I didn’t know what to say to all of it. “Stop being a jerk to me. Your drama is your own. I don’t deserve to be hurt by Roland, or by you.”
Bastien swallowed. “Agreed. I’m sorry. I suppose it’s too much to ask for a fresh start in the morning.”
I snuggled into him, too tired to stick to my indignation. “Why don’t you start now. Be sexy and cuddly, okay? I’m tired, and I need to sleep.”
Bastien snorted, and then shook his head as his own thoughts took prevalence. “Kerdik was right; I didn’t watch out for you like I should. I keep forgetting you’re the Lost Princess. You make it easy to forget that you’re just as untouchable as I am. And I keep forgetting that you’re not from here, and you need to be guarded from attacks.”
“Untouchable? This sounds like a long conversation I’m going to have to be awake for. Can we save the important talks for another day? I was pretty clear a second ago that your job description is to be sexy and cuddly. Everything else can wait until later.”
Bastien finally seemed to snap out of his funk and rolled me over, his body facing me in the dark. We were lit only by the fire in the doorway, but it was just enough to catch his dreamier features. “Is this better? Is this what you ordered, Daisy?”
“You’re just missing one thing.” I ran my fingers over his stubble and leaned in for the kiss I’d been longing for.
Bastien inched backward, a look of warning in his eyes. “Not while Master Kerdik’s here,” he whispered. “I can practically feel him watching us through this wall. I’m serious, Rosie. It’s bad enough Mad suspects us, and I’m pretty sure Roland already knows. But your aunt? If she found out you’re kissing an engaged man, things could go south real fast. By the books on this one, sweetheart.”
“Oh, fine. You owe me like, a really amazing kiss, though.”
“First chance I get where Avalon’s most terrifying warlock isn’t right next door.” He looked down at me and brushed his nose across mine. He glanced over his shoulder to the entrance warily. “Just one kiss,” he whispered to the night, promising himself more than warning me. I hadn’t pushed him further, and the fact that he wanted to kiss me despite the danger made me swoon for him.
“Whatever you need to tell yourself, chief. If you can stop at just one, you’ve got better self-control than I do.”
Bastien looked deep into my eyes. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop wanting to be near you.” When Bastien’s lips brushed mine, my whole body bent to accommodate his. My back arched, my leg looped around his, and my lips molded to his soft and insistent ones over and over again. The rain pounded on our stone roof, adding to the we’re-in-the-middle-of-nowhere feeling I could take a bath in, reveling in the luxury that it was. “So much for one kiss,” Bastien murmured as he went in for more, and still more, and yet somehow, never enough.
32
Private and Public
Waking in Bastien’s arms was the breath of fresh air my soul desperately needed. I’d finally slept deeply, and for hours in his burly embrace. “You awake?” he whispered, his nose nudging my cheek.
I didn’t bother to open my eyes. “If I say no, will you keep holding me?”
“Always.” His lips buried themselves in the crook of my neck and kissed a line along my jaw. “I’ve been waiting to kiss you all night. This little room is messing with my mind. Makes me feel like we’re all alone.”
“We are,” I teased. I stretched and then shifted us, pulling a fast one so he was on his back, and I was straddling him. I felt powerful, deviant and finally like I had a say in something. “It’s our own desert island.” I leaned down and sucked on his lower lip, taking no prisoners and foregoing any pretense that our passion could be tamed. I knew we would have to be good and socially polite soon, so I took my ground where I could get it.
Bastien wasn’t in the mood to pretend he wanted to keep his distance. His hands found their way to my backside and squeezed the swell, making my back arch and my toes curl. I loved the taste of Bastien, and couldn’t get enough. His flannel unbuttoned beneath my frenzied fingertips, eager to get closer to his warmth. His t-shirt was tugged over his head and cast aside so I could trace the scope of his broad chest.
He broke the kiss and looked down at his scarred body, panting through his desire for more, which conflicted with his nerves at being so exposed. “I didn’t always look like this. These scars, I…”
I captured his lips before he could tell me how much he hated his body. “I love the look of you.” I devoured his lips, pressing my pelvis to his while I straddled his lap. “I love the feel of you.”
His hunger for me multiplied at my declaration. Bastien lifted me and tipped me backwards, pressing my shoulders to the dirt so he could cover me with his toned physique. He hitched my leg over his hip and traced the slope of my thigh through my jeans, while his lips made a perfect mess of my control.
I didn’t choke on the lueur at all, and reveled in the kiss we could finally have without holding ourselves back. I needed just one uninhibited moment to feel like I still had a choice in any part of my life.
I wasn’t expecting the wall next to us to rapidly suck itself into the ground, leaving us on display for the others, who gasped at the scandal. I swore and moved to cover myself, though I wasn’t the one without a shirt. It was Bastien’s kiss that made me feel gloriously naked, and that was a very private thing.
Bastien sat up and quickly threw on his shirt, tugging it downward. He faced away from the others to hide his scars from them. His back wasn’t that much better, though. “Apologies,” he offered to Aunt Avril, his head bowed and eyes averted. Her hand was still stuck in the rock wall, her forlorn expression replaced with one of scandal and a mild dose of shame at my brazen behavior.
I sat up and dusted myself off. My cheeks were burning, but we hadn’t done anything too racy. I mean, we were kissing, not making babies mere feet away from my new family. I forgot that in Avalon, kissing means a whole lot more than it does up in Common, implying long-term intentions and whatnot.
Kerdik watched us carefully, studying my small movements and Bastien’s hand that reached down to lift me up after he stood. He still couldn’t look at the group, but addressed them all with a brave voice. “So, I’m sure you all gathered as much, but Rosie’s mine.” His hand stayed locked onto my fingers, unwilling to cast me aside for social propriety this time. I didn’t know what to make of his declaration, other than that finally we were moving forward, not having to hide anything. But to call me his before we’d even had a conversation about it felt… off. I began to appreciate the ocean of difference between our two cultures.
Roland spat on the ground at Bastien’s feet, livid. “You’re engaged to Reyn’s sister! How could you do that to Rachelle?”
Most unsettling was Kerdik’s careful study of us. It was like he was building a plan in his mind, but for what, I couldn’t tell you.
Bastien cleared his throat. “I claimed Rachelle’s hand because Captain Burke raped her, got her pregnant, and then left her for dead. I did it to save her reputation. You know that, Roland.”
Roland’s fists were clenched at his sides. “Reyn would murder you if he saw you carrying on with the witch. If women could be Gancanagh, I would swear on my life that she was one of them, charming you to follow her wishes.”
“Reyn knows all about us,” Bastien replied, since apparently I’d gone mute. “Lane knows, too.”
Aunt Avril shook her head in dismay. “I can’t believe Captain Burke got away with devastating the Judge’s daughter.”
“He paid for it with his life. Spilled his blood on my knife in Rachelle’s name.” Bastien lifted his eyes to meet Aunt Avril’s, which were now filled with concern and compassion, and not the condemnation he’d been expecting. “She’s in a coma, and doesn’t know she’s engaged to me. Rosie and I have been together for a while now, and we’re keeping it quiet out of respect for Rachelle.”
“And what happens when we get back, Basti
en?” Roland’s shout came out in accusation, the hot head. His temper conflicted terribly with the early morning sunshine that was supposed to brighten the day and lighten moods. “What happens to Rachelle’s reputation then? What happens when she wakes up one day? The witch won’t let you go!”
Madigan had heard enough. His beefy arm coiled around Roland’s throat from behind and squeezed a gasp out of him. Though Roland was an average-sized dude, anyone looked small when compared with Mad’s height and strength. “Tha’s enough out of ye. Bastien’s an Untouchable. Don’t forget what tha means, or I’ll remind ye the fun way.”
Kerdik didn’t bother looking at the fly that bothered him, but merely held up his fingers and snapped them. In the next breath, Roland’s lips were sealed shut with some kind of gummy mud. He struggled against the impromptu gag, and started freaking out even after Madigan dropped his grip on the duke. “I’ve heard enough from you.”
Madigan frowned at his conquest. “Well, tha feels like cheating. I had him.”
Kerdik narrowed his eyes at Roland. “You’ll not call my prize a witch. I would know if she was, and she isn’t. A vixen, perhaps, but not a witch.” Kerdik’s eyes fell on Bastien, who bowed his head respectfully. “What is your plan for when Rachelle wakes? What of Rosie then?”
“I don’t know,” Bastien whispered, rubbing the nape of his neck in anguish. I hated that our connection was causing him pain. “I didn’t plan to fall for her, and I tried to push her away as often as I could. It’s getting… It’s too hard to stay away anymore. If I wasn’t engaged, I’d take her lueur and vow to be her Guardien this very second, but that’s not my life. I don’t have those options.”
Madigan’s intake of breath was the one I paid attention to. He was the one who seemed to know Bastien best and have his back without question.
“You would?” I didn’t mean to speak, but the words flew out before I could censor them.
Bastien turned to me slowly, looking at me as if I was the only one in the cave – as if I was the only woman in the world. “I would. If you would have me as your Guardien, I would serve and protect only you until my last breath. I’m pretty much there as it is. Even without your lueur, I’m afraid I can’t stay away from you.” And he did look actually fearful of the commitment he verbalized.
My eyes widened, and my heart rose to choke my throat. “Bastien, I don’t know what to say. That’s… thank you.”
Bastien squeezed my hand and turned back to the others. “That’s how serious this is, and how much I would give her if it was mine to give.” His morose eyes met mine in silent apology. “But it’s not mine. I belong to Rachelle, even though she doesn’t know it. Even if she wakes up one day and curses me for trying to save her name this way.”
I dropped his hand. Not out of shock or anger, but because it wasn’t mine to hold. I shoved my hands into my pockets and hung my head, trying not to get worked up. It was the grand declaration, followed by the reminder of the separation to come. The kiss, followed by the crash – that’s the way it always seemed to be with us.
“What of this Rachelle’s baby?” Kerdik inquired.
“Died months before it ever saw the light of day. I didn’t count on falling for Rosie. I didn’t count on any of this. I was a bounty hunter and a hermit before I met her. And I’ve never kissed Rachelle, or had any kind of relationship with her. I did it because her brother is one of my best friends, and that’s what you do when a brother needs help. I couldn’t sit back and watch his family go down like that.”
Kerdik nodded, as if he was done and understood the scope of it. “You want to be with this man, Fleur?”
“I do. But not like this. Not sneaking and hiding it. I don’t want to make a joke out of Reyn’s sister. So please, guys. Don’t say anything about us. We’re dealing with it as best we can.” I tried to be brave and mature about it all, raising my chin. “When we get back to civilization, I’ll put some distance between us. Bastien will go back to his life in Province 1, and I’ll go with Lane to her region until we have a better plan for what to do with the gems.”
Bastien leaned against the cave wall, his thick arms crossed over his chest. “Don’t talk like that, Rosie. We’ll find a way. Just give me some time to figure this out. We can be together. We’ll find moments that can be ours.”
I shook my head, wishing for a little privacy to get through this too-adult conversation. “We’ll find moments for me to be the other woman? We’ll find moments that could ruin Rachelle’s reputation and embarrass her family if people found out?”
“But my engagement’s not real! I would never cheat on a woman I was actually with.”
“Her friends don’t know you’re not really together. You can’t save her reputation and break it.” I felt on the verge of being too vulnerable in public, so I knew I had to make a fast escape. “I’m going for a stroll. Be back in a few.” I walked out into the sunshine, shocked that most of the wheat was completely bent and broken from the tumultuous weather.
“Rosie, wait!”
I heard Kerdik’s firm voice that held no question that he was in charge. “You stay here. I’ll see to her.”
33
Kerdik’s Hat, His Ring, and His Dark Deed
Kerdik wasn’t dressed for a run, but I was. My walk shifted to the jog I needed when I heard his footsteps gaining on me, and then it shifted to a run. I bolted through the field, wishing for a soccer ball and a goal to take out some of my frustration. Running would have to suffice for now. The cool morning air stung my skin as my arms pumped and my tears threatened to choke me.
Then suddenly, Kerdik was a few meters in front of me, materialized out of nowhere. I guess he hadn’t needed to dress for a run after all. Kerdik held out his arms for me, and darn it, if I didn’t trust him through the obvious menace. I cleared the distance and crashed into his embrace, knocking him back a few feet, but not bowling him completely over. “There, there,” he shushed me, holding me to his chest as if I belonged in his arms. “Is this what you want? You want Bastien for your Guardien?”
My forehead wrinkled in confusion. “I don’t even really know all that’s entailed in being something like that. Do I actually need one?”
“Someone to guard you and your household? Most certainly. You have an undeniable sweetness about you, which can be a deadly liability in Avalon.”
The thought of chaining myself to someone I didn’t know made me panic, so I tried to wrap my mind around the whole thing as gracefully as possible. “I guess if I have to have one, I’d want it to be Bastien. I don’t want to trust myself to a stranger. I’ve never felt…” I shrugged out of his hug, embarrassed at how I’d carried on over a guy. “It doesn’t matter. It’ll end when we get back. How it’s supposed to be. I’ve got to focus on this gem crap anyways. Help Lane get Avalon back on track. This place isn’t my home to begin with. Best Bastien and I don’t attach too deep. I’ll be going back up to Common once Avalon’s settled.”
Kerdik looked on my red face with compassion no one would believe unless they could see it. He was painted as such a villain, but I got to bask in the kindness he seemed to have on tap only for me. “If Bastien is what you want, then it’s him you should have.”
I offered up a wan impression of a smile. “If only life was that simple. Sorry for the whole scene back there. I’m not used to having a love life, much less having other people watch all the drama go down. I just miss Lane, is all.” I shook my head at myself, banding my arms around my stomach to hold my guts safely inside. “I’m such a mama’s girl.”
“You see Lane as your mother, then?”
“Of course I do. She’s my best friend, and I’m not used to being cut off from her like this for so long.”
Kerdik wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me back in the direction of the cave. “Come, now. Everything is fixable. You’ll see.” He paused a ways before we reached the cave, and took my hand in his. “It’s not normal for an eligible maiden to take a Guardien who
does not become her husband.”
“Oh, jeez. We’ve barely had a handful of kisses, and there’s already an ocean of problems. I can’t even think in the realm of marriage, K.”
“K?”
I shrugged. “You need a nickname. ‘Dick’ doesn’t seem like the frontrunner in that arena.”
Kerdik chuckled, and then played with my knuckles, eyeing the ring finger on my left hand with a calculating gaze. “I want you to wear something for me.”
“Is it your hat? Because I’m kind of dying to see what your hair looks like under that thing.”
Kerdik grinned, took off his Newsies cap, and then placed it on my head. His light blue hair was short along the sides, and combed neatly on top. The part just to the left of the middle was done in a perfect zig-zag, running from front to back. It made him look put together, yet still a touch unbalanced. Despite having worn a hat the entire time I’d been around him, not a single hair was flat or out of place. The blue against his kelly-green skin was a sharp, beautiful contrast I couldn’t help but gawk at. Pair that with the white dress shirt, nice slacks, gray vest and those dark lashes? Kerdik looked… dapper. A fancy brand of casual.
“Cool. Can I touch it? I’ve never seen hair like yours. Do you dye it, or does it look like this naturally? It’s super way beautiful.”
“I’ve looked like this for a very long time – longer than you could fathom.” Kerdik dipped his head so I could feel the soft blue. I tried to muss it, but it kept returning to its original Ken doll shape, as if Kerdik traveled with an invisible comb.
“Why are you wearing a hat, then? If I had cool hair like this, I’d show it off all the time.”
“I admit, I’ve never thought of my hair as something to show off. It marks me from afar, as does my skin. People mistrust me on first glance because I look so very alien. I don’t know why I think the hat will make some sort of difference.” When I went to remove the hat from my head and return it to him, he shook his head. “Keep it. Perhaps I shouldn’t hide who I am.”
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