Forgive me the bad handwriting, because there are too many commitments; only now I had time to get a quill pen and write you the latest news.
I kiss your soul and your heart,
A.S.
Lorena finished reading the letter and looked again at the photograph. There was her husband before her, cold and poised. Even though she didn't love him, she knew she owned him the deserved respect. The Countess of Assis took a deep breath, took a paper and a quill pen, and started writing her response to that which was the first of many letters exchanged with Atílio.
Rio de Janeiro, September 10, 1887.
My dear Atílio,
Yesterday I went to the Imperial Palace. Can you imagine that princess Isabel mentioned that she wanted to be our baby’s godmother!? Obviously, I accepted...
Paris, September 15, 1887.
Dearest wife,
Today I had to leave town temporarily on business...
Rio de Janeiro, October 3, 1887.
My dear husband,
The other day I met the dear Baron of Cotegipe on Assembleia Street. He asked me to send you his greetings...
Paris, October 15, 1887.
My dear Lorena,
I’m impressed with the progress of the emperor’s recovery! He is looking healthy as if he is getting younger...
Rio de Janeiro, October 27, 1887.
Dear Atílio,
I’m worried with Your Highness, for the newspapers are always criticizing her actions and decisions. In fact, there are rumors that she will, very soon, proclaim the end of slavery for good...
However, what Lorena would write to her husband hid by far her secret intentions. During a certain afternoon, while she was concentrated, reading one of her novels from the newspaper’s pamphlets, Fanny approached her mistress quietly.
“What do you want now?”
“I’m sorry for bothering you, milady; I simply came to give you this note”, she whispered.
“What is it?” Lorena inquired, without caring much about the piece of paper.
“It was sent by Mr. Rafael Abrantes”, the governess whispered again.
Lorena read the note and ripped it in pieces, saying:
“Throw it away.”
“But milady...”
“Throw it away, Fanny!” the mistress insisted, nervous.
The next day, the same thing happened.
“My lady, another note arrived...”
“You already know what to do with it, don’t you? In fact, it would be even better if you didn’t receive it!”
“But it is not him who gives it to me. Who leaves the notes here is one of these lads who are always walking by our house.”
After a week, Lorena received five attempts to give her the same note.
“This cannot go on like that! It is too obvious... if this note is found by Mrs. Veridiana, it will be the death of me!”
“But what can I do, milady?”
“Did they try to drop off another note today again?”
The governess nodded her head and gave her the note she had hid under her apron.
Lorena read it. And she arrived at the conclusion that the best thing to do would be to face him directly, without any shortcuts. Maybe, after this conversation, she would be able to discover a weak spot in him, besides what she already knew: that Rafael’s marriage to Carolina had been a deal done to save the old judge Henrique Abrantes from debt.
“All right, then! It will be necessary that I speak with this man as soon as possible. And now you have to go personally deliver this message to him.”
“But me, milady?”
“And is there anybody else that I trust? You will be the messenger!”
Here is the note written by Lorena.
Rafael,
Is it not enough that I have rejected you once more? Your persistence will not change anything about what I feel for you today, besides my deepest disdain. Know that if I treat you with politeness in front of Carolina is simply because we are friends, and nothing more than that.
However, because I know you will not give up, I’m willing to talk to you in person, so that all these inconvenient attempts of approximation might end once and for all.
Bellow, I specify day, time and place for this meeting.
Lorena Santiago
“Give the note in his hands, Fanny! The note has the day and exact time I will meet with him.”
“My lady, isn’t this quite risky? Mrs. Veridiana could figure it out...”
“I know what I am doing. Just give it in his hands and don't let anybody know that it was me who sent it.”
“Yes, milady! Should I go to his house or to his office?”
“His office! Quick!”
“I will go right away!”
The governess left to deliver the message. All Lorena could do now was to wait for an answer. It was evident that Rafael would not deny that request, especially after his attitude sending her so many notes which had be quite daring. On the other hand, the Countess of Assis was already thinking about how she would please her servant so that she might never reveal such secret, which could destroy her life completely. The only part that she preferred to keep as a secret had been the pregnancy of little Hermano, who had being born dead. Nobody else, besides herself, knew the true identity of that child’s father.
Meanwhile, at his office building, Rafael was called by Fanny, who called him by his last name.
He turned around to see who she was. He simply saw a woman in her forties, standing next to a victory carriage pulled by beautiful Cabo horses. He recognized the family crest on the carriage as belonging to the Santiago family.
“Mr. Abrantes, over here!”
Rafael thought it was strange to be called by that unknown woman, but decided to approach her. She smiled, demonstrating courtesy.
“Do you know me?” he asked, frowning.
“Yes, sir! Don't you remember me? My name is Efigênia and I work as a governess at Mr. Atílio Santiago’s residence.”
“Oh, yeah! It is true!” he remembered, fixing his hat. “And how may I help you, my lady?”
“Mrs. Lorena asked me to let you know about a meeting she wants to have with you.”
Rafael listened with attention.
“And do you know the reason why she wants this meeting?”
“Yes, I know, sir!”
“All right. Tell the lady that I will be at the place and time she requested.”
After leaving the gentleman’s office building, the governess remembered the day she sworn to be faithful to her mistress. Fanny didn't give the note that denounced her boss; on the contrary, she preferred to keep it with her. The carriage was running as fast as the childhood memories of the little girl Efigênia, when she had Latin and history lessons with her old teacher Chancellor João Barcelos Pimenta. Remembering what she had learned with her master, the governess uttered the famous phrase:
“As Julius Caesar[58], when he crossed the Rubicon: Alea jacta est[59]!”
Chapter XXX
Daylight broke that Friday morning.
(Six in the morning. Prima hour.)
When Lorena woke up she noticed that the sky was particularly different that morning, displaying a greyish shade expressed by the clouds that were forming, and indicating that there was going to be rain later on that day. Instead of sun, a sudden cold; instead of an abrasive heat, a light drizzle was strangely falling over the exotic landscape of the Fluminense capital, making it diffuse and sad. Fanny opened the curtains, greeting her as usual.
“Milady! It is time!”
“It’s still early...” the mistress mumbled, still sleeping under the sheets.
“Remember that you were the one who asked me to wake you up at the sixth hour...”
When she came downstairs for breakfast, she found Alma and Donato seating at the table, talking to each other.
“Good morning, Lorena! Did you sleep well?” Alma asked her.
“Ah, I haven’t been s
leeping very well lately... a pregnancy has its inconveniences, but how can I complain?”
“Wouldn’t you like me to call on doctor Heitor? Maybe he can give you advice about it...” the sister-in-law suggested, with worry in her face.
“Please, there is no need! I am not the first woman in the world to complain about it...”
“I praise women for such a precious responsibility!” Donato interrupted, smiling. “If this task had been left to men, I have no idea of how we would do it...”
“Mr. Donato, mother asked me to stay with aunt Emília this weekend... just so she doesn't stay by herself all the time, the poor thing! Our cousins do not even visit her! No Christian charity and moral!”
“Indeed!” the husband answered, taking a bite of the delicious corn bread that slave Luana had served. “We must show compassion, starting with our relatives... It is what religion teaches us!”
“Wouldn’t you like to accompany me, Lorena? You might get bored here, by yourself...”
“No, thank you! I made plans to spend the day with my parents today. Mother insists that I spend some time with them, so I decided to visit them today.”
“You ladies leave and I stay!” Donato declared, incisive. “I’m really tired, without any plans to go out. I think that for now I shall dedicate sometime to reading a good book. Do you ladies have a good recommendation?”
They mentioned three or four titles of foreign authors, but Donato preferred national writers.
“And how about Mrs. Veridiana? Where is she?” Lorena asked, changing the subject.
“She left very early today. When we came downstairs, she wasn’t at home anymore. Certainly, she went to do her habitual prayers...” Alma justified, sipping more of the milk she had been served.
“If at least such prayers served her any good, she would have given us the favor of moving away to a convent definitively, or maybe she could do a pilgrimage without return”, Donato commented sarcastically. “In fact, she is the one who should stay with aunt Emília permanently.”
“Mr. Donato!” the wife censured him.
The husband opened his eyes wide.
“Well, am I saying something untrue? Your mother has always made a point of making everybody’s life miserable in this house. Not even Atílio was spared of her abusive behavior! I hope that old lady go to hell, because I can’t stand her!”
“Donato, she is my mother!” Alma said, irritated.
“You said it right: she is yours, not mine!”
“Try to understand that I cannot oppose her!” Alma responded, defending her genitor. “Lorena, do you believe that Atílio think the same as me?”
The answer was as frank as possible.
“I cannot really talk about it. Atílio and I avoid any comment about his mother. But even though this may bother you, you do know how much Mrs. Veridiana is hard to deal with. Do you think I came to this house singing hymns? No! On the contrary, my husband practically forced me to come!”
Alma was silent, and the sister-in-law preferred to get up from the table to avoid arguing with her. Donato also didn't want to continue the discussion, so he went to the library by himself. However, it was not the discussion about her mother-in-law that made her leave the room. What she needed was time alone to remember all the details of the last conversations she had had with Rafael Abrantes. Even though reason ordered her to both despise and hurt him, her heart was telling her otherwise: that she desired him more and more, that she abandoned herself in his arms and sacrificed everything in the name of this forbidden love.
(Nine in the morning. Third hour.)
There was a knock on Lorena’s door.
“Who is that?” she asked, while she finished reading her weekly magazine.
“It is me, milady! Fanny!”
The governess entered the chamber and reminded her boss that she would go out to resolve some pending personal matters, as they had already talked about the day before.
“You arrived just in time, because first I will go to visit my parents before that other commitment... Oh, and before you ask me anything, I do remember what we agreed on yesterday...” and Lorena went towards the drawers, retrieved a little sachet with several hundred dollar bills and gave it to Fanny.
“Milady, please, be careful with what you are going to do!” the governess begged her.
Lorena sat in front of her dresser and, holding the mirror and the brush in her hands, started to brush her hair.
“And besides, it may be that Mr. Rafael may not show up after all...”
“He will come”, the mistress answered confidently.
“But, my lady...”
“Fanny, what is going on? Why are you insisting in this? Did Rafael, by any chance, tell you that he wouldn't come?”
The governess bit her lips for she had no answer to that.
“Forgive me, milady! This will not happen again...”
“Great! Now, go to take care of your commitments. Otherwise, I don't know when I will allow you to go out again...”
“Goodbye, milady!”
(Noon. Sixth Hour.)
“Mother, I will most certainly not do that!” Lorena answered, furious.
“Oh, child, please! You know how much this means to me...” Mrs. Teodora begged her.
“Let’s wait for Atílio’s return and then we will see...”
“Oh, daughter, how much I would like to spend some days in Petrópolis! Who knows, maybe I could get closer to the palace and...”
“Absolutely not!” Lorena protested, with a horrified look on her face.
“You are ashamed of me, aren’t you? Confess it!” Mrs. Teodora complained.
“Mother, one thing is going to Petrópolis; something completely different is going to the Imperial Palace. Not even I, as a countess, can enter there without being permitted beforehand! I can only go in there when the princess asks me to come. Otherwise it is impossible!”
Mrs. Teodora became very upset and sat in a corner of the living room with a long face.
“It is not about being ashamed, my mother,” Lorena defended herself. “You are being unfair with me!”
“That’s all right, my daughter! What can I do? I am always here by myself, locked in this big house alone, while your father doesn’t leave the store anymore... and that’s when he doesn't have those cursed republican meetings...”
Lorena got tired of the never-ending discussion. She didn't want to create any more misunderstandings between her and her parents, after all, was it not enough that she had to put up with Mrs. Veridiana at the Santiago residence?
(Three in the afternoon. Ninth hour.)
Lorena had just checked the wall clock. It was always time for her meeting with Rafael.
“And father who doesn't come! The weather is indicating rain and I still have to stop by Mercedes’ house...”
“Are you still going to your godparents’ house? And risking to face a storm outside?” Mrs. Teodora questioned, surprised.
“Mother, I am protected very well! I have a carriage for my personal use... Besides, it is still early; it is not even time to pray...”
“I would like for you to stay here. This way you can talk to you father and do your prayers...”
“I apologize, my mother, but I can’t!” Lorena answered impatiently. “I must leave now... Your blessing!”
“May God accompany you, my daughter!”
(Five in the afternoon. Nearing the Angelus[60] hour.)
Lorena didn't go towards Mercedes’ house, but went on the opposite direction, towards her own residence, in the Laranjeiras. There wouldn't be a better place for that meeting than at her own house, away from curious eyes and gossipers who walked the streets, spreading rumors and misunderstandings.
The house was locked and, for this exact reason, Lorena felt herself more secure. She suspected that the conversation would be brief, so she preferred to stay in the garden next to the mansion, from where she could see a beautiful gazebo. The place seemed even m
ore enchanting than when Atílio had first ordered it built, because now rose bushes had flourished, and everybody who approached the garden could smell the delicious aroma. It was pronounced, sweet and delicate...
The Countess of Assis sat there and contemplated the beauty surrounding her. She looked up, to the sky, and saw the clouds getting darker, indicating imminent rain. She couldn’t be long. Certainly, Mrs. Veridiana was already looking for her. She would never spare her daughter-in-law a sarcastic or insulting comment, threatening her constantly, telling her that she would tell her husband how irreverent she was.
Lorena saw him arriving, handsome and, at the same time, despicable, just as she thought him to be. However, if the past had put her in an inferior position, now the situation was reverted. Now, she was the boss, she dictated the rules, she was who humiliated without compassion.
Rafael climbed down from the horse and approached her, holding his hat and his cane. She got up and intentionally let her scarf fall on the ground so that the gentleman could pick it up.
“Good afternoon, my lady! I feel honored by your invitation, specially when I had lost all hope...”
“You’re mistaken, sir! Nothing had changed”, the lady declared, seating again on the wooden bench.
Abrantes didn't hide his shock.
“But how? I thought that...”
“Lorena cut him off. She needed to show who was in control of the situation.
“Well, the fact that we are here doesn't mean that I have fallen for your advances. What I have to discuss with you is totally the opposite. I’m the one who is tired of your insistence!”
“Lorena, this can only be a bad joke!” Rafael exasperated, annoyed.
“A joke? Do you think I simply called you here to have some fun? You are underestimating me! Do you think I would put my reputation at risk to come here and simply exchange a few romantic words with you, so that I could be fooled once more? Oh, never, sir!”
“Then, why did you make me come all the way here?”
“So that your stupid insistence may end once and for all, because it can still cause me a big headache!”
“If this is what is bothering you, Mrs. Countess, I will know how to be a little more careful next time...” and saying that, he tried to hug her.
The Countess Of Assis - Romance, revenge and ambition during the Second Reign Page 22