Curtis stared at her, emotionless, and wondered how she of all people felt as though she could offer advice to anyone about the sanctity of marriage. He wondered how any woman who had slept around on her husband the way Charlotte had could ever believe she was qualified to help anyone with their marital issues. The whole idea of it was ludicrous.
“As I said, I don’t want to keep you long, but just so you know, flyers will be available at all exits, and if anyone has questions, they can call my office here at the church. I’ll be glad to speak with you.”
Curtis sat quietly but also thought it was interesting, too, that Charlotte was finally spending more time at the church during the week and that she was so much more involved with church activities, specifically the women’s and children’s ministries. She was doing all the things she should have been doing for years and was even being a great mother and wife, but unfortunately, Curtis wasn’t moved by her newfound commitment to him or the church.
When Charlotte went to her seat, Curtis stood, stepped in front of the glass podium, and quoted his favorite scripture. “This is the day the Lord hath made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
He made general comments and offered his standard observations but never as much as acknowledged Charlotte’s marital seminar information. He acted as though she hadn’t said a word to the congregation and, more important, like she didn’t exist. Instead, he continued on with his Sunday morning duties, business as usual, and thought about his future. Funny how it hadn’t really dawned on him much before now, not in a serious manner, anyway, but suddenly he wondered who was going to be the next Mrs. Curtis Black. It seemed strange having to think about the idea of finding another wife, but he also knew the last thing any pastor needed was to be single. Especially given the number of women in churches hoping and praying for a pastor and his wife to break up. It was a very sad state of affairs but it was also reality, and Curtis knew he would indeed have to marry again at some point. There was no doubt he would eventually have to choose a new bride for him and a mother for Curtina.
Chapter 3
Charlotte hung her St. John suit inside the walk-in closet and for the first time ever, realized name brands didn’t mean nearly what they once had to her. Not even the lavish master bedroom suite that housed one of the most expensive bedroom sets money could buy made much difference to her. There had been a time when luxury and owning the finer things in life had meant everything, but not now. Not when she was about to lose the man of her dreams. The man she’d loved for years. The man she still loved with her entire being. What good would any of it do if she couldn’t have him? And it was at this very moment that she made a huge discovery: money and material possessions didn’t make a person happy.
Charlotte slipped on a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, removed her pearl earrings, and pulled her sandy brown hair back into a ponytail. She gazed into the mirror, thinking what seemed a million thoughts, and while she’d been about to head down to the kitchen to warm up the lasagna dish she’d prepared yesterday for dinner, she decided to go chat with Curtis first. She knew the children were already downstairs in the family room because she’d helped Curtina change into her play clothes right after they’d gotten home, and she’d heard Matthew yelling up to his dad, letting him know he’d better hurry if he didn’t want to miss some NBA play-off game that was about to come on.
Charlotte strode down to the opposite end of the hallway toward the guest bedroom Curtis had moved into and knocked a couple of times.
“Come in.”
Charlotte opened the door, walked inside, and closed it behind her. “Can I talk to you?”
“What about?” he said, slipping on his house shoes and leaning against the dresser.
“When you stood before the congregation this morning, I noticed you didn’t say anything about the marriage seminar I’m hosting.”
“What do you think I should’ve said?”
“I don’t know. That it was a great idea? That you completely support my efforts? Something.”
Curtis just looked at her, obviously not wanting to answer.
“Okay, this is the thing, baby,” she said. “I’m not sure what else I can say or do, but Curtis, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about everything, and I’m begging you not to leave me. Please don’t end things like this. Not when I’m still completely in love with you.”
Curtis settled onto the edge of the bed. “Sit down for a minute.”
Charlotte sat next to him but made sure there was enough space between them so she could face him.
“I know this is hard on you and that maybe you truly are sorry for what you did, but things just aren’t going to work out for us. I wish I felt differently, but too much has happened, and we can’t change that.”
“I hear what you’re saying, baby, but all married couples have problems. You have to know that.”
“I do, but how many major problems can a person stand? I’ve done my dirt, I admit that, but you’ve done way too much, Charlotte.”
“But if you’d just give us another chance, I know things would be better. If you’d just let me show you how serious I am. I mean, why do you think I’m hosting the marital seminar I spoke about earlier?”
“To be honest, I really don’t know.”
“I’m doing it because I finally value the sanctity of marriage. After all these years, I finally know how important it is.”
Curtis sighed. “Look… there’s a part of me that will always love and care about you, but I could never stay married to a woman I will never trust again. I can’t spend the rest of my life with a woman who has no problem sleeping around whenever she doesn’t get her way or when things don’t go exactly the way she wants them to.”
“But I promise things are very different with me now,” she expressed genuinely from her heart. “I’m a much better person than I was before, and I know how wrong I was. So, please, just let me make things up to you. Please give me one more chance, Curtis.”
“I’m sorry. I know this is tough, but you and I have to move on now.”
“Well, maybe if you could pray about this a little more.”
“I have prayed,” he said, sounding irritated. “And since we’re on the subject, I may as well tell you that I’ve already had my attorney draw up the initial divorce papers.”
Charlotte swallowed hard, her heart beating quickly. “You what? Why?”
“So that everything’s ready to go.”
“I thought you said you weren’t doing this until after Matt left.”
“I’m not, but I wanted to make sure everything was in order. That way, I’ll be able to file right after he’s gone.”
“You’ve found someone else, haven’t you?” she asked, dreading his answer.
Curtis squinted. “No. And just for the record, I’m not sleeping with anyone else either.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Think what you want, but I’m not.”
“Whatever, Curtis.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, rising from the bed. “But going our separate ways is the right thing for everyone involved.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s not good for you, me, or Matthew, and it certainly isn’t good for Curtina. Have you even thought about that little girl and how she’ll be losing a second mother in less than two years?”
“Of course I have. I’ve thought about it a lot, but she’ll be fine.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because she will.”
“She won’t, Curtis. She’ll be miserable, and I think you know that.”
“What I know is that our marriage is over and that I’ve made my decision.”
Charlotte’s heart beat faster. “But what about all we’ve been through? What about the vows we took? What about forgiveness?”
“That’s just it… I have forgiven you. I forgave you months ago.”
“Well, if that’s true, then how can you simply walk away, acting as though I never meant anything to you?”
His body language changed, and he was visibly annoyed. “Okay, look, Charlotte. I do respect you as the mother of my son—”
Charlotte interrupted him. “So, what are you saying? That I’m not a mother to Curtina, too? That I’m lying every time I say how much I love her?”
“No, but it wasn’t all that long ago when you hated her. You literally couldn’t stand the sight of her, and you wanted nothing to do with her.”
“That was then, Curtis.”
“Yeah, but it’s still the truth.”
Charlotte stood up. “I now love Curtina no differently than if she were my own, and I’m offended that you keep trying to insinuate otherwise.”
Curtis shook his head. “I’m going downstairs.”
“Just like that. You’re just going to leave me standing here?”
“There’s nothing else to talk about, Charlotte, and I definitely don’t feel like arguing. My mind is made up, and I wish you’d just accept that.”
Curtis moved past her and left. Charlotte waited a few seconds, blinking away tears and wondering how he could expect her to accept anything of the sort. Especially since there was no way she ever would—not today or even four months from now in a courtroom.
Chapter 4
It was Tuesday, Curtis sat reading the Chicago Tribune and drinking a cup of a coffee, the children were eating their breakfast, and Charlotte sipped some of the fresh-squeezed orange juice Agnes had made and just set in front of them. Yesterday was Curtis’s usual day off, but since he’d chosen to spend it running errands—at least that’s what he’d claimed he’d been doing—Charlotte had spent most of her day at her favorite mall, Oakbrook Center. She’d debated taking the drive, since it was located about eighty miles from Mitchell, but when she’d realized she had nothing else to do and didn’t want to spend another day at home alone, she’d gotten dressed and headed on her way. She hadn’t bought much of anything, though, something that wasn’t the norm for her, so it just went to show how unhappy she was. Some might say she was depressed even, but that was something she refused to believe about herself. She was sad and very worried about the future of her marriage, but she wouldn’t say her misery was that extreme.
Curtina bit into a piece of her toast. “We had so much fun at school yesterday, Mommy.”
“That’s great, sweetie. But what I want to know is if you learned anything.”
“Yep. We learned a lot of stuff. And did you know that turtles leave their babies on their own once they’re born?”
“No, I didn’t,” Charlotte said, shocked that a four-year-old was being taught this much about animals.
“Well, they do. We have a turtle in our class, and that’s what our teacher read in one of the books. Isn’t that sad?”
“It is, honey.”
Curtina swung her legs back and forth. “I’m glad regular mommies don’t leave their children after they’re born, because that would be even sadder.”
Charlotte smiled and was glad Curtina had been much too young to remember her own mother’s passing. “It would be, sweetie. It would be very sad, and that’s why I would never leave you no matter what.”
Charlotte looked across the table at Curtis. He cast an eye at her but then looked back at his newspaper.
Matthew drank half of his milk in one gulp. “Turtles aren’t the only animals that abandon their young.”
“What does ‘abandon’ mean?” Curtina asked.
“It means to leave something or someone alone,” he said.
“Oh.”
“Anyway, for example, pandas do it when they give birth to two cubs because they only have enough milk for one. And that’s when they choose their favorite and leave the other one behind.”
Curtina bugged her eyes. “And does it die?”
“Probably.”
“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore,” she said, dropping her head and eating more of her food.
“Why? Does it scare you?” Matthew teased.
“Stop it, Matt,” she said sadly.
“Okay, okay. But you brought it up, and I was just adding to the conversation. Plus, I didn’t know you were going to be a baby about it. I thought you were a big girl,” he said, kiddie-punching her shoulder.
“I am a big girl. I turned four, remember?”
“You crack me up,” he said.
Charlotte smiled at her children but then said, “So, Matt… are you ready for your finals?”
“Pretty much, but I can’t wait to get them over with.”
“I’m sure. And at least you only have two weeks to go.”
“I know.”
“Gosh… I can’t believe you’re going to be graduating and that you’ll be leaving us for good.” Charlotte smiled again but now tears streamed down her face.
“You say that almost every day, Mom, but I won’t be gone forever. And you know I’ll come home whenever I can.”
Curtina turned to him. “I don’t want you to go away, Matt. I want you to stay here with us.”
“I wish I could, but if I don’t go, I won’t be able to get a good job in a few years. And, anyway, if I go to school and get a good education, I’ll be able to buy you anything you want.”
Curtina grinned. “Like that doll I showed you on TV last night?”
“Yep.”
“What about a car?”
“Little girl, you know you’re not old enough to have a car yet.”
“Yes, I am. Remember, I already have that pretty pink truck Daddy got me!” she said, referring to the battery-operated Fisher-Price Cadillac Escalade Curtis had gotten her for her birthday last weekend.
Matthew laughed. “You’re funny. That’s just a play truck.”
“No, it’s not. It’s just as real as Daddy’s. Only smaller.”
Curtis smiled at his children, and Charlotte wished he’d smile at her, too, but to her disappointment, he turned another page of the newspaper and kept reading.
Charlotte wished he would say anything to her, but since he didn’t, she looked back at Matthew. “So, is Racquel all ready for the prom?”
“I think so, but she won’t let me see her dress. Says she wants it to be a surprise.”
“Well, at least she told you what color it is so you could get a matching tie.”
Matthew rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “Yeah, don’t remind me. It’s mango,” he said, and Charlotte, Curtis, and Agnes all laughed.
Charlotte still couldn’t fathom the idea of Matthew being eighteen and dating on a serious basis. Over the last year, he’d taken a few girls out, but none of them had seemed a big deal until Racquel Anderson had come into the picture. It was clear that he’d liked her from the beginning, but when he’d started talking to her multiple times per day on the phone and spending most of his free time with her—seeing her right after football practices and Friday night games were over instead of hanging with his childhood best friends, Elijah and Jonathan—Charlotte had known her son was completely smitten with his new girlfriend. He was in awe of her, and while she hadn’t asked Matthew one way or another, she knew Racquel was probably his first love.
The only thing was, Charlotte wasn’t sure how she felt about it. For the most part, she did like Racquel, but she also worried that many of these young girls might run after Matthew for the wrong reasons. They might be overly interested because they knew his parents were wealthy. To be fair, Racquel came from a pretty well-to-do household herself, what with her father being a neurosurgeon and her mother owning a business, and Racquel was also a straight-A student, armed with a number of four-year academic scholarship offers just like Matthew. But Charlotte still worried because when it came to Matthew’s father, well, Curtis wasn’t just wealthy; he was world-renowned, a highly-sought-after speaker and author, and he earned seven figures annually. So, what Charlotte didn’t want was for Matthew to be taken advantage of because of his father’s prominence, and she certainly didn’t want him making the grave mistake of having sex with Racquel or an
y other young lady. She didn’t want him getting anyone pregnant and becoming trapped—she didn’t want anything stopping him from getting the Ivy League education he’d worked so hard preparing for.
As Agnes cleared some of the dishes, Matthew said, “You are coming to my graduation, aren’t you?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything. I’m so proud and so excited for you.”
“Thanks, Miss Agnes.”
“Can you make spaghetti for us today, Miss Agnes?” Curtina added.
“Well, I guess I could—that is, if it’s all right with everyone else.”
Curtina looked back and forth between her parents. “Can she, Mommy? Can she, Daddy?”
“Of course,” Curtis said.
“It’s fine with me, too, honey,” Charlotte told her.
“Then spaghetti it is,” Agnes confirmed.
“Yeeaahhh!”
Matthew scooted his chair back. “Curtina, we’d better get going.”
Matthew had been driving for two full years, but Charlotte still wasn’t all that comfortable with it. She worried every time he got behind the wheel and even more when Curtina rode with him. Still, every now and then, she allowed him to drop his sister off at her preschool.
“You two be careful,” she said.
Curtina hugged her. “We will, Mommy.” Then she hugged her father.
Matthew bumped fists with his dad, and he and Curtina hugged Agnes on their way out the door. There was a time when Matthew would never have left the house without embracing Charlotte, too, but ever since that awful night in February of last year, he hadn’t treated her the same. He was no longer angry with her, and he seemed to have fully forgiven her, but it was clear he hadn’t forgotten what happened. She knew he was well aware that her infidelity was the reason his father was divorcing her. More so, Matthew also blamed her for his father’s car accident, the one Curtis had gotten in shortly after hearing the news about her affairs. Matthew had been so disappointed in Charlotte, and she often wondered if they’d ever be close again. She knew Matthew loved her, but she longed for the exceptional mother-son relationship they’d shared since the day he was born.
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