Ash senses I am about to lose it and takes the phone away from me. He asks me to make a pot of coffee and casually walks into his study as if he wants privacy then closes the door. I try not to intrude on him but can’t help eavesdropping outside the door as I listen to their conversation. He’s got Bradley on speakerphone.
“Bradley, hey, it’s Ash. Look, your mom is pretty distraught right now. She has been through so much and wanted to tell you all at the same time. She’s been having a real tough time trying to figure out the right time to let you guys know. Right now, what she really needs is a little understanding. Don’t be rough on her. She doesn’t deserve that.”
“Well, Ash, what the hell happened? Did my dad cheat while he was staying with you before mom got there?”
“Bradley, I have no idea what your father did. I wasn’t his caretaker. I suspect, though, that this has been going on a lot longer than you would think. I don’t want to sugarcoat things, because you deserve to know the truth. Ugly as it is, I am going to let you know about the night your mother found out. She had called your dad to see when his plane would be coming in for Thanksgiving and he flat out told her that he wasn’t coming home and that he had been seeing someone else. She drank herself into a stupor and was here all by herself until I came home. I was in the City for business and your dad called me to tell me what had happened and said your mother wasn’t answering her cell phone or the house phone and he was worried. He asked if I could check on her. I drove about ninety miles an hour to get here and found her drunk, freezing cold, and wet, out on the patio curled up in a chair. You don’t have to share that with your brother and sister, but I thought you should know that this lady is devastated and doesn’t need anyone telling her that she should talk to him and work it out. You didn’t see her like I did—it scared the hell out of me, son. Your mom is a wonderful lady, and she needs your understanding and support, now. Can you give that to her?”
“Well, what do you think I should do? Should I get Mom a ticket to Houston so she can tell Lainey and Kellan? I can get her a ticket to fly into Houston this weekend. I guess they can Skype and tell Dalton”
“She is going to talk to an attorney tomorrow, so can I call you after and we can plan?”
“Of course! Ash, I appreciate your being there for Mom. I had no idea what she was going through. What an ass Dad is! I just can’t believe he’s giving up his family. You’re right, she doesn’t deserve this. This is so fucked up! I just hate my dad right now.”
“Bradley, let’s just make sure your mom is okay. I’m sure she will be, but she is really freaked out about telling you guys. We’ll talk tomorrow. Text me your cell number and I’ll call you and we can come up with a plan. Her boss has arranged for her to talk to an attorney, so we won’t know anything until after her meeting”
“Okay—promise you’ll call me tomorrow and we decide if she needs to go to Houston. We definitely don’t want to upset Lainey, but she and Dalton need to know what is going on. This fucking sucks!”
“I know, son, this isn’t good, but the good thing is that Olivia has three amazing kids who love her dearly. I’m here for her as well. Talk to you tomorrow! Going to give you back to your mom. Don’t tell her I told you about the night your dad called, please!”
“ Sure thing, Ash…no worries!”
Ash opens the door and comes back into the kitchen as I do my best to act like I haven’t heard the conversation and hands the phone back to me.
“Mom, I’m sorry I went off on you.” Bradley says. “I am totally with you. Sorry I reacted like I did, but I had no idea things went down that way.”
“Oh, Bradley, I love you so much! I am so sorry—embarrassed and sorry. I promise I had no idea your Dad was seeing someone else. I feel like a complete failure!”
“Mom, please don’t feel that way…. Dad fucked up, and I am totally pissed! I’ll call you tomorrow. Ash said you are going to talk to an attorney, so I am interested to see what he says. I just wish to hell I could be there with you. This fucking sucks!”
“Yes, son, it sucks big-time, but we will get through this, I promise. Both Ash and my boss Sarah have been so supportive.”
“If you need to go to Houston, I will get you a ticket so you can tell Lainey. Please, just call me after your meeting. I am with you, Mom. 100 percent… I swear. Damn Dad! How the fuck could he do this? This fucking sucks, Mom!”
“Yes, Bradley, it does, and you’ve said that about five times, now! As long as I have you, Lainey, and Dalton behind me, I can get through this with no problems. Life throws curve balls your way, but I think I can handle it as long as I have your support.”
“You have mine, Mom! I love you so much!”
“Okay, Bradley, I will call you tomorrow. I seriously don’t want to mess up your life with this. Good night Bradley…I love you so much.”
I hang up the phone and Ash takes me into his arms.
“Olivia, you’re lucky to have such amazing kids. They’ll be behind you all the way… I will too!”
“That makes this journey so much easier. Thanks so much. I don’t know what I would do without you!”
He has dinner ready for us, and we enjoy our meal of pasta and salad. We sit down to eat in the kitchen.
“Olivia, tell me about special occasions for you and Alan.”
“What do you mean—like anniversaries and birthdays?”
“Yeah. What was a typical anniversary like?”
I pinch at my forehead and look down. Tears are welling up in my eyes and I don’t want to look at Ash. He lifts my chin up with his thumb and looks me straight in the eyes. Tears fall from my eyes. “What is it? Was your relationship that bad?”
I take a deep breath and exhale. “Okay. You asked for it, so I’ll tell you. A typical anniversary was going to a restaurant of Alan’s choosing—somewhere he wanted to eat, not me. Typical conversation at the table? Well, let’s see... Him telling me that I needed a haircut, that I should really wear a different color of lipstick, why was I wearing the outfit I was wearing? On and on. Matter of fact, here is a good one: last year on our anniversary at the dinner table, he said my hairstyle was really outdated and made me look old. Romantic, huh? Totally not prepared for that one! I couldn’t stop the tears and I just wanted to run out of the restaurant, I felt so bad. If it hadn’t been raining and so far from home, I probably would have. I’m sure the people around us heard him, and I can’t tell you how deep that cut. He asked me what was wrong and said that he just made an observation and I was spoiling the whole night by reacting the way I did.”
“Jesus, Olivia, no romantic dinners?”
“Nope. Sorry, no juicy romance tales to tell on my end. It was always just dinner because well, that’s what you were supposed to do on your anniversary. Then we’d hurry home, because Alan was tired and had to get up early. To be honest, I would rather have stayed home by myself, because he made me feel so undesirable. Dear God! Why am I even telling you this? This is really embarrassing. And you wonder why I am not very confident. Well there! You have it—feel better now?” My defensive side is rearing its ugly head and I am suddenly in a really crappy mood.
“Olivia, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I was just curious. Look, Alan was the one with the problem. How in God’s name he didn’t see you as I do is beyond me. Shit. Why did I even have to bring this up? I am so sorry Olivia. Let’s just pretend we didn’t have this conversation okay?” He takes my hands across the table and looks into my eyes. “I will never treat you like that, honey.”
I barely touch my food. My appetite is gone, and I now have a horrible headache.
“Liv, come on, say something, please.”
“Look, you were the one who wanted to hear this. You asked me, and I told you, and now you know! You know why I am insecure, why I feel unattractive, that I have no idea how to please a man sexually, I wear the wrong colors of lipstick, my hair is out of style, and I am a wreck. There, are you happy, now?” I get up from the table and s
torm out of the room and run up the stairs into my room. I lock the door and start to cry. I go into my bathroom and run a bath. Ash doesn’t come up after me, but that’s okay. I need to be by myself right now. I soak in my bath for a long time, thinking of my life, my insecurities, my lack of knowledge about sex. I wrap my arms around myself for comfort.
When I am wrinkled from soaking in the tub, I throw on a nightgown and go downstairs to apologize to Ash for going off on him. I shouldn’t have vented on him; he didn’t do anything to cause this. I feel so bad for acting like a child. I go into his room and it is dark, so I head to the music room. It is dark as well. Okay, so maybe he is cleaning up the kitchen. When I get to the kitchen, I see a note folded on the bar.
“Am headed into the City to stay at the condo tonight. I think you need some downtime. I am so sorry I upset you. Wasn’t what I was trying to do. Sleep well and call me when you want to talk. Ash”.
Dammit! Why did I act like I did? I know he didn’t mean anything, but reminiscing about Alan just hit a nerve and set me off. I start to cry again. Ash has left a cup and tea bag out on the counter, as if he knows what I need, so I make myself a cup of tea and head up to my room. When I get into bed, my phone goes off, signaling a text. It’s from Ash. “Just wanted you to know that I made it to the condo. Text me when you get into bed so I’ll know you’re okay…didn’t mean to upset you. I.love.you.more.than.you.know!”
I text him back immediately, so he won’t worry. “Hi…sorry I overreacted. Am in bed now. Didn’t mean for you to have to leave your house to get away from me. Love you back!”
Chapter 15
I cry myself to sleep and wake early the next morning. I shower and go down to make coffee. Reba is already there and is cleaning the kitchen.
“Good morning Mrs. Petersen. Mr. Harper called me last night and told me that he would be staying at the condo for a few days.”
There is a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers on the bar next to my coffee cup. In the bouquet is a balloon with a sun shining on it. As if he knows exactly where I am standing at the exact time, my phone goes off and there is a text from Ash. “Mornin’, Sunshine! Hope you slept well. Missed sleeping with you, but know now that you need some space. Am gonna stay at the condo for a few days to give you time and space. I’m here if you need me. Hope you have a great day! Ash.”
I wonder if Reba had a hand in this—I suspect she did, but she doesn’t say anything.
“What would you like me to make for dinner?”
“Reba, that isn’t necessary, really.”
“Well, I was going to make a pot of soup, so if you want, I’ll put it in the fridge ready for you when you get home this evening. There’s fresh lunchmeat, cheese, and deli bread as well.”
“Reba, you are the best! Thanks so much. And I also wanted to tell you how much we appreciated your Thanksgiving goodies. Tommy was all smiles when he saw your cookies—he wasn’t sharing with anyone!”
“My pleasure, Mrs. Petersen! Tommy is my favorite. I am so happy he liked them!”
I realize that the weather has turned icy, and I ask Reba about driving in ice. “Can you give me a crash course, no pun intended in driving on icy roads?”
“Well, the cars have snow tires, so you are safe, but I am happy to drive you into work and will be happy to come pick you up after if you want.”
“Oh! Reba thanks! I didn’t even think about having to drive in this!”
I am really glad Reba is taking me to work. She drives like a pro in this ice. I know I would have had a wreck just from the anxiety. I definitely need to learn winter driving. As we head to the store, my cell rings.
“Olivia?”
“Yes, speaking.”
“Hi this is Abby Linderman. Listen, Sarah said you would be calling for an appointment and I wanted to let you know that I have some time this afternoon at four. I was supposed to be in mediation, but my client’s soon-to-be-ex had a heart attack last night, so the mediation was pushed back.”
“Oh, how awful! Yes, of course, Abby. I can be there at four. I appreciate your taking the time to see me.”
“All righty! See you then.”
I turn to Reba and tell her that I have an appointment at four. “Reba, I have no car to get to my appointment…what do I do?”
“Well, what-say you let me come pick you up and take you? I have no plans, so I can take you wherever you need to go.”
I suspect Ash had a hand in this. “Reba, did Mr. Harper ask you to do this?”
“Yes, Miss Olivia, he just asked that I take you to wherever you needed to go today. I can’t lie. Look, I am not asking about your personal life or anything, but my gut tells me things in the apple cart are tipped over about now. I’ve had my apple cart tipped over too many times, so I know how all that stuff goes. I’m just saying that I am happy to help out wherever I can. You are good people, Miss Olivia, and I will do whatever I can to help out.”
“Reba, that means more than you know. Thank you so much. I appreciate you.” She squeezes my hand and I know that there is an alliance between us.
“Mr. Harper, he cares deeply for you, you know.” That’s all she says, and her words go deep into my heart. “So, I’ll come back after you about three-thirty—sound okay, Miss Olivia?”
“Perfect, Reba! See you then.”
We are super busy at the shop today. Sarah is okay with me leaving early to meet with Abby. Sarah and I are excited that Emily will be starting tomorrow, since things are really getting busy with the holidays approaching. I’ve made a list of things to go over with her. At three-thirty, I leave the shop and head for Abby’s office. I am totally nervous, not knowing what to expect. This whole situation is beyond my comprehension and I am out of my comfort zone. I so wish Lainey was here with me. She would know what to do.
Reba is parked in front of the shop in plenty of time to get me to Abby’s office. I get in her car and she winks at me. With such confidence, she says, “Gonna be ok, Miss Olivia”
We get to Abby’s office and she tells me that she will be waiting in the car. I get out and go into the lobby. Shaking, I look on the marquee and see that Abby’s office is on the eleventh floor. I take the elevator up and have to catch my breath. God! I wish Ash was here with me, but I can do this by myself. I find her office and the receptionist greets me.
“You must be Olivia Petersen. I’ll just let Abby know you’re here. Please, have a seat. Can I get you a coffee?”
“Oh yes! Coffee would be great. Black, no sugar please.” Deep breath, Olivia! Remember, you can do this!
After about ten minutes a petite, hell-on-wheels looking lady comes into the reception area. “Hi Olivia,” she says, “I’m Abby Linderman. Please, come in.”
Abby leads me into her office. It’s a really nice contemporary office She motions me to sit across from her desk. I notice a box of tissues next to the chair I’m sitting in. God! I hope I don’t need these today. She takes a seat behind her desk, puts her hands behind her head and says, “So, the bastard wants a divorce, huh?”
“Yep, that’s what’s going down in my world.”
“Well, let’s see what we need to do to get you from point A to point B”
I immediately feel comfortable with her. She is very attractive, with curly auburn hair, blue eyes, probably her early fifties, and she seems like a real fire-eater. Just what I need!
I give her the papers I was served with and tell her about my almost thirty-year marriage and how it has fallen apart.
“Well, first off, we will do an asset search. Do you have any idea what you guys have in regards to money, property, and debts owed? Any idea of what bills are due?” she asks.
I tell her that Alan has always handled everything. “I think the house is paid for. Actually, I’m sure it is. I’m not sure about the cars and credit cards. I guess I’m stupid, but I let him handle everything.”
“Not stupid, Olivia, just over-trusting. Time to stop trusting and start living. We will start by getting
some temporary alimony arranged. You do have full time work, right?”
“Yes, I am full time at Sarah’s shop. Our things will be delivered soon, and Sarah is helping me arrange storage for everything. I have no idea what I am going to do and this is freaking me out.”
“Understandably, Olivia, but I will make sure this goes your way. The bastard will have to pay for this. It’s my job to make sure you’re taken care of, so you will have to trust me and not go soft on me, even when you want to. Agreed?”
“Yes, ma’am! I will let you handle everything.”
She points her finger at me. “If the bastard or his attorney contact you, you are not to talk to them under any circumstances. Refer them to me. You don’t need to be talking to the ex. Anything he has to say, he can say to his attorney and his attorney can relay to me. Got it? Are we crystal clear?”
“Absolutely.clear!” I affirm.
“So tell me about this bastard Alan.”
I begin my history. “Well, we married thirty years ago. We have three grown kids, and I just moved here about three months ago when his company transferred him here. We were lucky enough to move in with Ash until we could find our own place, but I guess this is not going to be our own place, but rather my own place. I need to move out of Ash’s house and become independent, don’t you think?”
“Yes, I think that with the impending divorce, it would be better if you did find an apartment and move out on your own. Even though Alan initiated the divorce, it would be best if you found your own place. I know that Ash is very fond of you—and I suspect that you feel the same. He is a wonderful guy. But for the sake of the divorce, it would be best if you were out on your own. We want to get you everything you deserve, money and property, so being on your own is paramount, now. So, if you want me to represent you, then let me get started doing what I do best, and you let me take the wheel…. Do we have a deal?”
“Deal, Abby. Thanks so much. I do trust you, and I will do whatever you think I should do.”
“Very well! So, first, you need to find an apartment and move. I can recommend some places. A small place, just for the time being. After the divorce, you can move back in with Ash if that’s what you want, but for now, trust me, an apartment is where you need to live. You are the wife who was left for another woman, not the wife who is living with a wealthy widower…get my drift?”
Out of The Box Awakening Page 14