by Ella Goode
Not that I would sell it. It feels personal not only to him but to me too. For a man that wants me to stay away from him, he seems to know every detail of my face. From the freckles that sprinkle across my nose to the tiny scar on my forehead that I got from running into a tree branch when I was little. I even forget it’s there, it's so small. There’s also that one dimple that appears in my left check. The level of detail this small drawing entails brings me to one conclusion: he’s been watching me. How else could he draw me so perfectly?
My eyes aren’t focused on the beautiful drawing of myself, but of him lying by me. I run my finger across his face. The reason he hides from everyone is so much clearer now. The light doesn't hurt him. Not physically at least. This is why you hide? Why you’re such an asshole? Even to himself, it seems.
He locks himself away. I lick my lips as I study the drawing for the millionth time. I can’t miss the look of pure bliss on the man's face as I merely play with his hair. Playing with his hair isn't the only thing he wants from me. I tuck the piece of paper back away for safekeeping before I get ready for bed.
His words should have pissed me off. He pressed himself against me, letting me know what he really wanted: To fuck me. I felt his need. I don’t think anyone has ever spoken so rudely and bluntly to me before. Something deep inside of me that I didn't know was there sparkled when those words hit me, and I found I wanted more. His large body molded perfectly against mine. The deep growl to his voice made me wet between my thighs.
When it comes to him, getting more attention is going to be a problem. Especially when the person you want it from is nowhere to be found. That happened over a week ago and I haven't heard another peep from him. I’ve even started trying to poke at him. I went back to leaving him food. I stopped myself a few times from opening the drapes because I wasn't sure if maybe it really did hurt his scars, so I left that one alone.
I haven’t stopped talking to him, though. Each chance I get I allow myself to speak my thoughts out loud. Sometimes I even ask him questions even though I know he won’t answer. I’m pretty sure the main living areas of the home are wired for not only video but audio too. I wasn't completely sure, but I talked anyway. All the time. If I’m not talking, I’m singing. Another small thing that has been giving me a weird thrill. Thinking about him watching me.
It was strange at first. For so long I took care of myself. No one else ever watched out for me. I’m not so sure he’s watching out for me but he’s watching. And I don’t want him to stop.
I sigh, flipping off the bathroom light. I break the rules, but still he doesn't say anything. I look down at my forearm at the rash his stupid uniform has left on my skin. I should start breaking those rules too. Why do I need to wear a stupid uniform? There isn't a guest or anyone else here but us. Then it hits me. It hides my body.
I glance down at my cream sleep dress that has red roses along the hem. It’s my favorite but a touch small. I should have thrown it out a year ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Money has been tight and I really can’t afford to get a new one. Don’t do it, Summer, I tell myself. But as I think the words I’m already heading out the door.
I could use a snack. Maybe I could stop by the library and get a new book to read. Not that I don’t already have a stack in my room calling my name. Can one more book really hurt anything? When I make my way to the library something hums inside of me. It’s ridiculous. My nipples tighten as my desire starts to rise. The same as it did when he’d pressed himself against me in the library.
If I keep the lights off maybe he’ll come out. I’ll need some kind of light though. I pass the library, heading for the kitchen to grab matches to light a candle. I freeze, my hand stopping on the light switch to the kitchen when I see a figure standing at the fridge holding the dinner I made and left for him. Does he do the same thing every night? Look at what I made him but never eat it? Torturing himself? I shouldn't care. He’s a jerk. But I do.
He shoves it back into the fridge, slamming the door shut so hard the giant refrigerator shakes. “You should be in bed,” he growls. I can only make out the outline of him now that kitchen has fallen into darkness once again. “I told you to stop cooking for me.” He turns around to face me. I can’t make out anything, my eyes still not adjusting to the darkness. “Is it because you want me to fuck you? Is that what you’re asking for?”
Good question. Because I’m not even sure of the answer. Is that what I am asking for? To be fucked? I lick my suddenly dry lips, knowing I’m in over my head. Then again, when am I ever not that way? It is the story of my life. So I go with the truth.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been fucked.”
11
Kale
Her admission rocks me. She’s untouched? A woman that looks like her? Seems impossible. She’s baiting me, but what would she gain but my dick in her virginal pussy? Does she have some sick fetish that she wants fulfilled? Some game she likes playing? A Beauty and the Beast fantasy where she is devoured against her will by an animal? Imagine walking around my house wearing that sheer floral getup and expecting me to do nothing.
I’m tempted to turn the light on, open the refrigerator door, or shine a flashlight in my face so she can really see what she’s asking for. I gather up the pieces of the last of my decency and say, “Your inexperience is making you say foolish things.”
It’s very dark, and even though my eyes have adjusted to the lack of light, there’s no real way for me to make out her expression so it’s foolish of me to think I see disappointment there. I’m not going to entertain that delusion. For if I do, I would take her right here and now on the tiled marble floor. She hasn’t been fucked before? Let me rectify that.
“Why? Are you so bad at it that you think I will be disappointed? How would I know?” she replies. “This is really the best time,” she says with a little laugh, “as I don’t have anything to measure you against.”
I don’t have much self-control to begin with, but her words are like gasoline on flame, turning my tamped-down desire into a raging inferno of lust. My hand flies out to grip hers. I shove it against my cock. “Measure yourself against this then. If you’re so interested in getting fucked, take me out.”
I wait for her to shove me away, curse me out, or throw something in my face. What happens next, I could’ve never predicted. I would’ve bet my entire fortune, even my skill at sculpting that she would do anything but fall on her knees. Shaky fingers reach for my zipper. I stab a hand through her hair and jerked her head back. “What do you think you’re doing?” I growl.
“You said to take you out. I’m doing exactly that.”
There’s a tiny, almost imperceptible tremble in her voice. I release her hair and let my hand fall to my side. I realize now that we are in a battle, fighting for supremacy. She’s calling my bluff and if I don’t let her follow through no threat of mine will ever be valid again and she will be able to do whatever she wants in this house. It is a game of chicken to see who will blink first and it is not going to be me.
The zipper sounds like a roar in this quiet kitchen. I lock my knees and fist my hands at my side. Her moves are tentative at first, agonizingly slow. As she moves the denim away, her knuckles make fleeting contact with my cock. It’s so erotic, so sexy that I want to come from just this. She might be untutored, but the way she’s drawing this out is better than someone who could write a book on the topic of sex.
My cock is so hard I fear it might break. Cum is leaking all over the tip. My ballsack is tight against my body, ready to explode. Even my toes are curling inside my boots, and she’s not even touched me directly yet. It’s possible I may die when she does, but if this is the way I go, it’s fine. It’s all fine.
She releases a long, shaky breath as her fingers find my shaft. The wretched thing swells in her hand. A long, heavy groan escapes me.
“Am I hurting you?” she asks.
It’s hard to hear her over the blood thundering in my ears, and I d
on’t have a lot of brain power at this moment so all I can do is shake my head.
“You’re tense.”
“I’m turned on,” I spit out.
“Oh,” she says in a tiny voice.
“Yeah, oh.” and because I can’t stop being an asshole for more than five seconds, I add, “If you’re going to suck me off, then do it. Otherwise, put me away so we can both go to bed.”
“You’re cranky when you haven’t eaten,” she retorts. “Maybe instead of throwing my meals away, you should eat and then you wouldn't be in a bad mood all the time.”
“I’m not in a bad mood,” I roar. “I want to come. I want your mouth on me. I want you to suck me off like a vacuum and swallow my cock until all you can feel, taste, sense is me!”
I can’t do this. I can’t be vulnerable like this—not with her. I push her hands away and zip up, nearly cutting off my blood circulation. She yelps in surprise and totters backward, nearly falling. I catch her and haul her upright until her feet are on the ground instead of her knees. I grab her chin and force her to look up at me. “Don’t you ever threaten me again, do you hear?”
“Wh-what threat?” she stutters.
“Your entire existence is a threat.” I stomp out of the kitchen with my cock aching and my body lit up like a tree. I take the stairs two and then three at a time, my pace quickening until I’m all but running. I throw myself into the bathroom and take my cock out. After only three rough jerks, I come, my seed splashing against my shirt, the sink, the floor. It’s wholly unsatisfying and I’m just as hungry now as I was before—maybe more so. I’ll never be able to erase the image of Summer on her knees in that tiny nightgown with her trembling hands brushing against my cock.
12
Summer
“Are you doing okay? You’re quiet,” Eden asks me as she steals a fry off my plate.
“I’m fine.”
“Don’t bullshit me.” She calls me out. “Is there more going on at your new job than you’re telling me?” She knows me too well.
“No.” I pick up my burger, taking a giant bite so I don’t have to talk. That’s the problem. Nothing else has happened and I still don’t understand what happened the other night. I feel out of sorts. It didn't stop me from once again leaving him food and talking to him while I cleaned as if he could hear me. I made sure to do it when Colby wasn't in earshot.
“How is Colby liking it out there?”
“He seems okay. I think the kitten helps, but he needs to be around someone else besides me sometimes.”
“I’m sure he’ll be peopled out by the time you pick him up from my sister’s. You know she’s knocked up again, right?”
“I’m more surprised when your sister isn't pregnant.” I smile, knowing Colby will have fun over there for a few hours but then he’ll be ready to go.
“She’s building an army over there.”
“It’s sweet.” Eden’s much older sister Cana married her high school sweetheart. They started popping out kids pretty quickly. She and Dean are madly in love. I don’t think I could handle five kids, but watching them together always makes me smile. It reminds me of how my parents used to be before my dad died.
“Speaking of sweet, I hear Colten is sweet on you?”
“As in my old boss?” I grab my purse and find my phone.
“Yep. He keeps asking me about you.”
“He texted me.” I hand her my phone.
“Wait, you’re meeting up with him tonight?” She glares at me. “You have a date with Colten!”
“Can you say it louder? Jeez. I don’t think the table in the back heard you.” I snatch my phone from her. “No, it’s not a date by the way.” I look around the diner and people are glancing our way. She’s going to start gossip.
My mom moved us to Smithville when she lost our childhood home. If there is one thing I learned since living here it’s that news travels fast. This small town loves them some gossip. They haven’t had much since Khloe and the chief finally got together. So I’m sure they’re chomping at the bit for something new.
“I’m sure it’s about the store or something.”
“Then why not call and ask?” I look down at the text. They look innocent enough. Though I think I might have a problem reading men. Based off my interaction with Kale.
“Should I tell him something came up?” I start to panic. I can’t date Colten, he's my old boss. Oh, but you tried to give your current boss a blow job. What is wrong with me? That house is making me crazy. That has to be it because I am still shocked I’d done that. Yet, I know given the opportunity, I’d do it again.
“Why? You can go on a date. You’re allowed to have a life, Summer. You’re only going to be young once. Nothing wrong with having a little fun.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. I toss a french fry at her.
“Hey. Don’t waste those.”
“I can’t go on dates and have fun. I have Colby. He’s had enough instability in his life.”
“People date while raising kids.” She has a point, but I’m already texting Colten that I can’t make it tonight. “Hey Colt.” I jerk my head up sure Eden is messing with me. Nope. There stands Colten next to our table. Which is just my luck. Great.
“Hey Eden. How are things?” he asks her, but he’s staring down at me.
“Same ole same. You want to join us?”
I’m going to murder her. I kick her under the table.
“Sorry, I was about to text you.”
“That’s okay.” He gives me a smile as his phone starts to ring. “It’s the store. I’ve got to get this.” Then he winks at me before walking away, killing any hope that he had something to ask me about the store. It was stupid of me to think it was that to begin with.
“I want to murder you.”
“Yeah, I got that. Your whole face went pale. I don’t get it. He’s so handsome.”
“My hands are full.”
Eden’s eyes soften. “I know that, but you gotta have some you time. Go out and have fun.”
I think about Kale. As thrown off as I was in the kitchen the other night, it had all been a rush. I never felt so alive. Yet as fast as it was there it was gone again.
“I have fun with you.” I pick up a fry. I should be having more fun, but I keep thinking about what Kale might be doing. Will he notice that I left him dinner before I left? Not that he eats them anyway. Maybe he’ll miss that I’m not roaming the halls of his home rambling on or singing?
Doubtful.
“I’ve missed you too. You have to come into town more often. Are they keeping you that busy out there?”
“I’ve been settling in is all.” It’s partly true. I think part of it is because I know if I’m not there I won’t have a chance to run into Kale. I am turning into one of those girls that chases after a man. One that turned down a blowjob. I know I don’t know a lot of things, but I thought it was a fact that men rarely do that. “Do men turn down blowjobs?”
Eden almost spits out soda. “What?”
“Just a question.”
“A pretty random one. You got some good book recs or what are you reading over there?” I snort a laugh. “No, men don’t turn down blowjobs unless they are committed or not into you. Even then I still think they’d be down for one.”
I know he was into it by how hard he was for me. The way his hand had tightened in my hair and how his voice managed to get rougher had also clued me into that. Still, insecurity has me questioning myself for a moment. He’s scared of me. It’s almost laughable. I can’t bring myself to kill a bug. I’ll capture it and set it free if I find one in the house. But Kale is scared of me. It’s laughable.
Part of me thinks I should leave the man alone. Is that what he really wants? I know it’s not what I want. I can’t help myself when it comes to Kale. I want to slip into the darkness with him to have a taste of his world before I pull him into the light of mine.
It’s a bad idea. I am toying with something that might not only get me hurt but
can ultimately lead to me losing the one place that’s felt like a safe haven. I should let it go. I’m just not sure I can.
13
Kale
I’m in my studio when the alarm chimes that there is someone at the gate. Summer left earlier with her brother to go meet some friends. She left me food, but I threw it in the trash. Despite saying that she was never going to cook for me again, she left me food. I threw it in the trash, but she expected that. As she was wrapping up the plate of meatloaf, she said this was the last meal she would make for me. I don’t believe her.
The security monitor shows Colby sitting in the backseat of the car. I open the gates and allow him in. Summer told me—not directly but through the monitor system—that she’d be away tonight. I didn’t like it, but short of locking her in a tower, I didn’t have much choice.
Summer talked to herself all day, but when I turned the speaker system up I realized she was addressing me. I’m not sure if she knows that I’m watching her or she did it unconsciously. It wasn’t anything important, just kind of a narration of what she was going to do, how she didn’t like to clean certain things, how she liked order, how raising Colby on her own was tough.
I think the last admission sort of slipped out because she got quiet suddenly and her face got serious.
Colby arrives at the side door. “I don’t think I can let you in. Summer says the old man we work for is real sensitive.”
Old man? I nearly choke on my saliva. Is that how she sees me? How lowering. I’m not even thirty.
“I don’t want either of you guys getting in trouble,” the woman says she leans out of the driver’s side window.
Where is Summer? The kid lets himself in and proceeds to the kitchen. He pulls out an ice cream snack I didn’t know we had and wanders through the house. I watch them for a while as he investigates the different rooms. He hasn’t found all of them yet, and since I don’t have anything really too high, I don’t stop him. I was a curious kid too. While he’s exploring, I text Tina.