At the word Grams, reality snapped back in around me so hard and so fast that I stumbled back from the shock of it all. With my hand pressed against my heart, I glanced from Dorian to Laura and back to Dorian again. Blood filled my neck and my face. I’d just tried to kill Laura. Hell, I’d thought about killing Dorian, too. All to drink some fucking blood.
Shaking my head, I stepped back as tears dripped down onto my cheeks. As much as we’d hoped it wasn’t true, tonight had shown the truth in full technicolor. I was becoming a vampire. One who had a kind of bloodlust I didn’t think could be controlled.
Chapter 22
The horror I felt at what I was becoming was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Even when I discovered the nature of my powers, I’d known somewhere deep inside of me that I didn’t have to give into the darkness, that it didn’t have to define who I was or the choices I would make. Vampirism was different, especially the kind that plagued Dorian. It was a curse, after all, and the hunger that came along with it was next to impossible to ignore. Hell, Dorian couldn’t even ignore it. He’d spent his entire life battling against his urges, in constant pain when he chose to drink refrigerated bags from the fridge.
And just now, I’d tried to attack one of the only people in the world that I loved. I would never hurt Laura, and yet I’d just thought about ripping out her throat and drinking her blood until she was dead.
If Dorian hadn’t arrived when he did…I closed my eyes and shuddered. I couldn’t even contemplate what might have happened.
“I’m so sorry, Laura,” I said, choking over my words. “I’m so, so sorry. I have to get out of here.”
The only place I could go was somewhere very far away from here. Somewhere I couldn’t hurt anyone. Somewhere I could avoid the bloodlust.
Dorian had once told me that Unbounds would die if they didn’t drink blood, but there was no alternative for me.
With a deep breath, I took off through the trees and into the depths of the cemetery. The Land of the Fae was not only close by, but it was also full of beings whose blood I wouldn’t crave. It was the only place for me now. I certainly couldn’t stay here. The Bone Coven would never survive the demon war if they were led by someone who wanted nothing more than to drink every last one of them dry.
When I reached the crypt, I knocked on the door as hard as I could, heart hammering in my chest. Belzus had been in the cemetery only moments before, and it was still the dead of night. Surely he had to be somewhere nearby. Hell, he’d probably seen the entire thing.
“Belzus!” I called out, pacing from one end of the clearing to the other. “Where the hell are you!?”
In the distance, I saw the flash of lights as the backup mages took charge against the demons that Laura and I found, as well as the mage who had attacked us. My chest ached. I should be there, by their sides, helping them fight. They weren’t trained, and they’d never faced one of these creatures in their lives. They needed me. But not in the state I was in now. I’d only end up turning on them all.
“Zoe,” Dorian said, panting as he reached the clearing. He slowed to a stop, his feet pounding the hard-packed ground. “I should have known you’d come here. What did you think you’d do? Hole up in the crypt until the bloodlust passes?”
“Something like that,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “And you’re not going to convince me otherwise.”
“It won’t help, Zoe.” Dorian gave me a sad smile and ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s already started. There’s nothing you can do to stop it once it gets to this point. I should have warned you, but I’d truly hoped that Wagner hadn’t cursed you. I never wanted it to come to this.”
“And you think I did?” With a laugh, I raised my hands to my sides. “Do you think I wanted to attack my best friend? Do you think I want to go into hiding? Do you think I want to give up the demon fight now, right when we’re so close to stopping this thing once and for all? Because that’s where we’re at now. I can no longer be involved. I’m a threat to all those mages. Because if I’d go after Laura? I would sure as hell end up going after every single one of them.”
“Luckily, you have me,” he said in a deep voice as he took two slow and steady steps toward me. “I’ve been through this before. I can teach you how to manage it.”
“Two days ago, you told me that you feel like you’re on edge all the time,” I said. “You told me you’re constantly in pain and that the cravings are always there. That you’ve snapped and lost it on numerous occasions.”
“True, but you’re also far stronger than I am,” he said. “You’ve had to deal with your shadows your entire life, whether you realized at the time that was what they were or not. If you can control that, then you can control this.”
“Dorian,” I said, my voice cracking as I leaned against the crypt door and slid to the ground. Shaking my head, I finally let it out, all the tears I’d been holding up inside all this time. “I just can’t fight anymore. Not against myself. Not like this. I’m tired. I don’t want being good to be the hardest thing in the world.”
He stepped closer, his sad eyes reflecting the feeling that squeezed tight around my heart. Holding out a hand, he gave me a nod. “Then, come with me. Let me help you. I promise that we can find a way to work through this, and you’ll come out on the other end stronger, smarter, and fiercer than ever. Zoe Bennett, Magister of the Bone Coven, shadow mage and Unbound vampire. Hell of a combo if you ask me.”
“Then why does it feel like death?”
Chapter 23
Dorian went to check on the backup’s fight with the demons. I waited by the crypt, refusing to let Laura come and speak with me. I wasn’t going to risk my hunger getting the better of me. One sniff of her blood, and I knew I’d lose my head. When Dorian returned, he filled me in on the fight. They had dispatched the aimless demons with the Nosferatu fangs and they’d trapped Wagner’s murderous minion, though there had been some casualties on our side. No sign of the warlock controlling it all. If Wagner had been around, he’d disappeared when his plan to trap me backfired. He’d probably expected me to go barreling into the crypt without hesitation. And I might have if things had gone differently.
Back at Dorian’s apartment, I curled up on his chair and pulled a blanket over my body. In the heat of the moment, I hadn’t realized just how cold I’d gotten out there in the wintry night. My entire body shivered, and a thin sweat coated my face. I tucked up tight and watched Dorian pace across his floorboards. Every so often, he would stop by his refrigerator, but then he’d shake his head and continue his walk to and fro.
A tear slid down my cheek as I sniffed and stared through his window at the full moon sky. “Is this what you feel like all the time?”
“I feel much worse most of the time,” he said with a sad smile. “The beginning was the easiest part. Before I’d…fed.”
“What will happen to me when I don’t feed?” I couldn’t help but ask. It had been a question I’d been mulling over in my mind ever since I’d realized that my entire life as I knew it was getting turned upside down.
“You’ll die.” He stopped pacing and stood next to the refrigerator. “It’s a curse for a reason. While Daywalkers can live a very long life without ever partaking of flesh and blood, we’re not so lucky.”
We. Because not only were we bonded, we were now the same. In any other situation, I would welcome the similarities. Dorian was one of the best people I’d met in my life, if not the best. He was strong and fierce and brave. And loyal to a fault. While he’d been able to fight through his curse, I didn’t know how I could. Because there wasn’t just the vampirism to worry about. It was how my powers would respond to it.
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a terrible thing,” I murmured more to myself than anything. Eternal torture wasn’t something that was particularly appetizing while the taste of blood most definitely was.
“I won’t allow you to talk that way,” he said, striding toward me with a fierce expres
sion on his face. “Now, the reason you are feeling the way you do—”
“You mean, like I could rip someone to shreds at any moment?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Exactly,” he said. “The reason you feel that way is because you’re overdue on completing the change.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “I have to complete the change? I thought that was something that only happened to Nosferatu victims.”
“It’s still vampirism, even if it’s a curse,” he said. “You were mortal, and you must become immortal. It’s a process, and it certainly isn’t instantaneous. When it happened to me, I completed the change within twenty-four hours. You? It’s been days. No wonder you lost your head in the cemetery. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.”
“And how do I complete the change?” I asked, knowing the answer before Dorian even opened his mouth. Of course there would be only one method of losing humanity to become a creature of darkness. Only one way to turn into someone who relies on blood to survive.
“You’re going to have to drink some blood,” Dorian said with a solemn expression pulling down the corners of his lips and his eyes. “And while you can survive on animal blood once you fully become Unbound, only human blood can trigger the full change.”
“I thought you said you’ve never drunk human blood.”
“I said I’d never killed a human for blood.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “But I’ve most certainly consumed it, though it’s been many years since that. The only mortal’s blood I’ve had in the past decade has been yours.”
My cheeks flamed, even in the midst of this solemn conversation. Because the blood that had passed between us meant even more to me now. It caused my thighs to ache, and a flush of intoxicating lust and desire flooded into my chest. Once again, my teeth ached, though his blood wouldn’t satisfy my cravings. I’d be satiated only momentarily, and I had a strange feeling that it would only drive my mind even further into the darkness.
Dorian nodded, reading my emotions. “This is why you won’t be able to go on much longer like this. Even the mere memory of the two of us sharing blood is enough to cause the bloodlust to overwhelm your mind. It’s enough to make you lose yourself in the process.”
“Even though your blood isn’t human?” I asked.
“Blood is blood to a vampire.” Something sparked in his eyes as he regarded me. Through our bond, I could feel his churning emotions. There were a thousand thoughts flying through his mind, and his emotions were torn in so many directions that I couldn’t shift through them all to understand what he was feeling.
“What is it, Dorian?” I asked.
“Well, we can try something,” he said quietly, his eyes flashing with a dark kind of heat. “My blood isn’t human, and it won’t make you complete the change, but it might be enough of a hit to tide you over for awhile. We could share blood once a day, keep you in check until the demon war is done.”
My heart thumped hard, both with the hope and the dread that came along with his words. “And then what? What happens when we stop doing the tiding-me-over thing?”
“You’ll have to complete the change eventually, Zoe. There’s just no other way.” He sighed and knelt before me, taking my hand in his. For the first time since we’d met, I wasn’t struck by the coolness of his skin. Was this just another sign that I was becoming someone else? That my blood and flesh was turning into stone just like his?
Taking a deep breath, I nodded and tried to hold back the tears. “Okay, let’s do it, though I won’t promise to drink human blood when this is all over.”
“Zoe, you—”
“We don’t need to decide that now,” I said. “Okay?”
“Okay,” he said, but I didn’t miss the frown in his voice. I knew that he would never let me make that kind of decision, which meant I’d need to break away when the time came. But I’d meant what I said—now wasn’t the time to decide how we’d handle the whole Unbound curse thing. We just needed to tide me over, so I could get back to doing what I did best—fighting demons.
“You’re likely to lose yourself in this,” he said as he held his wrist to his lips. “It’s okay. Give into it. Take what you want. You can’t kill me, but you might knock me out. If you do, you can revive me with the blood in the fridge.”
“Can’t I just give you some of my blood?” I asked, hating the idea of losing control so much that I’d cause Dorian to lose consciousness.
“Well, you could,” he said with a tight smile. “But then you’d just get hungry again. Best to keep you nice and full for now.”
“You’re making me sound like a wild animal,” I said with a grimace.
“That’s because we are,” he said with a wicked little smile playing on his lips. My eyes caught on his mouth, and I squirmed in my seat. Every time we’d exchanged blood in the past, it had been chock full of lust and desire, and even though we were doing so now as a way to keep me from attacking my friends and fellow mages, it still sent a thrill through my gut.
Dorian dug his teeth into his wrist, cutting the skin. Bright red spread down his arm, and my entire body ached with the need to taste him. I grabbed his arm and pressed it against my mouth, tongue lapping up the sweet juice. Moaning, I pressed my mouth harder against him, drinking him, filling my body with his delicious life-force. Moments passed in exquisite bliss. After awhile, I no longer remembered who I was or what I was doing here. All that mattered was this blood. The iron tang on my lips. The soft skin sliced open by sharp teeth.
I wanted to claw at his body, to dig my teeth into his skin.
When I did, he cried out in pain, and clarity ripped through my head. Dorian pulled his arm from my grasp, his face as pale as a sheet. He panted heavily and grimaced, clearly taken to the brink. I gaped at him, horror-stricken but still reeling from my lust. It took all my self-control not to launch myself at him and continue to lap him up.
Footsteps echoed on the pavement outside the apartment. I could hear them, loud and clear. And then the scent of blood followed. Before I could blink, I’d launched myself up from the chair and through the window, leaving shards of broken glass in my wake.
Chapter 24
The human stopped and turned when he heard the commotion. I landed on the sidewalk and bent my knees into fight-stance mode, a position I’d taken many times in the past, though I could no longer recall when or why. Because this man? He looked delicious, until I got a better smell of him. He was young—probably only a couple of years older than me. Wearing a suit and tie, he was on his way home from work, I guessed. There was a hint of alcohol on his breath, mixing with the heady scent of his cologne, which meant he’d been out for a Happy Hour drink or two.
The intoxicated blood wouldn’t taste as good as a human who hadn’t been drinking. Frowning, I backed up into the shadows and scanned the street for another prey. Across the street, I spotted a college student who was fiddling with the strap of her bulging backpack as she walked. It was difficult to get the full scent of her from this far away—stupid Unbound curse. If I were a full vampire, I could smell everything about her, even from half a mile away.
I’d have to get closer without her spotting me.
From behind me, I heard the crunch of boots on glass, and I knew without turning that the pesky Unbound I’d been feeding from earlier had joined me on the sidewalk. For some reason, he would try to stop me, and that was not on the cards. Not with the intense hunger carving gaping holes in my guts. If I didn’t get a real human’s blood—and fast—I would rip apart this city until every last human’s flesh was in my mouth.
“Zoe,” the Unbound said in a quiet, steady voice. He was weak. Too weak to stop me.
With a twisted smile, I launched myself across the street and dipped into the shadows just behind the college student. She continued on, staring down at the phone in her hands. She hadn’t even noticed my movements. I took a sniff of the air. Bingo. No alcohol. No drugs. No smoke. Her scent was pure bliss, and a flare of red
stole across my eyes, turning the night into a hazy blood-filled sea.
My feet pounded the ground. I reached out and grabbed her bag. Whirling her toward me, my fangs dipped out between my lips, and I hissed into her face like a dangerous snake. I felt powerful and strong, and I’d be even more so once I’d had her blood.
By then, I’d be unstoppable.
Something twisted inside of me—a darkness that crept into my mind and whispered sweet words in my ears. It liked what I was doing, these shadows that surrounded my soul.
“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice wobbling as a tear leaked out of her wide eyes. Something about her fear only enhanced the thrill of this, only electrified my excitement.
Licking my lips, I tightened my grip on her arm. “Vampires are real. And you’re about to find out just how dangerous they are.”
“Zoe.” The Unbound wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back from the human. He grunted, clearly still weak from our earlier exchange. With a roll of my eyes, I kicked his shin, aiming to knock him off his feet. But instead of falling over, he threw me over his shoulder and strengthened his grip around my waist. “Won’t work. I taught you these moves, remember?” He paused, turning toward the human who stood there staring at us with fear in her eyes. “Sorry about this. We’re working through a scene for a play, and she does this method acting thing. Anyway, she got a little carried away, and I’m sorry.”
He turned away and stomped across the street back to his apartment. I let out a harsh laugh as he dumped me into his chair and began to tie ropes around my wrists and ankles. “You do realize that your excuse was lame as hell. She’s never going to believe that we were practicing a fucking scene for a play.”
“Do you know who I am?” he asked firmly as he tightened the rope around my wrists.
The Bone Coven Chronicles: The Complete Series Page 70