“You love her like we do Bess?”
I smiled. “More.”Then I got sober. “But I don’t know if we’ll be able to keep her with us. The sheriff is still considerin’.”
“She saved you.”Patti Lynn waved her hand like she was sure.“He’ll let her be.”
“I hope so.” After what I’d seen lately, I knew better than to pretend in happy endings like they had in stories.
Patti Lynn spent some time telling me about the search parties. Then she went out and got a stack of newspapers from her bike; her new, purple Sting-Ray had a white basket with flowers on the handlebars. That made me think of Troy and his Sting-Ray . . . which wasn’t purple but blue and didn’t have a basket at all ’cause he was a boy. I wondered if he’d forgot about me yet.
When Patti Lynn showed me the newspapers, I couldn’t believe almost all of them had my third-grade picture on the front. Every day there was an “Update on missing child, Starla Claudelle.” As I went through them, I couldn’t believe the things people thought might have happened to me: fell in a well, got ate by a gator, drowned in the river, climbed a tree and broke my neck, kidnapped by a crazy person who wanted to use me as a sacrifice in devil worship. After reading all that, I felt pretty lucky. Nobody even had a thought that I’d run off to my momma. In fact, the stories in the paper acted like I didn’t even have one.
The other thing that knocked my socks off was how many people had nice stories to tell about me and said they were praying like crazy for the good Lord to keep me safe and bring me back home. Even Mrs. Sellers. There was a picture of her, too; she looked like she meant it.
One paper had a huge picture of Daddy and Mamie standing on the porch. Daddy looked scared. Mamie looked like she was bawling like a baby. I folded it quick, so I didn’t have to look at it long, so I wouldn’t have to think about Daddy saying Mamie couldn’t even eat the whole time I’d been gone. She’d sure made herself scarce around here since I got back. So maybe it was just for show. I’d never been nothin’ but trouble for Mamie.
All the sudden, I wanted to go out to my fort. But that was a place I didn’t let nobody come, not even Patti Lynn.
“Wanna go for a bike ride?” Patti Lynn asked.
“Better not. Daddy and Mamie are gone. I’d get in trouble.”
Patti Lynn laughed so hard she got tears in her eyes.
“What’s so funny?”
“Since when are you worried ’bout gettin’ in trouble?”
I started laughing, too. It did seem most ridiculous. Still, we settled for watching Popeye cartoons and playing checkers instead. I wished I had a Mouse Trap game like Patti Lynn instead of just this dippy checker game. But she didn’t seem to care.
At the same time I heard Daddy come in the back door, the telephone rang. I hurried to answer it. Mamie never let me ’cause I wasn’t polite enough. The way she wanted me to do it seemed silly. In the time I said, “Hello, Claudelle residence, Starla speaking,” I coulda had a whole conversation done. I tried to remember to do it right, but every time I beat Mamie to the phone, I was so excited, I just got out “Hello.”
It was Mrs. Todd. I figured she was calling for Patti Lynn to come home, but she asked to talk to Daddy. She sounded funny.
Daddy took the phone and nodded, saying “Yes,”“Of course,”and “I understand” a bunch of times. When he hung up, he clapped his hands together like he had good news. “Patti Lynn gets to sleep over tonight for you girls to catch up.”
We was so happy we jumped up and down a little. We always had sleepovers at Patti Lynn’s. Mamie needed her sleep. Mrs. Todd said that after five kids she could sleep through a bomb exploding.
Then I thought about Mrs. Todd’s sounding so strange. “Is everything okay? None of the boys is in the emergency room?” Seemed like that happened about once a month.
“Everybody’s fine.”
Then I thought about the sheriff going to talk to Gracie. “Are Bess and Gracie in trouble?”
“Why would they be in trouble?” Patti Lynn asked. I hadn’t told her the part about Gracie being the one to drop James at the church. And I didn’t really know why I didn’t.
“Everything’s fine,” Daddy said. “Now go wash up and we’ll get some dinner going.”
I took off running for the stairs, just in case Patti Lynn wanted to ask more about Bess and Gracie. Lucky, she was so excited about staying over, she forgot on the way up to the bathroom.
By the time me and Patti Lynn got back downstairs, Eula was in the kitchen with Daddy. She looked real sad while she emptied the baby bottle that was left in the refrigerator. She rinsed it over and over again. Then she set it in the sink and turned around.
“I’ll just brown them pork chops, Mr. Claudelle, if ’n that all right?”
“I’d appreciate it. I’m not much of a cook.” Then Daddy set us girls to peeling potatoes. When Eula come over to inspect our work, she laughed, saying there wasn’t much potato left when we got done with ’em, so we’d best peel a few more. The sound of her laughing made me have hope that she just needed to cook some more to get back to herself.
The three of us making dinner was almost as good as baking in Miss Cyrena’s kitchen.
Then Mamie come home to ruin everything.
She stood in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen with her arms crossed and a lipstick-red frown on her face. Her pocketbook, white like her shoes, hung from one arm. “Who gave y’all permission to mess up my kitchen?”
Patti Lynn jumped—even though Mamie was always sweet as pie to Patti Lynn and her momma, Patti Lynn knew about the real Mamie. Eula spun around from the stove, meat fork in her hand.
“I did.” Daddy was sitting at the table tucked in the corner by the door, looking at the newspaper.
Mamie’s eyes stopped being all squinty and her frown went away. “Oh, Porter. I didn’t see you there.”
“I’d reckon not.”
She set her purse on the table with a big sigh. “I’m just too exhausted to even think about makin’ dinner.” Like she couldn’t see us standing right there doing it already. “I’ve been out calling all day, thankin’ people for their kindness during our distressin’ time.”
“We’re cookin’ dinner, Mamie,” I said, real cheerful. “You can go put your feet up.” Which I figured to be her dearest wish in the world judgin’ by her frequent mentioning she don’t have time to do it “even for a second.”
“I think I’ll do that.”Then she looked at Daddy. “Porter, we need to talk about findin’ a place for that colored woman. Can’t have the whole town knowin’ she’s sleepin’ in our sheets.”
Daddy turned the page in the newspaper. “She’ll be gone tomorrow.”
“Daddy!” I dropped my knife in the sink and stood in front of him with my wet hands clasped like I was praying. “No, Daddy. Pleeeease.”
He smiled at me. “We’ll all be gone tomorrow, Starla. I got us a place of our own today.”
I was jumpin’ up and down and squealin’, but I could still hear Mamie start sputterin’, “You’re not serious! What about your job?”
“I got a new one. Right here in Cayuga Springs.”
I heard Patti Lynn clap behind me. I was so excited I nearly peed my pants right there in Mamie’s kitchen.
“Porter, don’t be foolish!” Mamie put her hand on her hip, like she did when she was getting extra bossy. “You’re just upset by Starla’s running off.” She shot me the stink eye. “Don’t be hasty throwing away a good job like that. You can’t begin to make as much money here.”
“No. But we’ll make do.”
“Where are we gonna live, Daddy?” I hoped it was closer to Patti Lynn.
“I rented our old place, upstairs at Mrs. White’s. I’ll be working off some of the rent. The house needs a lot of repair—which is why the apartment is sitting empty; leaky roof.”
“I don’t mind a leaky roof,” I said, afraid Mamie would convince him it was too bad to move into. “We can put a bucket under it.�
��
But Mamie wasn’t worried about Mrs. White’s roof, she was worried about her own. “But I can’t keep this house on what I make doing the books for Adler’s Drug Store. I sacrificed a good job to stay home with—”
“That’s my other good news.” Daddy looked like the cat that got the cream, as Mamie said; which meant mighty pleased with hisself. “I ran into Mr. Brinker at the gas station today. He’s in a tight spot at the real estate office. His receptionist quit last week with no notice. He was happy to know you’ll be available right away. You can even keep the side job with Adler’s with no problem. See, everything’s working out great.” Daddy was smiling, but it wasn’t his Good Time Charlie smile; it was kind of an I-dare-you smile. I’d never seen him use it on Mamie.
“So she just runs off and end’s up getting what she wants? Letting her work you like this is wrong, Porter. It just encourages more bad behavior.”
I kinda gagged, ready to jump in and defend myself, but Daddy gave me the look and said, “I’m the one who’ll have to deal with it though, not you. I thought you’d be relieved.”
“I’m only thinking of what’s best for Starla. With you working all day, she’ll run wild.”
It took some teeth grittin’ after that one, but I stayed quiet. I didn’t want to sass and make Mamie right.
“Mrs. White said she’ll be happy to keep tabs on her after school until I get home.”
“Well, haven’t you been busy.” Mamie put on her squinty eyes. “A person would think you’d at least have discussed this with me first. If you want to get a job back here, fine, but there’s plenty of room in this house for all three of us.”
I shook my head, but it was more like a shiver, so Mamie didn’t notice, and made my eyes beg, Please no.
Daddy folded the paper and stood up. He put his hands on Mamie’s shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ve already asked too much of you, Mother. I’m giving you your life back.”
Daddy left the kitchen by the back door. Mamie looked like she didn’t want her life back all that much. She grabbed her purse, spun around, and went through the living-room door. When her bedroom door slammed, my smile popped out and I danced around just a little.
Eula was smiling, too. “There now, it as it should be.”
That’s when my happy flew out the kitchen window. If me and Daddy was gonna live at Mrs. White’s, where there was only two bedrooms, where was Eula gonna go? All alone out there in that house in the country where all she’d remember was killin’ Wallace with a skillet? She didn’t even have her truck to get to town no more.
I ran out the back door to catch up with Daddy.
But he didn’t have an answer for me. He reminded me we had to take things one step at a time. I was beginning to hate those words. He put his arm around me and give me a squeeze. “Things have worked out so far, right?”
I nodded.
“Well, then we have to believe it’ll continue just the same. Eula can come stay with us until the sheriff says she’s free to go.”
“Go? Where? What if she doesn’t want to go?”
He raised his eyebrows. “What if she does? We can’t keep her here just because we don’t want her to leave. Shouldn’t she be the one to make her own plans?”
I didn’t like hearing that, or the way he said it. Like I was being selfish. I thought about how happy Miss Cyrena was living with all her own people. How Eula got involved with the ladies at Mt. Zion. But I was Eula’s people—all her people now that James was gone. I went back inside, hoping it took the sheriff a long time to make up his mind to let Eula go. Maybe she’d get so used to living with us she wouldn’t want to leave.
32
t
he next afternoon I found out why Patti Lynn had to say overnight at my house—and it wasn’t from Patti Lynn. Her parents must have made some big threats to keep her from calling, ’cause she always told me everything, even when the sheriff brought her brother Gary home after getting caught drag racing—and Gary didn’t even have his license yet.
Mamie come home from her hair appointment real excited. She started talking even before her foot was in the back door. She said nobody was supposed to know, but it was all over town. Right then Daddy tried to stop her, but she was so worked up, she kept talking right over him. She said Mrs. LeCount was at the hairdresser, and that Bess had told Ernestine, and Ernestine had told Mrs. LeCount, that Gracie had told the sheriff that Patti Lynn’s sister was baby James’s momma! Mamie didn’t call him baby James though, just “that baby,” like she’d never met him.
“That girl is so chunky, who could have been able to tell?” Mamie said.
“But Cathy ain’t married!” I said. “How’d she get a baby?”
“Thanks a lot, Mother.”
Mamie waved her arms with her palms up, like she was laying something out in front of Daddy. “You want to do it all by yourself. Go right ahead.”
Daddy took me outside on the back steps and he told me how Cathy could get a baby without a husband. He just kept talkin’ and talkin’; all I wanted to do was get up and run to my fort. It was horrible. Awful. Impossible.
Finally, I reached over and put my hand over his mouth. “Okay. Okay. Okay.”
He got quiet for a second and I thought it was over. I kept staring at the grass, hoping he’d get up and go back inside. Then he asked, “Do you have any questions?”
The whole thing was so terrible, I didn’t even want to think about it. All I knew was that I was never getting any babies. I was just ready to make a run for my fort when another thought come to me. James belonged to Patti Lynn’s family. Me and Eula was gonna get to see him all of the time—and Eula would stay for sure now.
I said it to Daddy, but I still couldn’t look at him; might never be able to again.
“Starla, this is the Todds’ private family business,” he said. “We’re not gonna talk about it with anyone. You understand?”
“But everybody knows already.”
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to add to the gossip.”
“But with James there,” I said, “what am I supposed to do, pretend he’s invisible?”
“Honey, James isn’t going be there. The Todds are putting him up for adoption.”
I did jump up then . . . and looked at Daddy. “No! They can’t just throw him away again.”
“Starla—”
“To who?”
“We won’t know. That’s always kept secret.”
“But James is their family! He’s a good baby. He tries real hard not to cry—”
Daddy grabbed my hands. “It’ll be better for him. Cathy is too young to be a mother. She has to finish school. He’ll be happy in his new family. And since he never knew his real momma, he won’t miss her at all.”
“Maybe his daddy wants him.”
Daddy looked sad and shook his head.
“You knew last night! You knew and didn’t tell me.”
“Mrs. Todd was upset. She said more than she meant to, then asked me to keep it to myself. I had to respect that.”
I stomped my foot. “It ain’t right! James is special. We need to tell them. They’ll change their minds. They just need to get to know him better . . . they . . . they . . .” All the sudden I was blubberin’. It happened so fast, I couldn’t stop it.
Daddy scooped me up and pulled me onto his lap. I hid my face on his shoulder and, for the first time I could remember, cried without even trying to stop.
The Todds weren’t just taking James away, they were taking Eula’s reason to stay, too.
I spent the rest of the day in my fort. My secret Howdy Doody lunch box was right there. I hadn’t opened it since July 3, almost three weeks, the longest time ever. But for the first time I didn’t even want to. The things inside had been ruined in Nashville. So I just laid there, only moving when I needed to swat bugs. Lots of thoughts were marching around in my head, their plodding feet pounding against my skull.
I wish I
knew where James was. I wanted to say a better good-bye to him and remind him that he’s a good baby and that Eula and I woulda kept him if the law would let us. It was important for him to know that.
Then I got to thinking about what Daddy had said—not about youknow-what, but about Cathy being too young to have a baby, her needing to finish school and whatnot. I’d looked at Daddy’s senior yearbook a lot while he was gone working. I liked seeing him in the footballteam picture, the basketball-team picture, the baseball-team picture, and the track-team picture. Momma wasn’t in the yearbook. Which should have struck me as peculiar before now, I guess. That yearbook was from 1954. I was born in September 1953. Course I knew Momma and Daddy got married when they was still in high school. But it had never all come together in my head until right then—after Daddy had gone on and on about people lovin’ each other and sometimes they get a baby before they was married, and then they get married real fast before the baby is born. But sometimes they’re not ready to be parents and they don’t . . . like Cathy.
How could I have been so dumb?
Ugh. I was just like baby James.
Was Daddy sorry he didn’t send me to get adopted? I sure bet Lulu
was.
I spent some time trying to imagine living with a different momma and daddy, maybe even having brothers and sisters, in a different house, maybe a different town . . . with different friends. It come to me then, as bad as Mamie was, I didn’t want any other daddy or best friend. I didn’t want to go to a school where Mrs. Jacobi couldn’t be my teacher.
If James could pick, would he want to stay a Todd no matter what?
Mrs. Todd was always so fun and nice, but what if she would be as hateful to him for ruining Cathy’s life as Mamie was to me?
The whole thing made my head hurt worse.
Finally I heard Daddy calling my name. I stuck my head out between the leaves. He was on the front sidewalk.
“There you are,” he said. “What are you doing in there?”
“Nothin’.”
“Well, come on. It’s time to go to the apartment. I’ve got Don’s truck. Your bed and everything from your room is in it and ready to go. You can fix things however you want when you get there.”
Whistling Past the Graveyard Page 29