by Jamie Craig
And nobody blinked. Nobody chastised. Nobody said, “There’s a time and place for that, and this isn’t it.” Gena didn’t know what to think.
Dylan had looked at her once, brows lifted in obvious query, and she had shaken her head. It was one thing to shift in front of him on the fringes of a bonfire; it was something else entirely to let her guard down at the heart of the gaiety. Her muscles itched to join them. It took all her control not to sink to her hands and knees, and sail over the fence to race the moon to the horizon. But she couldn’t do it. Not here. Not in front of all these strangers.
Dylan sidled up beside her and kissed her temple. “I think this party is getting a bit too wild for me.”
Gena tore her gaze away from the other guests and turned into Dylan’s waiting embrace. “I dunno,” she murmured. “You seem to do wild pretty good, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Only when I’m following your lead. Which I’ll continue to do if you want to stick around here.”
In the darkness, she couldn’t see anything but the vague outline of his face. She lifted her hand to his mouth and traced his soft lower lip. “Did you have fun?”
“I did. It’s always good to let my hair down.” He caught her wrist and pressed a kiss to her fingers. “Did you?”
“Yeah.” Which surprised her. She’d expected to only tolerate it for Dylan’s sake. “Is this what parties are usually like?”
“It’s what our parties are usually like. Well, the ones that don’t include bonfires, at any rate.”
“I didn’t see you shift.”
“You didn’t shift.”
“I didn’t…” Her voice trailed off. She didn’t want to look so weak to him. “We could make up for that now, if you wanted.”
“Right here and now?” Dylan shook his head. “I don’t need to. But if you wanted to go for a run, I wouldn’t disagree.”
“How about we start with a walk and see where it takes us?” She snuggled closer. “I’d like to appreciate you in this shape for a little bit longer.”
“Really?” Dylan smiled. “Come on, then. Let’s leave these savages to their own devices.”
He kept her close to him and turned her towards the gate where they had initially entered the party. She expected somebody to intercept them and try to stop them, but they were too distracted by their own play. Dylan waved to a few of them as they walked, but they reached the street without getting accosted.
The night had gone crisp and clear. Her bare arms would eventually feel the slight chill, but by the time that happened, they would be past the town borders and ready to run. For now, she tightened her hold on Dylan’s hand and pressed further into his side, getting lost in the heat from his body.
“It was weird seeing them all shift like that,” she admitted when they’d reached the corner. “I’ve never been to a Delta party where that happened.”
“Besides my birthday party, where you didn’t stay for very long, how many Delta parties have you been to?”
She chuckled. “Okay. You caught me. Only a few. And you’re right. I don’t usually stick around very long. But still…I didn’t expect it.”
“Because you think everybody in Delta represses that side of themselves?”
“Well, don’t they? I mean, they work in human form. And interact most of the time in human form. And when they find out you actually prefer to be in animal form, they either treat you like there’s something wrong with you, or feel sorry for you.” She shrugged. “It just doesn’t fit with how I remember things, that’s all.”
“What about the third thing you said?” Dylan didn’t stop walking, but he did slow. “Did that happen to you? You were treated poorly because you prefer living outside of Delta?”
Gena chewed on the inside of her cheek. Dylan didn’t press about the whys and wherefores of her living arrangements. She wasn’t so naïve not to think he’d found out part of the story; he’d been too curious in the beginning when he sought her out not to have checked her out. But they didn’t talk about it. It was the elephant in the corner they had ignored until now.
“How much do you know?” she asked softly. “Do you know about what happened to my dad?”
“My dad told me what happened to him. I asked him because I figured he would know, and I thought he’d be able to give me…objective information. And he knows you. He also told me what happened after. How you disappeared and how Delta reacted.”
Her throat was tight. She couldn’t breathe. She didn’t talk about what had happened; she tried not to even think about it. If she said she didn’t want to do so now, Dylan would back off. She knew he would. But he’d only asked because he cared about her. He only did any of this because she meant something to him. She wasn’t sure why, but she’d never been so thankful for anything in her entire life.
Gena swallowed. “He just stopped to help them. These two guys. We didn’t know who they were, but it looked like one was hurt, so Dad made me stay in the car while he checked it out.” A night so like this one, like so many since. “They didn’t know I was there until after they shot him. I didn’t have a choice. I had to run. I shifted to get away, and because I was so terrified they were going to find me, I stayed that way.”
Dylan winced. “So they weren’t shifters?”
“I don’t think so. They never found me. If they’d been shifters, I would have been easy to track.” She snorted in mocking deprecation of her younger self. “I thought I was so clever, and really, I was just lucky. I found out later they’d stolen our car, that they were never even caught. But I didn’t know that then. All I knew was they knew I’d seen them. So I hid. I shifted and stayed that way, because I couldn’t risk getting discovered.”
“Why did you finally decide to return to Delta?”
Sometimes, Gena wondered the same thing. “Because Delta was home. And I was hungry, and I wanted to be in my house again. When one of my neighbors saw me, she called the police. They had all these questions… I tried to get them to understand why I was gone so long, why I did what I had to. I tried. I did everything they asked me to. I even let them put me in the hospital to make sure everything was okay.” She glanced over. “Did your dad tell you they locked me in after the first night? The doctors started hooking me up to all these machines because they said I was malnourished, and it freaked me out, so I shifted and tried to get away. But I couldn’t. There were too many of them. They stuck me in a room without a window because they were worried I’d fly off again, and kept the door locked so I couldn’t get out.”
“Dad didn’t tell me that.” Dylan’s voice was low, tight. “He didn’t tell me…he just told me that…” He stopped walking, pulling her to a stop as well. They were still within the city limits, but they could have been alone in the desert. The road was abandoned, and all the houses around them were dark. “I wish I could have…” He moved away from her and kicked at something on the ground—or maybe he just kicked at the air. “They didn’t do it to hurt you.”
“Maybe not,” she conceded. It had taken a long time for her to understand that maybe they had only been trying to help. “But the looks they gave me, the things they said…” She was afraid to step closer. His entire body had gone hard. “Was it so wrong to not want to be like them? They acted like my spending a month as my totem was a bad thing. How could it be? It saved my life.”
“It wasn’t wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. You couldn’t have done anything different. They were just…scared. Because it’s…we’re not supposed to be able to…” Dylan stopped moving long enough to push the heel of his hands into his eyes. She took a step back, but the motion must have caught his attention, because he looked up then. “I know they didn’t want to hurt you, I believe that. But they shouldn’t have done that to you.”
“But they did. And it’s done. But…do you understand now?”
“Yeah. I do. I understand.” He was still tense, but his shoulders seemed to hunch over a little. He took her hand again, and they began mov
ing together, again. “All too well.”
They walked in silence, much heavier than the one before. Gena almost regretted saying anything at all. She didn’t want this between them, and she especially didn’t want Dylan upset by it. After several blocks, he still hadn’t relaxed any more. His grip lacked the warmth it usually had, and his eyes were shadowed and dark.
“Would you like to see it?” she blurted. When he glanced at her, she clarified. “My totem animal. When we shift for our run.”
“You don’t have to do that. I mean…you shouldn’t have to feel like you’ve got to.”
“I don’t. I want to.” And surprisingly, she meant it. “I trust you, Dylan. I know I don’t have to protect it from you.”
“Thank you. Are you going to tell me what it is first?”
She smiled and tugged at his hand, forcing him to speed up. “No. I think it’s going to be obvious why when I shift.”
“It’s not something creepy, is it?”
Her laughter rang through the air. “Absolutely not. Come on.”
Gena forced him into a run that made tendrils of her hair whip free of her clip. His hand finally tightened on hers as he matched her pace, and soon, they were beyond the city limits, the packed earth at their feet, the inky desert stretching out around them.
She let him go and stepped several feet away, turning around in order to face him. “If you want to shift into the wolf, that’ll be okay.” She whipped off her tank top and tossed it aside. Her nipples immediately pebbled in the cool air. “But don’t until I’m done, okay?”
“I’ll wait,” Dylan promised. “I’ve been waiting to see you like this for a long time, after all.”
Her stomach fluttered at his declaration. “I hope it’s worth it.”
Dylan was relieved they were shifting. Maybe the hot lump at the bottom of his throat would go away once he stretched himself into the wolf. He didn’t know what to think of Gena volunteering to show him her totem animal. Had she sensed that he had relinquished his hope on convincing her to stay in Delta? Or was it just some sick twist of fate that she should trust him as soon as he gave up?
“It’ll be worth it.” Dylan took a deep breath. “I’m ready when you are.”
She seemed to take her time stripping out of the rest of her clothes. Any other time, and Dylan would have appreciated the effort she took. He would have savored every inch of her perfect skin as it became exposed to the air. He would have held his breath while his body grew hard at the glorious sight of hers. But now, he just wanted to see her so he could shed his own skin and run until he couldn’t run any more.
She took her hair down last, setting the clip carefully on the pile of clothes. She didn’t straighten then. With her head bowed, her flesh rippled, red golden fur erupting from her skin as her legs shortened, her arms lengthened. A sweeping tail made her already long body stretch further, though he knew that was just an illusion. She wasn’t any more than four feet from nose to tail. Her white belly looked silver in the moonlight, and when she turned her head to face him, there were matching white stripes along her cheeks and along the inner corners of her golden eyes.
Dylan didn’t recognize the feline. He knew that it wasn’t anything from North America, but there his knowledge ended. He might have recognized her totem animal if his brain didn’t feel numb. But he did know that she was beautiful. Beautiful and powerful. Her whole body vibrated with that power, and the tip of her tail crooked, twitching back and forth. Dylan sank to his knees without hesitation, reaching out to touch her.
She let him run his fingers through the short fur between her ears. It looked bristly, but it was soft. Far softer than he expected. The disc of the moon fully caught her eyes, turning her golden eyes silver. He opened his mouth, wanting to tell her…something. But the words were caught in his chest.
She edged forward. Her gaze remained trained on his, glowing from the inner strength he’d always known she possessed. It only broke away when she grew too close to maintain it, and her head ducked as her nose brushed along his jaw. Her tongue ran over his neck, and a low rumble emanated from her chest. The sound of her soft purring vibrated through him.
Dylan closed his eyes for a moment, simply feeling and hearing her. He could still see her, the same way he saw her every time he closed his eyes. She moved even closer, and the heat coming from her soft pelt was enough to chase the chill from the night. How had she chosen this strange cat to be her totem animal? Had she ever seen one live? Or maybe it chose her. Dylan wasn’t exactly clear on how it worked. He had always felt like a wolf, but his large family were all canines. Had Hugh been a feline? Had her father shown her this exotic cat?
When he looked at her again, he couldn’t help a small smile. “Delta probably isn’t big enough to hold you.”
Her tail flicked. Tilting her head, she regarded him for a moment before she batted at his hand with a paw. The velvety pads should not have felt as sensual as they did.
Dylan held her paw between his palms, lightly petting the top. He felt the barest hint of her claws, and he knew those claws would defend her well. “Thank you for showing me. I didn’t even imagine you would be this beautiful.”
Her answering gurgle came with a shake of her head. Dylan couldn’t help but laugh, even though she pulled away. She retreated several steps and stopped, looking back over her shoulder as if in wait. After a few seconds, she moved again, to repeat the pattern of stopping and waiting.
Dylan’s smile felt a little strained. He pulled his shirt over his head, then stood and toed his shoes off. Within moments, his clothes were discarded, and he felt the pull of the moon beneath his skin. His throat was still tight, and every time he thought about Gena, frightened and alone, missing her father, straining against the door they locked for her own good, he wanted to puke. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch somebody in the face hard enough to smash bones.
But he didn’t want to be the person to remind her of that ordeal again.
Dylan willed himself into the black wolf, and the rush of instincts and strength made him feel better. But even as a wolf, he couldn’t shake the heavy feeling under his skin.
She leapt forward as soon as his shift was complete, daring him to chase, daring him to catch her. Her legs were shorter than his, but she seemed to fly across the flat ground, no sound of paws hitting dirt, nothing but the whisper of wind drifting back to him. Her feline scent invoked every hunter instinct he had in this form, and Dylan broke into a run, pushing his body harder and faster than he ever had before. He didn’t need to catch her. He needed to escape the ghosts her story had invoked. Just as she did.
Her path wasn’t straight. Her lithe shape spiraled this way and that, darting into darkness, leaping over rocks. The moonlight caught her fur so the color bled into her paler underbelly. It created a new hue, a new Gena, one that blended into the background like a sleek shadow. More than once, the only way to follow her trail was to use his nose. Dylan didn’t mind that. Her scent would forever be imprinted upon his awareness, even if she chose to finally leave.
Dylan didn’t know where she was taking him. As she took twists and turns through the night, he didn’t know if he would be able to find his way home. Sometimes, when an owl swooped overhead, he wondered if it was a shifter, wondered if it was somebody who would notice the strangeness of a wolf chasing an exotic cat through the Utah desert.
His muscles started to burn, and a howl erupted from him. It echoed off the distant cropping of red rocks, and even further, to echo off the flat mountains. The echo sounded lonely, and it followed him, like it wanted to return to his throat.
When her pace faltered, he lessened his speed to match hers. Then she slowed again, this time twisting to gaze back at him. Her eyes glowed in the moonlight, unreadable, indescribable. Her trajectory changed, and she ran around Dylan, behind and then in front again. She trapped him in an unseen cage of ever-narrowing circles until he had no choice but to come to a halt and wait for her to finish.
Dylan yipped at her, then padded forward, his sides heaving. The sand was loose beneath his paws, cool from the night air. The tips of his paws touched hers, and he settled on his stomach with a sigh. Resting his chin on the ground, he watched her, memorizing the white lines beneath her eyes. He thought about shifting, but if he did that, they might have to talk. He wasn’t interested in that just yet.
Slowly, Gena stretched a paw out to cover his. The soft wisps of fur across its back undulated gently in the breeze. She crawled closer, never breaking the contact. She only stopped when she was near enough to rest her head on his other paw, their faces mere inches from the other.
What would she do if he told her the truth and admitted he loved her? It would probably send her running faster than anything else he could say. He supposed he had nobody to blame but himself for the situation he found himself in. Dylan nudged closer and dragged his tongue over the soft fur on the side of her muzzle.
The purring commenced with the first lick. Encouraged, Dylan did it again, a longer swipe, this time more lingering. Gena closed her eyes. Her body melted atop the packed earth, and the purring grew louder. He switched to the opposite side, pleased when she turned her head to allow him more room. However she might protest, whatever she might say, he knew if nothing else she trusted him. For now, that would have to be enough. Especially since it was more than he thought he probably deserved.
Gena was the one to move away first, though it wasn’t so much moving away as it was lifting her head and repositioning her body. She shifted as she lay alongside him, and the paw that she’d thrown over his back became short, familiar fingernails scratching at his coat. The muzzle he had licked became the elegant lines of her jaw, and she rested her head on her folded arm to gaze up at him with her beautiful eyes.