Wicked Weaves

by Lavene, Joyce

  “Sorry. I can’t do that, either. I’ve been in touch with the police, and they want me to collect all the robes in the Village to have them tested. It’s possible whoever killed Joshua Shift was wearing one of them.”

  Carl’s face was comical. “You can’t take our robes. What would we wear?”

  “I don’t know. Not your robes for a while.”

  “For how long?” Brother John asked from beside Jah.

  Chase shrugged. “It could be a while. I don’t know what kind of tests they need to do. All the robes might have to be processed in Columbia.”

  There were some murmured discussions between the monks before Carl turned to Chase and said, “Do we have to? This is really a hardship for us. Isn’t there a hardship law?”

  “Not that I’ve ever heard of,” Chase answered. “If you have them ready for me in the morning, I’ll take them in. If not, Detective Almond will come for them.”

  Disgruntled groaning and complaining followed, but Carl assured him the robes would be at the dungeon in the morning. “That doesn’t mean we can let this transgression go.” He turned and stared at Jah.

  Robin came up and clapped one hand on Carl’s shoulder and one on Chase’s shoulder. “I have an idea. Let’s sport for the lad’s fate. I’m sure the bailiff will find that idea agreeable.”

  “We’re monks,” Carl said. “We don’t sport.”

  “You throw darts,” Robin reminded him. “I never said what kind of sport, Brother Monk.”

  “This is getting way out of hand,” Chase said. “You can’t have a dart contest to see who gets this kid. He belongs to the court right now for trespassing.”

  “I can see Robin’s point.” Carl warmed up to the idea. “It’s not so much what happens to him now as what happens to him after you finish with him. If we win, the boy goes with us to the bakery.”

  “And if we win, the boy stays with us as a lackey in the forest for three days.”

  Jah tried to speak but was almost too outraged to be coherent. “You can’t make me do anything! I refuse to be part of this.”

  Chase shook his head. “I think I’ve already made that clear. You can do your penance with one of these two established groups, or I can call the police and they can take you in for trespassing. It’s up to you.”

  I came up with one of my really crazy, off-the-cuff ideas. “I’d like a part of that dart action.”

  Chase sounded skeptical. “What are you talking about?”

  “I want to try my hand at making him do penance. I want to be part of the sport.”

  “Are you representing the Craft Guild?” Carl moved closer to me.

  “Not exactly. I’d be representing Wicked Weaves. If I win, he spends three days working at the shop.”

  “What if you lose?” Robin slanted me a sideways stare.

  “I didn’t hear anyone else put up what they want to lose,” I remarked. “What are you putting up if you lose?”

  He considered the question. “The men of Sherwood Forest put up one toaster oven if they lose the event.”

  There were catcalls from the rest of the Merry Men. No one could best them in a sporting event.

  “And what of you, Brother Carl?” I moved a step back from him. He was standing in my personal space.

  “The Brotherhood of the Sheaf will wager five loaves of bread that we can throw darts better than anyone in this Village.”

  “And what of you, Maid Jessica of Wicked Weaves?” Robin sneered, his bow falling over his shoulder.

  “I wager my first basket. The first one that’s usable, anyway.” The other monks agreed amid complaints that the toaster oven Robin offered was no doubt stolen. Monks and Merry Men argued and complained, but in the end, the wager was set.

  “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Chase asked as we all walked to Peter’s Pub.

  “Sure. Why not? What have I got to lose?” I walked beside him, behind all the others. “I may never finish a usable basket. And I have a better than average shot at winning.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because I have a secret weapon. I was dart champion for two years in college. I think I can take these guys.”

  “Really? Are you sure? There might be some under-the-table wagering going on.” Chase kept his voice low. “I’m sure you’re going to be the underdog. I could make some money.”

  “You can put your money on me, Sir Bailiff. Believe me, when I was in college, no one could beat me. There are several dozen plaques and trophies with my name on them in my old sorority.”

  He grinned. “That sounds like fifty bucks on Jessie. I’m glad you told me. I know now not to try to beat you at darts to get you to go home with me.”

  I laughed and kissed him. “You had me when you patted the bed.”

  Robin and Carl yelled from inside the pub, “If we’re playing darts, let’s do it sometime tonight.”

  Peter’s Pub was mostly deserted. Only a few Craft or Artist Guild residents still lingered over wine and ale. The pirates were probably still out drinking, but they’d be at the Lady of the Lake Tavern. Peter’s was more respectable.

  Robin, Brother John, and I sat down at a table with some tankards of ale. The contest was set that each of us would throw three darts at the board fifty paces away and total the score. The two high scores would then throw against each other until the victor was clear.

  The monks urged on their contestant as the Merry Men cheered their leader through the first few tankards and the first three darts. After that, the enthusiasm waned as everyone else was drinking their fair share around us.

  Robin set his fifth empty tankard down on the wooden table after he threw his three darts. “What ho! I could drink and sport like this all night!”

  Brother John belched, then threw his darts. All three missed the target completely. One of the wood carvers sitting close to the board yelled as a dart grazed his table. The other brothers complained and mourned their immediate loss to the Merry Men. He was a poor choice to represent the Brotherhood.

  The monks pulled him away, trying to insert another contestant, but Chase made sure the rules of the contest were observed. It was down to Robin and me. The Merry Men began laughing and cheering again. Certainly their leader could best a mere wench.

  Alas for them, I was no mere wench. I set my tankard down on the table, clearheaded, and picked up the three darts. Robin was barely able to put his tankard on the table. He looked at me with his head cocked to one side, which made his pointy green hat fall off. “Methinks there may be some magic going on here. Maid Jessica seems overconfident.”

  “You have the wrong guild.” I threw my three darts. They all hit dead center. “I’m with the Craft Guild. No magic involved except for the magic of practice.”

  Robin moved, and his bow fell on the floor beside him. He tried to get it but fell down with it. His men rushed forward, and everyone waited quietly to see if he’d get back up again. “I’m all right,” he said at last. “There was no rule about where we had to be to throw the darts. Right here will do fine for me. Bring me the next tankard.”

  I saw some money being passed back and forth while Peter brought two more tankards and Robin took the darts. I hoped Chase was making some money. Maybe he’d like to spend it on me. I’d been eyeing a new shawl like Mary’s.

  I was surprised that Jah stayed quiet beside Chase through the whole thing. He looked like he’d given up. Carl had taken his robe, and he was left in jeans and a black T-shirt. He didn’t look angry anymore. It was probably more than he could take in at one time. The Village affects some people that way. It would do him good to spend a few days with his mother. She could teach him a thing or two.

  I looked at Robin, who could barely hold his head up. I knew I was about to win a lot of bread and a stolen toaster oven. I wasn’t sure what I’d do with all the bread, but the toaster oven would come in handy for breakfast pastry.

  “A toast.” Robin’s shaky hand held up his tankard. “You are
as iron-stomached as you are beautiful, Maid Jessica. You would be welcome in Sherwood anytime. Right, lads?”

  There were a few minor huzzahs to his remark. I acknowledged his compliment. “Thank you, Robin. You are as gracious in defeat as I’m sure you would’ve been in victory.”

  With that and loud encouragement from his Merry Men, Robin threw his darts. Only one made the target. Robin dropped his tankard and slumped to the floor under the table.

  “It gives whole new meaning to drinking someone under the table,” Chase said. He held up one of my arms. “The winner! Wicked Weaves of the Craft Guild will take this man’s penance. Three days with the basket weaver. Do you consent?” he asked Jah.

  Jah shook his head. “I guess I don’t have any choice.”

  “That’s true.” Chase gathered his money from the Merry Men and the monks. “Good night, gentlemen. We’ll expect to see five loaves of bread, a toaster oven, and all of the robes at the dungeon by morning.”

  Jah walked out with Chase and me. “I guess this makes me some kind of servant for the next few days.”

  “More like a lackey,” I answered. “Do you know how to weave baskets?”

  “Of course I do. I’m in college, but I grew up in Mount Pleasant. Everyone learns how to weave. Not all of us do it our whole lives.”

  “How about murder?” I kept my voice as breezy as if I were asking him if he could change the oil in my car. “Do you think you could murder someone?”

  “If you’re referring to my father, I didn’t kill him. I might’ve had more reason than most people, but I have some sense of propriety, not to mention the rest of my life to fulfill. I only came here to see my mother. I couldn’t remember what she looked like. When I found out she wasn’t dead but instead living here in this traveling circus, I was ashamed but still curious.”

  Chase sniffed. “This circus doesn’t travel. We’re here in this spot all the time. It’s probably a lot like the area you came from.”

  Jah laughed, the sound brittle in the cool night air. “This is nothing like where I grew up. You people are all insane. Why would anyone want to live here?”

  “I could think of a few reasons.” Chase smiled at me.

  “How did you steal the monk’s robe?” I asked Jah.

  “I found it, actually. That first night I sneaked in through the hole in the wall. It was there along with this.” He pulled a funnel-shaped object from the pocket of the robe.

  Seventeen

  The next morning we found five loaves of sourdough bread, a toaster oven, and twenty-five monks’ robes piled on the front steps of the dungeon.

  Jah was still in the cozy cell Chase had set up for him. He didn’t reply when I said good morning. His good-looking, dark face stared mutinously in the other direction.

  Apparently he was angry about the whole situation. Too bad. I thought it would be cathartic for him to spend some time with his mother. To categorize her as being part of a circus was just wrong. He’d be impressed by her, if the police had released her.

  “I wonder what they decided to wear.” I looked at all my winnings, ignoring Jah. The toaster oven wasn’t in the best shape, but it might still work. The bread was more than I could use in a few days, so Chase and I kept one loaf and gave the other four away.

  The snake charmer and the Village idiot were my first choices. The charmer’s snake was too pathetic to ever get many tips. And the idiot was too, well, idiotic. Most people ignored him sitting on the ground banging pots and pans together.

  Chase walked with Jah and me over to Wicked Weaves with a stop for breakfast at Fabulous Funnels. They were the best funnel cakes in the Village. I liked mine with strawberries and powdered sugar. Jah refused to eat his, so Chase ate it instead.

  The Village was busy, considering it was still early. The Green Man was practicing the new routine of picture taking with visitors held between her branches. It was impressive and scary. The fairies were holding a gathering. I didn’t realize how many of them there were until I saw them all together. They met around the fountain in front of Da Vinci’s Drawings. Sam Da Vinci was outside drawing the multitude of fairies, or whatever it is that fairies come in. They were a pretty sight; all multicolored and gauzy in the sunlight. All of them giggled and called Chase’s name as we walked by. I ignored them. Fairies could be pesky and problematic. There was no sense in borrowing any more problems than I had already.

  Mary was back. I rushed up to her and hugged her. “I’m so glad they let you go.”

  “Me, too.” She looked at Jah. “What’s going on?”

  Jah finally found his voice. “I’ll tell you what’s going on. These people have pressed me into servitude despite my telling them I wouldn’t do it. They locked me up overnight. When this is over, I’m going to find a lawyer and close this place down.”

  Mary looked as though she was considering what he said. “So you found out you’re not above the rest of us.”

  He lifted his chin a notch higher. “I’ll always be above this rabble.”

  “Maybe,” I added. “But for the next three days, he’s going to work here at Wicked Weaves. He was trespassing and had the choice of doing this or going to jail. For some reason, he chose this.”

  “I don’t want him here if he doesn’t want to be here,” she said.

  Great. Now she was going to be difficult. I wasn’t in the mood for it. I mean, where was the gratitude? “Too bad. He’s already been assigned here. I’m going with Chase to the police station. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  Chase stared hard at Jah. “You better be here when we get back.”

  “You have my driver’s license and bank card. Where else would I be?” Jah stared back but not as effectively as Chase.

  “So now that everyone is happy, we’ll see you all later.” I smiled and waved as we walked out of the shop. “Yeah. This is going over real well.”

  Chase shrugged. “Give it some time. It’ll work out. Like you said, Mary’s a great woman. Jah will come around.”

  “I just don’t know if you can expect that in three days.”

  Detective Almond pulled up next to us at the main gate. He stepped out of his car, and an officer, who looked like he was in drag, got out after him. “I think I’ve finally come up with a plan to solve this problem.” Detective Almond looked at the man beside him. “This is Officer Tom Grigg. He’ll be stationed here at the Village until we catch this culprit. We even put him in costume so he’d fit right in.”

  I couldn’t look at Officer Grigg without laughing. He’d only fit in if this was Rocky Horror Picture Show Village. He didn’t look the least bit historical. His costume must’ve come from prostitutes the police had busted. I didn’t know what the makeup was all about. And I didn’t know how to say it without making Officer Grigg feel ridiculous.

  “I’m glad you’re here, Detective.” Chase bypassed the subject by giving him the monks’ robes we’d put into large trash bags. “I bagged this one by itself. It was found in a hole in the Village wall along with this.” Chase produced the cardboard funnel Jah had pulled from his pocket.

  Detective Almond examined the funnel in the plastic bag. “It’s not exactly forensic evidence, but I guess it’s better than nothing. We might be able to use these things for clues, but we’re gonna need a confession.”

  “We’ll get one with me here, sir,” Officer Grigg promised.

  I ignored the way the sun brought out the heavy red rouge on his face and the red lipstick. “In the meantime, this must count for something.”

  “No doubt.” Detective Almond looked up from the funnel.

  “The doc found some pieces of cardboard wedged in the decedent’s teeth. I can see where there are tooth marks on this thing. That’s the only thing that’s kept Miz Shift out of jail. That leather funnel she had didn’t test right. I guess this is what we were looking for.”

  “We should bring in the boy who found this,” Officer Grigg said.

  “Let’s give this some time, G
rigg,” his boss said. “We’ve been running around like a rooster after some hens. Let’s see if you can get us some real answers. The three of you keep your eyes and ears open. You’ll have Grigg if you need any help. You two,” he pointed to Chase and me, “know this place better than either one of us ever will. There’s a killer here somewhere, folks. Let’s not make the mistake of thinking he or she might not strike again.”

  Officer Grigg nodded and pulled uncomfortably on his corset. His fishnet stockings were tight on his hairy legs. “Don’t worry, sir. We’ll find out what’s going on.”

  Chase nodded in agreement. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing, too. “Yeah. We’ll keep an eye on everything. But let us know if anything comes back from the robes or the funnel that might help. I haven’t slept very well since the murder thinking about the killer still walking around the Village.”