Shuddering, he briefly felt a little paranoia. Then realised his idiocy. Xander had probably just noticed he was packing heat.
“What you looking at? Here we are, having only just met and you look like a man dying to get away. My name’s Jason, by the way. Always nice to get properly introduced. Can’t have a real friendship without being on first name terms. Don’t worry though, I know who you are.”
“If you’ve laid a finger on my girl’s head, I promise you, you will regret it.” Xander’s voice sounded broken but Jason feared the look in his eyes. It was a dangerous thing, giving weak men the strength to do things they shouldn’t.
“Don’t worry about it. Hand on my heart, I can honestly say I haven’t seen or done anything to her.”
Xander cleared his throat. “If you know me so well, then why are you here? Seems to me, I’m nobody. Which means, I guess, maybe you’re a nobody too.”
Jason cursed under his breath. How could this guy split open his heart so easily, revealing his darkest fears? He was nothing. “That’s priceless, that is. You think you know me? We haven’t even begun to get friendly yet.”
Never taking his gaze off Xander, he took off his jacket and set it down next to him. “Let me help you up off that couch, so we can have a real party.”
Jason smiled, seeing the colour drain from Xander’s skin. Now they were face to face, he eyeballed him, wondering how much of a dance partner Xander would prove to be.
He stepped back, ready to start. Xander got in the first shot with a swing of his fist. It was only a glancing blow to his side but the contact felt heavy and hard. He watched as Xander prepared to bring another, but with a simple step forward, Jason closed the gap and cut off the swing. Holding Xander’s arms at either side in a morbid embrace, he brought up a sharp knee, winding him. Xander followed through with a barrage of bloody blows, each one getting softer as the feeling of lightheadedness swept over him again.
A Sorcery of Shadows: The Westwood Witches 2 Page 10