He didn’t say a word, but his dark gaze remained on her.
“Kisses are an old habit for us. The opportunity arose again. I wanted to be kissed. It was bound to happen,” she rambled, trying to justify what had occurred. “Someday we’ll look back at this and laugh.”
He raised a brow. “You think?”
She had no idea, but laughing this off was better than analyzing it to death and not liking her conclusion. “Sure.”
“Most kisses aim for romance, not humor.”
Was he aiming for romance by kissing her? Her pulse accelerated. No more kisses. “True, but romantic kisses are a dime a dozen. This one...”
A grin tugged at his lips. He rubbed his stomach. “I won’t be forgetting this one anytime soon.”
Her neither. But for different reasons than his.
Warning bells sounded in her head. Who was she kidding? She was past the warning stage. Alarms blared.
Best not to travel this road again. Giving in to desire would lead to disappointment and heartache. She couldn’t do that to herself, to her heart. “But it won’t happen again.”
“Definitely not.”
That was fast. Almost too fast. And he had said probably before, but definitely this time. Disappointment spiraled to the tips of her toes. At least they agreed, right?
She pressed her lips together, unsure what to say or do next. That seemed to be standard operating procedure whenever she was around Cullen. So why had she been so eager to see him when she woke up this morning?
He walked into the kitchen. “You mentioned taking a nap. While you sleep, I’ll figure out dinner. I’m sure we have enough leftovers.”
“It’s Taco Night at the brewpub.”
“You’re in pain.”
She didn’t want to stay inside, with him so close and her aching with surprise need. “I want to go out.”
His gaze raked over her, assessing her like one of his patients. “It’ll be too much for you after such a long day.”
“I’ve done nothing but lie or sit around, except for a walk outside with Bill.”
Cullen’s eyes narrowed. “There’s snow on the ground. You could have slipped.”
“We didn’t go far, and Bill never let go of my arm.”
“How gentlemanly of him.”
Sarah didn’t appreciate Cullen’s sarcastic tone, but maybe she could use this to her advantage. “Do you want to go to the brewpub tonight or not?”
“I like Taco Night, but I’m happy to stay home tonight. It’s been a long week.”
She empathized with that. “You must be exhausted.”
He opened the refrigerator. “Let’s go next week.”
“You can go then.” She straightened. “I’m going tonight. I’ll call Bill.”
Cullen slammed the fridge door. “Why do you want to go so badly?”
“I’m desperate to get out of the house.”
He arched a brow. “Desperate?”
Sarah nodded. “I’ve been doing everything I’m supposed to do, but enough is enough. I need to get out and do something. Have...”
“Fun,” he finished for her.
It would be fun to kiss him again. She didn’t dare admit that. “Lying around all day resting is the antithesis of fun. I can sit at the brewpub as easily as I can here.”
“You won’t be here alone.”
That was the problem tonight. She was alone with him. “I’ve enjoyed having people around. Everyone is nice and we’re getting to know each other. But I need to get out, have a change of environment, scenery, whatever you want to call it, or I’m going to lose my mind.”
Or burn with unspent desire.
Kissing Cullen again would send her over the edge completely.
Going to the brewpub made the most sense. The other option—spending the evening at home with Cullen—didn’t seem like a smart idea. Sure, they’d agreed not to kiss again, but they’d also agreed to divorce. Who knew what could happen with the two of them here alone tonight? She didn’t want to take any chances. She couldn’t afford more kisses. She couldn’t lose her heart to him. That would destroy her.
“Leanne told me about the soft pretzels with the house dipping sauce,” Sarah explained. “I love pretzels.”
“I didn’t know that.”
She wished he had made more time for her so they could have gotten to know each other better.
“I didn’t know about your broken arm.” Sarah waited for him to respond. She didn’t understand his hesitation. “If you’d rather stay home, that’s fine. Bill will drive me if you’re not up for it.”
Cullen’s nostrils flared. “I’m up for it.”
“But you said—”
“I changed my mind, okay?”
More than okay. She didn’t care if jealousy was the reason or not, even if it gave her an unexpected rush of feminine power. “It’s great. Thanks.”
“Take a short nap first,” he ordered in that oh-so-strict doctor’s voice of his.
Such a change from the way he’d been kissing and touching her a few minutes ago. She gave a mock salute. “Aye, aye, Captain. Pillows are fluffed and the sheet turned down ready for nap, sir.”
If only he’d join her...
Playful images flitted through her mind. Her temperature rose.
On second thought, napping by herself was better. Safer. Even if she would be...lonelier.
CHAPTER NINE
TACO NIGHT AT the Hood Hamlet Brewpub always put a smile on Cullen’s face. Nothing beat good food, great beer and hanging with friends, but it was the last place he wanted to be tonight. He gripped the steering wheel and turned onto Main Street, trying to ignore the floral scent of Sarah’s shampoo drifting his way.
She peered out the window. “It’s crowded for a Thursday.”
Her kisses had sent him to the brink. He’d been on the verge of losing all control until she’d taken him out with her cast. He’d never been so relieved to be punched in the gut. It hurt, but he could have been hurt a lot more if he’d continued kissing her. “Fresh snowfall brings skiers and riders to the mountain.”
Sarah turned toward him. “What about climbers?”
His gaze lingered on her lips. He jerked his attention back to the road. She was the one with the concussion, but he needed to have his head examined. Imagining her with Paulson during the drive home had done crazy things to Cullen.
His self-control had been nonexistent. Whenever Sarah was involved, his feelings overrode common sense. But he hadn’t withdrawn or run away from her. This time he’d done something worse. He’d kissed her.
Talk about reckless behavior.
Finding out she was jealous about who he was with had been a real turn-on. Kissing her had seemed the most natural thing in the world. But he couldn’t allow himself to be taken in by her again. “If they’re smart, they’ll wait for a better weather window and an avalanche report.”
“If not?”
“You hope they get lucky. Otherwise OMSAR pings us with a mission call out.”
“Some people think they can conquer the mountain.”
He parked across the street from the brewpub. “Yeah, but the mountain always wins.”
“Mother Nature gets a shot in once in a while.”
“Leanne’s fiancé, Christian, can tell you all about that.”
“She mentioned how OMSAR rescued his cousin and him.”
Cullen turned off the ignition. “They got caught in a wicked storm, but it ended well.”
Sarah unfastened her seat belt. “It’s too bad there aren’t more happy endings like that.”
Her wistful tone surprised him. Sarah could be impulsive, but she didn’t give in to flights of fancy or fairy tales. She must be talking about her rescue. “Yo
urs has a happy ending.”
Her gaze narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“Mount Baker. Your accident,” he explained. “Your data could have been destroyed. Your injuries could have been worse. You could have died. But none of those things happened. Happy ending.”
“It will be happy once I’m back at the institute.”
Away from him.
The words were unspoken, but implied. They stung, given how passionately she’d kissed him back this afternoon.
She reached across her chest and fumbled with the door handle.
He leaned over to help. His arm brushed her breast, sending a burst of heat rushing through him. He pulled back. “Sorry.”
“I’ve got it.” On the third try she opened the door.
She exited as if a bomb were about to blow. He hurried around the truck, then held her hand. “Be careful.”
Annoyance burned in the depths of Sarah’s eyes. She tugged her hand out of his. “I know to be careful.”
“Just watching out for you.”
“It’s not as if I did something stupid to make myself fall. If the steam blast hadn’t happened...”
She wouldn’t be here. The thought brought a strange mix of relief and regret.
“I can cross the street by myself,” she continued.
“There could be ice,” he cautioned. She must be hungry. Hunger would explain her short fuse. “I’d say the same thing to anyone else who was with me, so don’t get your panties in a twist.”
She pursed her lips. “That would be hard to do, since I’m not wearing panties.”
Cullen’s mouth went dry. His gaze dropped to her hips. All he saw were jeans, but the thoughts running through his head raised his temperature twenty degrees.
“Trust me, I’d know if my thong was twisted,” she added.
A thong. He remembered her thongs. His temperature spiraled. He needed to take off his jacket.
He realized a moment too late she was crossing the street without him. “Wait up, Lavagirl.”
Sarah stood on the sidewalk, tapping her toe.
“You’re hungry,” he said.
Her foot stopped moving. She nodded with a contrite expression.
“The taco bar is all-you-can-eat,” he said.
She bit her lip.
He motioned her toward the entrance, but she didn’t move.
Her gaze filled with uncertainty. “Is there anything I should know before we go inside?”
“About the taco bar?”
“About the people I’m going to meet.”
Not only hungry. Nervous. “You’ve met Carly, Zoe, Hannah and Leanne.”
“And Bill.”
Unfortunately. Cullen wasn’t too happy with Paulsen right now. “Jake Porter, Sean Hughes and Christian Welton, if he’s not on duty, will be here. I’m not sure about Hannah and Garrett Willingham or Rita and Tim Moreno, since they need babysitters. You never know who will show up. But no worries. Everybody will make you feel right at home.”
An older couple holding hands exited the brewpub. Sarah stepped aside to let them pass. Cullen did the same.
Sarah glanced at the door to the brewpub as if it were a black hole. “I’ll make sure I don’t embarrass you in front of your friends.”
“You’ve never embarrassed me.”
“That time I danced on the bar at the hole-in-the-wall dive near Joshua Tree.”
The taste of tequila shots with lemon and salt rushed back. He remembered the way she’d moved to the pulse-pounding music. “I was turned on, not embarrassed. I would have preferred a private performance without the other men leering at you. Then you could have taken it all off and not just undone only a couple of buttons.”
“Well, then—” she flipped her hair behind her shoulder in a seamless, sexy move that nearly cut him to his knees “—I guess I have nothing to worry about tonight.”
She might not, but Cullen couldn’t say the same thing. He had a feeling he would be worrying for as long as Sarah was in town. Maybe even after she left.
* * *
Being out should have perked up Sarah’s spirits and energized her like a toy bunny with brand-new batteries. But as soon as she stepped inside the brewpub, the smells of hops and grease assaulted her. Her stomach churned, not with hunger, but a severe case of nerves.
Rock music played, but the din of conversation drowned out the lyrics. Servers dressed in jeans and black T-shirts carried pitchers of beers, pint glasses and sodas.
“They’re in the back,” Cullen said.
She had no idea how he’d found his friends among all the people, but she followed him, weaving around crowded tables and past jam-packed booths. She ignored the strong impulse to grab his hand.
That would be a bad move. Just like kissing him back and coming here. Sarah should have stayed at the cabin, locked away in her bedroom, where she wouldn’t be so hypersensitive. She didn’t know if it was aftereffects of his kiss or the anticipation of meeting more of his friends or...
Yours is a happy ending.
Yeah, that was what had gotten her panties—make that thong—in a twist and turned her insides into a quivering mess.
Sarah wanted a happily-ever-after of her own. Once upon a time she thought she’d found hers with Cullen. But she should have known it wasn’t meant to be. As a child, she might have dreamed of living a storybook-type life, but she’d learned the chances of happily ever after were slim to none. She accepted that reality, though she hated it.
You were no longer a part of my life. I could start over in Hood Hamlet with a clean slate once the divorce was finalized.
She’d thought the same thing about living without him before her accident. Now she wasn’t so sure.
Cullen had found the perfect place to spend the rest of his life, to fall in love, get married again and raise a family. She would return to the institute, work until her grant was over then find another job at a volcano somewhere else in the world. That adventurous way of life had always appealed to her.
Until now.
What was she thinking? She loved what she did. Work fulfilled her. It was her life.
The confusion, envy and dissatisfaction had to be from the concussion and her injuries, tiredness and hunger. Once she ate, she would feel better.
Cullen motioned to a long table with attractive men sitting on one end and beautiful women on the other. “Looks like most of the crew made it.”
Bill sat with two men Sarah hadn’t seen before. Cullen fit right in with that bunch of eye candy.
Zoe Hughes waved. She wore a colorful sleeveless shirt with ruffles on the front. A sparkly clip held up her hair with stylish, artfully placed tendrils around her face. “Leanne said we might see you tonight. I’m so glad you came.”
Sarah wasn’t used to people being so happy to see her. It felt good. “It took some convincing, but the good doctor finally relented.”
Cullen raised his hands. “I know when to surrender.”
Zoe’s blue eyes twinkled. “Proud of you, Doc.”
Introductions were made and a pitcher of Jake’s handcrafted root beer ordered for Sarah.
Leanne shooed him away. “Go sit with the guys, Doc, so us girls can chat.”
Cullen pulled a chair out for Sarah. “Let me know when you’re ready to eat. I’ll go with you to the taco bar. It’ll be hard for you with one hand.”
With a nod, she sat.
He pushed in her chair, then joined his friends a few feet away.
Carly pushed her long blond hair behind her ears. “Cullen is so overprotective of you.”
Leanne nodded. “I always knew there was more to him than met the eye.”
“It’s so sweet.” Zoe sighed. “I can’t imagine what Sean w
ould be like if I was injured in an accident. I doubt he’d let me out of his sight or want me to do anything, either.”
As if Cullen loved Sarah that much. A lead weight settled in the bottom of her stomach. He might care, he might be concerned, but not the way a devoted husband would be if something happened to his beloved wife.
Sarah glanced his way.
Tenderness filled his gaze.
Her heart bumped. Flustered, she looked away.
“You have more color than this morning,” Leanne said. “Feeling better?”
Sarah might still be flushed after being kissed so thoroughly. Or it could be embarrassment. She cleared her throat. “I went for a walk today with Bill. Got some fresh air.”
“And now the brewpub,” Carly said. “That’s more excitement than you’re used to.”
Especially when you added in Cullen’s kisses. Sarah nodded.
The server placed a pitcher of root beer and a glass on the table. Cullen already had a beer in his hand. Carly filled the glass and gave it to Sarah.
“Thanks.” She took a sip. Thick and rich with the right amount of sweetness. “This is great.”
Carly grinned. “Jake makes the best root beer in Oregon.”
Leanne grinned. “The two of you are so cute. You act like newlyweds, even with a baby.”
“Nicki is officially a toddler now,” Carly said.
Sarah noticed how Jake and Carly smiled at each other a lot. The same with Sean and Zoe.
A diamond-engagement-ring-size lump lodged in Sarah’s throat. These happy couples gave her hope some marriages could succeed. They also were a harsh reminder of how hers had failed.
How did some people get so lucky? That was what she wanted to know.
A plate with two large pretzels and a small bowl of mustard dipping sauce appeared in front of her. She looked over her shoulder to see Cullen standing there.
He smiled. “You wanted to try a pretzel.”
His gesture touched her. If only they could have been one of the lucky couples. “I do.”
“The pretzels are almost as good as the root beer,” Carly said.
Zoe flipped her hair. “The pretzels are better.”
“Try one,” Cullen urged.
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