by Jim Harrison
Arlice was amused and had become relaxed again. She thanked him for shipping the trunks which she had always wanted. They lapsed into gossip and Joseph lay down on the bed in a hopeless attempt to rid himself of the effects of the whiskey. Arlice took off her dress and put on a robe and Joseph mentioned that she hadn't totally lost her figure yet. They went back into the living room and one of Arlice's friends raised his eyebrows in mock concern. The men were so elegant that Joseph momentarily wished he had left his suspenders back in the room as Catherine had advised. She had drunk far too much champagne and her natural coquettishness had gotten out of hand though the men didn't pay any attention.
By the time they left he had to support Catherine and he could barely support himself. One of the actors had been a marvelous storyteller and after enough drinks had been able to draw Joseph into telling some extravagantly obscene stories of country life, many of them originating with the doctor who knew everyone's business. Arlice had fallen asleep in her chair but woke as they said good-bye. She kissed him and asked why didn't he call Rosealee. He told her not to get pushy.
In the cab Catherine's head lolled and she became hysterical when Joseph thought they had better not sleep together as planned. They were both too drunk and tomorrow night would be better.
“Oh please you promised. Goddamn you. You promised,” she yelled. The cabby kept glancing in the mirror and muttering, probably wondering whether or not she was going to vomit in his cab.
When they got to the room there was a note from Daniel under the door saying that Robert wasn't back yet and he was worried. It was three a.m. and Joseph thought, let him worry, though Daniel probably just wanted to talk to someone. Catherine stripped and stumbled to the bathroom. He took a pint from his suitcase and poured a large drink. He felt no desire for Catherine and he meant to stun himself into sleep. He lay back sipping his drink and reading a catalog from the Field Museum though the words blurred and he couldn't connect the sense of the sentences and the slippery brochure was hard to hold. He felt distant from the sounds of Catherine being sick. It had been a fine evening for her after perhaps a dull year in which he had been the only diversion. He acknowledged his position as a diversion though he knew she never would. Now he felt pity for her, even liked her for the pain she felt. He went into the bathroom and found her half moaning, half dozing against the toilet bowl. He lifted her into the shower and she mumbled that she loved him. He turned on the water and supported them both under the stream but it didn't help. She giggled as he toweled her and fell promptly asleep when he carried her to bed. He had expected a whirling sleepless night but he too became nothing when his head touched the pillow.
Dawn. A soiled, yellowish light comes in the window. It is cloudy. A nude girl stands next to the bed. She rubs her face hard and sighs. She goes into the bathroom and looks into a shaving kit for aspirin and takes three. She nearly retches with the water but it passes. The water tastes like chlorine, vomit, and wine. She shakes the man awake.
“Joseph I feel terrible.”
“Of course.” He squints and rolls on his back. It is too warm in the room. Why is he in bed with Catherine? He begins to lapse back into sleep but she notices he is erect and covers him with some effort. It is pleasant to him but his dreams are with another. He should call her right now. It will wait, and he looks up at the girl sitting on him with love. She seems on the verge of sleep and slumps forward and begins crying. He comforts her until they are unjoined and she sleeps again. He thinks for a moment about the actor and how once when he was reading to his class he was so carried away everyone was enthused. Carried away where? He begins to sleep but thinks of the horse that died and Rosealee sitting up on it with his mother standing by the pump shed telling her to be careful. Arlice is standing there too and Carl is sitting on the steps rolling a cigarette. Joseph stands against the grape arbor watching Rosealee in her flower-print dress and bare feet trot the horse around the barnyard. She slows the horse by the grape arbor and he takes the halter and she smiles at him, the miniature violets on her cotton dress