by Hart, Rebel
I didn’t see his bike around.
“And what if I did find a better opportunity? Huh? That make you worried?”
My eyes darted around the curb. “Not at all.”
“You sure? You’re not worried that your little Red Thorns might be in trouble without me?”
I snickered. “Gotta show up in order to contribute something, cuz.”
He frowned at me. “How about you worry about your little small-time crew, and I’ll worry about me. How does that sound?”
“Get the hell out of here while I’m still allowing you to go.”
“Allowing me? With the condition your body is in, I’m sure you couldn’t--shit!”
I charged him again, pushing through the pain as I ran after him. He spun around like the little pussy he was and raced for the road. Took a right and just kept on running. And running. And running. Until his body faded into the darkness. I panted for air as I stood there, waiting for the sound of a bike. Or the sound of an engine. Anything to signal to me that Benji was actually leaving.
I didn’t hear anything, though.
Just the chirping of crickets as darkness fell upon my home.
I stalked back over to my stool, but something wasn’t sitting right with all of this. Something in the back of my head kept nagging at me. Asking an impossible question that almost seemed too weird in its own right.
Does Benji know more about this than he’s letting on?
I mean, it didn’t make any sense. The boy was a nuisance. A fly I kept having to swat away because of his persistence. He couldn’t organize his own damn school schedule, much less something like a hit.
No, Benji would’ve never done something like that.
That doesn’t mean he has no information, though.
As I went back to buffing my bike, the question kept swirling around. I couldn’t shake the idea that, somehow, Benji was wrapped up in all this. I mean, he got very defensive when I accused him of seeing what happened and being too chickenshit to intervene. I’d never seen him get irritated over anything the way he got over that. Benji knew better than to try and take me on.
So why did he get so bent out of shape over that assumption?
More questions, and still no answers.
Fucking story of my life.
11
Dani
I ran my fingers through my hair as I caught glimpses of Hannah in the mirror. I was excited about my date with Max tonight. But my roommate was still ignoring me. She wouldn’t look at me if she didn’t have to. She didn’t acknowledge me, except to say ‘excuse me’ or ‘need this?’ It was awful. I hated it. But I wouldn’t cave in. I wouldn't let her guilt me into admitting that I had somehow done something wrong.
Because I hadn’t.
“Where are you going tonight?” I asked.
I tried pinning my hair back as I watched Hannah flip a page of her textbook.
“Getting into anything fun?”
She licked her lips and flipped another page. Much too fast to actually be reading. I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t stand people who were passive aggressive. And I wouldn't live my second semester like this, either. I’d put in for a change in accommodations if things kept on like this.
“Can I borrow your purple lipstick? It’ll go well with my blouse.”
I just knew that’d get her to pipe up. She hated it when I called her favorite lipstick purple. “It’s aubergine,” she’d correct me before handing it over.
But all she did was flip another page of her book.
Fine. Suit yourself.
I slid my hands down my purple blouse. Another purchase by my mother snuck into my things. And while I usually complained about such nonsense, I wasn’t tonight. I had on a pair of my tight black jeans with my chucks instead of heels. Especially since heels weren’t very comfortable on the back of Max’s bike. So to take things up a notch, I’d decided on this blouse. It cut a bit deep against my chest and had a flowing texture to it. One that drew the eye down my body.
And pairing it with my leather jacket made me feel strong.
“So is it all right if I…?”
I pointed toward Hannah’s makeup bag, but she didn’t say anything. So I walked over and rummaged around until I found the lipstick. Then I swiped a couple of coats against my lips. I felt her eyes on me as I did so, glaring at me. I rolled the lipstick down and tossed it back to her bag. I missed the opening and it clattered to the floor.
I caught her eye in the mirror. “Whoops. Sorry.”
Her nostrils flared and I saw her hands white-knuckling her textbook. If she really wanted to work that hard not to talk to me, then it spoke to the pettiness of her character. And it wasn’t something I’d give in to. I’d make her talk to me. There were two of us living in this dorm room and I didn’t want to feel weird or isolated or smoked out every time she was around.
“Well, I’m off. You need anything before I go?” I asked.
I spun around and faced her, not shocked that she didn’t respond.
“All right, then. Have a good time tonight. Don’t wait up.”
I gathered my things and walked out the door, not bothering to close it. Hannah had already hurt my feelings by flagrantly making plans in front of me after classes and not inviting me to go out. Not that I would’ve been able to. Max and I had already discussed our date plans this morning. But it would’ve been nice to have been invited.
At the very least, it would’ve been nice not to listen to Hannah as she made those plans. Right in front of my face. While standing in the middle of the dorm room. Giggling her face off.
Passive aggressive jerk.
But none of that mattered. I was only seconds away from seeing Max. From throwing my arms around him and racing off into the darkness of the night. I needed this, too. I needed him. To see him. To kiss him. To touch him. To feel him.
I hadn’t seen him since our evening in the sauna.
And I was already having withdrawals.
While part of me felt guilty about the strain on my friendship with Hannah, the other part of me didn’t care. I liked Max. A lot. He was quickly becoming part of my world. And if Hannah didn’t want to accept that, then there was nothing I could do about it. She didn’t have a say in who I did or did not see. She didn’t get to ice me out in an attempt to veto someone out of my world. This is what she’d wanted, anyway! For me to find someone. Make friends. Date someone. Lose my damn virginity.
Why was she suddenly pissed off?
Just focus on your date. Nothing else matters.
I smiled. Nothing else mattered at all. The only thing that mattered was the time I got to spend with Max. I pushed my way out of the dorm and started walking across the lawn. I slipped between two buildings before crossing the road, headed for that flickering lamplight. Why the city hadn’t fixed it, I didn’t know. But as I stood there, waiting for Max to arrive, I drew in a deep breath.
My eyes rose to the dorm and I saw a shadowy figure standing at the window. Hannah. I felt her eyes on me as she stood there with her arms tucked around her stomach. As if she were holding something in with all her might.
Guilt pooled in my gut before the sound of a bike tore through my thoughts.
The curtain fell in front of Hannah as Max turned the corner. I pulled my eyes away from the building and smiled as he rode up. I slipped my purse up my shoulder and held it close to me, watching. Waiting. Vibrating with anticipation as he pulled up. His bike sputtered as his feet touched down onto the pavement. He slid his helmet off and let his eyes slip down my body. The way he licked his lips shot fire through my veins. When he reached around to grab my helmet, I finally spoke.
“Missed you.”
He handed my helmet to me. “Missed you, too. Ready to go?”
“I’ve been ready all day, handsome.”
He chuckled. “Good. Hop on, Bambi. We got a night to enjoy.”
I slipped the helmet over my head, priding myself in the fact that I was getting better at i
t. I stuck my purse in his storage compartment, then tossed my leg over the back of his bike. The more I rode with him, the more comfortable I felt. And when Max revved his engine, I saw a handful of students look our way.
Watching us as he revved his engine one last time.
I like how they stare at us.
I threaded my arms around Max’s waist and leaned against him. I shifted down the seat, feeling the warmth of my inner thighs grace his back. I laid my helmeted head between his shoulder blades and drew in a deep breath. With one last pump of the gas, he took off from the curb.
Parting the seas of the night that swallowed us whole almost immediately.
I tightened my grip and held on to him. I fisted his jacket with my hands as I smiled beneath my helmet, moving with the bike. I clenched my thighs as tightly as I could, hanging on for dear life. I relished the feeling of freedom these rides always gave me. We rode in silence, my body drinking in the feel of his as I pressed even deeper against him.
His back rumbled with his growl.
I giggled at the sharp turns and squealed with the high speeds. It didn’t take me long at all to figure out that Max took the long way to our final destinations. Not that I minded. On the contrary, I adored it. I liked the fact that he wanted to take me riding. That he wanted me there, clinging to him. Behind him. Seated against him, with him at the helm. Guiding us wherever he thought appropriate. With Max, I could let go. I didn’t have to focus on tests, or midterms, or study dates, or family plans. I didn’t have to focus on the drama with Hannah, or her expectations of me, or those stupid dorm parties I had stopped attending.
With Max, there was no pressure. The word ‘no’ didn’t come with the silent treatment or some sort of retribution. It didn’t come with failing grades or disappointed parents. All it came with was a head-nod and a suggestion of something different.
He respected my boundaries.
And I really liked that.
I felt the bike slowing down and I finally looked up. My grip around his waist loosened as he pulled into a parking lot. I heard music thumping from the walls of the building in front of us. There was a small line out the door and men dressed in black taking IDs and marking on the tops of people’s hands. My eyes searched the building for a sign. Something that told me where we were.
Arbor Days.
Huh.
“Ready?” Max asked.
I had been in such a daze that I didn’t realize we had parked. I felt my helmet being slid off my head and I tried to fix the shocked expression on my face. Arbor Days was one of the trendiest clubs around here. Just on the outskirts of town, it was a fabulous restaurant I couldn’t ever afford during the day. And at night, it turned into a lounge and rooftop dance club with live music, great food and drinks, and college kids of all sorts trying to barge their way in and get a taste of things.
“It’s so good to see you.”
Max’s breathless words made my heart stop. It finally pulled me from my trance and I gazed up at him. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before he cupped my cheek. His touch felt warm. It sizzled my skin and made the hair on the nape of my neck pucker. His grin sent my gut humming and I felt a flush working its way down my body. I had no idea why in the world this man made me feel the way he did, but I never wanted it to end.
I smiled. “I missed you too, Max.”
He groaned. “Say it again.”
I giggled. “I’ve missed you, Max.”
His lips approached my own, nipping, but not kissing. I gasped as I felt his breath pulsing against my skin. When I leaned in to kiss him, he fisted my hair softly. He held me where he wanted me as his eyes found mine. And I sat there, waiting for his command.
“Say it one more time, gorgeous.”
I blushed. “I really missed you. Please, let’s not go that long before we talk again. Okay?”
He grinned. “Good girl.”
I squealed as his arm wrapped around my waist. He picked me up, his lips still hovering over mine as he steadied me on my feet. I went in to kiss him again, but he pulled away. Not being able to kiss him made me whimper. And with that sound came a cocky little wink that promised so much more to come. His hand patted my ass and I pressed myself against him, seeking comfort within his warmth.
More and more, he had started to feel like home.
And I wondered if I felt the same way to him.
We walked up to the front door, our arms threaded around one another. But we didn’t have to wait like everyone else. Max patted the bouncer on the shoulder, and after they each exchanged a smile, he let us in. Both of us. Without so much as checking our IDs. I heard people grumbling behind us. Judging us. Getting ready to gossip about us.
And I found it all so thrilling.
Max led me up the stairs. Up multiple flights of stairs, until we emerged onto the rooftop. The live music thumped and jello shots were already making the rounds on silver platters. People were grinding against one another on the dance floor. Swaying and bobbing to a rhythm all their own. I couldn't help but stare. Everyone looked so happy. And as Max pulled me to a rounded table tucked away in a corner, a scantily-clad woman walked up to the table.
“What can I getcha?” she asked cheerfully.
Max looked down at me. “Rum and Coke?”
I shrugged. “Sure, yes. A rum and Coke for me.”
The woman’s eyes fell to Max. “And for you?”
“Just a beer. Whatever your best is on tap that isn’t dark. Then water after that.”
The woman pouted. “Just one?”
He nodded. “Just one. Got precious cargo with me tonight.”
For a split second, I wondered what that cargo was. Until he pulled me close. Then I realized what he was talking about. I was the precious cargo.
I love this man.
“All right, a rum and Coke and only one beer that isn’t dark coming up. Any food for you two?”
Max’s voice sounded far off. “Not for now. But maybe later, if she gets hungry.”
Holy shit. I’d fallen in love with Max.
The revelation caught me off-guard. I wondered what that meant for us. For me. Did he feel the same way? Was he thinking it right now?
“Dani, can you hear me?”
I slowly looked up at him. “Huh?”
He furrowed his brow. “Did you hear me?”
I blinked. “What?”
“I’ll take that as a no. I asked you how things were going with you and Hannah. I take it they’re not much better?”
I love you. “Uh, they could be worse, I guess.”
“Do you want to talk about it? I know she’s your good friend.”
I nodded slowly. “She is. I don’t want to lose her.”
“I’m sure you won’t.”
“She’s just--not really talking to me right now.”
“That what got you so distracted?”
No. “Yes.”
He eyed me carefully. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure. It’s just… sticky. I know she’s very worried about my safety with you. I just don’t get why she can’t trust me on this. She doesn't even know you.”
“In her defense, you don’t really know me.”
“And you don’t really know me.”
He grinned. “Of course I know you. You’re Dani. College girl, close with her family, people pleaser. You do everything to the best of your ability and you have your life planned out. You never want to disappoint people, even if it means burning the candle from all ends until there isn’t anything left of you.”
I blinked. “Well, I know who you are, then. You're Max. President of a club, close with his chosen family, and definitely not a people pleaser.”
He winked. “Just a people pleaser.”
My gut jumped. “You only do the things you want to do to the best of your ability, and you make no plans. You go with the flow, you throw caution to the wind, and you don’t give a shit about repercussions.”
“Oh? What el
se do you think you know?”
“I know you don’t care about disappointing people unless you care about them, too. You don’t overtax yourself because so many depend on you. But that in and of itself makes you worry more than you should. You’re strong. You’re resilient. You’re tough.”
“Anything else?”
I smiled. “And you’re more loveable than you make yourself out to be.”
He snickered. “Hardly.”
I shrugged. “I have spoken.”
“Oh, you have, have you?”
“Yep. I have.”
“Well, just know that your friend isn’t wrong to worry about me. And your assessment of me is only partially accurate.”
I sighed. “I know you’d never hurt me, Max.”
“Not intentionally, no.”
I paused. “What does that mean?”
And as my eyes held his, something sinister boiled behind them. Something I’d never seen before. Something that made me freeze against him before his arm fell from around me. Was this it? Was this the part where my world shattered and left me for dead?
Not intentionally hurting you is a good thing.
But that didn't mean I wouldn’t get hurt, anyway.
And I was owed an explanation as to what that meant.
12
Max
I didn’t like the way she stopped moving against me. She didn't pull away, but she wasn’t soft against me any longer. She was on guard. And she needed to be. Because this conversation was long overdue. I needed to let her know what she was getting into with me. She deserved the right to know exactly what I was involved with. Well, not exactly. But she needed to understand that my lifestyle was rough. That people did depend on me, but not just for money. Or jobs.
They depended on me to survive.
“I’m waiting, Max.”
The waitress came by with our drinks, and not a moment too soon. I reached for my beer and took a long pull of it, hoping to relax a little bit. I wasn’t afraid. I was never afraid of shit like this. Especially with some girl. But, Dani wasn’t just ‘some girl.’ She was different. She made me feel different. And if I could get out of this without losing her, that’s the outcome I wanted.