Best American Poetry 2018

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Best American Poetry 2018 Page 8

by David Lehman


  now scorched to a stubborn, bleached-out gold,

  the mountains incoherent without snow.

  The breeze, sporadic at best, unloading cargo

  just to stay afloat, quickly abandons

  any pretense of carrying a scent. Only the lindens

  (a whim of early dreamers on my street)

  from some inner surge of altruism, conceit

  or pure naiveté, choose just this instant

  to loose, en masse, their all-consuming scent.

  I could spend its all too brief duration

  just sitting on my porch, breathing it in.

  My neighbor hates it—says it’s too much—

  but my Russian house cleaners used to harvest a batch

  of the tiny flowers every summer for tea

  prized all over Europe as a delicacy:

  in French, it’s tilleul, the very tisane

  that, moistening a random madeleine,

  inspired Proust’s obsession with Lost Time.

  It’s a main ingredient in Sleepytime

  and the tè per i nervi e per insonnia

  I used to drink in Italy. Tilia cordata

  is the Latin name, both for tree and flower.

  In England it’s lime (Coleridge’s bower

  hardly a prison), its unparalleled

  heart-shaped leaves the first green to unfold

  in spring, in autumn, the last to fall.

  But its best feature, of course, is the spell

  cast by its fragrance every June.

  A pity this often happens when I’m gone

  doing the “research” my daughters call a scam

  since it usually involves extracting a poem

  from some longed-for place, or, sometimes, two.

  Three years ago, in search of art nouveau,

  I scoured Barcelona, Nancy, Glasgow,

  and a section of Darmstadt called Mathildenhöe,

  once a Jugendstil (art nouveau in German) colony.

  I’d never before traveled to Germany

  and though I loved each Jugendstil detail,

  was perpetually uneasy, every guttural

  a broken razor blade inside my mouth.

  I suppose it was inevitable: the birth-

  right of a Jew born in 1956

  to parents still reeling from the war’s aftershocks.

  I have no memory

  of a time before I’d heard the word Nazi—

  always sotto voce, in that nervous hiss

  my mother reserved for fatal illness

  or—on rare occasions—the obscene.

  My earliest recollections from a screen:

  Old Yeller, Walter Cronkite, Pinocchio

  and piles of gaunt bodies in a backhoe,

  being shoveled—human bodies—into ditches.

  I badgered my mother after hearing snatches

  of unassimilable whispered conversation

  and wouldn’t take a shower until I was seven,

  worried gas might come out. That’s what my mother

  had told me: gas came out instead of water

  when pressed for what those whispers meant.

  Needless to say, I thought it was an accident,

  that a malfunctioning shower might cause my death.

  Even now, I still prefer a bath

  though I know the showers themselves were not at fault.

  just as—circumambulating Darmstadt,

  in search of still more feats of art nouveau—

  it’s not as if I didn’t know

  that the people I saw around me were far too young

  for incrimination, their German tongue

  a way of putting things like any other.

  But though I learn quickly, my entire repertoire

  was ein cappuccino bitte and danke schön

  and even uttering those sounds felt like treason.

  I decided to go Worms—where the great Rashi

  —a Rabbinic wonder—had gone to study

  in the eleventh century—

  a forty-minute train ride away

  but, en route to the station, as I imagined

  asking for the Jüdisches Museum, I turned around.

  In that setting, the two-word phrase

  seemed to sum up the whole dread enterprise:

  reducing Jüdisches to a Museum.

  I couldn’t bear to utter its name,

  much less actually to go there

  though I owe to Rashi my first glimmer

  of the endless acrobatic feats of words,

  their mutability, the daredevil speeds

  with which they abolish time and distance.

  He could find, behind the most straightforward utterance,

  an implicit labyrinthine universe

  and another behind that. (At issue was Genesis

  chapter 27, verse 19:

  fourth-grade Hebrew School with Mrs. Gelman.)

  I didn’t need a Rashi Museum; I had his commentary.

  What I needed was another history

  or at least a place where mine was less conspicuous;

  but my train was a day away. I wandered, aimless

  till I remembered reading about a Jugendstil gate

  to the park at the end of town and then forgot

  architecture in a stunning crush of green

  expansive trees extending on and on,

  so thrilling, after years in an arid climate,

  like Philly’s Fairmount Park—my father’s favorite—

  where the surrounding city seemed a shrill mistake

  at least to a little girl riding piggyback

  through the park her father had wandered as a boy.

  In Darmstadt, of all places, his fifty-year-old joy

  was newly palpable, though I now wondered

  if he hadn’t in fact felt a bit bewildered

  at being in that spot and fully grown,

  as I’ve always felt when I’ve brought my children

  to my old beloved childhood haunts.

  Maybe you’re more susceptible in strange environments?

  How could a German park bring me my father?

  But sometimes what’s familiar is so familiar

  ubiquity becomes its camouflage;

  you don’t distinguish it, don’t acknowledge

  its presence where it doesn’t quite belong;

  I’m not sure when I realized that all along

  I’d been breathing in the smell of linden,

  more intense than on my street, the very linden

  that kept me on my porch for hours dreaming.

  And while it’s not really that surprising—

  isn’t Unter den Linden

  the most famous thoroughfare in Berlin?—

  that a huge German park would smell like linden

  on the final afternoon of June,

  I—unhinged already—was undone,

  as if the trees themselves were in collusion

  to throw me off completely. How could this

  thoroughly alien, unnerving place

  have anything in common with my home?

  Was it a sign? If so, from whom?

  And what, exactly, was it saying?

  Not that it mattered. I wasn’t listening.

  It was hard enough dealing with the fragrance,

  much less good and evil, guilt and innocence,

  which I knew—in any case—are not confined

  to a single unlucky piece of land.

  But the obvious wasn’t obvious in that place;

  my principles—such as they were—were powerless

  in the face of the matter-of-fact harmony

  in evidence around me. Shouldn’t Germany

  be paralyzed by its hideous statistics?

  How could any person reconcile such facts

  a mere sixty-eight years further on?

  Still, it’s a lifetime. And we just have one.

  That is, if it isn’t ripped away f
rom us.

  But mine—by the narrow grace

  of eleven years and (some time before that)

  a shtetl subsistence so inadequate

  it sent my four grandparents across an ocean—

  is still intact. Surely, its duration

  ought to be directed toward what’s beautiful,

  my linden this very instant casting its spell,

  its outspread branches almost at my porch.

  And I’m here for once, within the reach

  of its thick, evocative perfume,

  an all-encompassing amalgam

  of itself and every time I’ve breathed it in:

  my daughters babies, or little children

  pointing their fingers and exulting tree

  then bird, then linden, then black-capped chickadee,

  my ex-husband my husband and still alive

  or me: disoriented, restive

  bolstered by a welcome shock of green

  until I realize something like this very linden

  must have been attendant on atrocity.

  Surely, if not in Darmstadt, then in another city

  (Warsaw? Paris? Amsterdam? Berlin?)

  some of those millions were smelling linden—

  given the tree’s prevalence, its heavy fragrance—

  as they were being herded onto trains?

  My daughters have been known to make bets

  before dinner parties about how many minutes

  will pass before I bring up the Holocaust.

  (You’re an easy target when you’re obsessed;

  usually, the winning number’s about twenty.)

  They’re merciless, my girls, if extremely funny

  and hardly oblivious of horror.

  But they really do think I’m in error;

  my narrowness and bias inexcusable.

  And I’m weirdly proud of their disapproval.

  Let’s hope their view won’t require accommodation;

  but if, in time, it does, no doubt, their children

  will call them on it, as well they should.

  Surely it can’t be good

  to infuse one of Earth’s loveliest offerings—

  a linden tree in June—with human beings

  at their very basest. Something’s wrong with me.

  Not to mention that my reasoning is faulty.

  No one in that appalling circumstance

  could pay any attention to a fragrance

  and even if they did, who’s to say

  whether it caused—by brutal contrast—agony

  or offered, one last time, a tiny balm?

  It’s so far beyond me. I’m safe at home

  breathing in the fragrance from my tree,

  an exquisite, if no longer entirely

  untroubled or uncomplicated pleasure.

  But doesn’t every good thing have its measure

  of imperfection lurking in the wings?

  The glass we’re obliged to break at weddings

  to acknowledge the Holy Temple’s destruction?

  In a world this damaged, this out of proportion,

  what remains untouched? Nothing at all.

  Still, who can blame me if I stay awhile?

  It can’t last too much longer, this perfume,

  but here, just now, my linden tree’s in bloom.

  from The Antioch Review

  MIKE OWENS

  * * *

  Sad Math

  My last cellmate had only a fifth-grade education.

  His name was Larry

  and he had undiagnosed dyslexia and developmental delays.

  He reminded me of my big sister DeeDee, who died

  long before I understood the futility

  of blaming the sick for being ill.

  Larry liked to play a game I couldn’t stand,

  but I felt sorry for him, so I would play along.

  “Celly,” he’d call, “they take 55% for restitution, right?”

  “Yeah,” I’d reply.

  “And my papers say I owe $9,000 right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So if my family sends me $1,500, how much that leaves me?”

  Closing my eyes, I do the math.

  “$675”

  “That should take care of me for awhile, right Celly?”

  “Yeah, Larry, that will last you awhile.”

  After that, Larry would get quiet, settle back on his bunk

  and stare at our empty lockers with a simple little smile.

  I knew he was imagining what they would look like full.

  Sometimes he’d fill out commissary lists for the prison store,

  the care package ordering forms,

  revising them daily, weighing his choices at just below a whisper.

  The amounts Larry wanted and calculated varied a lot

  but were always outrageous: two, six, ten thousand dollars.

  I pretended I didn’t notice that his family never wrote,

  and that he never received any packages or money.

  from The Way Back

  ELISE PASCHEN

  * * *

  The Week Before She Died

  I dream us young, again,

  mother and daughter back

  on 69th Street inside

  our old brownstone—across

  from the church, patch of lawn—

  a house neglected, wrecked,

  as if the family

  had been forced at gunpoint

  to move away. In corners

  dirt stacked like minuscule

  anthills; along the edges

  of room—crumpled clothes, bodiless;

  littered across the floor

  dry-cleaning bags, vestiges

  of what they once protected.

  A Turkish scarf, embroidered

  with sequins, glitter, beads,

  tantalizes. My mother

  holds it close, says, “You should

  wear it.” The doorbell rings.

  At the top of the stairs

  he waits for us to answer.

  My mother’s ballet partner,

  Russian, stows something covert

  behind his almond eyes. With three

  regal strides he commands

  our gaze, pronounces the red

  brocade robe his, lofts high

  the scarf, the sash he flung

  in Giselle, circling the empty

  living room. With mischief he bows

  low before my mother. Her love

  for him, a mountain. The doorbell

  chimes. A blond, blue-eyed dancer,

  in epaulets, arrives.

  She straightens shoulders, turns,

  walks away. Rudy asks

  Erik, “Did you ever tell her

  about us?” No response. The secrets

  men keep, my mother knows.

  from Virginia Quarterly Review

  JESSICA PIAZZA

  * * *

  Bells’ Knells

  My hands fold again and again into prayer shapes:

  a steeple, an angel, your face’s sharp angles. You strung

  all our hopes from the rafters of structures: this gothic,

  that Catholic, this cracked brick, that basement.

  Your promise: a ticking, a lingering wish

  that persists on each altar, each future that falters.

  You did the exalting. God did the exacting. Redacting

  your afternoons, vestments and basements; your words

  cold and keyhole, steel and exact. A harp’s not real singing,

  this dirge never could hold you back, and the church just

  a beautiful stack of shellacked, painted marble

  and wood. What good that we’re here, singing hymns,

  when in weeks or in months you’ll recall that ripe

  fruit in the mouth is worth salt in the wound.

  We both knelt at the pew.

  We both knew we were doomed.

 
from Smartish Pace

  AARON POOCHIGIAN

  * * *

  Happy Birthday, Herod

  Like always, Herod’s birthday is today,

  and I can hear the tambourine

  brioso. I can hear the oboe skirl.

  Like always, Salome

  is getting down to business, veil by veil.

  Her eyes are green;

  all other eyes, obscene

  ravishers of a writhing girl,

  are piercing what is see-through anyway.

  Like always, without fail,

  something repulsive has been done:

  under the Dead Sea sun

  another sort of flesh

  (that corpse I mean, the headless one)

  is summoning the blowflies—fresh

  gratification for a mother’s grudge.

  Like always, who am I to judge?

  Indifferent to whatever moral thing

  a servant might be carrying

  around the party on a tray,

  I stand with stiff voyeurs

  devouring those curves of hers,

  worshipping the elastic,

  the orgastic,

  Salome.

  Forgive me: Herod’s birthday is today.

  from The New Criterion

  RUBEN QUESADA

  * * *

  Angels in the Sun

  after Turner

  I would have waited alone a thousand

  years for the coming of angels,

  blinding bright as the spring sun to arrive,

  to abandon this world for another.

  Stunned by their flashing lights aflame

  across the bow of their space craft—landing

  lights for that world. Herds of animals:

  horses, humans, and fish fixed.

  The angels approached.

  Come angels! Come beasts!

  Men and women cried out

  to each other; the angels cried;

  some were lost between their earthly life

  and paradise and what is paradise, anyway?

  Few imagined being bound to this world;

  blue halo of emerald mountains;

  extraordinary, ordinary—they rose,

  a crucifixion yardarm flying away.

  from The American Poetry Review

  ALEXANDRA LYTTON REGALADO

  * * *

  La Mano

  For the more than 60,000 children from Central

 

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