by Wendy Smith
I narrow my eyes at him. “You propositioned her?”
“Not like that.” He screws up his face. “I told her if she needed someone I’d be happy to take on her and Max. I didn’t expect any great romance or anything. Even when you were apart, she was yours. But that lady of yours is way too independent.”
I chuckle. “That she is. Though I’ve worn her down. Even convinced her to spend a little money on herself yesterday.”
Corey nods thoughtfully. “That’s good. It’s Drew you have to watch out for—he’s the one who flirts.”
Although I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I know enough to know that Corey is screwing with me. The twinkle in his eyes gives him away.
I look forward to spending more time getting to know all my brothers again.
32
Lily
Our first night in our new home.
It took most of the day to get in here. I don’t have a lot, but using Corey’s ute and a trailer we borrowed from Jack Kirby, we got everything moved.
When I say we, it was mostly Adam and his brothers doing all the lifting. Empty boxes sourced from the local supermarket were scattered around the house, and Max and I started packing. Our whole life together went in those boxes.
We never had a lot of material things, but Max and I had each other. That got me through the hard times, and now hopefully there will only be good.
Box after box goes in the car and the ute.
With the house empty, I stand in the entranceway looking up the stairs. The memories are overwhelming. Max learning to crawl, his first steps, all the times I’d hear him running down the stairs despite me telling him not to. This has been our home.
“You alright?” Adam places his hands on my shoulders and kisses my hair.
“Just remembering. Max and I have done so much in this house.”
Adam’s warm arms slide around my waist, and I tilt my head as he rests his head on my shoulder. “We’ll make new memories now. The three of us.”
“I know, it’s just …” Tears well up that I can’t explain. I had been made welcome to this house, made it my own, and never felt obligated when Mrs Murphy was alive. Part of me looks forward to handing it back to Eric, his mother’s will fulfilled, but the rest of me will miss the old place.
“It’s okay. I’m pretty sure it’s normal to miss somewhere you’ve lived in for so long. Do you want to take the keys to Eric, or do you want me to?”
I lean back. Adam’s arms around me don’t just signal his love. They’re my support when I’m adrift. The new house is everything I want, but it’s hard not to waver when I’m firewalling my solidity for the past twelve years.
His lips brush my neck, and I close my eyes.
“I’ll do it. It’s only right, given the way I moved in here.”
He squeezes me around the waist before letting go, and I turn to smile at him. Adam nods as he scans my face. I think he’s just checking that my expression matches my words. I’m calmer than I thought I’d be now.
“Well, I’ll take Max and the last load over to the house and meet you there. Owen was in the kitchen when I left, unpacking your things and putting them away. I think he was planning on making pizza for dinner.”
I nod. “That sounds amazing.”
Adam pecks me on the cheek and leaves me in the entranceway, closing the front door behind him. I take a further moment to look around and as I hear him drive away, I open the door, looking out into the yard. I’ll miss my garden, but there’s plenty of room at the new place for one.
Time to move on.
I’ve travelled the road and turned up Eric’s driveway more times than I can count over the years, but this is the last time. I can’t see us having any reason to visit him again.
He’s sat out on his deck when I get there, and he stands as I get out of the car and toward the house.
“Sit for a minute?” he asks as I mount the steps.
I nod. “I can’t be too long.” Licking my lips I say the words that mean so much. “My family’s waiting for me.”
He’s always been one for trying to analyse situations, and he stares at me for what feels like the longest time but in reality is probably about thirty seconds. “I won’t keep you. Just wanted to tell you how much I’ll miss you.”
I can’t return what he’s just said. We have been friends, off and on, but it was hard to stay friendly with someone who didn’t respect boundaries. Eventually, I settle on the truth. “It’s going to be weird. For a while at least.”
“If you ever need the house again, it’s yours.”
I meet his gaze. He’s giving me a backup plan in case things don’t work out with Adam. I’m grateful, but nothing is going to keep us apart again. “Thanks. I do appreciate it.”
Eric lets out a sigh. “I thought for the longest time that we might just end up together. I’ll always be sorry it didn’t happen.”
“Can I be honest?”
His lips curl. “I’ve never stopped you before.”
“Nothing was ever going to separate me from Max. That’s all it boiled down to. I wanted someone who would put us first.”
He swallows hard. “I understand.”
“Do you? You deserve happiness as much as I do. Find someone special and stop being a zombie.” I can’t help the smile on my face.
He frowns, his pale eyebrows knitting together. “A zombie?” Snorting, he shakes his head and laughs. “Let me guess. It’s a Maxism.”
“Yeah, it is. No matter what, he’s the most important guy in my life. I think sometimes you men forget that.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “Us men? Are you talking about …”
“Yes, I’m talking about Adam. He has to understand that, too. He’s the love of my life, but what I have with Max is a bond no one will ever break. Even unintentionally.”
Eric nods, and I bend to kiss him on the cheek. He turns his head at the last moment, planting a kiss on my lips.
“Gotcha.” He gives me a crooked smile, and I roll my eyes in return.
“Nope.”
“Don’t you dare tell Adam I did that.”
I laugh as I turn away. “I’m not keeping anything from him. Just be aware of that.”
“Are you sure he’s not keeping anything from you?”
I stop and turn back. “What do you mean?”
“He was gone a long time. Man has to have his secrets.” Eric’s gaze penetrates me as I stand there. I can’t let him see that his suggestion has knocked me.
Listening to Eric only creates doubt and doubt kills love. “If there was anything bad in his past, he’d have told me.”
Eric nods, scrutinising my reaction closely. “Okay. I’m always here if you need anything.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Hell will freeze over before I ask Eric Murphy for a single thing. Ever.
Later that night, with Max settled and asleep, Adam and I christen our new bed. We’ve had nights in my bed, but this is different. It’s brand new and ours.
“Happy?” Adam holds me in his arms, his right hand stroking my left breast as we lay curled up together under the crisp lemon sheets. He’s with me and all is right with the world.
I sigh with contentment, smiling with what must be a hazy look in my eyes. Nothing compares to the freedom of being with Adam in this way, knowing nothing else can rip us apart. We’re together and solid.
“I’ll take that as a yes?” He grins.
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
He traces his finger down between my breasts and over my stomach. The past few weeks I’ve been healthier than I have been in years, and I’ve even filled out a little. We don’t have a huge budget, and things will be tight for a while, but being here and having a view to the future makes it a million times better than it was in the old house. Once Adam gets the business going, things will be even better.
“Do you miss the army?” I whisper, a little afraid of his response.
Hi
s fingers stop, and he taps my skin as he smiles, spreading his palm on my belly.
“I miss my friends. Some of us were together for a while. We were brothers.” He slides his hand down my thigh. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else but here now, though.”
“I’m so glad you came back.”
He grins and leans over to press his lips to mine, his love radiating through his kiss. His unending affection makes me melt. It’s been so long since I’ve been so loved, and now I’m enveloped in it all of the time.
“So am I. Maybe we can’t get back the time we missed out on, but we can sure as hell make new memories.”
We lie in silence for a few moments, comfortable in one another’s company.
“Eric tried to stir one last time today,” I say. I want my earlier words to mean something. There’s nothing I want to keep from Adam.
“He’s just pissed I got the girl.” Adam laughs, nuzzling my temple.
“He wanted me to doubt you. But I can’t do that. I need to be able to trust you, and you to trust me.”
Adam raises his head. “Lily, if you have any doubts …”
The expression on his face tells me everything. Maybe there are things he’s done while he was away, but that was in the past. This is our new start.
“No doubts.”
His eyes light up.
“Unless you have a wife and other family tucked away somewhere.”
He chuckles. “No wife.” When he licks his lips slowly, fear sets in. He looks as if he’s about to tell me something big. “There was someone. She put up with me, helped me through the hard shit when I first got out of the army. But you were always it for me. Didn’t matter what had happened, how long I’d been gone. It wasn’t fair on her. So when it got really serious, I broke up with her.”
My heart thuds. I can’t help the jealousy that swells inside, but he chose me. Even when he hadn’t seen me in so long, even when he didn’t know if I’d moved on.
I fling my arms around his neck and hold on tight.
He chose me.
33
Adam
The garage is close to opening. James has done a hell of a lot of work to help me out tidying the building up and making it my own. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited in my life.
Word is already spreading. I got a call this morning from a farmer needing help with a tractor. It’s in the middle of nowhere, but I’m itching to get my hands on anything mechanical. It’s been far too long.
It doesn’t take much to get it running again.
“Coffee?” he asks.
“Sounds good.”
We walk toward the big farmhouse. As we approach, a litter of puppies come tumbling out from where they’ve been eating. I laugh as we’re surrounded.
“Look at you lot.” I grin.
“They’re ready to go to new homes. Interested?”
I think of Max and the way he’d acted around Eric’s dog. The one he’d named. “Sure am. How much are they?”
“About the same as the repairs you’re doing for me.”
I chuckle. “What a coincidence. I’ve got a boy who would love me forever if I got one. Not sure about his mother.”
“Pick which one you want. They’ll end up on farms around here otherwise. I’m sure one of them will be well loved with you.”
I grin and look them over. They’re full of life and excited, panting and seeking attention. Except for one of them. He stands a little off to the side.
“That one’s a bit more reserved. I think it’ll take a special kinda owner for him.”
There’s only one puppy I can choose.
I head back to the house with the puppy in the back seat of the car. He lies down like he’s told.
“If you’re going to be this good, we’re gonna get along fine. Although we might both have to sleep in the car for a while.”
Lily is going to kill me. Without discussion, I just did something that will bring a smile to her face. Eventually.
Max is going to go nuts.
I slow down along the driveway beside the garage. The section is fully fenced now, the result of a weekend of my brothers and I working together. The gate’s open though, and I pull up into the backyard before getting out to make sure it’s closed.
Flying out the door is Max. Nothing gets past him, and he never fails to greet me when I come home.
“Dad,” he calls, flinging his arms around my waist.
“Hey, bud. I’ve got a surprise. Where’s your mother?”
Max turns back toward the house. “Mum,” he yells for all he’s worth.
Lily appears in the doorway. She looks so full of life now, healthy. Better than she’s probably done in a long time.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
“Dad’s got a surprise,” Max shrieks.
“Is that right?” Her eyebrows raise in suspicion.
“That’s right. You have to promise not to kill me.”
She walks across the deck and down the steps toward the car. “What have you done?”
I take a step back to the rear door of the car and open it up. When I click my fingers, the puppy looks up and trots across the back seat, jumping out the door and onto the concrete pad.
Max’s eyes widen. “What’s that?”
“An elephant.” I deadpan.
He grins. “Don’t be silly. It’s a puppy.”
I shift my gaze to Lily. She’s shaking her head, but at least she’s smiling. It’s better than I hoped for. “It is. What do you think his name is?”
“What?” Max asks.
“Whatever you want it to be.”
He laughs. “Can we name him Happy?”
“Another one?” I close the car door and kneel beside the dog. It’s like it’s meant to be as he licks my hand and jumps up, his front paws resting on my chest. “Hey, boy.” I pat him on the back.
“How about Lucky?” Max asks.
“I think that’s a much better name. Because we’re lucky to have him?”
He nods. “And I’m lucky. I have my dad now.”
I look up, and Lily looks away. These moments still hit her right in the heart. I see it. “You do. And you have a puppy.”
Max gets down on his knees, and the puppy drops and turns toward him. These two are meant to be and Max giggles, the puppy licking his face.
“He needs to learn to behave, and we all need to teach him. But I think you two are a pretty good team.” I stand and Lily strides toward us, taking my hand in hers.
“Thank you,” she says quietly, pecking me on the cheek and resting her head on my shoulder.
“I thought you’d be mad.”
“Max was so angry with me when I told him we couldn’t keep Happy. Now at least we can afford to have a pet.”
“As soon as I saw him, I just knew.”
Our boy laughs as he hugs the dog, and I wrap my arms around my girl as we watch them bond. She sighs a contented sigh and buries her face in my chest.
I kiss the top of her head. “You okay?”
“I just love watching him. This could be the best thing for Max.”
“Until he has siblings.”
She raises her face to look at me. “Is that still part of your plan?”
I shrug. “Maybe. If that’s what you want too.”
A smile lights up her face, and I think I have my answer.
Lily’s not going to kill me.
In the evening, our new family member is settled in. Lily went down the road and got a bowl and food for him. Sure it’s another mouth for us to feed, and while we grow our business things might be a bit tight, but Max and Lucky are already the best of friends.
It’s dark early, and I stand on the back deck looking at our little empire. It feels as if I’ve been back such a short time, but I have everything I’ve ever needed.
“What are you doing out here, Dad?” Max comes through the door and stands beside me. When I’m home he’s my shadow, and I love spending time with him, maki
ng up for the years when I wasn’t here. I wish I’d had the chance to hold him as a baby, to clean up his scraped knees, to carry him around on my shoulders. But I didn’t, so now I’ve become friends with my son.
I gaze down at the face looking up at me, eager for answers. “Looking at the stars. The night seems even darker in the country.”
“The trees are scary.”
I look down at him. “Why’s that?”
“They’re so big and dark.”
Turning my head toward the house, I can see through the kitchen and into the living room. The dog sits at Lily’s feet. He’s already worked out who sorts his food.
“How about we go and take a look? I’ll show you there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Max shakes his head.
“Come on, Max.” I hold out my hand, and though I can see his reluctance, he takes it, and we make tentative steps toward the bush.
The moon hangs big in the sky, illuminating where we’re going, but Max clings tight to me. It’s so gorgeous out here, and we brush against the ferns as we walk. There’s no path, but there are small gaps between the plants. Enough for us to make our way through.
We come to a small clearing. It’s so quiet and peaceful. The cry of an owl breaks through the near silence and I smile.
“Do you hear the owl, Max?” I ask, resting my hand on Max’s shoulders, crouching beside him.
My boy nods with eyes as big as saucers, staring up at the trees.
“I bet he’s hunting. They like little animals like bugs and mice.”
“Mum doesn’t like bugs and mice,” Max whispers.
“I bet that Morepork does. Do you know why he’s called that?”
Max shakes his head, inching closer to me as the owl calls again.
“Listen to his call. That’s what he’s asking for. Or at least that’s what it sounds like.”
Over and over again the bird calls, and Max slowly snakes his arm around my neck. He stares hard at the trees, clinging to me.
“Love you, Max,” I whisper.
“Love you too, Dad.”
My heart feels as if it’s about to explode, love overwhelming me. All the years I was away, I felt empty, like something was missing. Now I’ve found that something, and I bury my head in Max’s chest, holding him close.