“Why did he cry?”
Kate shook her head, obviously perplexed. “Crohn’s can be a painful condition. It requires a change in diet and lifestyle, and it needs to be managed for the rest of the person’s life. But it’s not debilitating, and it’s certainly not a death sentence.”
“Has the topic of his father or his family come up before?”
“The first time he came in to get examined. I read in his chart that he was fourth generation to go through Depot, and I asked him about it. He seemed proud, he seemed nervous. And he changed the subject. I assumed because he’s sick of being asked about it.”
“Could be,” Andy said. “I can ask the other instructors about that, see if they’ve noticed anything around Frances being sensitive about his family’s past. If that’s okay with you.”
“Of course. But am I looking for issues that aren’t even there?” Kate didn’t wait for Andy to answer. “There are so many layers to what’s going on with this troop, so many things that almost but don’t quite make sense. I didn’t share this with the instructors because I wasn’t sure if I was just…making things up.”
Andy gave another small smile. Kate wasn’t afraid to speculate, but she always wanted her speculations to be anchored in fact.
“I’ve wondered the same thing myself,” Andy said. “I keep having to remind myself that I can’t force this. Whatever this is, it’s going to have to surface by itself. And we have to keep watching for it.”
Kate gave a quick nod of agreement. Then she straightened up, massaging a knot in her neck.
“How’d it go with Shandly?” Kate said, shifting gears.
“Fine. We had a good talk, I think. Did Shandly say she wanted to talk to me, or did you point her in my direction?”
“Shandly wanted to talk to you but was too shy to approach you herself. It was the first time someone has come out to me because I’m gay, I think. Or at least,” Kate said, a smile in her eyes, “because Shandly felt like I have some sort of influence over you.”
Andy sat very still for a moment, watching Kate. This was the first time she’d ever heard Kate refer to herself as gay. Andy didn’t want to overreact, but she didn’t want to under-react, either. She wasn’t even sure how she felt about it. Her heart thudded in her chest, a snake of fear tearing up through her stomach. She didn’t want to get this wrong.
Kate saved her. She laughed sympathetically at Andy’s expression before standing up and walking around the table. Andy pulled Kate onto her lap, like she’d wanted to all night, tucking Kate’s small frame into her own body until they fit just right. Until they fit together perfectly.
“I shouldn’t laugh at you,” Kate said, her tone contrite.
“You’re one of the only people who can,” Andy said, lifting Kate’s hand and kissing her fingers as she said it. “I don’t blame you for taking advantage of that fact.”
Kate laughed again, and Andy felt the coldness leave her body. This was Kate. Her Kate. She had nothing to be afraid of. Kate leaned her head against Andy’s shoulder, pressing her warm lips against Andy’s neck. Andy couldn’t suppress the small shiver that went through her body. Kate angled her head so her lips were at Andy’s ear.
“Then should I also take advantage of the fact that we share an extremely small bed together and you somehow have the ability to be very, very quiet?”
Andy ran her left hand up the length of Kate’s whole body, turning Kate’s face so she could kiss her. Their kiss was long and slow, until Andy couldn’t remember what cold felt like. There was only warmth. Only heat.
“Yes,” Andy said to Kate, her voice a whisper. Yes.
*
It rained for the next three days solid. Camp was soggy and dark and dreary, and it did nothing to improve the mood of the instructors. By the end of the third day, Andy wasn’t sure what was going to break down first, the nearly washed-out road from the highway or the now completely strained relationship between Zeb and the rest of the instructors. The young constable was struggling to keep his body under control. He was jumpy and irritable and cabin-fevered without the ability to get outside and burn off any of his excess energy. Andy felt for the guy. She was itching to move too, to stretch out beyond the small cabins, to feel herself moving swiftly through space and the hard impact to her muscles from a long run.
By Monday night, Andy knew she had to do something. She sat at the beat-up table by the window in their cabin, having a static-driven conversation with Kurtz over the radio while Kate sat cross-legged on the bed with a stack of medical journals. Dinner had been a disaster, the cadets burning their potatoes on the hot camp stove and filling the kitchen cabin with acrid smoke.
Zeb had made a comment which Les had taken the wrong way. Meyers had attempted to intervene in his quiet way, but Les and Zeb seemed intent on hashing this out. Finally Trokof had walked around to the two instructors and said something sharply under his breath. Les had closed her eyes briefly before looking up at the cadets who had been watching the exchange with furtive glances. Les and Zeb mended fences, Trokof had left not too long later, and Andy began thinking about what the hell she was going to do to snap Camp Depot out of this.
As worrisome as it was to have the instructors at each other’s throats, even more troubling was that the three days of rain and the distraction of the instructors had allowed Troop 18 to retreat again. They had slowly, imperceptibly, closed ranks again, pulling Frances back into the fold when Kate had given the all-clear that morning. They showed up to class, they made little impression during meal times, and they followed orders without complaint. The flatness was back, the blandness was back. Troop 18 rested comfortably in their camouflage.
Andy wrapped up her conversation with Kurtz, agreeing to meet her in the morning at the highway, regardless of the weather. They would check out the condition of the gravel road and see if any of their ideas for getting the troop out for a day would come together. Andy pushed the radio into its base and cracked her knuckles, a bad habit she’d forced herself to quit years ago. She looked around the cabin. Kate’s things were spread haphazardly on various surfaces, and Andy’s were tucked neatly away. She listened to the muted crack and shift of the fire in the woodstove, the unending rain against the shingled roof. Andy walked to the window and looked out through the blur of rain at the soaked, deserted quad, barely visible through the sheets of water and the thin light from the hydro pole. Nothing moved, just a wavering glow from the porch lights on each cabin.
“So, what’s the plan?” Kate said, and Andy turned away from the window to see Kate sitting up, folding the page over in the journal and tossing it carelessly onto the floor.
“I don’t know yet. Kurtz needed to make a few calls and see what she can come up with. She seemed pretty confident we can find somewhere to take the troop tomorrow.”
“Is the rain supposed to let up at all?” Kate stretched her arms above her head then relaxed with an exaggerated sigh before rubbing the back of her neck. Andy gave a small smile and walked over to Kate. She climbed onto the bed behind Kate and leaned up against the wood walls of the cabin. She pushed Kate’s hair off her shoulder, found the knot in Kate’s neck and worked it gently with the pad of her hand, applying a gentle but firm pressure. Kate gave a soft sigh of happiness, and Andy smiled again before answering her question.
“Rain all week, according to Kurtz, but not nearly as bad as the last few days. Kurtz and I are going to check out the road tomorrow, make sure we still have an escape route out of here.”
They were silent for a long while, Andy continuing to massage the chronic knot in Kate’s neck.
“I miss Jack,” Kate said suddenly.
“He misses you, too,” Andy murmured. “I’m mainly happy we’re back together so Jack can stop pestering me.”
Kate laughed quietly, Andy feeling the vibrations of Kate’s laughter through her fingers.
“I’ll have to take him out for lunch when we get back to Vancouver and thank him for keeping you in one piece while I was
gone,” Kate said lightly, leaning back slightly into Andy’s touch. “And he can tell me all about my new supervisor,” she added, almost as an afterthought.
Andy stopped massaging for a moment. “I thought Finns was your supervisor,” Andy said, slightly confused.
“Technically, I report to Staff Sergeant Baird who oversees civilian consultants, same as Jack. But Heath made it clear all my assignments would come through Finns. So really, you and I work for different divisions, Sergeant Wyles. I’m practically fraternizing with the enemy right now.”
Andy poked Kate in the ribs with her free hand, making her laugh. She often forgot that Jack didn’t report to Finns. Sometimes Jack did, too. He referred to Baird as the ‘forms dude,’ someone he sent his stats and vacation requests to. It was a good system, though Andy didn’t envy Finns’s having to supervise someone else’s staff. Still, she appreciated the freedom it allowed. Technically, she and Kate weren’t breaking any rules being together, and they would still be able to work with each other.
“How’s your schedule going to work?” Andy said, trying to figure out how Kate was supposed to work two jobs. Even part time, the workload for either was heavy. Neither had regular schedules, either could mean an emergency response.
“I owe the ER two day shifts and one night shift per week and one weekend per month. They don’t really care when I get the hours in, as long as the schedule isn’t affected, and there are always more hours if I want them. I’m not sure about RCMP yet. I’ve got an hourly rate with minimum and maximum number of hours per week. After my probation is up, Heath said he’d talk to me about a part-time, salaried position.”
Andy finished massaging Kate’s neck, repositioned her shirt, and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. “Sounds stressful,” Andy said, deciding to voice her concerns. She played with Kate’s hair, making loose braids with her red curls.
Kate seemed unconcerned. “Could be. Could turn out to be a really bad career decision. But I feel good about having made a decision. I’m actually pursuing something with some measure of forethought.”
Andy didn’t push. She didn’t even really disagree. But Andy couldn’t help but worry. Until she knew what it looked like, until she could see Kate thriving in the dual roles she’d willingly taken on, Andy was just going to worry.
“Trokof said the RCMP is lucky to have you,” Andy murmured, keeping her other thoughts to herself. She felt Kate smile.
“He’s a sweetheart.”
Andy leaned her head back against the warm wood walls and laughed. Never could Andy have ever imagined any context in which Depot’s drill instructor Sergeant Albert Trokof could be called a sweetheart.
“Do you know the kind of hell that man put me through? Thousands of push-ups, repeating drills until I had blisters, mod-b for having one stray hair out of place or my left sleeve being crooked. He was the devil in an RCMP uniform, Kate,” Andy laughed.
Kate turned her body so she could see Andy’s face. “And do you still think that about him?”
Andy shook her head. “No. But he’s a serious hardass, Sgt. Trokof. I think he’s half the reason Troop 18 is still standing.”
“Camp’s wearing him down, though,” Kate said, her voice thoughtful. “I’m going to keep my eye on him.”
Good, Andy thought, feeling a sense of relief at hearing her own concerns out loud. She felt the weight of worry shift a little, as Kate unknowingly offered to share the burden. Andy pulled Kate in and buried her face in Kate’s chaos of curls. They held each other and listened quietly to the continuous rain drumming against the roof of their cabin.
*
To no one’s surprise, Camp Depot woke to rain the next morning. Light but steady, it pattered against the window with the occasional gusts of wind. Andy woke early, dressed quietly, and kissed Kate lightly on her way out the door, getting only a soft, mumbled acknowledgement in return. In the kitchen cabin, Andy turned on the lights, lit the camp stove so it would be warmed up when the cadets showed up in half an hour or so, and started the industrial-sized canister of coffee. She didn’t have time to wait for a first cup, so she grabbed a granola bar instead and headed out into the rain.
Andy shrugged into her storm coat, feeling the cold air worm its way under the thick fabric. She pulled her watch cap over her ears and tried not to let the weather affect her mood. Andy stepped carefully down the gravel path, swinging the wide beam of her flashlight left and right, checking for rivulets in the road from the rain. She saw a few but none wider than her hand. Fifteen minutes later, Andy saw the headlights of Kurtz’s truck, pulled in just off the highway so she didn’t compromise the road by driving on it.
Andy pulled herself into the warm cab of Kurtz’s truck.
“Morning, Andy. How does the road look?”
“Not bad. The culverts seem to be working for now. Maybe a dozen or so channels over the whole length of the road but nothing too wide.”
Kurtz grunted at the news, seeming satisfied with Andy’s report. She pulled a silver thermos out of the drink holder in the console, twisted off the lid, and poured something hot into a small cup. “Coffee?”
“Thanks,” Andy said gratefully, wrapping her hands around the small cup and taking a sip. It was hot and strong. And spiked. “Jesus, Kurtz, what the hell is in this?”
“A shot of whiskey,” Kurtz said with a grin. “What? Are you going to give an old lady a hard time for wanting to warm her bones in the morning?”
She snorted and took another sip before passing it back. “Old lady…right.”
“Speaking of old lady,” Kurtz said, “how’s Kate?”
Andy couldn’t help grinning. “Kate is good. Kate is perfect.”
“You going soft on me, Andy Wyles?”
Andy shrugged, the gesture probably lost in the dawn darkness. “It’s possible.”
“Good, you could do with a little softening.”
Andy laughed quietly and looked through the windshield into the cold, wet dark of the day. “Any luck with plans for the troop?”
“Yep. Got a good one, you’re going to like it,” Kurtz said with renewed vigour in her voice. Andy had to wonder what it was like to retire, to completely shift your brain from the overload of a staff sergeant job to…well, anything else really. “Put in a cold call to the Sports and Recreation at TRU.” Kurtz had wanted to get the troop down to Thompson River University, just at the edge of Kamloops. “The women’s volleyball team is away this weekend at CIS championships, so he said as long as someone from the RCMP signed an insurance waiver, we could have their gym time. That gives you the gym for three hours, half the pool for one, and the workout room for however long you want it.”
Perfect, Andy thought. It was an ideal space where they could run the troop through scenarios or just work them hard. It wouldn’t be so bad for Zeb, either. In fact, Andy figured she’d just turn the troop over to Zeb for a couple of hours and give the other instructors some free time.
“Yes,” Andy said out loud, mentally working through the logistics of organizing, transporting, and chaperoning the troop. Andy asked a few questions and got some timelines, the name of the director, and directions. “Perfect. I keep saying I owe you. You’re going to have to figure out how I’m paying you back.”
“Stay for a few days after the troop’s gone,” Kurtz said immediately. “You and Kate.”
Andy would love to stay for a few days, visit with Kurtz and Tara, and have some actual alone time with Kate. She also thought about her responsibilities and Kate’s new schedule. She waivered.
“We’ll see,” Andy hedged. “I’d love to, if we can.”
“Settled,” Kurtz said. “But you and Kate can stay in the honeymoon cabin. I don’t need to hear you two up all night.”
Andy shook her head again, laughing as she pulled open the door of the truck. A blast of cold air hit her in the face, instantly cooling her body temperature. With a goodbye to Kurtz, Andy slammed the door, ducked her head, and ran the few kilometres ba
ck to camp.
By the time the troop had gotten up, done roll call in the lecture cabin, eaten and cleaned up breakfast, packed a bag, slogged their way down the road to the bus, stopped at Wal-Mart to buy swim suits, and wound their way through Kamloops until they found the compact university and its athletics complex, they ended up just making their noon hour gym time.
Everyone’s mood had shifted. The cadets milled about in small, excited groups, looking like a visiting sports team in their Depot-blue workout wear. Andy signed the four-page document releasing the university from any future lawsuits as a result of the troop using their facility and put down a cash deposit on twenty locks and twenty temporary pass cards.
“Okay, Troop 18,” Andy called out. “You are with Zeb and I for the next three hours in gym two, then you’ll have an hour of optional pool time and exactly one hour after that, we will do roll call here in the foyer.”
The troop gave murmurs of surprise. Andy had basically just given them two free hours in the middle of their week. Trokof had suggested it, and none of the other instructors had disagreed. Work them hard, he’d told Zeb, fitness and hand-to-hand practice and self-defense and drills. Work them hard, give them a chance to breathe, then ship them back to camp.
“I suggest taking advantage of the unlimited supply of hot water,” Andy added just before she released the cadets. The four-minute showers had become something of a joke at camp. It was barely enough time to get clean, let alone warmed through before the hot water started to trickle off into an increasing stream of cold. Now that Kate was with her, it was really the only thing that made Andy the least bit homesick.
Once they’d each received a pass card, the cadets raced off to find the change rooms, jostling and joking down the long, tiled hallway. Andy handed out the pass cards to Zeb, Les, and Kate. Meyers had volunteered to do grocery duty today, and Trokof had asked for an afternoon of solitude. Andy had worried about this request and also saw Kate’s concern, but Trokof had insisted all he needed was a few hours of quiet to re-set, and he’d be fine. Andy had backed off immediately but just before they’d left for the wet hike to the bus, Andy had seen Kate talking quietly to Trokof. Her tone had been low, her face serious, and her gestures a combination of pleading and insisting. Andy wasn’t sure exactly what she had said to the drill instructor but when Kate looked up, a moment of understanding passed between them.
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