Damn! I haven’t told Emily what’s going on in my life, so I can’t blame her, but this is definitely what I don’t need today.
Alan sits across from me and takes my hands. “Olivia, look, I am so sorry about all the pain I have caused you. I really didn’t intend for things to fast track the way they did. I feel like I need to explain a few things to you.”
I feel anxiety coming on and I don’t want him to think that this even fazes me. Just keep your cool, Olivia… Keep your cool…Deep breath!
“Alan, you don’t need to explain anything to me. Your kids are the ones who deserve an explanation. They are devastated and didn’t deserve this. I’ve moved on and will be just fine. I really don’t want to talk about the divorce with you and I definitely don’t want to know a thing about your little play toy.”
“Olivia…, Look she and I have been seeing each other—”
I hold up my hand and cut him off. “Alan, please….not interested…don’t care. You’ve made it clear that you don’t want to be married to me anymore, so there really isn’t anything left to say, or anything that I would care about anyway. Are we clear? Anything you want to say to me, your attorney can convey to my attorney.”
“Believe me, babe, I will make it right with the kids. I’ve talked to Bradley, but not Dalton and Lainey. I will in good time, and all I can hope for is that they understand.”
“First off, don’t call me ‘babe,’ and second, well, you do know that Lainey is pregnant, don’t you? Of course, you missed the formal announcement at Thanksgiving dinner, unfortunately.”
“Yes, Bradley told me. I swear I will make it right with her.”
“Just tell me one thing Alan—was this the first time you cheated on me?”
He looks down and the table takes a deep breath, and I don’t think I want to hear the truth. Ash said he thought Alan had cheated before, but hearing it… Do I really want to know?
“No, it wasn’t. You asked, so I’ll be honest. Look, I have been with other women. It was for sex. Until this time, it was all just physical. Traveling like I did and all….a man has needs after all….”
Okay. Slap in the face…the ugly truth.
“Ahhhh, right, traveling and all. Good thing to blame it on, Alan. Classic excuse!”
Fighting tears, I look over to the coffee counter and I see Jocelyn. Holy crap! The absolute one person I don’t want to see right now. She recognizes me, smiles a totally fake smile and waves. I casually wave back, hoping she won’t get on her phone and blab to Ellen, but I know she is chomping at the bit to do just that. Her friend was the one who dated Ash, so I suspect she will tell Ellen that she saw me holding hands with another man. I probably should call Ash, but decide I’ll do it in private tonight. Surely he’ll understand.
“Look Alan, I have to get back to work…some people have to work for a living.”
“Olivia, whatever you want from our things, feel free to take. I don’t want anything but my guns and coins.”
“Well, how totally nice of you, but my attorney will work things out. I have our things in storage, and I’m sure she will want you to go over and get what you want.”
He looks concerned. “So, are you living at Ash’s house still?”
“For now, but I am in the process of moving into an apartment. I will be on my own soon, so you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I do worry about you. I’ll provide for you financially, Olivia. This isn’t about money.”
“Alan, I appreciate that.” I think to myself...oh you have no idea how you are going to provide for me financially!
He offers to pay for my lunch, and I feel liberated in telling him that I will pay for my own, as well as his coffee.
I walk out of the coffee shop and back to the store. Emily meets me at the door.
“Hey, Olivia! Some guy came in and asked where he could find you. He said he was a relative.”
“He found me. Thanks. So, were we busy while I was gone?” I hope she doesn’t ask more. More than that, I hope Alan doesn’t come in here. This is my one place of refuge, and I don’t want him contaminating it.
Later in the day we aren’t busy, so I head over to the nursery to pick out my tree. Ash told me to ask for Sam, so I do. An older black man comes up to me.
“Hi, Miss Olivia! I’m Sam. Mr. Harper said you would be coming in to pick out a tree. I’ve taken the liberty and selected five for you to look at. Follow me, and if you don’t like what I’ve picked, we’ll keep looking until you do.”
We go into the back and there are five beautiful trees… all of them twelve feet tall. My eye immediately goes to the perfect one.
“Sam, I think this one is it!”
“Yes, ma’am, that’s the one I was thinking of for you. It’s a noble fir—the Cadillac of Christmas trees! So, when would you like it delivered?”
“Would Saturday morning be okay?”
“Absolutely, ma’am! I can have the guys at your house by nine. Will that work? They’ll set it up in the stand and get you ready to put those lights on. Do you need lights? If you do, we have some here. I would suggest about twelve hundred lights for your size tree.”
“Yes. Thank you so much, Sam.”
“Oh, my pleasure, Miss Olivia! You’re gonna love this one…she’s a real beauty. And listen, please tell Mr. Harper that Sam says hello.”
I can’t even imagine how much all this costs, but I don’t care. It’s perfect.
On my way back to the office, I decide to call Todd and tell him about my matchmaking plans. I dial his number and he answers.
“Talk to me!”
“Todd, hi. Um, this is Olivia.”
“Yeah, I kinda thought so,” he says.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Well, let’s see—I have you in my contacts, and your ringtone is ‘My Amigo’ by KOL?”
I laugh. “Seriously? Todd, you are too funny! I’m honored to be in your contacts. Look, is this a bad time?”
“Well, uhhhh, actually, it kinda is, I mean……”
Oh.My.God! I am totally embarrassed! Did I call while he was in bed with someone? Ewwww! Awkward!
“Oh, my God! I am so sorry! Can you umm… just… Ummm, can you call me back later, then?”
He gives a shout of laughter. “Olivia! I was just teasing. I’m not really busy. What? Did you think you caught me screwing or something?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Well, contrary to what you might think, I don’t screw all the time. Geez! I’m actually by myself right now, so you caught me at a good time and with my pants up for a change. So, what’s up…did you finally decide to get your tattoo and want me to come with you?”
“No… I haven’t decided on that yet. I wanted to talk to you about something else.”
“Okay—shoot!”
“Well, I don’t know if Tommy has mentioned that y’all are coming over Saturday night to help me put Christmas lights on the tree yet, but…”
“Wait! You want us to get on the ladder to put up lights so you won’t fall and bust your ass, but we will?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“ Just kidding! Yeah, Tommy said we were coming over. Sounds like fun. Got beer?”
“Yes, of course. Beer and food!”
“All righty, then. Will work for food and beer.”
“There’s something else. I have a girl from work coming over. I want to introduce her to Tommy and…uhhhh….”
“And you don’t want me hitting on her, right?”
“Well, again, something like th
“Olivia, I’m sure if you picked her, she is hot as hell, but if you picked her for Tommy, I’ll keep my hands off. Promise”
“Oh, thanks Todd! I think she’s perfect for Tommy, and I hope they get along.”
“Okay, Olivia, I’ll keep my hands to myself and I’ll help any way I can. I think it’s pretty awesome that you found someone for him. God knows, he needs someone special in hi
s life. So is she cute?”
“Of course! I wouldn’t pick anyone for him or you who wasn’t perfect!”
“So, are you looking for someone for me? Here’s the deal…she has to have real boobs, some fine ass tattoos, and a nice tight ass.”
“Okay, Todd. So where do you suggest I go to look for someone with those specifications?” I chuckle, and then add, “I’ll keep my eye out for you, Todd…you’re next to get fixed up, but you may have to bend a bit.”
“Olivia, you have no idea how good I can bend!” He’s having too much fun, snickering mischievously. “Girl! I love to tease you. You do know it’s just fun teasing, right? You don’t get offended, do you?”
“Todd, I totally have you figured out! No offense taken. I take your teasing as a compliment. See you guys Saturday!”
“We’ll be there. Ready to climb up that ladder and bust our asses! The rest of the guys may come too. The more the merrier, right?”
“Absolutely! I would love to have you all come. I’m making my famous tortilla soup and cornbread. Beer too, of course!”
“Sounds yummy, Olivia. See ya Saturday. So, how do you like my ringtone for you?”
“Gotta love it! You’re the best.”
The rest of the day passes quickly and I head home. Thank God there is no ice today, so I can drive myself. When I get in the house, I grab a glass of wine and head upstairs to change. I get a text. It’s from Ash.
“So, just curious as to why you didn’t call and let me know you were with Alan today. I thought I meant more to you than that. Guess I was wrong. Very pissed about now!”
Chapter 17
Well, damn you, Jocelyn! You conniving little bitch! Ok—so how do I respond to this? I decide not to text, but rather to call Ash.
It goes to his voice mail. I don’t leave a message. I send a text. “Call me please?”
He doesn’t return the text, and my heart sinks. Why do people have to start things? So should I call Ellen? Do I really want to involve her in this? Was she the one who called Ash? I decide to just lay low and wait. Maybe he will call me back soon.
The hours pass and still no word from Ash. I’m beginning to worry. He must really be upset because he always calls or texts right back. At midnight, I decide that I just need to go to bed. Obviously, he’s too upset to talk to me tonight. I toss and turn all night, and then the tears start. I cry myself to sleep.
Around 2:00 a.m., my phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Olivia? Heeey! Whasss up??” It’s Ash and he sounds like he has been drinking.
“Ash, is that you?”
“Well, who the hell else would be calling you at this hour…Alan maybe? Or, better yet, is he there with you?”
“Ash Harper! You’re drunk! And no, Alan is not here with me! I can’t believe Jocelyn would take what she saw out of context. What a bitch!”
“Heeey, don’t use that kind of language, honey, it’s unbecoming to you.”
I sense that this conversation is going nowhere. He is too intoxicated to carry on an intelligent conversation. “Look Ash, why don’t you get some sleep and call me in the morning? Are you with Wesley and Hayden?”
“With who? Oh, yeah… the boys! Nope, they dropped me off at my hotel after diner and I’ve been in the club. Back in my room now.” I hear something fall and I think he’s knocked something off the nightstand. “Oops! You still there? Sorry ‘bout that. Dropped my glass.”
“Ash, listen, I love you—I will explain everything to you tomorrow when you’re sober. There is no point in us even talking about this tonight. You’re incorrigible! God, I miss you so much—even when you’re drunk out of your mind! I miss you!”
“Well, little lady, I kinda miss you too. Even though I’m beyond pissed at you! I’m really, really pissed! So, do you want to have phone sex or something, while I have you on the line?”
“What? What in the world are you talking about, Ash? What have you been drinking, and why would you even say something like that?” My voice cracks and I start to cry.
Then he realizes he has upset me. Almost immediately, he starts to sober up. “Olivia, look, honey, I’m sorry. You’re right, I have been drinking very heavily. I thought you had gotten back together with Alan. Jocelyn called me and said she saw you two holding hands across the table just like you and I do. I just went nuts. I started thinking all the worst things. I just can’t stand the thought of him touching you or talking to you. Honey, my world kinda fell apart and I had a little meltdown. I’m sorry I upset you. I’ll call you in the morning honey. You still love me?”
“Of course I do! Just get some sleep. I will too.”
“Okay, honey. I’m finished drinking. Nothing left in the bottle… see?” He laughs at his own joke. He’s still slurring his words, and I know he’s going to feel pretty rough in the morning.
“Oh, Ash! Please call room service and get some coffee, then take a shower and go to bed.”
“Hmmmm. A shower? That sounds like fun. I sure wish you were here to hop in with me. I could lather you up and rinse you off.”
I think he will probably have one hell of a headache in the morning. “Night my love…sleep tight!”
“Night-night to you, too, Sunshine. Don’t forget that I am really, really pissed off at you right now. Really pissed!”
I am so wound up and pissed myself that I can’t even begin to sleep. I go downstairs and fix a cup of hot tea. It’s three in the morning and I’m wide-ass awake. Jocelyn, on the other hand is probably curled up in her nice warm bed, sleeping soundly. She definitely hasn’t heard the last of me! The one thing I am relieved about is that Ellen wasn’t the one who called Ash. I should have suspected it was Jocelyn. Deep down, I think she has a thing for him and resents the fact that he pays her no attention. It doesn’t seem like Ellen to meddle in someone else’s business. I’ll have to see if she has anything to say about it on Saturday. I have no idea what I’ll say to Jocelyn when and if I run into her again. I certainly don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she’s gotten to me. I need to stay one step ahead of the game with her and put her in her place in a clever way. I’ll have to think on that one.
I get what I hope is the last text of the evening. It is from Mr. Intoxicated Ash Harper. “Nkgjight nijgt my love. Goinf to bed now I wuf you! Stlle pisd off!”
Well, toasty texting definitely isn’t his forte, but I feel better knowing that he is in his room safe and going to bed.
After a really restless night, the first thing to greet me in the morning is a text. It is, of course from Ash. “Mornin’, Sunshine! Guess I have some apologizing to do, don’t I?“
I text back… “Well, maybe we both do. Feelin’ all right today?”
“Of course, why would you ask that? Just kidding. I feel like holy hell! A”
Lainey calls to check in as I’m driving to work. “Hey, Mom! How are things going? You okay?”
“Hello, my love! Yes. I’m fine. How are you doing? Feeling okay?”
“Doing just great, Mom! No morning sickness yet—keep your fingers crossed.”
“Well, things are good here. I’m in the process of looking for an apartment. Work is great. Our things are in storage. Oh, and Dad stopped by to talk to me yesterday. Guess he’s in town for a while.”
“So, how did that go?”
“Nothing earth shattering. I just told him that I’m ready to move on and that he owes you and your brothers an explanation.”
“And you too, Mom“
“Nope! I don’t want any explanations. Matter of fact; I told him that whatever communication he wants with me needs to go through my attorney. All I want to do is just move on and not look back, Lainey.”
“I just can’t believe this has happened. Never in a million years would I have thought my parents would end up getting divorced.”
“Well, never in a million years would I have thought that either, but it is what it is, my dear.”
“So, you don’t want
to continue staying at Ash’s until after the divorce?”
“Well, I would, and Ash has offered to let me stay, but Abby, my attorney thinks it would be best if I moved out on my own and didn’t give the impression I was being ‘taken care of by a wealthy widower” I chuckle.
“Mom, don’t you mean a handsome, wealthy widower? Just kiddin’, Mom! So, do you think after the divorce you’ll date?”
“Oh heavens, child! I can’t even think about things like that now. Geez! I’m not even out of this one yet. Plus, I’m gonna be a grandmother, you know. Can’t be too much of a party gal! Well, gotta go. Just pulled up at work. Love you. Give Kel a hug and take care of my grandbaby.”
“Okay, Mom. Check in with me. I’m on the need-to-know list. I love you!”
I wonder if the kids are expecting me to date. What will they do when they find out I already kinda have?
I should probably call the boys tonight. I haven’t been very good at staying in touch with the kids, and I know that right now they need me as much as I need them. Strength in numbers, as my mother used to say. Sometimes, though, I just don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even want to think about the bad things in my life. The good thing I have with Ash is not something I can share just yet, and I’m afraid that I’ll let on to the kids the kind of relationship Ash and I have. I seriously don’t know how they’ll react. I don’t know… Maybe they already suspect something. Maybe they’ll hold it against me and think that I should have tried to reconcile with Alan. Or, better, maybe they will be happy for me. I would hope that latter is true. I know they have questions…questions for which I quite frankly don’t have answers. I’m the mom and I’m supposed to have answers, but in this case, I’ve failed miserably. Hell, I wish I had the answers!
When I get to the office, there is a beautiful floral arrangement waiting for me.
“This arrived for you this morning” Emily says. “Boy! Someone must love you!”
There is a beautiful sunflower arrangement and a card. “So, I guess I maybe overreacted. Just my jealous side…Sorry! Love You! Ash”
Shortly after, my phone rings. He always knows the perfect time to call! “Liv? Are you still fuming at me?”
Out of The Box Awakening Page 17