“Is that what you want?” I ask, my fingers clenched.
“It’s what I know I should want...” she says, blinking away tears, “I should just go home, and forget all about this, and live my life like a normal person, and find some peace.”
“If that’s really what you want...” I say, the words like sand in my mouth.
“It’s what I should want,” she insists, “An average, comfortable, safe life. A life that anyone would be happy with.”
“This isn’t about anyone but you,” I tell her, dropping to my knees before her in the grass, “This isn’t about ‘should’. This about your life. Your happiness. Please, Ellie...Tell me what you want. Tell me what will make you happy, and I’ll make it happen, I swear. Just tell me the truth, because I’m about ready to burst at the seams, here.”
“Trent...”
“Tell me what you want,” I press.
Her gaze swings up to mine, and I know for certain that I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as her eyes welling up hopeful, terrified, utterly trusting tears.
“I want you, Trent,” she whispers, laying her hands on my chest, “I want all of this. I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life. Let me come with you, whatever that leads to. Just don’t let this be goodbye. Please—”
But her words are silenced as I pull her to me and lay my ecstatic lips on hers. She throws her arms around my neck, kissing me deeply and earnestly. I feel her hot tears against my own scruffy skin, falling between us like warm rain. Her entire body is trembling, and I hold her flush against me, willing every ounce of comfort and strength I can muster to rush into her and allay her fears.
“Thank god,” I whisper, as she lays her head on my shoulder, “Ellie...I love you.”
“I love you too,” she says, sniffling, “But I’m scared shitless, you know.”
“I know,” I tell her, stroking her ash blonde hair, “It’s a scary thing, following your dreams. But you know what? I’ll be right here with you every step of the way. It’s hard as hell, starting an entirely new life, but you’re one of the toughest, brightest, bravest people I’ve ever met. You’re going to be just fine. And when it feels like too much, when you need help, I’ll be right next to you to carry the load.”
“Do you promise?” she asks, looking up into my eyes.
“I promise that there’s nothing in the world that will keep me away from you,” I tell her, holding her perfect face in my hands. “I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that you’re happy, and cared for, and loved. I promise to love you, Ellie, with all my heart. I can’t promise that you won’t get hurt, or feel betrayed or lost. This life is full of heartache. But you can be damn sure that I won’t ever the one to hurt you.”
“I know,” she says, smiling through her tears, “I don’t know how, and I know that it’s probably insane to hope for some kind of happy ending, but I trust you. I believe in you.”
“Don’t worry about happy endings just yet,” I tell her, brushing away her tears with my thumbs, “We’re still in the beginning!”
“I guess you’re right,” she says, laughing. The world seems to grow brighter every time this girl laughs. Her happiness is the light of my world, now. And I’ll do everything I can to keep it burning.
“Look,” I say, resting my hands on her waist, “We’re heading out of here and getting right back on the road for our summer concert series. I don’t want to force anything on you, but you’re more than welcome to come along. In fact...it would be amazing if you would come. I’d understand if you wanted to take it slow—”
“No,” she says, “I want to come. I want to see the country with you. I’ve never even seen the Pacific Ocean in my life! I can’t go back to Barton, as easy as it would be. There’s nothing for me there except diner food and lonely nights. It would be comfortable, sure, but I don’t want comfort. I want to see how long this ride can last. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t.”
“As long as you’re sure,” I say, my heart swelling.
“I’m sure,” she tells me adamantly, “I have no idea what I’m doing, or how I’m supposed to go about all of this...but maybe you could teach me?”
“Teach you how to be a rock star?” I laugh.
“Exactly,” she says, kissing me happily on the cheek. “What do you say?”
“I say...welcome to lesson 101,” I smile, pulling her to her feet.
“What’s lesson 101?” she asks excitedly.
“Getting on the tour bus before it accidentally leaves you behind,” I tell her.
We gather up all our camping supplies, giggling like the smitten young lovers we are. If only my fans could see me now, swooning over my dream girl like a goddamn Backstreet Boy. But you know what? I couldn’t care less.
The world will have to come to terms with the fact that Trent Parker has fallen head over heels for the most amazing woman on the planet. Once they get to know Ellie, I’m sure no one will have any trouble understanding how she’s managed to lock my heart up with about fifteen deadbolts.
She’s not the only one leaping into a whole new way of life—I’ve never had one woman stick around for longer than one tabloid news cycle. This is quite a departure for both of us, but it’s better that way. We’ll learn from each other, teach each other, as we go along. It seems like a pretty good way to do things.
The tour bus starts up just as we leap inside. Ellie and I stumble into the main cabin where the guys are lounging in various states of disarray. They look up, happily surprised by our new traveling companion.
“You’re coming with us?” Kenny asks excitedly.
“That I am,” Ellie replies, dumping her half of the tent onto the floor, “Wherever it is we’re going. Where are we going?”
“We’ve got about a day’s worth of down time before we head to New York to kick off the summer tour,” Rodney says, “I actually have no idea where we’re going...Now that we’re down a manager, we’re sort of free agents.”
“Yeah,” Rodger says, “Where exactly are we staying tonight, Trent?”
“Beats me,” I say, “Does anyone have any ideas?”
A moment of silence passes in the cabin as the bus wheels itself around to the dirt road. Finally, I hear Ellie clear her throat beside me.
“Well...Actually, I do have an idea. It’s a little nutty, but I think it would be fun.”
“By all means,” I tell her, “Why don’t you go give our driver a destination?”
She spins around and speaks in hushed tones with the bus driver. I can’t help but grin like an idiot at the sight of her on the road with us. Whatever unfolds in the coming months, no matter how bat shit crazy things get, I know it will be the best time of my life. Ellie comes back toward us, looping her arm around my waist.
“So?” I ask, “Where are we headed, Miss Jackson?”
“You’ll see,” she says impishly, “But I promise, you’ll be happy once we get there.”
“Whatever you say,” I tell her, throwing my arm over her shoulders, “I trust you.”
“You’d better,” she grins.
Beyond the windshield, the fields of green begin to blur into a long, rippling ribbon. The festival grounds shrink in our rearview mirror, and just like that, Hawk and Dove has drawn to a close. But my arm is still wrapped firmly around Ellie’s shoulders.
It’s hard to imagine that I didn’t dream her up—but here she is, from now on. Wherever this next leg of the journey takes us, we’ll be there together.
Chapter Twenty Three
“Are we there yet?” Kenny whines, sprawled out across a cushy armchair.
I roll my eyes from the front of the bus. Who knew that rock musicians could be such babies?
“We’re getting there Kenny. Keep on being a brave little soldier,” I tease, earning a chuckle from Trent and the rest of the guys.
We’ve been on the road for the better part of the day by this point, killing time before heading up the East Coa
st to New York City. The full reality of my decision to come along for this summer-long joyride has yet to kick in. Right now, I’m riding a tidal wave of adrenaline and possibility. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m charging full speed ahead toward my wildest dreams.
It’s a feeling I could definitely get used to.
“Take the next exit,” I instruct the bus driver, a middle aged man named Chuck with deep, rutted wrinkles and a big, goofy smile. We’ve bonded quite a bit today, he and I, as I’ve been in charge of navigation. For lack of a better idea, the guys turned the day over to me. And I have some pretty great accommodations in mind for us this evening.
“You got it, sweetheart,” says Chuck, flipping on his turn signal.
Thick trees swallow up the bus on either side as we make our way further off the beaten path. I have a feeling that this is not exactly the established way to spend the eve of one’s first national tour, but I can’t think of a better way to bookmark this crazy week and get ready to spring off into a whole new chapter of my life. And the novelty will be good for the guys, too. They could use a little humbling once in a while.
“Are you getting to tell us what you’ve got up your sleeve, Jackson?” Trent asks, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.
“This should all look pretty familiar to you,” I say, twisting around to face him.
Trent peers through the windshield at the thickening foliage, the small town landmarks coming into view as we make our way along. Comprehension finally begins to dawn on that ruggedly handsome face of his.
“Well shit,” he says, “I must have been pretty distracted the last time. I didn’t even recognize the route!”
“You know where the hell we’re going?” Rodney asks.
“Sure,” Trent says, “Welcome to Barton, gentleman. The little town that raised our very own Eleanor.”
“Barton?” Rodger says, chewing on the name of my hometown, “Never heard of the place.”
“No one has,” I tell them, “But I figured we could swing by my house, crash for the night, be normal people for a minute before setting off on our whirlwind adventure. You guys need a minute to catch your breath too—now that you’re free agents, you’ll need clear heads to put your band back on the right track. So, what do you say? A night of R&R sound good to you?”
“Do you think that there’s a home cooked meal in our future?” asks Kenny excitedly.
“I think we can probably count on it,” I smile, “Though don’t be surprised if it’s plant-based and comprised of super foods, knowing my mom.”
“Plant-based? Super foods?” Rodney says quizzically, “Are you speaking English?”
“Don’t worry,” I tell him with a laugh, “I promise it’ll be great.”
“Hell, I’d be down for something low key after this week,” Rodger says, “We’re all of us small town boys ourselves, you know. Different small towns, of course, but all the same. It’ll be like home for us, too.”
“Super,” I say, turning back to the road.
“You’ve got quite the imagination, don’t you?” Trent says, laying a hand on the small of my back. I wink at him mischievously, letting him know without words that he hasn’t seen anything yet. I have a feeling that my presence on the tour might turn a few conventions on their heads, but it’ll be good for the guys to have a little feminine energy around. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. So far, it doesn’t seem like anyone’s annoyed by my presence, anyway.
Especially since they're used to dealing with Kelly.
The tour bus chugs along through the winding roads that lead home. As we start to pull onto familiar streets, I start to feel giddy. Passersby stop and stare at the enormous vehicle making its way through our sleepy town. I’m sure nothing like this has ever quite been seen in Barton before.
I wonder, with a little flip of my stomach, whether the people I’ve known all my life have been following my rock star escapades from afar? To everyone here, I’m still half of Ellie & Mitch, after all.
Mitch was never a favorite in Barton, but I hope that my coming here with the guys doesn’t hurt his feelings any, as if he'd even find out about it.
I haven’t heard a word from Mitch since he left the festival. I’ve just assumed that he headed back up to Boston again, to wait for another school year to start. He never felt at home in Barton the way I used to as a kid.
A sudden stab of sympathy for my estranged friend hits me in the gut. He acted atrociously at Hawk and Dove, but I can’t help but feel a little responsible for his behavior. I knew that he had feelings for me, and I certainly didn’t let him down easy.
Maybe there’s a reconciliation somewhere in our future, but I’d call that a long shot. I think that Mitch was always destined to go his own way—open some tiny music venue in a small city and spend his life perfecting his technique on the dulcimer, or something. I do hope that he can find some kind of happiness without me, though.
As ugly as things turned between us, Mitch was one of the first people who really thought I was any good at writing songs. I owe him a lot for that scrap of recognition.
“There it is,” I say proudly, all thoughts of Mitch fleeing my mind as my home comes into view.
“Cute,” Kenny says.
“Cute?!” Rodney scoffs.
“Pull over here, Chuck,” I tell the driver. He promptly swings the massive tour bus over to the side of the road, just in front of my drive way.
“Why do I get the feeling we look a tad out of place here?” Trent says.
“Let me go in first,” I say, “This might be a bit of a shock for good old mom.”
“I’d say,” Rodger laughs.
The bus doors swing open, and I leap out, all but running to my front door. The sight of our shabby old Victorian nearly brings a tear to my eye. Hopefully, the place will be rid of unwanted pests this time around.
I have a feeling that my dad’s money grubbing ass won’t be coming around here any time soon after Trent’s smack down. The further out of my life that man stays, the better off we’ll all be. I got over the daydream of us ever coming together as a family again many years ago. As far as I’m concerned, Kate and Mom round out my perfect family.
We’re all each other needs.
I take the front porch steps two at a time and swing open the front door. Immediately, the smell of ginger tea with honey, mixing with a hint of pine wood, washes over me. It’s the unmatchable scent of home, and it warms me through and through.
“Mom!” I cry, hurrying into the kitchen.
“Ellie?” I hear her say in astonishment. I round the corner and see her perched at the kitchen island with a big steaming mug in her hands.
I run to her, throwing my arms around her neck. “I didn’t know when we’d see you again after...Ellie, I’m so sorry. I should have kicked him out the minute he got here. I didn’t know that you’d be coming back, or I never—”
“It’s OK Mom,” I say, mumbling into her long white blonde hair, “It’s over. I think we’re rid of him.”
“After all these years,” she sighs, “I just can’t say no to that man. I know you must think I’m weak for not throwing him to the curb—”
“Weak is the last thing I’d ever call you,” I say adamantly, “You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s a rat, is all.”
“I’m afraid that’s right,” she says, laying her hand on my cheek. “But Ellie...what are you doing here? I’m happy to see you, but...Good god, my dear, what is going on in that whirlwind life of yours?”
“You haven’t been following the tabloids?” I laugh.
“I thought I’d wait and get the real story from you,” she says.
“Is Kate here?” I ask.
“She is,” I hear my sister’s sleepy voice from behind me. I whirl around and see her enter the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. I fly at her, wrapping her up in a bear hug. She squeezes me back, strong as ever.
“You’re back,” she says, “I’m so g
lad you’re back. We were so worried.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t keep you guys in the loop,” I tell them, “As soon as we got to the festival, everything started happening so fast.”
“It’s OK,” Mom says, easing me down into a seat at the kitchen table. “It’s impossible to live your life and be worried about reporting back.”
“But for the love of god,” Kate says, as she and Mom sit down at the table with me, “What the hell has been going on with you?”
“You want the cliff notes?” I ask.
“Go for it,” Mom urges.
“OK,” I begin, “This is all going to sound insane, just so you know.”
“I delivered twins over a toilet last night,” Kate drawls, “I’m OK with insane.”
“Well,” I say, “When Mitch and I got down to Hawk and Dove, we found out that we had a space reserved for us in the talent campsite. Only, as we went to set up our stuff, we found Trent Parker trying to pitch a tent right in our spot.”
“Mitch must have thrown quite the little temper tantrum,” Mom says.
“You’ve got that right,” I laugh, “But I ran into Trent one on one the next morning, and he was perfectly...wonderful. Not anything like the character he puts on for the fans. Mitch and I had our first show, and Trent came out and everything...but it turned out that the gossip blogs had taken some of my words out of context and assumed that Mitch and I were an item. He got all excited and tried to act on his little crush, then got all upset when I rebuked him. We had a pretty nasty fight. Trent was there to step in, but...It got ugly.
“How ugly?” Kate asks,
“Ugly enough,” I say, remembering the look in Mitch’s eyes when he raised his hand to me. “But after that, Trent and I started getting close. And closer...”
“You don’t need to go into the details on that one,” my mom winks.
“Thanks,” I blush, “But it eventually got out to all the media, and that got under Mitch’s skin enough that he up and left. I was devastated, obviously, and then there was this horrible manager of Trent’s that kept trying to shake me off...Everything came to a head, and that’s when I came back here.”
Hawk and Dove (Rock Star Romance Novel) Page 22