by Wendy Smith
“Hi, Lily. How are you feeling?” He must be a doctor.
I lick my lips, letting go of his hand. “Umm a bit groggy. I feel like I’ve slept, but I’m still tired.”
He nods, and I return to the unanswered question. “You said they stopped labour?”
In return I receive another nod. “It wasn’t easy, but you responded to the medication. The doctor will be through shortly to talk to you.”
This isn’t the doctor? “I don’t understand. Who are you?” He must have me confused with someone else, surely. My head’s still fuzzy. He said labour?
There is that smile again, the one that told me he has a great deal of sympathy for me, but doesn’t give me anything else to go on. “My name’s Joseph Waterson, and I’m the case worker who’s been assigned to you. The medical staff managed to stop your labour, but your pregnancy is along enough that the baby’s viable.” His smile grows. “But it’s obviously better for both of you if your baby stays inside. At least for a while longer.”
Baby? My heart races now. It’s like a lightbulb moment as I realise what that hard lump in my belly is. And if the baby is viable …
“What’s the date?” I ask, my mouth dry.
“Sorry?”
“Day, month. What is it?”
He frowns. “October twelve.”
My eyes sting with sudden tears. “Six months,” I whisper.
“I’m here to talk to you about how you move forward. You’ll be in here for some time, and we need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
“Taking care …” I stumble on the words. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?” The tears roll down my cheeks, and his eyebrows twitch in confusion.
“Lily, I’ve been brought in because your mother said you haven’t been taking care of yourself. Not eating, not sleeping, and we’ll need to talk about your toxicology results.”
My head spins. “You don’t know. How can you not know?” I roll onto my side, burying my face in the pillow.
“Know what? What do you need to tell me?” He’s confused, I can hear it in his tone, and it sinks in that Mum’s lied to them, spun a story to get herself out of trouble. She’s still got enough sense to do that.
“She drugged me to stop me getting married. I’ve been trapped in that house for six months, and no one came looking. She’s sick. She needs looking after.”
Through my teary eyes, I look at this man whose expression has switched to one of horror.
“If there are drugs in my blood, they’re her prescription meds. All the crap that doctors have given her over the years. Some things helped, some didn’t, but she had them all. God knows what she gave me.” I swallow. “The only reason I’m here is because my pain and bleeding forced her to do something.” I close my eyes. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I thought I was dying.” Opening them again, I look at the only person I’ve seen other than my mother in six months. “What chance does my baby have now?” Adam’s baby.
“I … I see.” He’s clearly shaken. Who wouldn’t be? What a weird tale. Does he even believe me? Would I believe me?
He blinks a few times, as if he’s trying to process what I’ve said.
“Where’s my mother?”
“You had to be airlifted. You’re in Waikato Hospital,” he says quietly. “She said she would follow as soon as she could.”
My stomach tightens. “Someone needs to go and check on her. How long have I been here?”
“Two days.” His voice drops to a whisper. I’m free and still no one has worked out what happened. She could have done anything by now. I’m angry at her, but scared for her too. I want her to be punished. I want her taken care of.
Mum.
By the morning, she’s in custody.
I don’t know how to feel. She hurt me and my baby, but she’s still my mother, and I love her no matter what.
My baby.
The knowledge I’m pregnant is still sinking in. I need Adam—where the hell is he? Why did he never come for me? So many questions.
To give me some freedom, I’ve been taken off the IV fluids for a while, and I leave the room, walking down a corridor and surrounding myself in the glorious hum of hospital background noise. It doesn’t matter what they’re saying or doing, just as long as I’m not alone anymore.
Down the hall, there’s a small communal area with a television on the wall and a phone on the table. I sit on a chair beside the phone and look at it for a moment. As much as I want to speak with Adam, it scares me that he doesn’t know where I’ve been all this time and doesn’t seem to have made any effort to find me.
I pick up the phone and dial, closing my eyes as the line rings.
“Hello?”
Damn it. Adam’s mother.
“Hi, may I speak to Adam?” I ask.
“He doesn’t live here now. Who’s calling?”
My stomach sinks. If he isn’t there, where is he? Is he as heartbroken as I am?
I have to tell her—it might be the only way to get hold of him. “Mrs Campbell, it’s Lily.”
Silence greets me.
“Lily Parker?” I try again.
“I know who you are. What I don’t know is why you’re calling for Adam when I’m sure you know he’s not here.” Over the years her accent has been softened by living in New Zealand, but when she’s irritable, her American heritage is as clear as a bell. It doesn’t help that she’s always scared the shit out of me.
“I … I’m sorry, but I didn’t know. Do you have a number I can reach him on? I need to speak to him urgently.”
“Shame it wasn’t so urgent when you hurt him so much six months ago. Goodbye, Lily.”
“Please, Mrs Campbell.” I look up at the ceiling.
“What could you possibly want after all this time?”
“My mother … my mother has been keeping me prisoner. I just got out.” This whole thing must sound like an insane excuse, but what else is there to say?
“How stupid do you think I am?” the other woman hisses.
“Please, Mrs Campbell. I’m pregnant and alone.” Tears roll down my cheeks. “I need Adam. They’re putting me on a nutrient drip to try to save the baby, get him big enough so he can be born.”
“I suggest you get the father of the baby to help then. You’ve done enough damage to my family.”
“How heartless can you be?” I scream into the phone. “This is Adam’s baby.” I slam the receiver down and look up, spotting Joseph in the doorway.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I just tried to call the baby’s father.”
“Oh? Does he know what happened?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. His mother said he doesn’t live there anymore. She thinks I’m lying about everything. I missed my wedding day because of this, and Adam must think I’m the most heartless bitch that ever lived.”
Joseph places his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure we can find a way to get through to her, make her understand what happened. Now the arrest has been made, it’s likely to make the newspapers.”
I grimace. The thought that all of Copper Creek will know just how crazy my mother has acted doesn’t sit well with me. As it was, the kids at school had teased me for years, ‘Crazy Parker’ they called her, not bothering to laugh behind my back.
“Do you have any family to stay with, Lily? I mean, you’ll be in hospital for some time to come, but someone who can help you with the baby?”
I shake my head. “No. My dad bailed years ago—I wouldn’t have a clue where to find him. It’s been me and Mum for as long as I can remember. I don’t really want to go back to the house.”
Joseph frowns. “I don’t really want to tell you this, but there’s no house to go back to.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your mother stopped paying the mortgage at some point, possibly even before she did this to you. The bank has control of the property. They’re trying to sell it.”
The sick feelin
g in my stomach grows. I might not want to live in the house, but my mother has just lost her only asset. I’m not even sure if there’ll be any money left after the sale.
What the hell am I going to do?
23
Lily
Now
I fought to get rid of the dreams.
With Adam back, I sleep a lot better. I’ve had a month of peaceful nights for the most part. But when the dreams come back, they’re more vicious than ever, reminding me of a time I’ve tried so hard to forget. As my life comes together, my dreams leave me falling apart.
I wake, unable to breathe, and I claw at the air to get release. Panting, I sit up, clutching the sheets to my chest. Beside me, Adam sleeps peacefully, and I envy him the sleep he enjoys.
Gazing at him is calming, knowing he loves me as much as I love him. I spent so long wishing I could stop my feelings, but despite thinking he’d walked away and never looked back, part of me always wanted him to return. For so long I wished he’d come and rescue me. I guess I finally got my wish.
There are nights when he doesn’t sleep in peace. When he seems to be disturbed, waking and wanting me with desperate need. I respond as we take what we need from each other.
Afterward he holds me tight, as if terrified to let go, and I cling to him just as fiercely. Part of me believes if I close my eyes, even for a second, he’ll turn out to be a dream and disappear into the night, never to be seen again.
He will at some point. The army won’t let him stay away forever.
“Lily?” Adam stirs, his eyes opening a notch. He raises his arm, pulling me back into bed. “It gets cold without you,” he mumbles.
I smile as he drifts off to sleep and stroke his face before closing my eyes again. He seems reluctant to let go of me even for a moment. Maybe he shares my fear. I think he needs me as much as I need him.
In the morning I wake to gentle kisses, enveloped in his strong arms. This is what I want every day.
“Hmmm,” I nuzzle his chest.
“I love waking up with you,” he murmurs.
These kisses are sweet; the passionate ones happen in the night. Most of the time our mornings are G-rated, just in case Max walks in. He hasn’t jumped into my bed at night since Adam arrived, nor have we had night visits from Eric.
My life, especially during the day is infinitely more peaceful with Adam back in it.
“We should get up. Max will want breakfast, and I could do with something to eat.”
Despite my protests, Adam took us to get groceries and filled the freezer. We’ve never had so much choice. I’m still cautious, still scared that this will all end in an instant and we’ll be back to where we were. He tells me off for not eating enough, but it’s habit. I still have my son to support.
Our son.
“I might let you get out of bed.” He kisses my cheek and I linger a little longer before pulling away and getting out of bed. I open the drawer, pulling on a bra and slipping a T-shirt over my head while he whistles. “If only I could keep you naked all day.”
“Unfortunately, there are things to do. The shearing’s underway. Eric will take care of it, but I want to check in to make sure everything’s okay.”
Adam sits up and grabs a shirt from his bag beside the bed, tugging it on as I pull on my jeans. “I hate Eric doing this shit for you.”
I shrug. “He gets a better price if we do both flocks at once. He benefits from this too.”
Adam stands and walks to the window, pulling the curtains back. Sunlight floods the room.
“It’s such a gorgeous day out there. Does Max play sport?” he asks, taking in the view. Not that it’s that exciting—the dusty brown yard, with green paddocks behind it.
“A little. He loves anything where he gets to run around.”
“I’ll have to get Max a baseball mitt.”
“He already plays softball at school.”
Adam turns and rolls his eyes at me.
“Isn’t it basically the same thing?” I ask, walking toward him.
I squeal as Adam leaps at me, pushing me backward and pinning me to the bed. “Do you really want to discuss all the differences?”
“Not really.” I laugh. “I’ll bow to your superior knowledge. But just so you know, kids still play rugby here.”
Adam drops his head and nips at my neck. I sigh, my body stirring. Hell, all he has to do is look at me for that to happen. All the feelings I’ve suppressed for so long have been woken. I’d missed the days in my early twenties when other women my age were going out, having fun, and falling in love. Instead, I’d brought up Max, struggling with a special needs child, and all of a sudden I was thirty. Now, I’m enjoying making up for lost time.
“I don’t care what Max plays,” I whisper, “as long as I get to play with you.”
Adam’s eyes are full of mischief as he raises his head, and my heart leaps at the love written all over his face. “Always.”
After breakfast, we all head out toward the sheep. Eric’s already there, rounding them up to take them to be sheared. He usually gets mine sorted out before his. He has more sheep than I do, and the quicker mine are done, the quicker I can sell the wool. He’s taken care of me in his own way.
“Lily, Adam.” He greets us with a nod. Max giggles as his favourite sheep dog, Happy, nearly bowls him over, she’s so excited to see him. He sits on the ground as the dog licks his face, wrapping his arms around her neck.
“Have you got a friend, Max?” Adam asks.
“This is Happy.” He grins up at Adam.
“Happy? That’s a weird name for a dog.” Adam squats and pats the Border Collie on her head. “Hi, Happy.”
“Max named her when she was a puppy,” Eric says.
I don’t miss the expression on Adam’s face at that news. He knew I’d been here since Max was a baby and had had a lot to do with Eric. The news his son even named Eric’s dog doesn’t sit well with him, but he’ll just have to deal with it.
“It’s a great name then.” The smile returns.
“How are things going?” I ask Eric.
“Good. We’re on track to get your sheep done before lunch.”
“Brilliant.”
Eric turns to Max. “Sorry, bud. Happy’s got to get back to work now.”
Max pouts, but stands and lets Happy go.
“I’ll bring her to see you again soon.” Turning back toward the sheep, Eric whistles for the dog. Happy barks at Max, then runs toward the sheep with her master.
Adam wraps his arms around Max. “That’s a pretty cool dog.”
“I’m not allowed one.” Max’s tone tells a story of resentment. Eric had meant for Happy to be Max’s dog, but I couldn’t take in another mouth to feed. She’d become Eric’s best sheep dog, and there wasn’t much chance of Happy coming to live with us now.
Adam meets my gaze. “One day, bud.”
I stiffen. He can’t make Max promises he can’t keep. My trust in him is building, but I’m not completely there yet.
“Go home, Lily. We’ve got this.” Eric says.
“Thanks.”
Eric shoots me a smile that doesn’t get past Adam, and I see the question in his eyes when he looks at me.
“We’ll see you later, then.” I nod at Eric.
We turn back toward the house. Adam links his fingers in mine and raises my hand to his lips to kiss. That brings a grin to my face. He used to do that back when we were love-struck teenagers.
“What else can we do today?” Max asks.
“We could go for a drive to the cove. I never did quite get there,” Adam says.
“It’s so awesome there. Maybe we can go for a swim.” Max skips as he walks beside us.
“I don’t know. It might be sunny, but it’s not exactly warm,” I say, reaching to run my fingers through Max’s hair.
“Maybe we could grab our swimming things just in case. I’ve got a pair of shorts I can use, so if Max is up for it …” Adam grins.
“Can we take Happy?”
I sigh. Now he’s seem him, Max will spend the next few hours talking about it. Maybe swimming would be a distraction.
“Happy has to work. How about you put your swimming togs on under your clothes just in case it’s warm enough to swim.”
That satisfies him, and he bounces along beside us.
I only hope it’s enough to distract Adam from questions about Eric.
It’s busy at the cove. With the weather warming up, people come down here for a swim all the time. The small shop cashes in when it’s busy, and there’s a queue for ice cream. It always amazes me the place is still here, but these days must make up for the slower ones.
Adam’s car rumbles down the road as we look for a parking spot, and Max spots a gap first, bouncing in the back seat and pointing at it.
Max taps on my window. “Mum, there’s Karl.”
My heart sinks to see Sasha with her son a short distance from where we’re parking. They’re walking toward the water. For Max, what happened before is like water off a duck’s back. He never holds a grudge against anyone except Eric.
“Adam,” I murmur.
“I saw.”
His tone is terse, and I look at him to avoid seeing Sasha and Karl as we pull into the park. Adam’s hand lands on mine and pulls my fingers to the gear stick. He squeezes them slightly, and I turn my head to see him smile at me.
“Can we get an ice cream?” Max asks.
“Are you kidding? Did you see the size of that queue?” Adam asks.
I laugh. “We have ice cream at home.”
“It’s not the same.” Max pouts.
“Pretty sure it is. We’ll have some ice cream when we get back. Let’s just go down for a walk and see how cold the water is.” I grab my bag and the towels from the back seat of the car. Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I lay the towels over it.
Turning toward the water, Adam loops his arm around my waist, and I lean my head on his shoulder.
“Sorry if I sounded grumpy. I didn’t want to have to actually talk to Sasha. That woman gets up my nose.”
“She’s good at that.”
I gaze up at him as he pecks me on the lips.