by A. L. Cook
They stayed joined that way for a long moment, both of them too stunned to move. Then Erin’s arms began to tremble and Cam carefully pulled out of her, disposing of the condom and coming back to bed to wrap himself tightly around her, sweat cooling on their skin and their hearts slowing.
“There are no words for how fantastic that was,” Erin muttered, muffled where her face was pressed into his neck.
“I’d high five you if you I could lift my arms,” Cam agreed, smiling at her snort of laughter. And despite the confusion of the day, and the odd turn their relationship- their agreement- had taken, Cam’s eyes drifted closed, and he fell asleep, once again, in Erin’s bed.
Five
Erin glanced up as the door to the bakery opened. She smiled shyly as Mikey and Cam stepped in, his blonde hair shining in the watery mid-morning light accompanied by a cold blast of wind. He grinned back and pulled off his gloves, tucking them in his pocket and blowing on his fingers.
“It is cold out there today,” he muttered, gratefully accepting the mug of coffee Erin handed him. “Thank you,” he said reverently, taking a sip, sighing appreciatively as some of the warmth from the ceramic began seeping into his hands. “You look especially beautiful today,” he told Erin, leaning on the counter and watching her work. Shelley, the college student who worked in the bakery on weekends, giggled as she slid some pastries into the case.
Cam winked at her as she and Mikey struck up a conversation, before focussing his attention back on Erin, who just rolled her eyes. He was incorrigible. Even now he watched her over the rim of his mug, eyes hot, and she felt an answering arousal unfurl in her belly.
For the month they had been sleeping together, she had had more fun than in the last four years. Cam was sexy as hell, insatiable, and incredibly giving as a lover. He had agreed with her request to keep the nature of their relationship to themselves, and had then proceeded to flirt outrageously with her in public at every available opportunity. His friends and colleagues thought It was hilarious that he was apparently striking out for the first time in his life, and ribbed him for it mercilessly.
They spent most nights together that Cam wasn’t at the station, and more than a few afternoons saw them in bed together after Erin had finished at the bakery.
Glancing back up to find he was still watching her, Erin planted her hands on her hips and scowled. “Stop leering and get out,” she ordered. “We have work to do.”
“Hey, don’t order them out on my account,” Shelley smirked, treating Cam to a wink of her own before blatantly looking Mikey up and down and making the young man blush.
Cam’s chuckle made Erin’s toes curl. She’d felt that laugh more than once against her skin in flagrante, and knew how his tongue would flick over her nipple as he did so, teasing. She shot him a quelling look promising retribution later, even as she ignored the way the core of her throbbed.
“Who am I making coffee for today?” she asked.
“Rufus, Leo, Anna and another for Mikey and me to go, please,” he requested, handing Shelley the cash and telling her to keep the change. “But I’m actually here for another reason,” he told her, propping a hip against the counter so he could be heard over the hissing of the espresso machine. “Rufus thinks it’s time for another community awareness day slash fundraiser,” he told her. “I was wondering if you guys could maybe donate a cake to raffle off?”
“I’ll ask Maggie, but I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Erin told him, setting a coffee into a cardboard takeout tray and taking another cup from Shelley with a smile. “What did Rufus have in mind?”
“He just said ‘figure it out, boy, I don’t know jack about that… stuff’,” he amended, casting a sidelong glance at Shelley, who just rolled her eyes and grabbed a tray of dishes to take out the back. “Maybe an engine?” he asked. “Can you do that?”
“Sure,” she agreed, finishing the last coffee. “Why don’t you come over later and we can discuss it?” she said, tone innocent but her expression anything but.
Cameron laughed and shook his head. “I’d love to,” he told her, “but I’m on for twenty four today.”
“I forgot,” Erin pouted. “Come in when you’re finished tomorrow and I’ll make sure there’s a fresh cheese Danish here for you.”
“Deal,” Cam grinned. Then he leaned closer to her and dropped his voice. “I’d love to kiss you right now,” he told her huskily.
“Bet you wish you knew what I’d love to be doing right now,” she smirked back, flicking her eyes down to the front of his jeans and then back up again.
Cam groaned, grabbed the coffee and made his way to the door with Mikey in tow. “Woman, you are killing me,” he told her, making her laugh. “’Bye Shelley, ‘bye Mags!” he called as Mikey waved, leaving Erin with a grin for the rest of the day.
That evening, after having spoken to Maggie and gotten the okay to donate a cake, Erin was curled up in her armchair, sketching a preliminary design for the cake when her phone rang. Checking the caller ID she smiled and set the phone on the arm of the chair on speaker.
“Hey Cam,” she greeted, erasing a detail and sketching it in again.
“What are you wearing?” he asked, voice low.
Erin snorted. “I am totally wearing a miniscule, black lace bra-and-panty set that pushes my boobs up to here,” she told him.
“So, your big green sweater and black sweatpants, then?” Cameron asked.
“Of course,” Erin laughed. “It’s cold.”
“Still sexy,” Cam told her. “What’re you doing?”
Putting aside her drawing, Erin snagged her cup of tea off the coffee table and took a sip. “I was actually just roughing out a plan for this cake. Any idea when the fundraiser will be?
“Rufus wants to try and get everything organised for the end of the month. A few weeks of publicity, before the Christmas rush starts, and on a weekend, so we can get the kids down.”
“Sounds good, and I can definitely have this cake done by then,” Erin told him. What else are you doing for fundraising?”
“Some of the businesses in the area are donating items and services to raffle off, and there’s a calendar. But the big thing, and the one we do every couple of years, is a date auction.”
“As in, auctioning off the firefighters to win a date with one?”
“Yep,” Cameron laughed.
“That’s so fun,” Erin smiled. “I might put in a few bids myself. Mikey seems like he’d be fun to go on a date with.” The silence on the other end of the line was profound. She waited.
“Mikey?” Cam protested incredulously. “Are you kidding me? He’s about twelve, Erin!”
Erin laughed. “Twelve?” she smirked. “He’s twenty-five.”
“I don’t care,” Cam growled. “You should be bidding on me!”
“And why’s that?” Erin asked. “I see you most nights for free.”
“It’s for charity,” he told her primly, making her laugh again, before he started outlining the rest of the plan for the fundraiser.
Erin tucked her feet under herself and settled more comfortably as his deep voice washed over her. She had more laughter in her life now than she had ever thought she would have again, and it was primarily thanks to Cameron. Sex with him was fun, enthusiastic, and exactly what she needed. He was passionate, did everything she asked of him and respected her need for emotional space.
But she wasn’t an idiot. She knew he wanted more, and she was struggling with the fact that she was holding him back from having that more with someone else. Someone better suited to him, and someone who could return his affection and give him what he wanted and needed from a relationship. She didn’t want to give him up, though. Oh, she knew she was being selfish, and hated herself for it. She had no right forcing a wonderful man who wanted to start a life with someone into an emotionally one-sided deal because he had feelings she refused to reciprocate.
And that was the crux of it, really. Reciprocation. Erin had always been hon
est with herself, and she knew she was falling in love with Cam. She adored his humour, his care and consideration of her, the obvious adoration in his voice when he spoke of his family, his loyalty and his intelligence. But his career was the one thing she simply could not move past.
So she had to decide, and soon, whether or not she could keep doing what they were doing. Because no matter what she said, she did have feelings for Cam. And if anything happened to him, too, she didn’t think she’d survive it.
*
Something had been bothering Erin for the last few days, and Cam had no idea how to fix it. Ever since he had called her from work on Tuesday night as he usually did when they weren’t together, something had seemed a little off. She behaved the same, and seemed happy still, but something subtle had shifted, and it was driving him crazy trying to work out what it was.
He had barely seen her since then either, as she had been busy finishing a large wedding cake in time for the weekend. But it was done now, and Cam was lying awake in the middle of the night, Erin sprawled out all over him as she slept. He ran his hand idly up and down her back, relishing the smooth warmth of her skin, and the fact that she allowed him this much of her life.
It had been almost five weeks since they first slept together, and Cam still knew nothing about her beyond the fact that she was twenty-nine, she was originally from California, her parents had died when she was a senior in high school, and her favourite colour was white. That was it. Five weeks of sharing the most intimate of moments with someone, and he still had no clue who she really was.
But he wanted to know, oh yes. With every day that passed in each other’s company, she teased and intrigued him until he was eaten up with a desire to make her tell him, to force her hand. But he knew that wouldn’t end well, so he held his tongue. He had considered searching for her on the internet, despite her having told him she wasn’t on Facebook, or other social media, but he had resisted. Even if he never told her, it would be a breach of trust, and besides, he wanted to hear it from her. Wanted so much for her to come to him and let him know her completely. He had the beginnings of a plan to try and encourage exactly that, but until then, he just had to wait.
“I can hear you thinking,” Erin mumbled, turning her face to him, her eyes glittering darkly in the street light filtering in through the curtains. “It sounds painful.”
Cam smiled. “Just thinking about this calendar shoot tomorrow,” he told her.
Waking more fully, Erin rolled over so she was facing him and propped her head up on her hand. “Oh?”
She was completely unconcerned with her nakedness, and Cam’s mouth went dry. “Yeah, Mrs Selton’s daughter, Amy, is taking the photos. She did it a few years back and insisted on oiling the guys up herself. By hand,” he added, shuddering dramatically.
Erin grinned at him. “Maybe I’ll swing by the station for a bit tomorrow to see for myself,” she mused.
“To help with the oil?” Cam asked hopefully.
“To take photos,” Erin smirked.
“You are a hard woman,” Cameron told her forlornly.
“Maybe,” she agreed, wriggling up the bed so her body was pressed against his, “but there are parts of me that are very soft.”
Cameron just laughed and allowed her to pull his body on top of hers and let her prove her words correct.
Cam was not surprised when, true to her word, Erin showed up the next afternoon to watch the photo shoot take place, with Shelley and Maggie in tow. They had brought afternoon tea with them, a large helping of pastries baked extra that morning, and wasted no time in finding a suitable vantage point to wolf-whistle and call out helpful suggestions on posing form.
“Yeah! Grip that hose, Mikey!” Shelley called enthusiastically as the youngest member of the station blushed bright red and tried to avoid her gaze as it was his turn to be photographed.
“Good god, you’re a park of harpies,” Cam scolded, coming over to where they were seated and helping himself to an éclair from the basket resting between their seats.
“We are enthusiastic admirers of the masculine form,” Maggie responded cheerfully.
“Yeah, that,” Shelley agreed distractedly, not having taken her eyes off Mikey, still posing awkwardly with engine four’s hose.
Cam raised his eyebrows in question at Erin, who smiled. She looked incredible today, wrapped up in a cream wool coat with large brass buttons, and a charcoal pair of slacks. Her hair shone where she was sat in the midday sun, and her cheeks were flushed with the cold.
“When do you get your photo taken?” she asked with a lascivious leer. It was a teasing question, but the desire in her eyes was anything but.
“Soon,” he told her. “Maybe I’ll flex for you.”
Maggie’s indelicate snort made Erin grin. “Yeah baby,” she told him, mock-fanning herself.
Rufus, who had thus-far remained hidden within the depths of the station to avoid having his own photo taken, stuck his head into the bay and called for Cam to come and take a phone call. He snagged another pastry and excused himself, but as he walked away he heard Shelley speak.
“Would you hurry up and date the guy already, Erin?” she laughed.
“What?” Erin asked, clearly startled.
“Poor Cam is halfway to being in love you,” the young woman continued. “Cut him some slack and ask him out.”
Grinning to himself as he headed towards the offices, Cam made a mental note to tip Shelley big the next time she served him at the bakery. Still grinning, he dropped into an office chair and picked up the phone, hitting the flashing ‘line waiting’ button.
“Cam Thomas speaking.”
“Hey honey,” Miranda, Cam’s mother, greeted him, her voice warm and friendly.
“Hi, Mom,” Cam smiled, relaxing back against the seat. “How are you?”
“I’m great, Cam,” she told him. “Just calling to see if you had decided what you were doing for Christmas. Are you working?”
“Nope,” he told her, picking up a pen and twirling it around his fingers. “If anything really big comes up then I told Rufus to give me a call, but I’m rostered off.”
“Excellent!” his mother exclaimed. “I can hardly remember the last time I had you and your sisters all here for Christmas.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Cameron replied.
“Don’t apologise, sweetheart,” his mother chided gently. “What you do is important, and you’re a good man for letting those with young families have Christmas Day to celebrate with their children. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said sincerely. He was about to say goodbye and end the call when he hesitated. “Mom? Would it be okay if I maybe brought someone with me for Christmas?” he asked in a rush. “Nothing definite yet, but if she wants to, would that be all right?”
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “Of course, Cameron,” his mother told him. “Is it the young woman from the bakery?” she asked bluntly.
“Who told you about her?” Cam asked, then he sighed. “Maggie,” he muttered, answering his own question.
“She mentioned you were interested in the new hire,” Miranda confirmed, “and Ana mentioned you’d brought a date to the restaurant. Are you two serious?”
Cameron sighed. “It’s complicated, Mom. Really complicated.”
His mother hesitated. “You know I’m here any time you need to talk,” she offered.
He knew. Cam’s mom had been the family’s rock his entire life, and there was no one he counted on more. “Thanks,” he said, “but I don’t even know where to begin. I mean, she’s smart and funny and gorgeous, but she’s kind of reserved. A bit standoffish in some ways, and she has me on the back foot all the time.” He paused, thinking. “There’s something about her, though,” he murmured to himself. “She’s different. Special.”
Miranda was silent on the other end for a moment. “Be careful, Cameron.”
“I will. Listen, I have to get back. I’ll gi
ve you a call on the weekend.”
“Okay honey,” she said, her smile audible in her tone. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom. Bye.”
Hanging up the phone, Cameron frowned. Complicated. That was putting things mildly.