“Believe me, in this ballroom there are men and women that delight themselves in magnificence in an almost Dionysian way. Don’t you think that Carolina is so sensitive as yourself. Flirting, or even an exchange of glances between the couples in the room, is nothing more than an accessory of these events, or as in any other social gathering in this city. I see that you have not yet acquired sufficient aisance[22] to participate in social events such as this.”
“But Mr. Rafael...”
“Have a good night, Miss!” And as soon as he said this, he turned around and walked away.
Lorena reddened like a beet as she heard that and didn’t have the courage to even follow him with her eyes as he walked away. She felt humiliated for what she heard, that she was not ready to attend the big ballrooms. Rafael abandoned her in front of the table where her parents were seated, thanking them for her company out of politeness, and went back to Carolina, as Lorena had mentioned just seconds before.
Mrs. Teodora reprimanded the daughter with her eyes. She discreetly got up, and left her husband alone, alleging that she needed a little bit of fresh air by the door, in company of Lorena. And as soon as they were by themselves, Mrs. Teodora changed her countenance, talking harshly to her daughter:
“But what do you think you are doing to me?” the mother asked her under her breath.
“Mom, it was not my fault!” Lorena tried to answer, already chocking with her words. “It was Mr. Rafael that insisted that we danced to another song.”
“You idiot! Didn’t you realize you were accompanied by a betrothed man? This can create gossip about you. Besides, where are your efforts to make sure someone courts you? By the way, have you already forgotten what we talked about?”
“No, my mother! I didn’t forget it...” Lorena was still shaken by the insult she heard from Rafael and now she had to endure her mother’s criticism.
“So make sure to change your countenance! You must smile and show yourself solicitous to those observing you.” Mrs. Teodora couldn’t care less about the single tear stubbornly trying to roll down Lorena’s cheek. “Obviously you must take notice if a man is accompanied or if is wearing a wedding ring. And from now on, stay away from Rafael Abrantes! I noticed that Leonor also became upset. That dândi[23] thinks that here is like Vienna or Paris where courting all the young ladies in a family is allowed, even if he is already betrothed... And even Carolina might also get upset with you!”
Lorena’s eyes were filled with tears.
“Swallow those tears!” the mother ordered, looking around.
“Please, mother!” the daughter begged, saddened. “I believe it is not possible...”
Mrs. Teodora opened her purse and put a handkerchief in Lorena’s hands.
“Quick! Wipe away your tears, for no man will want a lady with a sad face by his side... They will say you are sick or crazy!”
Going back inside, Lorena went to meet with Mercedes, and soon she was confessing all her ‘sins’ all over again.
“Goodness, what happened?” Mercedes was dying of curiosity. “Your mother’s face was dreadful, Lorena!”
“Tell me about it, my friend!”
“Was she yelling at you? Did she say something to offend you?”
“She yelled at me for dancing more than I should with Rafael Abrantes.”
“I thought so! Lorena, I know it is none of my business, but what were you two talking about! It was three songs!”
“Nothing much, Mercedes! Just small talk, nothing important... And Carolina, did she say something?”
“She kept quiet the whole time and answered all my questions with one-syllable words. I believe she wanted Rafael to stay by her side, even if only to satisfy her wishes.”
“It is all my fault, because I accepted his invitation...”
Mercedes decided to offer no comment to that, and stayed quiet. The event was already ruined for her friend...
“And where are the bride and groom?” Lorena asked looking around.
“Carolina complained that it was a little warm in here and went outside to get some fresh air with Rafael... Ah, Lorena! Why don’t you tell me what you two talked about?”
“You are so curious!” the friend complained.
“You are always complaining that I don’t share my secrets with you; and now, when the situation is inverse, I am the one called curious!”
“What an exaggeration!” Lorena responded, shrugging. “We talked about.... Let me see.... Trips! He was telling me about his latest trip to Italy and how Rome and Venice are beautiful during the summer!”
“You two were too happy dancing together to be talking simply about trips!” Mercedes said, with disbelief.
“Well, if you don't believe me, then don’t ask me!”
Lorena remembered her mother’s sharp words, which caused her renewed discomfort. It was true that she needed to find a husband, someone who could take her away from her boring life and who loved her dearly. However, her thoughts kept going back to the man that mistreated her tonight. Was it wrong to idealize the love she wanted so much? Why did her mother thought that she was naïve for simply wanting to find someone like the ones she read about in the novels?
Mr. Gaspar’s daughter was taken by a sudden rage because of what was expected of her. She would marry, all right, but only with the one that she chose to! And, in truth, this man was Rafael! She realized that in this conquering game she would have to be pretty smart. She knew how to move around the pieces of this Chess-like game and, at the right time, she would give the checkmate. And Lorena started moving her pawns around...
While she talked to Mercedes, she noticed that Carolina and her fiancée were coming back inside. She smiled at them, showing to herself that she had a great capacity to fake it up.
“Finally I have a chance to talk to you! You barely have any time to talk to one of your best friends anymore!”
“That’s an overstatement!” said Carolina. “I am just getting used to the idea of acting like a married woman, dedicating my full attention to my future husband.”
“I totally understand it”, answered Lorena. “Truly, you have always dedicated yourself a lot to everything you do, especially... Oh, I do remember well that you didn’t want to continue to take piano lessons and...”
“That’s different!” the girl answered, confused with her friend’s words.
“How is it different? As far as I know, one cannot give up things like this! If a little difficulty and you already get discouraged, imagine when something really challenging comes your way!”
“Carolina, I thought you wanted to continue our walk outside...” Rafael said, interrupting the beginning of an argument.
Carolina, disoriented by the tone of those words, let herself be guided by her fiancée, asking herself her friend’s intention for making such a comment like that. From that moment on, a feeling of restlessness was provoked by Lorena. And it was exactly the girl’s intention: to provoke! She would learn how to sharpen her tongue better instead of just trying to defend herself. This certainly would help to impair the adversary’s movements on that Chess-like game. She would learn how to be gentle and cordial when necessary, but she would also know how to be a ferocious lioness when needed in order to reach her goals.
Mercedes, who had been listening to the whole exchange, complained about Lorena’s attitude.
“But why did you have to talk like that in front of Rafael? Carolina will get embarrassed!”
“I don’t know... I wanted to and I don’t regret it! Besides, isn’t she the one that does this type of thing with others? Maybe this way she will learn a lesson...”
Considering herself smart as some of her heroines, Lorena couldn’t help but promise herself that Rafael would pay for the insult that he threw at her that night, she would make sure of it. He wouldn’t see it coming! Now, she just needed to please her mother and avoid a bigger conflict later on. She smiled and showed herself welcoming to all those who approached her. Even withou
t major flare, Lorena shone and enchanted many. She danced with several gentlemen, flirted with others, and made fun of some of the ladies that did not have the same gracefulness and vanity as herself. Overall, she behaved as the most perfect young lady in a social spectacle. Everything else she would learn with the nobility during the events sponsored by the Imperial Palace, displaying a title and a coat of arms worthy of her true condition.
Chapter VII
Luncheon[24] was served and Mr. Gaspar had woken up on that Monday morning in a very good mood. He had slept well the previous night, and thus had regained his vigor and energy that the new week would require of him. Unfortunately, alleging being tired from the event at the Cassino, once more he skipped church, excusing himself again for not participating at the Sunday mass, and being able to still receive the Blessed Sacrament. While the head of the family went on with his jokes and much talk, Mrs. Teodora and Lorena kept quiet, even with all his jokes at the table.
“Our Saturday wasn’t bad at all, was it?” he asked, while sipping from his cup of coffee. “I had the opportunity to discuss some ideas with General Figueiredo, and he seemed to be sensitive to the country’s current political panorama. He even mentioned the need for a possible agricultural reform. He is a man of vision!”
“That’s good that at least someone in this house had fun at that event...” Mrs. Teodora spoke, denouncing her dissatisfaction.
“But what is happening here?” He asked, without understanding.
“Ask your daughter, Mr. Gaspar!”
The father looked at her waiting for an answer, while the girl, silent, sipped her hot milk.
“My father, mother is criticizing me because no man courted me at the Cassino, even though I was pleasant and lovable to all gentlemen that approached me.”
“And what’s the matter?” Mr. Gaspar inquired, looking at his wife.
“There is no problem! Something really without too much importance, except for the fact that your daughter will continue to be single!” Mrs. Teodora contested, full of sarcasm.
“That is not such a big deal! By heavens, why so much drama? Besides, she is my daughter, and I will only allow a marriage if I approve the gentleman. That’s it! I have said it!” Mr. Gaspar became very angry at his wife’s words.
“But Mr. Gaspar...”
“THAT’S IT, MRS. TEODORA!”
“You never screamed at me before!” whined the wife.
“And I am tired of this war between you two, fighting each other as if you were not mother and daughter!”
Mrs. Teodora got up from the table as if she was leaving the room, but she was held in place by her husband’s firm hand.
“You will stay here!” the husband ordered, curt.
“I don’t intend to continue this argument with you, my husband!”
“Let alone myself! But now I want to see harmony and I don’t want war inside his house any more. In my house, may it be established that I will not tolerate this foul language, did you hear it, Mrs. Teodora?”
The wife nodded briefly, while a single tear run down her face. She had never been mistreated by her husband before.
“You insist that the girl has to marry as soon as possible...”
“She already is eighteen years old!”
“And what’s the problem with that?”
“You don’t care because you are not a woman! In our society, women do not choose; they are chosen! She is our only daughter, Mr. Gaspar!”
“And that’s exactly why I don’t want her to marry just anyone! No need to worry so much. Lorena is an angel; there will be plenty of gentlemen wanting to marry her. Just be patient, woman!”
“But what if something happens to us? And if we are not there for her?”
“And don’t you think that by then she will have married and given us grandchildren? I believe that most likely...”
Then it was Lorena’s turn to interfere with the argument:
“Father, please, I don’t want you two arguing about it anymore.”
Her mother stared at her with accusing eyes, as if Lorena was the responsible for Mr. Gaspar’s sudden mood change.
“There is no reason to make this situation more unpleasant than it already is”, she said, adding more excuses, “certainly, my mother has her reasons to think the way she does, and I don’t see why not listen to her. But I ask for time for someone to court me, and that we may know each other well. My father, would you give me permission to that?” Lorena seemed to be very sensible, surprising her parents who, listening to that, looked at each other.
The mother smiled victorious with her daughter’s response, while Mr. Gaspar was still recovering from the shock produced by Lorena’s request.
“You have to understand that I would never force you to do anything, my dear...” Mr. Gaspar answered, taking her daughter’s hand and kissing it tenderly.
“I am aware of that, dad. And know that in each one of the courting gentlemen I will be looking for someone like you.”
The father was touched by the girl’s comment, got ready and went on his way to work. Lorena walked away from the living room, as she didn’t want to discuss about marriage with her mother any more. She looked for distraction in the big house’s garden, when she realized someone was calling on them at the house’s gates. It was Mercedes calling on her and, quickly, she went to meet her friend.
“I am so happy to see you, Mercedes!”
“How flattering! You know how dear you are to me, Lorena! But what I came to talk to you about is very important, and I wouldn’t want to talk about it here, at your house. Would that be possible to ask your mother permission to go to church?”
Mrs. Teodora allowed her daughter to go with her friend, as long as Mercedes’ maid went with them. They went on their way talking about unimportant things and other topics without too much importance but, as soon as they approached the Igreja de São João Batista’s[25] steps, they walked faster. Inside the catedral, they noticed only two women making their prayers. They asked the maid to wait by the door while they walked towards the front of the church to talk more privately.
“So, what could be so important?” Lorena asked, spiked with curiosity.
“Before anything, I must ask you complete secrecy...” Mercedes pleaded.
“Don't worry about it! But, after all, what is this all about?”
“It’s about Carolina...” Lorena’s friend said with a mournful tone. “She came to my house yesterday and said she is upset with you for what happened at the Cassino.”
“But Mercedes, do you also consider unwise what I did? I simply accepted Rafael’s invitation, and remember that the invitation was made in front of her.”
“And it is exactly why! She thinks that you should not have accepted, and after, there was the dubious comment you made, and it is obvious that she didn’t like it.”
“Do you also criticize me for that?”
“Of course not, Lorena! But, anyhow, it is water under the bridge! The problem is that your friendship with Carolina is shaken by what happened, and now I don’t know what to do! We have always been so close together, and always confidantes of each other! And now I feel like I’m in a hot seat...” Mercedes expressed herself with anguish.
“Does she know that you came to talk to me?”
“No! Never! She does not even dream it! And it is for this reason that I ask you to keep this conversation as a secret.”
“My mom did warn me about it...” Lorena said, remembering Mrs. Teodora’s words.
“What do you think about doing?” Mercedes inquired.
“What do you think I should do?”
“I think you shouldn’t seek her. Maybe, after a while, this intrigue will cool down and she may think more about it, but until then...”
“Until then I shouldn’t try to contact her, right?” Lorena completed, emphatically.
Mercedes nodded her head.
“Don't you think she might seek me?”
“I doubt it
! You know her as well as I do. Carolina has a difficult temperament... Besides, we now know that she is also a jealous woman.”
“Ok, then! Thank you very much! I will now be more careful, and there is nothing to worry about! I will not mention the subject, let alone say that we talked about it.”
Lorena, for an instant, feared to lose Mercedes’ friendship as well, and, before they left the church, she hugged her.
“Now, no need to feel this way, my friend! Everything will be ok”, Mercedes said, all choked up.
“You cannot imagine what I have been through these last days!”
“I did notice your mother being upset. What’s the cause of her distress?”
“She wants me to marry as soon as possible. She says that I’m old enough to marry and that she wants to guarantee my future. Oh, but I will only marry a guy that I have chosen!”
“If you, being younger than me, is having these kind of issues, imagine what is going on in my house! Am I condemned to be a spinster?”
They laughed at the joke, but then remembered the place where they were. Lowering their voices, Mercedes inquired about one more thing:
“Lorena, you have to be honest with me, since I am your friend... what did you think of Rafael?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, pretending not to understand.
“I noticed you were impressed by him and I think you could feel more than mere friendliness for him.”
“What?!?! But I merely met him... besides, we only exchanged a few words...”
“But you have to admit that he is very handsome...”
“I won’t deny it!”
“Could you fall in love for him?”
“Mercedes! What kind of question is that?”
“Don’t lie to me now, Lorena!”
“It doesn’t matter if I said I feel something more than friendliness for him. After all, he is a man committed with our friend!”
“I understand simply that you cannot explain what the heart feels. But I know that soon you will find a gentleman. You will tell me all about it in the future, when we are all married with children.”
The Countess Of Assis - Romance, revenge and ambition during the Second Reign Page 5