“Will do. Why don’t you go home and relax? I’ll take care of things here and close up. It’s almost the end of the day anyway.”
I decided to take her up on the offer and hugged her on my way out. The employees I ran into refused to meet my eyes. More of them probably wanted to leave too but couldn’t afford to quit their jobs. Tomorrow I would sign a contract with Marshall’s for them to supply us with drivers. Marshall Ford was the owner of a company which hired on drivers to other trucking companies. He should be able to fill my shortage, especially if I wound up losing more workers.
I was too tired to cook, so I picked up some hot wings and a large pepperoni pizza with pineapple slices just the way Charlie liked it. I was desperately trying to connect with the one child I had left at home. She still gave me the silent treatment no matter what I did.
I was surprised to find her already at home when I got there. Usually, she would be at the community center rehearsing for the play. She was on the phone when I walked in but quickly hung up the phone and made for the stairs.
“Charlie, will you come back so we can have dinner?” I asked her. “Please. Ollie’s gone. You’re all I have at home, and I can’t lose you too.”
Her shoulders still squared, she retreated from the stairs and shuffled by me to the kitchen. I didn’t bother to insist we eat in the dining room. There were too many bad memories from the last time I’d seen Ollie. We were silent as we sat around the table and dug into the pizza. I racked my brain trying to think of something to say, but my mind was blank. I didn’t know how to get my daughter to talk to me again.
“How’s school?” I finally asked.
“Good.”
“Got any tests lately? How are they going?”
“Fine.”
I reached for another hot wing to give myself an excuse to not attempt a follow-up question. She was shutting down every question I asked her.
“Is Ollie ever coming home?” she asked.
I wanted to tell her yes, but I couldn’t lie to her. I didn’t have a clue. “I’m not sure, hon. I hope so. They are looking for him.”
“Who’s they?”
“The police.”
“Everybody’s talking about it at school,” she said. “About you and Mr. Moreau and Ollie disappearing.”
“I’m sorry, Charlie.” I reached for her hand, but she pulled it away. “I didn’t mean to turn your world upside down. All I wanted was a chance to seize the moment and be with someone who loved me in return.”
“And is it worth it now Ollie’s gone?” she asked, scraping her chair back and getting to her feet. Her face was red with anger. “You selfishly chose you over us. You didn’t care how this would affect us at all, or you wouldn’t have done this with my teacher!”
“Charlie, I need you to understand that I didn’t intend for any of this to happen.” I was prepared to bare my soul to her this once, but I couldn’t keep doing this. “Falling in love with Beau was not something I expected to happen. I had no intentions of being with anyone, especially so soon after your mom passed. But, Beau walked into our lives and I’m sure you know he’s a wonderful person. You’ve told me time and time again how much of a wonderful teacher he is. And he loves me too. I didn’t expect you to accept the situation immediately, but I didn’t expect this from my own children.” I could hear the anguish in my voice. “Other people can say what they want, but I only wanted your approval, and Ollie’s. I know I could never be with Beau if you guys were going to be unhappy about it, but I hoped that you would be able to accept our love for each other. Don’t I deserve to be happy too? Ollie’s old enough to leave. Within two years you’ll be leaving for college too. What then? It will just be me alone in this big empty house while you are off to fall in love and start your own family. I want the best for you. Why can’t you want the best for me too?”
Instead of answering, she turned and pounded up the stairs. I heard her bedroom door slam shut. I had no reason to cry anymore. I was over it. If this was what they wanted, for me to be single, then I’d put their happiness first. I would have to give up Beau, as much as it hurt, but the kids would at least be happy.
I packed the leftovers in the fridge before trudging up the stairs. I took a shower, my mind flooded with thoughts of showers taken at Beau’s apartment. I would never know his touch again, his kisses. I would always cherish those memories. It was just about all I could do.
After showering, I did laundry and straightened up the house. By the time I was finished, I was tired again. I couldn’t bother to climb the stairs, so I collapsed on the long sofa and turned on the television. I flipped through the different channels and landed on a basketball game. Oh, how things had changed. I’d lost my wife, my best friend, my son, and my boyfriend. And I may have lost my daughter as well.
While watching the game, I fell into a deep sleep because I was exhausted from the nights of setting up, worrying about Ollie. I was too tired to keep my eyes opened this night, however. I must have slept long and hard, but something woke me up. I almost stiffened but relaxed myself and my breathing when I felt what it was, covers being pulled over my frame. I cracked my eyes open to find Charlie spreading the bed covers from my bed over me. I shut my eyes tightly, but the tears still seeped through.
I had no idea what her gesture meant, but hope blossomed inside me once more.
Chapter 31
Gordon
“Grandma!”
Charlie barreled into my mother, harsh sobs rocking her body. After the initial glance at the pair, I left them alone in the hall and entered the kitchen. I wanted Charlie to feel comfortable expressing herself to my mother, without my presence influencing her in what she said and how she said it. She must have had a lot bottled up inside with no one to talk to.
I blocked out the talking and sobbing while I poured myself a cup of coffee. This morning I felt more like drinking beer, but I still had to go to the office, and I wasn’t confident I would be able to stop at just one. I was on a second cup of the hot brew when mom entered the kitchen. I could hear Charlie going up the stairs.
Mom’s face was grim. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she had circles under them. She looked older than I’d ever seen her. I was used to her smiling and full of life.
“How are you holding up?” she asked. As though she sensed how much I needed a hug, she opened her arms. I put down the cup of coffee and walked into her them since this could very well be the last hug I would receive from her, after she found out my secret.
“I’m trying to be strong for Charlie, mom,” I answered, squeezing her a little before releasing her.
“Oh, my dear boy.” She patted my shoulder. “Tell me what happened. Why would Oliver do something like this?”
“Have a seat.” I pulled out a chair for her, and she took it. Before I could sit, the doorbell rang. I frowned because I wasn’t expecting company.
“Aren’t you going to get that?” she asked.
A shudder rippled through me. “I’m afraid of who it will be.” Someone to tell me they had found my son’s body? Or someone with news of where to locate him?
“I’ll get it,” she said. “Have a seat. You look ready to drop.”
I did as she instructed and took a seat, interlocking my fingers and grasping at my hands hard. I had to force myself to take deep breaths while I waited.
“It’s just Iris,” mom remarked, entering the kitchen, Barbara’s sister at her heels.
I sighed with relief. “I didn’t expect you,” I told the other woman.
“I know you would have said not to come,” Iris answered, “but I have to. My nephew is missing, and I want to know why and what everyone is doing about it.”
I had at least hoped to talk to my mother about this before sensitizing everyone else to the reason Ollie disappeared. Sooner or later they would all find out anyway.
“Then sit so I can get on with it.” The women sat by each other around the table. They didn’t generally get along, but all differ
ences were cast aside as they both shared the same cause. Ollie’s welfare.
“Son, please tell us what’s going on,” mother urged when I was at a loss for words to begin.
“Two months ago, I met someone,” I started. "We grew close and started a relationship.”
“I knew it!” Iris exclaimed. “Oh, the poor kids must be confused at the betrayal. It’s too soon!”
“Will you let him finish!” Mom snapped, and I gave her a grateful smile.
“It wasn’t in my plans to fall in love so soon, but it happened. I had no control over it. Beau’s a great guy.”
I watched the confusion play out on their faces. Mom seemed to understand after a few seconds, probably because she had met Beau before.
“What the hell is a Beau?” Iris asked.
“He’s the man my son is in love with,” mom answered, her face etched in shock.
“What?”
I nodded at Iris. “Yes, I’m gay. My kids found out, and Ollie got upset about it. He left that night and hasn’t been seen since.”
“Oh my God!” Iris cried and jerked to her feet, overturning the chair which ended with a crash on the floor. “Oh my God! The poor children. They can’t stay here! Oh my God, my poor sister! No, no, no. I can’t let the children stay in this.”
“My children aren’t going anywhere,” I told Iris. “So feel free to use the door if you have a problem with me being gay.” I kept my eyes trained on her because it was easier accepting her rejection than that of my mother. I couldn’t miss mom getting to her feet though.
“Gordon’s right,” she said, and my eyes snapped toward her. “Those kids aren’t going anywhere, and we’ll find Ollie.” The eyes that she turned toward me were wet with tears. “That must have been a brave thing for you to do, Gordon. It’s been so long I thought I was wrong about you.”
My eyebrows raised. “You knew?”
She shrugged. “I suspected when you were in your teens, but then you got Barbara pregnant, so I assumed I was mistaken.”
“Are you encouraging him?” Iris asked my mother in disbelief. “He has two teen kids. This is not something they should have to deal with and accept. Not in a father. He should be setting an example and being a role model for these kids.”
“He is a role model for his kids!” mother snapped back at the woman. “My son has been a supportive father to those kids, and I won’t let you or anyone take that away from him because he is gay.”
“I’ll get the court involved!” Iris remarked, eyeing me with scorn. “This is Louisiana. You’ll see if they won’t agree with me. My sister is dead and would have never wanted this for her children. I’ll fight you for them in court.”
I opened my mouth to answer her sharply, but then Charlie stepped into the room and beat me to it.
“You don’t have the right to do that,” she said calmly. “He’s my father, and he’ll always be my father. I’d just choose to stay with him if you take him to court.”
I could have hugged her at her timely appearance. Despite her covering me that night I had fallen asleep on the sofa, our relationship still hadn’t been repaired. Hearing her defend me was a balm to my busted-up heart. Slowly the pieces were being put back together even if the bigger whole was still missing.
“I hope you’re pleased with yourself!” Iris exclaimed, bitter and angry. “You drove your son away and poisoned your daughter against her own family.”
She marched out of the house, and I winced when the front door rattled by the force with which she closed it. Her reaction would have hurt more if I cared. I was getting accustomed to the negative responses by now. However, someone like my mother surprised me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell any of you earlier,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.
My mom smiled and waved a hand at me. “Of course I’m going to support you. You’re my son. Plus, you could do worse. I liked Beau when I met him and once you’re happy, and the kids are comfortable, that’s all that matters.”
She decided to stay with us for the week, and we would get some flyers to post around the town about Ollie missing. I’d already done some, but most had been torn down. I gave her a grateful hug before I dropped Charlie off at school. It was the last day before the Easter vacation.
“Charlie, thanks for sticking up for me,” I told her when she was getting out of the car.
“We’re family,” she said, ducking her head. “We should stick up for each other. Who else will?”
I watched her go, this girl who was turning into a compassionate and strong person. It was amazing seeing her transformation from the timid girl who had lost her mother to suicide. Now she was defending her father who should be the one to protect her from the cruelty of the world. Her support bolstered my confidence.
I drove on to work since I had meetings the first thing in the morning. One with my crew and the other with Marshall to discuss our business venture. The workers were already gathered in the breakroom when I arrived. I had lost one more worker, and I needed to know today if any more wanted to leave.
“Rumors have been going around about what I am or what I am not,” I announced to them. “Whichever it is, I don’t care. As far as I am concerned, my personal life is my own and we are only here in the capacity of a business relationship. You, however, do have the right to go if you feel this is an environment you can’t tolerate, or if you feel threatened by my sexuality.” I was going to leave it at that but decided to go in for the kill. “I’m a gay man, and that’s not going to change anytime soon. If anyone has a problem with that, now is the time to speak up.”
The seconds ticked by and no one answered. I was about to end the meeting and let them know they could go back to work when a hand raised. I glanced at Gerard, one of my better drivers. I couldn’t afford to lose both him and Red in one week.
“Yes, Gerard?” I acknowledged his hand.
He stood and stared at me, his face such an impassive mask I had no idea what he was thinking. “I’m not sure how the others feel, Gordon,” he said. “But quitting our jobs over this is nonsense. As long as you’re not hitting on me, I’m fine.”
“With your mug, no chance of that happening,” someone said, and the crew guffawed.
I smiled, relieved and put at ease. I still had the majority of my staff. By no means did I take it that they approved of me, but at least they weren’t going to run scared because they had a gay boss. I concluded our meeting and went to my office. I had hardly taken my seat when the phone on my desk rang.
“Yes, Glenna?” I answered, noting the extension.
“Mr. Marshall is here for your meeting. Should I send him in?”
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
She ended the call, and a knock followed on my door.
“Come in.”
Marshall entered the room. He wasn’t a stranger because we had done business from time to time. He was a big man, standing at close to six feet and five inches. He had bulk on him too, but it was all in muscles. He sported black hair almost always worn long to his shoulders and piercing blue eyes. He was not only a contractor but ran his own routes regularly. He reminded me a little of myself in that he enjoyed being a trucker. At least back in the day I had.
“Marshall, thanks for coming at such short notice,” I told him. “I had an emergency and a few shipments on delay.”
“So your secretary said. How are you holding up? What exactly do you need?”
I gestured for him to sit and when he had, we went through my proposal for him to give me preference of his drivers for hire. “I don’t have the time to hire anyone new right now,” I concluded. “I would need to get background checks done, and that’ll take time that I don’t have. Your men are already seasoned, checked and know the routes.”
“Sounds good,” he answered. “But we need a time frame on this thing. Let’s start with at least six months, and there’s a minimum number of truckers you have to take each week.”
I nodded. “I ne
ed six like yesterday. Permanently attached to my company.”
“Good. I’ll have the six men come over later, so you can brief them. They are simply on loan, and I’ll get back to you about the long-term contract after my lawyer takes a look at it.”
“There’s just one thing,” I added, deciding to be open this time, so I didn’t run into the same problem I had with my other employees who had quit on me. “The reason my employees quit.”
“It’s okay. I know.”
I frowned at him. “You do?” I shouldn’t have been shocked. The video and news were spreading like wildfire.
“Yes, saw the video too.” He winked at me. “Are you two exclusive, or would you like to get drinks sometime?”
I blinked at him. Was he flirting with me? Outside of Beau, I’d never been flirted with before. “You mean you’re gay too?” I asked him.
“Yes, and all my workers know it and respect it,” he answered. “Or at least they pretend to. You should have no problem with the men I’m sending you.”
Relieved, I relaxed against the back of my chair. “That’s awesome. How do you deal with it? The backlash, the comments?”
He shrugged. “I tell myself people have been assholes since the beginning of time. And I move on from it. It helps when you’re my size, people think twice before saying anything within my hearing.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I can see how that would work.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “So, how about that drink?”
I smiled at him, happier than I’d been since this whole fiasco started. “I would,” I told him. “But, I think I’m already taken.”
A picture of Beau’s laughing face appeared in my vision. God, I’d missed him. I needed to see him again.
Chapter 32
Beau
I flipped through the channels of the television station, scowling at the television. I glanced at the clock, feeling moody. I hadn’t been out of the house throughout the Easter break. Just sitting here inside the apartment feeling sorry for myself. Even returning to France was beginning to sound good. Why was I still here anyway? The school didn’t want me here. The students didn’t want me here. I no longer knew what Gordon wanted with me, and given his kids’ attitude, what he wanted was of little importance anyway. The only thing left was for me to get an eviction notice.
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