He tossed her a flirtatious wink. “What kind of pictures?”
“You know, for the album.” Now that she knew she wasn’t going to be here to raise her son, it was doubly important to leave a record of who she was.
“You’re doing an album?” Susannah asked.
“Yeah, I want my son to be able to look back someday, and say, ‘So that’s what Mom was like. Not afraid to get her hands dirty.’”
“Well I declare, sugar, are you expectin’ ? Now, stop— Jake, don’t let her lift even one of those bricks.”
Obviously son sounded too definite. Conscious of Jake’s careful scrutiny, Lilly rushed to cover her blunder. She waved her hand dismissively. “Relax. I just mean someday, you know? So Jake, how about it?”
She’d wanted some photos for the baby-to-be; in the meantime, she wouldn’t mind a few of the hot and sweaty father-to-be.
Jake eased closer under the guise of plucking dead flowers out of her hair. “You sure?”
Lilly understood what he meant. She’d chased him until she caught him, she’d made sure he didn’t use condoms, and now she was going to out-and-out lie to him? And then die? Elizabeth had warned her that telling the whole truth about coming back never worked out, but Jake had a right to know. He was the one who had to plan his future around a child.
The zap’s meaning was loud and clear.
Under any other circumstances she’d roast in hell for this. But the angels not only approved, one of them was actually guiding her through it, so it couldn’t be wrong. Her child was destined to be born, unless she messed up. He was destined to do something great, they’d said.
She nodded at Jake and smiled, trying for a triple play: to reassure him, lift the mood, and change the subject. She tipped her chin up and looked him right in his beautiful dark blue trusting eyes.
“You’d be the first one I’d tell.”
Her ploy must have worked, because he said, “You know you’re wearing as many dead flowers as you fed the compost pile?” and tweaked her chin playfully.
“I’ll, uh, go get my camera.” She stumbled backward because she was staring at his mouth instead of where she was going.
“Careful.” And then he snapped his fingers as if he’d just thought of something crucial. “Oh hey, I’ll go with you. I have a digital camera; you’ll be able to see the shots right away.”
There was a new one, not come see my pictures, but come see my camera.
They walked side by side across the lawn. His ploy, she quickly learned, was to continue the conversation away from Susannah.
“I’m not against having kids.” Taking her hand in his, he caressed it with the pad of his thumb.
See? she thought to Elizabeth. He wouldn’t mind. Let me tell him.
“But I’ll admit, now’s not a good time. I need to dig myself out of this hole I’m in first. Get my family out of debt.”
If she’d had any illusions that he wouldn’t mind, they’d just been irrevocably erased.
“I hope you understand.”
“Sure,” she said.
“It’s just that you sounded pretty definite back there. You know, the son thing.”
She pasted on her most reassuring smile, and he let her enter the house first. “I’m sure I’ll have one someday.”
“Huh. Sounded more definite than that.”
“There’s just some things a woman knows, Jake.”
“Don’t go getting all cryptic on me now. Let me guess. John? No, wait, must be Elizabeth. Geez, you should’ve bought me a book on angels, not numerology.”
“I can still get—”
“No!”
His hasty reply reassured her that she’d been correct in not pushing the angel issue—yet. “How about using what you’ve learned to help me pick out a name?”
“Only one problem, sweetheart. I don’t recognize it as truth.”
She smiled up at him. “But you’ll help me anyway because you’re a more enlightened guy now.”
“I’ll help you anyway”—he retrieved his camera from a closet—”because if you start reading that book, you’ll see new meaning in every address we go to.”
“Ooh, I hadn’t thought of that. You think I can tell a good charity from a bad one by its address?”
“Do I? No. Would you think so? Probably.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. He kissed her quickly, trying to capture it.
“You know,” he rumbled against her lips, his hands lifting the hem of her T-shirt, “there’s just something about a woman in dead flowers and jeans and nothing else.”
Lilly winced, her cheeks flaming hot with embarrassment. “I can’t believe you heard that.”
“I’d claim I’m psychic, but you’d never believe it.”
“With good reason.” She ducked out of his arms. “Come on, I want a picture with Susannah.”
He held the camera at arm’s length, snapped one of himself, and winked at her.
“Just for you. Oh wait, I know, I’ll get one with a stack of bricks on this side.” He indicated the left side of his chest, still bare, smudged with dirt. He dogged her steps back to the garden, teasing her with images of bricks against his bare chest. “They’ll contrast nicely with my ‘nothing else,’ don’t you think?”
“I hope I don’t go all limp and drop one on your foot.”
Susannah shrieked when she saw the first picture of herself on Jake’s little screen. “Well goodness, sugar, you just erase that right now,” she said, swatting his biceps.
“I’ll take another.”
“You most certainly will not.” To be sure, she stomped away. “It’s time for my shower now, so I’ll just leave you two to your fun.”
Lilly prolonged their time in the yard—in view of anyone walking a dog—by posing alongside the brick mowing strip she’d dug in, next to the bluebird nest box she’d cleaned out, with the taxi, in the taxi, and wherever else she could think of to tease Jake a little longer simply because they both enjoyed it.
“Now get on the hood,” Jake directed.
“Cheesecake’s not very original.”
“Yeah, but I’ll like looking at it. You got a bikini?”
“Oops, getting late. Time for my shower.”
He sighed pitifully. “I’ll just go upload these to the computer so you can pick the ones you want later.”
His put-upon, glum tone didn’t fool her for a minute. Sure enough, she was rinsing shampoo out of her hair when he poked his head inside the shower door and rumbled a very male, “Mm-mm, now that’s an even better picture.”
“No!”
Her right hand shot out to ward him off or block herself from his viewfinder, she wasn’t sure which because it was all reflex. With the other, she desperately swiped water off her face so she could open her eyes and see what the heck he was up to.
“Unless your camera’s waterproof, I wouldn’t recommend trying it.”
“Hell, woman, who needs a camera? When it comes to you, I’ve got a photographic memory.”
“Good, then you don’t need to be in here.” That’d never fool him; she didn’t sound very firm, even to herself.
“Well, need is another issue entirely.” His tone was husky and deep and full of exactly that as he shucked his jeans, stepped into the tub, and closed the door. “You soap my back, I’ll soap yours.”
She reached for the towel draped over the frame. He clamped a hand on it, letting her dry her eyes but nothing else. Then he reached out the door.
“I’m serious about the camera.”
“This is better. Trust me.”
Uh-oh.
“Knowing how insatiable you are and how many loads of bricks I carted across the yard, I thought reinforcements were in order.” At which point, his hand came back with two toys. “Lifelike? Or plain ol’ plastic?”
“Ah, raided the trunk, I see.”
She studied them, then him, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she debated.
“Batteries in p
lace, ready to go.” He waggled them to increase temptation, as if she needed more than him standing there in front of her, dark eyes twinkling, his body nude and aroused.
“Lifelike won’t intimidate you?” she asked.
“Are you kidding?”
He exchanged the rejected one for the bar of soap, slicked his chest with it, then turned her around and pressed himself against her back, drawing lazy circles on her skin with his body. His sexy whisper rumbled in her ear.
“Real life guys don’t need batteries, babe.”
Feeling him against her just about did her right then.
He ran the bar of soap leisurely over her breasts, taking his time before he set it aside. He cupped her then, supporting the weight of her breasts as his very talented fingers tugged her sensitive nipples into hard pebbles.
She had no idea where the vibrator had gone, but if he didn’t get to it soon, they wouldn’t be testing it this time around.
Stretching her arms up and back gave her fingers free ran of his wet hair. Circling her hips against him brought him to a full erection against her cheeks as warm water cascaded over them, energizing every square inch of her skin. She felt free and decadent, as if she’d gone native under a gentle outdoor waterfall. Cherished, knowing she was in the arms of her other half.
“Ready?” he murmured, and she was pleased to note the unsteadiness in his voice.
A low hum tickled her breast then, and after a startled laugh of surprise, she let her head fall back onto his chest, let him show her the way. Whatever he wanted to do was fine by her. She knew it’d be great, just like everything else they’d done together.
Ever so slowly, he inched the thrumming toy down over her soap-slicked body, fluttering it here, pressing it there, testing her reaction, her pleasure, until she parted her legs and it finally nestled where she wanted him.
“I want you, Jake,” she gasped. She tried to turn and face him, but he held her where she was. “Now.”
“Oh, you’re gonna get me”—he chuckled deeply against her neck—”in a few minutes.”
He didn’t get one second longer than that because Lilly was desperate for more, much more, her whole body consumed with a burning desire that only he could fulfill.
“Please, Jake.”
“Please what?”
“I have to have you.”
“I’m right here, sweetheart.” His erection slipped between her legs.
Finally.
When he withdrew, she tugged at his scalp, his hair, and cried out in frustration. And yet he teased her again.
“Inside me,” she insisted.
His hands got busy and eased something else inside. “Like this?”
Ohhhh.
Taking his time, he let her adjust to the size, the feel, the humming pressure. He was in control, and for once she recognized the immense power that enabled him to focus solely on her wants and needs, mentally processing what she liked and when she needed more.
Her muscles convulsed, contracting with strength that surprised her. Her knees weakened with her climax, and she knew if she didn’t get Jake soon, she’d be too wrung out, too boneless to get him inside her, to experience his very male, gotta-have-you-now intensity that always took her over the edge.
He eased up, and she did a little focusing of her own. She took stock of the hard, slippery tub, then twisted within the protective circle of his arms and climbed him until she could lower herself onto him in one smooth, earth-shattering motion. He braced her against the wall and moved inside her, flesh against flesh. She thrust rhythmically against him until they peaked together, waves of ecstasy throbbing through her until both of them were sated.
Drained.
Unable to think.
She didn’t know where he finally found the strength— because she was draped bonelessly over him, head resting on his shoulder, gasping for air—but he was able to lower them both to the floor of the tub. There, locked chest to chest, water spraying over their heads and pooling around their bodies, their heartbeats gradually slowed, their breathing grew easier and deeper, and their bodies finally cooled down.
“Damn, woman, you are incredible.”
She laughed in delight and rained kisses all over his face, skimming his eyelids and nose and lips and cheeks and a rough five o’clock shadow.
“God, I wish I’d found you first,” she said. “And I don’t mean just the sex. Spending time with you has been like being with my best friend.”
“Even when we argue?”
She grinned. “Especially when we banter.”
“Is that what we do?”
“Yes, like when I say I’m famished and are you going to feed me now?”
“I gotta teach you that it’s fun to cook—it’s the only way I’m gonna get any rest.”
“Yeah, like that.”
He lifted her off his lap—oh man, how she loved the way he could do that. It just proved how big and strong he was, manly as Betsy would say. Lilly’s feminine side swelled with pride that she’d made him hers.
When he picked up the vibrator and said, “I’ll leave this with you,” she laughed and said, “Are you kidding? I’d just have to hunt you down and have my way with you again.”
17
Just because Lilly’d had her eyes opened didn’t mean it didn’t suck.
Spring was here, the time of new beginnings. Cold days were few. Daffodils and tulips and hyacinths replaced crocuses. Bluebirds flitted around with grass in their beaks, refilling their nest boxes in the avian version of love and future.
So far she’d found no chink in Jake’s protective armor; tarot, channeling, heaven, angels, and numerology were all pretty much anathema to him. There was nothing in his bedroom or taxi—his domains—that spoke of belief of any kind. No cross or St. Christopher medal. No rabbit’s foot or four-leaf clover. No crystal or totem. If he couldn’t see it, hear it, and prove it, it didn’t exist.
If there was to be any hope that he’d accept her fate— and his—more easily, she had to turn up the pressure.
What would Jake tell their son to cushion the pain of losing his mother when he was so tiny and helpless? It was small consolation that motherless with the Murdochs had to be worlds better than what she’d had—knowing her own parents were too disinterested and too disconnected from her to provide the nurturing she’d always craved. She’d been alone; her son would have aunts, uncles, cousins, and someday maybe even siblings.
Lilly’s last stop of the day was at the children’s club, after school so the facility wouldn’t be empty, but brimming with life. Mooch rode in tucked under Jake’s arm like a football, which he seemed to find quite satisfactory.
“You’re here!” Ollie beamed and rounded his desk. “Boy, have I got news for you.”
Lilly mirrored his excitement when she said, “What?”
“I can’t wait to show you. The pet center’s barely started, but we have a space. Come on, this way. Oh, here’s Reggie. Reggie, this is Mrs. Marquette, remember? She’s the lady who’s making the pet center possible.”
Reggie ducked his head and very, very quietly said, “Hi,” then shyly peeked through lowered eyes to gauge her reaction.
Not wanting to overwhelm him, Lilly smiled warmly, calmly, when what she really felt was the urge to throw her arms around the little boy and say, “Good job!”
Instead she held out her hand and said, “Hi, Reggie. Can you show me where it is?”
No one was more surprised than she when he took her hand. “We’re gonna get two kittens,” he said with slightly more volume. He looked longingly at Mooch, then craned his neck up at Jake. “He won’t be jealous, will he?”
“He’ll be just fine, sport. Just fine.”
They spent extra time in the bare room set aside to be the pet center. Already there were crayon drawings posted on the unfinished dry wall, depicting a plethora of pets.
“That’s a bunny,” Reggie said, pointing at a purple outline with two large upright ears.
“Did you draw this?” Lilly asked softly, bending down in order to hear Reggie better, but not so close as to send him skittering away.
He stared at her for a moment, then nodded.
“Well, it’s very good. Who did the others?”
“Kids.”
“Do you know what they are?”
He proceeded to name off hamsters, gerbils, puppies, goldfish, and colorful birds that existed only in some child’s mind. She and Jake stayed until it was time for Reggie to run and meet his grandmother.
“You did that,” Jake said on the way out the front door, taking Lilly’s hand in his.
“I’m only one cog in the wheel.” She shrugged off his praise, though it felt good to know—no, to see—that her money was making a difference. “And it might not last.”
“Everybody has to start somewhere.”
To avoid rush hour, she and Jake ate dinner at Angelo’s, a nice little Italian hole-in-the-wall on the Hill, a place Lilly never would’ve discovered on her own. Not many other people did, either, and they lingered over lasagna and wine until Jake’s cell phone rang.
“Yeah, okay. Uh-huh, usual place? See you in an hour. Remind me to give you your watch.” He snapped his phone shut and said, “One of my regulars.”
“Do we have to leave right away?”
“Actually, we’ve got a little time to kill. What would you like to do?”
She kicked off her heels, leaned back in her chair, and wiggled her feet onto his lap. “I want another dessert.”
“I hope you’re not expecting me to rub your feet while you’re eating.”
“I’ll rub yours later.”
“My feet don’t hurt.”
“I wasn’t talking feet.”
“Well all right then.” He gave Lilly a really good foot massage under the table until time to leave. She looked forward to paying him back after his last time call.
She’d met a few of his regulars, no one remarkable, so she was pretty surprised when they were driving down the street later with Rachel in the backseat, and Rachel suddenly stripped her dress over her head. Lilly snapped straight forward, eyes on the road.
The only clue she had that Jake had noticed was a cheeky little grin aimed her direction. Otherwise he and Rachel carried on a pretty normal conversation, Lilly thought, until she started listening closer.
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