by Mari Carr
So she pretended she was fine, told herself she wasn’t falling under Kellan’s spell. Maybe if she repeated that mantra enough, she’d convince herself it was true.
Kellan’s lips ventured away from hers, scorching a trail along her neck and down to her chest. She hissed when he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. Kellan didn’t even attempt to restrain himself or take it easy on her.
She moved slightly, her body shifting into overdrive. Her brain disengaged in moments like this, and she existed only on sensation. On doing whatever it took to grab more. More pleasure, more pain, more friction. More everything.
When he traveled lower, his tongue caressing her stomach, she was transported to that place he’d shown her last night. She was weightless in this realm, floating, flying.
Kellan nipped her clit. Her hands flew to his head, her fingers threading through his thick, dark hair. It felt good to be able to touch him.
While she’d enjoyed his bondage more than she could say, there was something very satisfying about being able to participate, to tighten her grip on his hair until he…
There it was. That sexy grunt that told her he liked it rough.
He’d just lifted his head, clearly ready for more when her stomach growled. Loudly.
Yeah. That was totally sexy.
“Sorry,” she murmured. “I’m sort of starving.”
“That’s my fault. I’m not being a very good host, am I? Whisked you away for the weekend, and now I keep forgetting to feed you.”
She shrugged. “That’s not really why we’re here, is it? You never promised me a feast.”
Sara tried to understand his sudden frown. He’d laid out the rules for the weekend very plainly, and she was working overtime to get a handle on her emotions. Something that was becoming increasingly difficult as more and more layers of Kellan James were peeled away, revealing a man who was not only intelligent, cocky, and witty, but sweet and romantic.
“Maybe not. But you deserve to be wined and dined.”
She tilted her head, waiting for him to finish the joke. There had to be a punch line after that. Sadly, there wasn’t.
And there goes that little piece of my heart.
Then, even more surprisingly, he sat up. “Rain check on this?”
“Wait. What?”
“I’m hungry, too.”
He was okay with just stopping? She nodded slowly. “Are you sure?”
“I do possess some self-control, Scrubs.” Kellan laughed as he rose from the bed, offering a hand to help her up as well. “Come on. I promised you steak on the grill.”
…
Dinner was a low-key, relaxing affair. Sara was struck by how easy it was for them to change gears, moving from ravenous, can’t-get-enough lovers to casual, comfortable friends without missing a beat.
In some ways, she wasn’t sure she recognized this woman she was turning into—this wild, unrestrained, sexually adventurous person who fucked her boss-slash-friend just for the hell of it, with no thought to the future.
What had happened to Sara Connelly, the respectable, hard-working nurse who’d never indulged in much more than missionary with a long-term boyfriend, while planning their wedding and picking out the names of their kids.
And what made matters worse was she wasn’t sure she could return to ho-hum Sara. There was a lot to be said for live-in-the-moment Sara’s life.
Her attraction to Kellan was starting to get out of hand. Growing up together had left her somewhat blind to his handsomeness. Well, maybe not blind. She’d always known he was good-looking, and had listened to more than a few female friends and colleagues remark about his hotness factor, but she’d been immune to it. She’d spent a lifetime looking at the man and never experienced anything more than a lukewarm “it’s just Kellan” response. Tonight, as he sat across from her, polishing off his steak, he had never looked sexier. Damn him.
Meanwhile, she’d tumbled out of his bed, tossed on the same oversize T-shirt she’d been attempting to keep on all weekend. She’d run her fingers through her hair, calling it good enough, and she hadn’t put makeup on since getting ready for her date on Friday. With the exception of some lipstick in her purse, the rest of her cosmetics were in her bathroom at home.
She was fairly sure her au naturel didn’t look anywhere near as hot as Kellan’s.
Once they’d cleaned up the dishes, they opened a second bottle of wine and each claimed a lounger by the pool.
She felt almost lethargic as she sipped her wine, and Kellan looked equally relaxed in the chair next to her. The sun had begun to set, evening ready to make an appearance.
“I may have to look into investing in a grill. Those steaks were great.”
“I’m surprised you don’t already have one, considering how much you love to cook.”
She lifted one shoulder casually. “I have zero grilling experience. I’ve always assumed I’d just burn everything to a crisp.”
“Speaking of burns…” He reached out to run a finger over her shoulder. “You got a bit of color today. I have some aloe inside if you want it.”
She looked at her arms. They were slightly pink, but she wasn’t sunburned. “No. It’s okay. Besides, let’s face it. I have two colors, milk white and lobster red. I’d love to be able to get a nice dark tan like yours, but my skin doesn’t play that way.”
“That’s not true. You get a light tan, along with those freckles, every summer. It’s cute.”
He notices my freckles?
“And the rest of the year, you’re porcelain. Like a China doll. It suits you.”
Kellan didn’t seem able to refrain from paying her compliments. Given the teasing nature of their friendship, it was hard to get used to.
It was messing with her head. And her heart.
“Probably the reason why I never took any job that required me to be outdoors. There’s not a lot of sun in the ER.”
“I could give you a better paying indoor job if you’d apply for the Chief Nursing Officer position.”
“Don’t start that again. I’ve told you a million times. I’m very happy where I am.”
“Come to the dark side with me, Sara. You’d make an amazing administrator.”
“I have a happy buzz going thanks to this wine. Don’t screw it up for me.”
He chuckled. “You knew a conversation about work was bound to come up at some point this weekend.”
She took a sip of her wine, sighing heavily. “Yeah. I think we’re both more tied to our jobs than is healthy.”
Kellan liked to play it cool when it came to his role as a hospital administrator, but she saw the long hours he put in. Unfortunately, his job as CEO often put him in the enemy camp. She wasn’t sure how he could know so many of the medical personnel saw him as the bad guy and not let it affect his willingness to work his ass off for them.
“Put me out of my misery, Scrubs. Take the damn job. Nobody else is as qualified as you.”
“Nope. Besides, whether you realize it or not, you need me in the emergency room. We’ve lost some great nurses lately. Turnovers are high. I don’t want to contribute to that.”
“Yeah. I know. But I struggle to see what it is about the ER that keeps you there. Seems like pretty thankless work. I’m offering you a substantial raise here.”
She sat up, deciding now might be the perfect opportunity for her to present her case about the emergency room. After all, they were pleasantly full, sexually sated, and sufficiently tipsy. They’d had numerous arguments in the past about her department and what he perceived as a lack of efficiency. Maybe tonight he’d really listen to her side.
“I’m a nurse, Kellan. Helping people is never a thankless job. But I’m not going to lie, that job is made a million times harder by a bunch of bullshit bureaucracy.”
“Say that five times real fast,” he joked. “Bunch of bullshit bureaucracy. Bunch of bullshit bureaucracy.”
She laughed before she could stop herself. Then she put them bac
k on track. “I’m not kidding.”
His smile faded into a grimace. “Do we really have to do this tonight?”
“You started it.”
He lifted his hand, a gesture of surrender. “I guess I did.”
“Five minutes.”
He pretended to glance at a watch he wasn’t wearing. Neither of them was wearing much, actually. He’d donned a pair of shorts, and she was sporting his soft cotton T-shirt. It was emblazoned with the New England Patriots’ logo.
“We’re losing nurses because the job is almost impossible to do with any sort of humanity. We’ve doubled the number of rooms in the ER in the past five years, and with those damn times you keep imposing on us, it’s hard for us to keep up. I became a nurse because I like people, like talking to them and taking the time to find out what’s wrong. The patients are in pain and afraid. Sometimes what they need as much as medicine is reassurance that they’re going to be okay.”
“This is standard Nursing 101, Scrubs.”
She felt that annoyance that always twinged whenever she and Kellan talked about work. “I can’t do my job when I’m watching the clock. Lately I feel more like a member of a NASCAR pit crew than a nurse. It used to be when one of my colleagues took a job in another department I’d ask her why she was leaving. Nowadays, I congratulate her for hanging in there so long.”
Kellan sat up as well, facing her. “I get that, Sara. I really do. But you have to understand you aren’t the only one feeling the pressure of the shift in the medical system. I’m under similar constraints from the Board of Directors. We need to start looking at ways to streamline, to increase the output. The system of supply and demand is one of the most fundamental concepts in economics.”
It was an argument she’d heard too many times before. “Hospitals don’t exist simply to hit a bottom line. It’s not a factory or a numbers game. It’s about caring for people who are sick.”
Kellan set his wineglass on the ground and then took hers, placing it next to his before he rose. “And without that bottom line, the hospital would be forced to close its doors. And the sick would have nowhere to go.”
Her lips curved up. “So it’s the old chicken-egg scenario. Which is more important?”
Kellan took her hands and pulled her from the lounge chair. She stepped into his arms without hesitation. She loved the way she felt so completely surrounded—safe—when she was wrapped up in his embrace.
“Something like that,” he murmured. “I say it’s the egg.”
“I say it’s the chicken.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to talk shop tonight.”
She didn’t either. Not really. After all, it was a path they’d traveled countless times before. And they always ended up at the same impasse.
Ordinarily after one of their workplace debates, they’d go their separate ways and she’d stew over it for a few days. When he took her in his arms, the familiar animosity vanished instantly. Once again she was surprised by how well they seemed able to put their many-faceted relationship—colleagues, friends, lovers—into such distinct boxes.
“How about a movie?”
She was slightly surprised by his offer. They’d spent most of the day wrapped around each other, and she figured he’d be ready to ring the bell on round eighteen in the bedroom.
A movie sounded very…platonic. And nice. “I’d like that. Star Wars?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Depends on which one.”
“The first one they made that is technically the fourth in the series. Because I can’t stand any of those Anakin ones. You know, only George Lucas could get away with that confusing shit.”
“A New Hope. That’s the best one.” He took her hand and led her to the living room. Then he escaped down the hall for a moment as she found a blanket for them to cuddle under.
When he returned, she spotted the strip of condoms in his hand, and she laughed.
“Five?” she asked. “Bit ambitious, even for you, isn’t it?”
He tossed the condoms on the coffee table. “You’ve taught me the error of my ways this weekend. I’m going to start stocking condoms in every room.”
Grabbing the remote, he claimed the corner spot on the sectional, found the movie, and then reached for her. She curled up in his arms, her head resting on his chest as he absent-mindedly stroked her back.
Sara considered everything the two of them had done since waking up, and realized that cuddling with Kellan on the couch as they watched their favorite movie was probably the best part of the day for her. And that was saying something, since it was shaping up to be one of the best days of her life.
“Did you know the word Ewok was never spoken in the original trilogy? Only reason we know the name of the species is because of the credits,” Kellan said.
“Seriously?”
“Yep. And Burt Reynolds was one of the contenders to play Han Solo.”
She crinkled her nose. “That would not have worked. Did you know George Lucas originally planned to kill Han Solo at the end of Return of the Jedi?”
They talked quietly, continuing to share trivial facts about the movie and discussing how closely the new one mirrored the first.
Then, out of the blue, Kellan cupped her cheeks and kissed her. It was clear he meant for the touch to be brief, but it felt too good, so she wrapped her hands around his neck and held on. Kellan kissed really, really good.
His tongue touched hers, and he turned them slowly, putting her on her back as he came over her. Their bodies lined up perfectly on the sectional, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. He was hard, a state she was beginning to think was permanent for him.
The night before, the clever man had found the tiny erogenous zone that existed just below her ear, and he used that knowledge against her, his warm kisses sending shivers down her spine.
His eyes met hers. Typically, they were dark, hungry, intense. Tonight, there was something else there, something harder to name. He was looking at her as if she was special. It took her breath away.
“Kellan,” she whispered, her chest tight—a mixture of fear and that emotion she didn’t dare call by its name.
He tugged the T-shirt over her head, and then he gently sucked on her nipples as she ran her fingers through his thick hair.
She stroked his chest as he shrugged off his shorts and put on the condom.
Then, mercifully, Kellan found a way to take away some of the intensity, adopting the voice of one of the characters from the movie. “You just watch yourself. I’m a wanted man on twelve systems.”
Sara laughed, even as he pushed inside her. Once he was pressed to the hilt, he paused.
“The Force is strong in this one,” she added.
“And don’t you forget it.”
They chuckled at their game, but rather than move, he bent his head to kiss her. Sweet, warm, gentle kisses. Every other time they’d come together, it had been sex. There had been no mistaking that.
This time was different. It was fun and playful. And while it was less intense than the previous times, it felt more serious.
The movie still played, the orchestra soundtrack and lightsabers clashing adding to the romantic ambiance. Everything about this moment fit. It worked.
He slowly lifted his hips and set a slow, easy pace. Typically, she got lost in the quick, overwhelming bursts of pleasure produced when he took her hard and fast. This time was no less potent. She trembled with every nuance, every touch, every sensation as it blossomed. She gripped his shoulders, shocked by how quickly he’d driven her to the peak, the point of no return.
“I can’t—”
“Shhh,” he soothed her. “Let go, Sara. It’s okay. I’m there, too.”
His words were as deadly as his kisses. Her back arched off the couch as she gave in to the orgasm. They came together, their bodies straining to remain connected even after the tremors had subsided.
Kellan made no move to leave her body. Instead, he showered her with more of
those beautiful kisses.
Sara wasn’t sure what to say. What to think. It was one of the most beautiful, special, amazing moments of her life. And her heart ached.
“I—” Kellan began. He stopped short, his face just inches from hers, his eyes serious.
Love you.
He didn’t say that. Sara wasn’t even sure if that was what he intended to say. But she filled in the silence that followed with those words. Because they were what she wanted to hear.
God help me.
Whatever he’d planned to say, never came. With a sweet smile, he pushed away, falling to her side and pulling her against his chest once more as the movie credits rolled and the strains of the orchestra playing the Star Wars soundtrack filled the room.
“Score one for the rebellion,” he joked several minutes later as he turned the TV off. It was clear neither of them intended to say anything more, and they definitely weren’t moving to the bedroom any time soon.
She closed her eyes and lay there in silence, listening as his breathing slowed to that of a man in a deep sleep, Han Solo’s voice echoing in her head.
I’ve got a very bad feeling about this.
Chapter Five
Kellan squinted against the light streaming in through his window, Monday coming way too early. He’d forgotten to pull the curtains closed last night. He glanced at his clock, jerking awake when he realized it was nearly eight o’clock. He and Sara had overslept. He’d promised to drive her back to Score to retrieve her car.
The original plan had been for him to return her to her car last night, but he’d convinced her to give him one more night. Not that she’d been very hard to convince. He had simply slid down her body, sucked her clit into his mouth, and told her she was staying.
She’d yelled out her agreement, then come. Hard.
It was no wonder they’d slept late.
What a weekend.
Turning, he was surprised to find the bed empty. He rose, grimacing slightly at his hard-on. They didn’t have time for a quickie before work, but apparently his dick hadn’t gotten that message.
He padded to the bathroom, but Sara wasn’t there, either. As he traveled through the hallway to the kitchen, he realized he wouldn’t find her in the house. It was too quiet. Too still. And he missed her instantly.