As for the house, it is decorated to the hilt! I have decorated every room and it is a Christmas paradise! Ash marvels at how beautiful things are, and I can’t believe he is so excited. Tommy has come for dinner a couple of times and I desperately want to ask how things are going, but Ash’s words echo in my head.
“You’ve got to let them work it out, Olivia. Don’t get involved.”
As much as I hate that, I realize that he’s right. He’s always right. That’s one of the many things I love about him. Speaking of the many things I love about him, he has brought me flowers and takeout food tonight.
“Come here, Liv! We’ve had so much going on in our lives lately that we’ve neglected ourselves. I’ve been on edge with the Tommy-Tony-Emily ordeal, and for that I’m sorry. I know I snapped at you the other night. I really wasn’t lashing out at you…it’s just that I was upset about the whole situation. My life has been so routine, but lately routine just hasn’t been on the menu. I just want you to know that I do love you, and I miss us!”
He takes me into his arms, and suddenly I feel so safe and secure. We talk about what we want in our lives. While our kids are our first priority, we both realize that we need to concentrate on the life we have left and the fact that we’re not getting any younger.
“Liv, I know the kids…yours and mine mean the world to us, but dammit! We need to think about ourselves. Our kids are grown, and for the most part don’t need us on a daily basis. Hell, I’m approaching full retirement. You don’t need to be working. I just want to take care of you.”
“Ash, I’ve been taken care of my whole life—well, financially, anyway. I’ve only just now started working and being independent. I desperately need that right now.”
“But I can take care of you, hon. I want to. I want to spoil you and show you how much I love you. You deserve that.”
“But I need this job. It makes me feel like I do have a place in this world. I love you with all my heart and I know you can take care of me—better than I could ever imagine. But “I” got lost in translation for the past thirty-something years and I’m just coming to realize that there is a me to Olivia. Please don’t deny me that, Ash. It doesn’t mean I don’t want or need you, because I do. I need you with every breath I have! I thank my lucky stars every single day that I have your love. You’ve made me feel more in the past few months than I think I’ve ever felt in my whole life. I want to go on this journey with you. It scares the hell out of me, but I know with all my heart that you are the love of my life and we’re destined to be together!”
“I feel the same, Olivia, I swear. No woman has ever made me feel the way you do. I just pray that we have enough years left to sail off into the sunset together. I can’t wait until the divorce is final, so that we can move onto the next phase of our lives together. I want you to have your independence, and I know you like working. I respect the hell out of you. You are smart, pretty, talented, loving, and the real deal. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to work to be secure financially. I have more money than you know. You have no idea about my finances, I know, but I want you to know that you will never want for anything. I want to share that with you and give you everything you deserve. Once we can move onto the next phase of our relationship, I fully intend to show you, I promise, honey! I just don’t want to lose us! I miss us. I need us. We both need us.”
“Ash, I miss us too! I hear everything you’re saying, and I know what you’re trying to tell me. Your money, it doesn’t matter to me, really. The true wealth lies in our relationship. That means more to me than all the money in the world. I don’t need the money as long as we have each other.”
“Olivia, that’s one of the things I love most about you. You love unconditionally!”
“Yes, I do! Enough heart to heart talk, Mr. Wealthy Ash Harper! I do have an idea, though…you interested?”
“I love your ideas. Whatcha thinking?”
“Let’s grab a bottle of champagne and cop a bath!”
“Uggghhh! Olivia, please don’t say the word cop…I’ve had enough cops for a while!”
We fall into a huge hug and laugh!
“Okay, Ash, no cops! I promise!”
He affectionately swats my behind. He goes into the kitchen and comes back with two champagne glasses and a wonderfully expensive bottle of bubbly. Then he strips down naked. Dear God! Could a man possibly be this beautiful? I take off my clothes and he stands back, holding his arms out.
“My God! Look at you. You are the most amazingly beautiful woman in the whole wide world Olivia. How in the world did I deserve you? Just look at you!”
He takes me over in front of the mirror. I have my eyes closed and I’m embarrassed.
“Open your eyes. Just look at you!”
I keep my eyes closed tight and I wrinkle up my face. I really don’t want to look at myself naked in the mirror. This is definitely uncomfortable for me.
“Open. Come on now! Look at you! Look at us!”
We’re both naked, standing in front of the mirror. There is nothing but candlelight. I’m standing in front of him and he’s rubbing my arms. He moves to the side so that we are standing side-by-side, naked, just staring into the mirror.
“Just look, Olivia! Isn’t this just the most beautiful thing in the world? You and me. Ash and Olivia. Us!”
We stand there, and I do open my eyes. It is a beautiful sight. I can honestly say that it is beautiful. Suddenly, I don’t feel ashamed about my body. He makes me feel beautiful! We stand in front of the mirror and watch each other, touching different parts of our bodies, caressing and kissing softly. He tenderly carries me over to the bath and we immerse ourselves, momentarily forgetting about kids, cops, ex-husbands, work, and life. We just lie wrapped in each other, enjoying our us time. God! I love us time! I could just stay in this bath until I prune!
When we get out and dry off, he rubs me down with my favorite lotion. We brush each other’s teeth—another first for me. I’ve never brushed a man’s teeth. We spit water at each other and get it all over the mirror. I start to clean it off and he reminds me that Reba will be here tomorrow, which distracts me. Oh, how clever! He gets another mouth full of water and sprays me with it.
“Ash Harper, I can spit better than you…you’d better watch out!” I get a mouth full and spew him good. We’ve gotten water all over the mirror. “So, what do you think Reba will think when she sees this, Mr. Harper? We’ve made a blooming mess!”
“She’ll probably think we had an amazing night, which we did!”
He picks me up, swats my behind yet again, and carries me into bed. We lie naked, nothing but skin to skin. Just the feel of him pressed up against me makes me feel so secure, so, so safe. No one can come between us. Soft music plays; the only light in the room is from the outside. I am totally at peace. We lie on our backs, my leg slung over his. I’m lying on his shoulder and he’s stroking my left arm, softly. Our feet rub each other, and I think to myself what soft beautiful feet he has. I smile. Of course he can’t see me, but still I smile.
“Liv?”
“Yes?”
“I love you more than life itself.”
I smile. “Ash?”
“Yes?”
“I love you back more than you love me more than life itself!”
“Liv?”
“Yes?”
“I seriously doubt it!”
I smile again, and in my heart I know he means it.
We sleep totally wrapped in each other’s arms. I don’t think either one of us moves all night. We wake in exactly the same position we fell asleep in. I am, without a doubt, the luckiest woman in the world!
Ash gets up before me and, of course, has coffee made and is reading the paper when I come into the kitchen. “Mornin’, Sunshine!”
“Mornin’, love of my life!”
“Paper?”
“Yes please.” As I read, he tells me that on Sunday morning we will be headed into the City to the Christkindlmarket
.
“Liv, you and the kids are going to love it! I promise, I’ve got the best day planned for us! I’ve arranged for us to stay at the condo Sunday night, so we don’t have to drive home.”
“You know, we aren’t supposed to be talking kids, but Ash! You think of everything! I love you so much!”
“Me too, hon! I’m so looking forward to having everyone at the house, but you have to promise me something”
“Anything!”
“Well, promise me that we can still have ‘our time.’ Last night, with you sleeping in my arms, skin on skin, was absolutely amazing! I need that, Liv. Don’t ever go back to your room. From now on, my room is our room.”
“I do promise you our time will be priority!”
“Pinkie swear?”
“Pinkie swear forever!”
We cross pinkies, and he kisses me and says, “Olivia, are you mine? I mean truly mine?”
“Yes, of course, silly! I am yours and you are mine.”
He takes my face into his hands. “Okay, so from this day forward, you are mine and I am yours. And remember, we did pinkie swear! Mine?” he asks me.
“Yes, Yours?”
“Will you move in and make my room our room, please?“
“Yours, do you really think it’s a good idea for me to move into your room with Christmas coming and the kids coming here?”
“Mine, they aren’t stupid. You said Lainey knows about us. Tommy is bound to know by now. Bradley, well, we can sit them all down and talk to them. I have nothing to hide. This isn’t just a fling or an affair, so I don’t see the point in pretending anymore. Let’s just get things out in the open. I’m game. Are you?”
“You’re probably right, but I just feel, you know…I’m a mother…I’m almost fifty-eight years old. I haven’t been with anyone else besides Alan in thirty years. And telling our kids that we’re an item and sleeping together in the same room while I’m technically still married? Ehhh, not so easy.”
“Well, Mine, I can honestly say that we are more than an item. I think we’ve already established that!”
“Point taken, Yours! I promise I’ll think on it and have my people contact your people.” I wink at him and blow him a kiss.
He grabs me for a hug. “Oh, by the way, Ellen has invited us to her house for Christmas, and she and David are having a New Year’s Eve party. We really do have to go for Christmas, hon. I hope you don’t mind”
“Not at all. I’m looking forward to it!”
“And on New Year’s Eve, I figure the kids will probably want to go and watch the band play, so if you would do me the honor of being my date on New Year’s Eve, I promise to reward you with the most amazing kiss at midnight—a show stopper!”
“I would love nothing more than to be your date, and believe me; I do expect an over the top kiss!“
“Ash?”
“Yes, Mine?”
“I haven’t done Christmas shopping for my kids yet. I know what I want to get them, though. Want to go shopping with me sometime this week?”
“Of course! My schedule is actually pretty free this week. How about I take you to work in the morning and I’ll pick you up and we’ll go after work. We can grab dinner after.”
“Awww! Thank you, Ash. How sweet!”
“So, what are you thinking of getting them? Any ideas?”
“Yes, actually. I know exactly what I want to get them. I am thinking about briefcases or laptop cases. Since Lainey landed her blow dry salon account, I’d love to get her a nice leather briefcase. I thought I’d do that for all of them…maybe laptop cases for the boys.”
“I have the perfect place to shop, then. I’ll pick you up and we’ll go to Northbrook. We’ll shop and then grab some dinner. So tell me, have you done any other shopping, so far?”
I tell Ash that I’ve ordered custom designed guitar straps for the guys from a company called Ovation Leather in El Paso.
“Custom designed? Olivia, that’s awesome. They’re going to love that! How in the world did you come up with that idea?”
“Knowing music is pretty much their life made it pretty much a no brainer. And I’ve seen their guitar straps, which don’t appear to be anything special. I wanted to give them something that was designed especially for them and reflected a little bit of who each one is. I did a little research and this company does incredible work. Their designer came up with a design for each of them with their initials and something unique on each one. I told him a little bit about each guy and he sent me drawings of what he came up with for each one, which totally exceeded my expectations. I can’t wait until they get here!”
“And what, my dear did you come up with for Brian?”
“Oh, that’s even better.”
“Do tell!”
“Well, I don’t know too much about famous drummers, but I wanted to get him something from a drumming rock legend. I just remember that Iron Butterfly did a fabo drum solo back in the ‘70s and it was the best! Remember?”
“Ummmmm, of course I remember.”
“Well, I got Brian a pair of autographed Ron Bushy drumsticks.”
“Seriously? No kidding? Where the hell did you find them?”
“Oh, my dear, you can do anything on the Internet. I also had them authenticated, so they’re the real deal.”
“Liv, he’s gonna love them!”
“I sure hope so.”
Ash cocks his head to the side and brushes my face with his hand. “Once again, this solidifies why you are ‘Mine.’”
Ash is right on time to pick me up after work and we head to the mall to shop. He picks me up in his Mercedes. As we’re driving, I feel much better knowing that I am getting shopping done, since I feel like I’m really behind. We arrive at the mall and begin our shopping quest like we’re on a mission because Ash knows exactly where we’re headed apparently. “Where are we starting out?”
“Just follow me!” He takes my hand as we walk into the Louis Vuitton store and I look at him confused. “What are we doing here?”
“Well, you said you wanted a brief case and laptop cases…”
“Well, yeah, I did, but I can’t afford anything in here, Ash, you know that.” I sort of sense where this is going.
“Let’s just look…come on.” He takes my hand and leads me into the store.
Of course, I would love to have absolutely every piece in this store! I can honestly say that I don’t have an LV bag, but would kill to have one for myself! We browse all the exquisite items and a sales lady comes over to us.
“Mr. Harper! How good to see you!”
“Gabrielle, my friend! Good to see you as well!”
“So, what can I help you find tonight?”
“We’re looking for a lady’s briefcase and three laptop cases for men. Can you help us?”
“Of course I can! Let me just pull some things for you to look at. Please…”
She directs us over to the counter and we sit. I’m not surprised that he knows the sales lady…of course he does! He knows everyone! I wonder what he’s bought here before and for whom. Suddenly, I feel a pang of jealousy, for which I have no basis of feeling. Gabrielle is a very pretty young lady. Maybe it’s the way she looks at Ash. Maybe I should just damn stop over-thinking things. Geez! Sometimes I make myself so mad!
She pulls several choices and he looks at them all, inspecting them with precision. I look at them all, and they are beautiful. She looks to him for his assessment.
“Well, I would say the Cupertino for Lainey and the Steeve for the boys.” Ash says, “What do you think, hon?”
I am speechless. There is no way in hell I can afford these, and he’s put me on the spot.
“They’re beautiful. Just beautiful. Wow!”
He smiles at Gabrielle. “Well, you heard what the lady said I think she likes them!”
“Very good choices, Mr. Harper! So, yes?”
“Yes to all Gabrielle. We’ll take all four!” She takes them to the register to get b
oxed up. He slips her his credit card, trying to be discreet, but I see him. My face is hot and I am really agitated as I discreetly pull Ash over in the corner.
“Ash, dammit! You know I can’t afford these. No way in hell I can do this! This little transaction is probably no less than nine grand and it definitely isn’t in my budget! I was thinking of spending about eight hundred to a thousand total on their gifts! Can’t we just go to some other places and look around some more, please?”
“Liv, look, the kids deserve this. Please let me do this and don’t fight me.”
“Ash, Hellllloooo? I can’t pay for this! You’ve totally put me on the spot and this is embarrassing! You know how much my independence means to me. I don’t want to be dependent on you to purchase my children’s Christmas gifts. Damn you!” I feel like I’m going to start crying and I’m so mad at myself.
Realizing he’s hit a nerve with me, he laughs and says, “Liv, look, you can pay me back if you want to. Just pay me back as you can. It’s not a big deal, and I seriously don’t know why you’re making this into a big dilemma. Please, let’s just Christmas shop and enjoy the evening, please? Come on. I’m having fun; I enjoy spending money on you and the kids. Look, just wait here and I’ll be right back”
The fact that he’s laughed really makes me mad. I feel as if he is dismissing the fact that he’s put me on the spot. I feel like he is trying to control and take charge of the situation. He leaves me fuming and goes over to the counter and is talking to Gabrielle. They are smiling and laughing. He gets the boxes, which have been put into beautiful shopping bags and comes over to me.
Out of The Box Awakening Page 28