“Lots of energy, I guess,” I chirped, then laughed because my tone matched my words. I had come out sounding a little too much like a high school cheerleader.
He cocked his head, as if in thought, then reached for my hand, hesitating for a split second before he led me around to the back side of the looped room where I was to start my project. His hand felt tentative in mine, not at all like yesterday when he had been so eager to show me where he worked. Perhaps he didn’t like sharing his space? His hand was colder too, but I figured that was probably because the room was a few degrees cooler than the rest of the building. Releasing what little grip he had on my hand he motioned to three stacks of books, each taller than me, and a few dozen rolled up parchments. He gave a brief instruction on what I was to do, which was essentially to file these books where they belonged.
I felt somewhat disappointed, examining the piles as Casper went back to his research without a word. This wouldn’t take much time at all. Paul had made it sound like it was going to be a big undertaking. It wasn’t until I picked up the first one, a small, weathered leather-bound book with a thin leather strap tying it shut, that I realized I had no idea what I was doing.
I looked at its spine for the usual small, white sticker I had come to expect from a library book, but there was nothing. The spine itself was too weathered to make out the title, so I carefully unwound the tie and opened the cover. The smell of ancient paper immediately wafted through the air, and I inhaled deeply. Perhaps it was from all the time I spent researching at university, but the smell of paper was always one that I enjoyed.
The title of the book was in a different language, which wasn’t going to help me either. I looked around at the nearby shelves, none of which were labeled. What was I supposed to do? I grabbed another book from the pile, and I couldn’t understand it either. I sat on the nearest armchair, defeated, feeling none of the energy I had felt minutes earlier. I wasn’t sure if should ask Casper what to do, as I was getting the impression he didn’t want me around as much as I had been looking forward to seeing him.
I couldn’t sit here all day, though. I had no choice. I had to swallow my pride and ask him at some point. Why did I suddenly feel so nervous talking to him? Where did this feeling of awkwardness come from? I took a deep breath, rose from the chair and walked as casually as I could around the corner to ask him what to do. He was staring intently at a map, occasionally typing a few notes onto the laptop.
“What’s up?” he said without looking up. His tone was colder than the room, and it irked me. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I hadn’t asked to be working alongside him; if that’s even what was bothering him.
“I...” I hesitated. “I don’t know how things are filed here,” I replied just as coolly.
My tone seemed to have an effect on him. He looked at me, and I could see a flash of understanding cross his eyes, though they weren’t as bright as they had been yesterday. He got up immediately, almost panicked.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. And he went to another table in the room, picked up a large tome, larger than any I had ever seen, taking both hands to carry it. He took it back to the area I was working, and I followed. As he put it onto the table, it landed with a thud, a cloud of dust swirling out from under it. “This index is an alphabetical listing of every book in this library, along with their location. The shelves all have symbols on them, see?” He pointed to the nearest shelf, and I could see a small gold moon engraved into the wood. The rest is fairly straightforward. I must have shown my confusion, because he looked at me and asked, “Something wrong?”
“I’m afraid I can only read English, and perhaps a little French,” I replied, holding up the leather-bound book I had initially tried to put away.
His face softened, and he smiled, but hinted a slight bit at condescending. “Of course. There won’t be very many in that pile that you won’t be able to figure out. I would bet only about five are in other languages, mostly Arabic, if I remember correctly. Just set them aside and I will deal with them later.”
I nodded, and he turned to head back to his desk. “Casper?” He stopped, looking back. I took a deep breath. “You don’t like me working here, do you?”
His face turned to shock. “No! Why on earth would you think that?”
“You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder since I walked in. I feel a bit like I’m intruding on your space, and I didn’t mean for-”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m actually really glad you are here,” he looked down, and I could see his cheeks turn pink.
“Then why...” I trailed of, aware that my face had flushed as well.
He made a quiet chuckle, and shook his head, as though he were debating what to say next. I waited.
“To be honest,” he said, pausing for a long moment before continuing. “I’ve been debating to ask if you were going with anyone to the Snow Ball tonight, but I kept talking myself out of it.”
Oh right, that damn party. I had completely forgotten about it. What should I say? Best to be honest, I guess. “I hadn’t really thought about it too much. I only found out about it yesterday.”
He pondered that for a second, and then smiled. “I’ll pick you up at seven,” he said, not giving me a chance to say no to him if he had asked. I was pretty sure I would have said yes though. He reached out to touch my hand, but pulled away, never breaking his smile. His eyes were twinkling again in the dim light. He started to walk away, and then turned back.
“What’s your costume, anyway?”
Oh crap. A costume. I felt my mouth drop open, and he noticed. “I’ll tell you what, I have to go pick up my mask this afternoon. I’ll pick you up something, and you’ll fit right in.” He pursed his lips, eyeing me up and down before smirking, “Do you have anything white?”
I didn’t quite know how to respond to this, so I just nodded, without thinking too hard about it. He seemed to accept this answer, and continued back to his desk.
Once I opened the hefty tome Casper had left on the table, I could see that although the system was overly convoluted, it would be easy enough to figure out. The problem was that some of the books were so worn that it took me a while to decipher their titles. Furthermore, it seemed once I shelved enough to make a dent in the pile, Casper would bring me more, chuckling now and then as I perched precariously on the tall, rolling ladder. When lunchtime came, I half expected Casper to come find me. When he didn’t, I came around the corner, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. I figured he must have left without me.
Paul wasn’t upstairs when I picked up my jacket, but I could tell he had been in today from the state of his desk. It was buried in paper. I scratched a short “Miss you!” note, doodling a little picture of me under a pile of books, and stuck it to his door.
I could see the familiar blue light inside the dinosaur skeleton as I travelled down to the lobby. Curious, and now with a moment to spare, I walked around the display, and could clearly see it from this new angle. There was something there, high up, but glowing bright blue. It looked a bit like a large light bulb, except that inside it was a dark, reddish-purple object I couldn’t make out. From this angle I could also see something else I hadn’t before. The dinosaur was suspended by several thick blue wires, all similar in colour and translucency to the one from the breakwater; the only difference being that these ones were taught, I assumed from the strain of suspending such a giant structure. I wondered why I hadn’t ever thought how Bob stayed so vertical before.
My stomach rumbled at my angrily, and I knew it was time to eat. I felt ravenous, my energy sapped from earlier in the morning. I found myself drawn back to the harbour, though not realizing I had walked that way until I was there. There was a fast food place on the other side of the walkway, so I decided to forgo healthy food and indulge in some greasy goodness.
The walkway was busy, full of the usual lunchtime crowd. I dodged people here and there as they bustled to get wherever it was they were going, not noticing I had walked into so
mething until it was too late. I silently swore as I felt something hard connect with my kneecap. It was one of the many benches scattered randomly along the waterway. I sat, rolling up my pant leg to investigate the damage. It didn’t look like it would bruise, but it smarted. I rubbed it gingerly, looking around to see if anyone had noticed my clumsiness. It didn’t appear that they had.
I hadn’t noticed until then that this bench was the same one I had sat on this morning. I looked up for my blue cord, and as soon as I found it, I knew it had always been there, in the background of my vision, already as normal as a tree or a parked car. I smiled at the bluish light; it wasn’t as bright as it had been this morning, but I figured it was just because it was sunny out, making it harder to see. I remembered the vivid neon colour it emanated this morning as I had approached it, and then I had a thought.
I looked around to see if anyone was watching me. No one was of course, so I focused once again on the cord. Tentatively, I thought of reaching out towards it, careful not to move my hands and draw attention to myself. Just as I imagined my hands touching the cord, it responded, both in my mind’s eye, and in my actual vision. I tugged, lightly at first, and could feel a slow heat filling my body, immediately easing the pain in my knee. I tugged harder, and I could feel the tension as the cord responded to my thought. I let go involuntarily, having stretched it beyond its tensile strength. It snapped back into place as though nothing had happened.
The strange metallic taste returned to my mouth and I closed my eyes, savoring the flavour. The pain in my knee had disappeared. I felt more alive than I had that morning, aware of every noise, every smell, and every sound around me. When the taste faded, I decided to try again. Clearing my mind, I reached out again, pulling harder this time and holding it tight in my mind. I was overcome by my senses, and stood, involuntarily in response to the energy burning through my muscles. The taste flowed through my mouth, and I sucked at it, longing for more. I imagine that this is what getting high feels like. But I was interrupted then, and I instantly lost all concentration.
“Hey stranger,” a beautiful voice said, close to my ear. I hadn’t noticed Connor approach me. I glanced back at the cord, it was there, though slightly thinner than before, and moving slower.
“Hi,” I replied, and my throat scratched, longing to taste the energy again.
He looked at me inquisitively, and then his eyes flitted away momentarily, as though searching. He looked back at me and said, “Hungry?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but I realized that the hunger I had felt before lunch had completely disappeared. If anything, I felt full. “Um, I already ate,” I lied, hoping he wouldn’t take that the wrong way.
“Well, I was going to grab a bite from the pizza place around the corner. Would you like to walk with me?” I nodded, needing an excuse to burn some of the energy I had filled my body with.
We walked quickly, and I couldn’t tell if I was keeping pace with him, or him with me. It didn’t matter, because I couldn’t have walked any slower if I wanted to. My body wouldn’t have let me. It was hard enough not to break out into a run as it was. I probably would have run if Connor hadn’t shot frequent glances at me as we walked.
“I’m still here,” I said, catching his glance for the umpteenth time.
“It’s not that,” he said, and I could catch his accent in his symphonic voice. “You just seem… different today.”
I didn’t know how to respond so I said nothing. He noticed my silence, and mumbled something about how it must be that I’m not as nervous as I was on the first day, but it seemed he was a bit embarrassed he had mentioned it.
He ate his pizza in silence, and I sipped slowly at a Coke I had ordered so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable being the only one eating. It was hard to drink, as I felt full already. Combine that with the fact that every ten seconds or so Connor looked up at me, as though he was searching for something. I had caught him once, and he looked away, but it wasn’t long before he was looking again. There had been something quizzical in his eyes, but he seemed shier than he had been before. It made me a bit uncomfortable, so I didn’t bother making eye contact after that.
The silence continued until we got back on the elevator at Mobius. He pushed fourteen, and then looked at me. “Ten, right?”
“Actually, eleven today, thanks.” He raised one eyebrow at me inquisitively, and pushed eleven. As the elevator rose, I turned, straining to see the light inside Bob, trying to get a better look. I know Connor had noticed this, but the elevator reached the eleventh story before it made any difference. Not wanting to leave things as awkward as they seemed to have become, I added, as I was exiting, “Thanks for the walk. I needed that.” He nodded, and the doors shut, ending the conversation before any more could be said.
Chapter Nine
Casper was not in the library when I returned, nor did he come back for the rest of the day. I felt a bit restless, possibly due to his absence, and possibly from slowly coming down from the electric high I had achieved at lunchtime. I had left my bag in my office upstairs in the morning, so at the end of the day, I went back to retrieve it. Paul was nowhere to be seen, but he had jotted “It’s lonely up here without you! See you tonight!” on the doodle I had left him, and taped it to my door where I couldn’t miss it.
Again I had forgotten about the stupid party. What had Casper said? Wear something white? I mentally searched my wardrobe for anything white, and couldn’t think of one thing I owned that was at all suitable for a costume party. Maybe Casper would forget about picking me up. It wasn’t like I had seen him this afternoon to firm things up. He had only dropped me off the one time, so maybe he would forget where I lived. I made mental excuses of how to get out of the party the whole way to the bus stop, and on the trip home, gazing out the window to avoid the stare of the strange old woman seated opposite me.
The bus stopped prematurely, idling for some time before I realized what was happening. The only bridge in and out of town was an old, baby blue drawbridge, and it was up. It was rare to see the bridge up at this time of day, and I looked out the window, curious at what was passing through. It looked to be a yacht of some sort, loaded with people waving boisterously at anyone who would look their way. Must be a New Year’s thing, I mused, glad I wasn’t going to be a part of that. A party was bad enough, let alone adding the possibility of seasickness to the equation.
Something else caught my eye, something familiar. On the side of the shore farthest from me was a faint blue cord of light, hovering slightly in the air. As the yacht passed it grew brighter and thicker, as if responding to the wake of the boat. I looked around. The bridge was starting to descend, and we would be moving shortly. I only had a minute or so to test my plan.
There was a young woman standing fairly close to me, juggling a small child while holding the support along the aisle. I offered her my seat, feeling somewhat selfish that I had an ulterior motive rather than just being polite. I didn’t want to stand up reflexively if what I was about to do worked. She was grateful, and in a way, I was too, now that I had a reason to stand.
Reaching out mentally, I tried to grasp at the blue rope. I hadn’t been sure if this would work, being enclosed in the bus, but the cord reacted. It was less responsive than the one along the breakwater, and I guessed that was from distance as I could feel the energy surge through me as we approached. The bus lurched, and I lost my focus. It didn’t matter. I could taste the sweet metal in my mouth. My muscles fought to move, and in response I gripped the bar I was holding tighter. I could feel pure power surging through me, and it was exhilarating.
When I got home, my heart was racing, and I bounded up the stairs two at a time. I had seen one more “power line” along the way home, less bright than the others, but the bus had been stopped at a light, and I had sucked at it mentally for as long as I could. I knew I wanted to go the party now, even if just to pass more of these power sources along the way.
Maria was home when I burst throug
h the door, and after her initial shock at my sudden entrance, she exclaimed, “Where’s the fire?”
I laughed, and my reply came out quickly, so that the words jumbled together.
“WorkishavingapartyforNewYear’sEveandIhavetowearsomethingwhite!” I’m not sure Maria caught the whole sentence, but she picked up on the word “party” and was at my side in a second.
“Oooh! A party! No wonder you are excited!”
I took a breath. “Yeah, it’s a costume party. I’m supposed to wear something white, and I can’t think of anything that would work. Do you have something I could borrow?”
Her excitement at the thought of me going out almost beat my own energy level. She darted into her room and I could hear her flipping through her closet, making noises every now and again as she tried to decide. I went in after her, bouncing excitedly as I sat on her bed.
“What are you supposed to be?” she asked.
“I have no idea. A friend is picking up a mask for me, I think.”
“Hmm… that makes it difficult.” After a moment of rummaging in her closet, she held up two dresses for me to choose from. One was a super short mini dress she had worn one Halloween when she dressed as a Go-Go dancer, and the other was knee length, with thin, beaded spaghetti straps and a beaded bodice. The skirt was layers of lace, embedded tiny beads which glistened in the light. It looked a little like something out of The Nutcracker.
“Where did you get that?” I asked, having never seen it before.
“I picked it up in New York last summer. I always wished I had a reason to wear it, but I never found one. You should wear it,” she said sincerely.
I glanced back at the much less showy mini dress. It was too short to be appropriate. I had no choice, and didn’t have time to hesitate. Maria insisted on fussing over me, and I let her. She was way better at the whole makeup thing than I was. I put in my contacts, which I never wore anymore because they were so much work, but I figured they would be a better fit if I had to wear a mask. She did my hair in an up-do, winding through a string of sparkly beads which matched the dress. Once she was satisfied with her work she pushed me back into her room and handed me the dress. As I put it on, I realized immediately we should have tried it earlier.
Force (An Alex Warren Novel) Page 7