I went to sit down on the chair closest to Bob. Nic’s words were weighing heavily on me. I hadn’t thought about what would happen if the energy hit a person. What if it was Nic I hit? I looked up at Bob and sighed. Tentatively, I got up, walking over to him. I stared at him for a moment before gently reaching up and touching his nose.
“Um, hi,” I whispered foolishly, as my rational side began laughing internally at the fact I was talking to a pile of bones. “You have no reason to help me, I know, but, I’m more frightened than I’ve ever been, and it’s so hard not to let it show to the others.” My voice was shaky. “I must ask one thing of you.” I paused, wondering what happens to people who ask favours of gods. I figured at this point I didn’t really have much other choice. “Regardless of what you choose to do when you are free, giving Nic the stone or not, please take me somewhere. Please. As soon as you can. I will have to release the energy I will have absorbed while freeing you.” My voice choked as I finished, “I’m not even sure how to do that; I just know I don’t want to hurt anybody. Please.” I took my hand away before I he could respond, should he have chosen to. I didn’t want to know his decision, if such a decision could be communicated over small bumps and trembles. I stared into his sockets, trying to communicate my emotion through my eyes, feeling even more foolish than ever, but seeing no other alternative at this point. After a minute I sat back down on the chair, where I remained for about an hour, lost in thought. No one came by.
I finally decided I needed to keep busy. I had one more place I could go to keep busy, though I had been putting it off. I got in the elevator, but chickened out, instead pushing the 10 button and heading to my office. My socks were filthy at this point, so it didn’t bother me that I was still lacking shoes. As I exited the elevator I heard a familiar voice.
“Alex!”
“Paul! I missed you! How are you?” I ran to hug him.
“I’m better, thanks. It’s been rough, but my dad’s a pretty wise man, so he’s helped me a lot.”
“That’s what happens when you’ve been around that long.” We both laughed. It felt good to laugh with Paul again. “How’s Andrea?”
“She’s doing well. She stayed back at Olympus with my dad.”
“How come you came back? Are you going to fight your brother?”
“Yes,” his voice rang with grief.
“I’m so sorry, Paul.”
“Don’t be. It has to be done. But it’s really hard. Everywhere I go, I’m reminded of him, and I don’t want to be.”
“Tell me about it,” I said. “I have wanted to go back to the library ever since I got back here, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it yet.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
I thought about it. “Actually, that would be really great. If you don’t mind, that is.”
“I think it’ll be good for me.”
I nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. A few minutes later we were at the massive, ornate doors. Paul tried them, but they were locked.
“I guess we can’t get in,” he said.
“I wonder…” I said, raising one hand to push the door. It opened before I touched the wood. Paul raised an eyebrow at me. “I work down here right now, remember?” He smiled at me, shaking his head in amusement.
The library looked like it hadn’t been used in years. The air felt stale, and I immediately felt the sense of desertion in the room. It seemed so neglected. There were piles of books waiting to be filed, and documents everywhere. I looked over at Paul to see what he made of the mess, but he was lost in thought. His eyes were staring at his brother’s desk. Slowly, he made his way over to it, pushing away the papers carelessly. He sat in the chair, subconsciously tracing the detailing on the desk’s wood frame. I saw a twinkly wet teardrop run quickly down his face, but said nothing. Then, after five or so minutes of silence, Paul got up, yanking Casper’s laptop cord out of the wall and taking the computer up in his arms.
“I’m going to take this up to Nic. There might be something on it that’s useful.”
I nodded. “Do you mind if I stay here a bit longer? I’m not ready to leave yet.”
“I understand,” he said quietly, though I wasn’t sure what he understood. He turned silently, and soon I was alone in the room.
I had thought that by coming here, anything I still felt towards Casper would somehow vanish. It wasn’t until I was in the room that I realized that I didn’t feel anything for him anymore. In fact, I couldn’t be sure I had ever felt anything for him in the first place. I know I liked the idea of him, but when I really thought about it, I couldn’t honestly trust that I felt anything more than that. What truly amazed me is that returning to the library didn’t bring up any memories of Casper at all, and yet, I still felt at home. The books called to me. Now, with no one looking, I ran my hand across a shelf, my fingers bumping along every spine. The mess bothered me though, so I decided to start cleaning it up.
It took me a few hours to put everything away, but I loved every minute of it. Even still, there were about a dozen or so books that I wasn’t able to find a home for. Feeling the satisfaction of my work, I flopped down in one of the mismatched armchairs to rest. On a small table beside me was a fat, well worn, leather-bound journal. The leather was well oiled, but ancient. Stamped on the cover were several titles, only one in English: The Diary of the Stone-Keeper. I flipped open the cover and saw several signatures, each with a range of dates beside them. Nicolas Flamel was the last name, with only a beginning date. Glancing through the list, I only recognized one other name, despite being written in Greek: Μίδας. It made sense that Midas once held the stone. I flipped until I found the section of entries written in Greek, and then laughed. The section was quite small, only a few pages, but each page was gold. I guess he really did abuse his power.
Part of me wanted to read the rest of the journal, but for some reason I felt this was something private I shouldn’t be snooping into. I carefully put the book back and got up to leave. The library looked so much cleaner now; it definitely had lost the deserted feeling it had when I first arrived. I didn’t want to leave the comfort of the room, but having no more reason to stay, I went back up to my room.
When I returned to the room, I wasn’t surprised to see the beds made. I felt more and more like I was staying in a hotel, which was a lot better than feeling like you are trapped at your work. Connor was not there when I arrived, and I was glad. Although deep down I could see why he hadn’t wanted me to fight, I was still upset about the whole matter. “Stupid little girl” he had called me. The words rang through my head. I wish there was a TV in here or something. Something to keep my mind from thinking about him. I saw the mp3 player lying on the nightstand. It would have to do. I climbed up onto my bed and lay down closing my eyes as I got lost in the music.
It didn’t last long. The third song was No Doubt’s “Stupid Girl”. I tore the ear buds out of my ears as I threw the mp3 player across the room. It was too late. The song was in my head, only replaying in Connor’s voice. I wrapped a pillow around my head, as if plugging my ears would make the music stop. Eventually, I fell into a restless sleep.
Connor’s voice continued in my dreams. “Stupid little girl” repeated over and over. I could see a figure, struggling against an invisible force, and I presumed it was me. His voice continued. I struggled harder, feeling my body grow tired and weak. “Stupid old woman,” he said. The figure stopped struggling. Looking closer now, the figure had changed. She was smaller, and crooked. Her hair was thin and white, and her face was a maze of deep set lines. Her eyes were familiar, and I knew as I looked into them that this old woman was me.
Connor came into view, wearing the robe I had seen him wearing at the arena. His face was unchanged, but I could feel that it had been decades since I had seen him. I watched as I reached out a shaky hand to touch his face. He backed away.
“Did you honestly think I will stay with you as you age? Stupid old wom
an!” He laughed, so loud it shook me awake. My heart was racing. Before I could react to my dream, I heard the door open as Connor returned. I was grateful I was lying on my side, my back to him. I closed my eyes just to be safe.
“Hey,” he said, his voice testing my mood. I felt him sit on the edge of my bed and place a hand on my leg. I didn’t move. I concentrated on keeping my breathing normal, and hoped that he would think I was asleep. He didn’t say anything else, and after a moment, I felt him lift his hand and get up off the bed. I couldn’t be sure what time it was, but I hoped that if I forced myself back to sleep, it would last until morning. I started to think about what was going to happen in the morning, but it made me feel restless. After a long time, I finally drifted off.
I don’t remember much of the beginning of my dream, but I do remember the seconds before I woke up. I had released Bob, and as he shuddered to life, my body felt overloaded. The electric surge shot from my hand, taking out Nic before he could react. The second shot directly into Bob, hitting the stone. I was engulfed in a searing explosion, and then-
I jolted upright, gasping for air. The room was dark, but I could still see well enough. Immediately I looked to Connor’s bed. He was not there, and I felt relieved. My hand flew to my chest as I tried to calm myself. It was another minute before I saw a figure leaning against the wall. It was Connor. His body was rigid, and his hands balled into tense fists. He was looking right at me, his eyes seething. I pushed my body hard again the headboard, feeling suddenly terrified in his presence.
“You’re going to drain the force lines?” he hissed. “The ones holding up the dragon?”
“How...? How did you know that?” I trembled.
“You were talking in your sleep. It took me a minute to realize what you were talking about. Then I watched as your body became arched and tense. I went to check on you and your hand shot out, nearly throwing me across the room.”
“I did?” Surely I would have felt that?
“Alex! What are you planning tomorrow?”
His tone was angry, just like yesterday. I didn’t like it. “That’s between me and Nic!” I argued, my voice almost yelling. “Obviously he would have told you if he had wanted you to know!”
“I don’t like this.”
“Well, you don’t really seem to like a lot of things now, do you? Not everyone is perfect like you.” I filled my voice with all the raw emotion I had felt the previous day. I had never felt so upset at someone before, and was surprised how passionately the anger shot out.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You! You treat me like a child! Sorry – I meant to say, you treat me like a Stupid Little Girl! You keep in the dark, and then when I finally know what’s going on I’m not allowed to help! Well, news flash for you, Connor! You can’t keep me alive forever. I’m going to die, just like every other normal person out there. So if I choose to risk my life to protect the people I care about, it’s my choice, not yours!”
His tense face had turned to shock as I yelled at him. “Is that what this is about? You want to die?”
“No, Connor, I don’t want to die. I want-” I cut myself off. “You have to realize how unfair this is for me. You’re risking your life. I may never see you again. There’s only one thing in my power that can help prevent that from happening, so I’m going to do it. Even if the odds are stacked against me. After this is over, we can go our separate ways, and I’ll be content in knowing that you’re alive.”
He moved cautiously to sit on the edge of my bed. “Separate ways? Alex, am I missing something?”
“Don’t play dumb, Connor. You have to be aware how this is going to end?”
He didn’t reply.
“Ugh,” I sighed, hating that I would have to explain myself. “Seriously? You haven’t thought about this? If after all is said and done, we both survive this, it’s not like we’re going to be together or anything.”
He was quiet for a long moment. “I’m not sure how to respond to that, Alex. I am truly sorry for what I said in the arena, but please believe me, it was the only way to keep you away. I couldn’t bear it if you got hurt.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Then what then?” He was looking right at me now, and I knew I was caught.
It pained me enough to think the words, let alone say them aloud. “Connor, how old are you?”
He looked confused. “Twenty-nine.”
“No, I mean, how old are you really?”
“Where are you going with this Alex?
“Can’t you see the problem? I’m twenty-seven. In ten years, I’ll be thirty-seven. Then forty-seven. And you will always remain twenty-nine. I’m getting old. Every second, every minute, I get closer to death. How long will it be before I’m too old? I’m not about to start feeling things for you knowing that it won’t last.”
He slid forward and touched my cheek, but I pulled away. “Alexis,” he whispered, taking a deep breath before continuing, “at the risk of ruining everything I have with you, I have to tell you something.”
“Go ahead,” I shrugged, figuring it was already ruined anyway.
He looked down, struggling to find the words. After a minute of silence he said, so quiet that I could barely hear, “I feel things for you that I have never felt before, Alex. I’ve only known you a short time but you make me want to live. Before you my life was a series of long, empty days. The future did not exist for me. Then you walked into my life, and even before I spoke to you that day at the coffee shop, I became entranced by you. I’ve never wanted someone more than I want you.” He never looked up as he spoke, or after he finished.
“This doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to get old,” I whispered, my voice cracking awkwardly as the words spilled out.
He looked up then, taking my face in his hands. “I will never leave you. You can toss me aside whenever you want, but I will stay by you for as long as you choose to keep me.”
I couldn’t look at him. I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks, but I did not sob. As the tears reached his hands, he gently wiped them away with his thumbs. Why did he make it so hard? If he had just agreed with me, then I could start getting over him. Now, hearing his words, I knew I felt the same way for him.
“I will never let you go,” he whispered, never releasing his hands as he kissed my forehead. I could feel myself melting in his hands, and without looking up I my face reached for his. I felt his lips against mine, but they were tentative, only connecting for one soft moment before retreating.
He looked at me. I knew I had to speak, but I didn’t have the words. I took his hands from my face and placed them in mine, absentmindedly tracing the lines on his palms. He waited patiently for me to speak, and it took several minutes before I could muster up the strength.
My voice came out in a hoarse whisper. “I will never let you go either.” His arms were around me in an instant, and I sunk into his embrace, feeling my apprehensions wash away under the strength of his embrace. He kept true to his word, never letting go, and after several minutes, I drifted off into a calm sleep, still wrapped tightly in his arms.
I woke up to his soft lips pressing against my forehead. He was leaning over me, already dressed.
“Good morning,” he said, seemingly amused at my groggy state.
“You let go,” I said sleepily, reaching for him. He laughed as I pulled fruitlessly at his shirt. He didn’t budge, and he seemed to find this incredibly amusing.
“Humour me?” I said, pulling harder. He smiled, falling forward, his weight pinning me to the bed. I kissed him quickly. “That’s better,” I said, feeling quite pleased with myself.
He didn’t say anything, and I could see he was looking into my eyes with his familiar searching gaze. “What are you thinking about?” I asked.
He sighed. “Please don’t die today.”
I burst out laughing. I hadn’t expected that to be his answer. “Only if you don’t die either, okay?�
�� I managed to spit out between giggles.
“Deal.” He smiled, and chuckled a bit at the absurdity of our requests. After a moment he sat up and reached for something on the nightstand. “I took a guess,” he said, handing me a bagel.
“You’re catching on,” I said, smiling as I took the bagel from him.
He sighed again, the smile fading from his face. “When you’re done that, you should go down and see Nic. He’s looking for you.”
“Down?”
“To the lobby.” I could see the words pained him to say. Not knowing how to respond I merely nodded. “I have to go,” he said slowly.
“I know,” I whispered, sitting up and wrapping my arms around his neck. Our eyes locked, and several unspoken goodbyes passed between our glances. He kissed me hard, another unspoken goodbye. It would have been all too easy to forget all about what was going to happen today. We could stay here, all day, lost in each other, but as much as I wanted to, I knew that neither of us would do that. The kiss was not long, but it was fierce. In that one action we said all the things both of us were too afraid to say aloud. I couldn’t bring myself to unlock my hands from his neck; when this became apparent to him, he gently reached up, unlocking my fingers with ease. He rose from the bed painfully and quietly left the room, never looking back. I was glad he didn’t; I couldn’t bear to think of all the “what ifs” anymore. I had to focus. It was time to release the dragon.
Force (An Alex Warren Novel) Page 19