They exchanged eye contact before Calvin got in the car. Warts and all, this was his brother. He found himself hanging on to hope.
“Jaden.” His mother had followed him outside.
He walked over to her standing on the porch.
“You continue to make me proud. This is the best gift you gave me.”
He touched his chest, thrilled that she appreciated his small effort.
“But you don’t look quite happy.”
He shrugged. The days for crawling onto his mother’s lap and unloading his problems were long over.
His mother took a deep breath. “It’s your woman? Denise? Sometimes everything can be going in the right direction, but if matters of the heart don’t move the way we want, then it can feel as if your whole world is tilted.” She hooked her arm through his and walked toward his car.
“I want to tell her that I love her.”
“And…?”
“I’m afraid that she won’t respond.”
“Do you need her words? Have her actions not shown you the truth?”
He shrugged. “I’m not a mind reader.”
“That’s not what I asked you.” She laughed. “Son, not everyone communicates in the same way. Some use words, some use art, some use symbols, some use their actions.”
“Action is her thing.”
“What has she done that made you love this woman?”
Jaden thought about the first time that he’d seen her. He’d admired her on that first day when she was stepping. “She’s a beautiful woman. She’s a thoughtful one when she helped me deal with Calvin and one of his episodes. She enjoyed meeting the family, practically insisting that we should do so to take our relationship to the next level. She’s funny and spicy and loyal…”
“See! These are not the actions of a woman who only wants to be friends. What you want to demand from her may be too difficult for her to say with the same ease that you do.”
Jaden kissed his mother’s cheek. Guess he wasn’t too old for his mother to heal any hurt and send him on his way. He’d stay out of Denise’s way until Sara’s wedding.
Sara’s wedding day had perfect weather. The sun rose high into a cloudless sky. A gentle breeze blew through, chasing away any signs of humidity. Everywhere the landscape had verdant shades of green or splashes of bright color from the wildflowers in full bloom. Nature seemed to have joined in the celebration.
Denise couldn’t agree more.
By midmorning, she and her sorors who were also part of the wedding party followed explicit instructions and headed for the church. They sat quietly in the limo, each woman lost in her own thoughts.
“I hope this doesn’t change things too much.” Asia looked out the window, but her faraway expression revealed that she was not paying attention to the immediate scenery.
“You know it will or else you wouldn’t have to mention the possibility,” Denise responded. The thought had not only crossed her mind, but nestled with a certain unease that accompanied change.
“Oh, please, let’s not get all dramatic and deep. This is Sara’s day. I don’t want to hear about anyone’s hang-ups.” Naomi looked pointedly at Denise. Even she had been transformed from a tomboy to an elegant woman.
“Since I’m a lover, not a fighter, I’d like to say that we look darn good.” Athena took out her compact and dabbed at her nose. She shrugged before snapping it closed. Nothing needed to be done. Her makeup was flawless.
They’d dressed in the hotel suite that Sara had reserved for them. Makeup artists had arrived with single-minded focus to get them ready for their bridesmaid roles.
The limo pulled up in front of the church, whose gothic design added a touch of Old World. Sara had wanted the most romantic wedding possible. Denise, however, hoped the strapless gowns would not be frowned on by the congregation or clergy. Maybe the modern style caused Sara to pick simple accessories and hairstyles.
“Ladies, we’re not the bride. Put down the compacts. You look stunning, and if I were a man, I’d be stumbling over my feet to help you.” Denise gently pushed Asia toward the door, where the driver patiently waited.
“That’s a scary thought,” Naomi teased.
They emerged from the limo in a soft rainbow of colors. Each woman stood side by side, adjusting her dress, fussing over the small details on each other.
Pastels were the color of choice. Each dress represented a shade of soft pink, blue, green, coral. Denise had chosen the coral color since it was the most difficult shade to wear without the right skin tone. It looked lovely on her.
“Let’s go in.” Denise took the lead.
Passersby, along with wedding guests, stopped to admire them. Their presence caused a stir, raising the level of anticipation for the bride’s arrival. Denise didn’t see the limo that Sara would use. But she had no doubt that her soror would not be late for her wedding.
The wedding planner spotted them. She hurried over to them, waving her hands. The women giggled at her harried state, but she was dressed like a million dollars.
“Please, ladies, Sara is in the vicinity. I need you to come into this waiting room. It won’t be long, but I want to get people seated as soon as possible.”
“I can’t wait to see her,” Asia remarked, as she was gently pushed into the room by the planner.
“Did anyone finally get to see the dress?” Naomi asked.
Everyone shook their heads.
“Knowing Sara, it’s going to be nothing short of gorgeous.” Asia sighed and dabbed at her eye.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Denise stepped up and pinched her arm.
“Ouch! What is your problem?” Asia rubbed her arm. Any tears that had shown up had now fled.
“You can cry to your heart’s content after the wedding, or at least after we get down the aisle. We all know that you can’t stop crying once you’ve started,” Denise scolded.
“Shh.” Athena peeked out the door. “She’s here.” She gasped.
The others ran to the door for their view of Sara’s entrance. Denise didn’t appreciate having to stand behind Naomi, who didn’t have to tiptoe. She elbowed her way to the door.
“She’ll need help with that train.” Denise stepped out of the room, but the planner beat her to Sara’s side.
Just then, Sara looked up. Her face broke into her familiar grin. She reached out her gloved hand and Denise stepped forward to squeeze. They air-kissed, while a burst of giggles erupted between them.
“You look marvelous,” Denise said. The emotion welled in her. After the hard time she’d given Asia, she couldn’t possibly cry.
Her soror looked like a fairy-tale princess in crisp white satin that framed her in a narrow, straight line. The style was reminiscent of the late ’50s, as modeled by Audrey Hepburn in her movies. The tiny waistline sported a sequined band.
The top half had a delicate lace overlay with tiny sequins that glinted under the sunlight. The spaghetti straps showed off her skin, which had been dusted with a shimmering powder. She looked as if she’d been sprinkled with fairy dust.
The bottom half narrowed to her feet. Although it didn’t have the intricate work of the top, the familiar glint of sequins was interspersed in the skirt. Tiny ballerina-style shoes peeked from the hemline.
“This is your day, sweetie,” Denise declared.
“My heart feels like it’s going to burst.” Sara did sound breathless. The bouquet shook as she held it in front of her. The selection of flowers matched the pastel colors of their dresses.
“We’ve got to get started.” The wedding planner didn’t wait for them to agree or disagree. She motioned to the rest of the group to fall into place. Like someone who had a little too much caffeine, she buzzed around them, fixing and straightening, then stepping back to survey her handiwork, before moving in to fix again. “Fantastic!” She threw up her hands with a look of pure joy. “We will begin.” Off she hurried, disappearing into the church.
“My stomach is in knots. My k
nees are shaking.” Sara walked toward the door to take her place. She turned around. “Is Jackson here?”
“Of course. You know your line sisters wouldn’t let anything crazy happen on your day.”
Sara bit her lip. “As we know, I’ve been here before.”
Naomi marched to Sara’s side. “You are not going to think about that nimrod. You didn’t marry him, so that doesn’t count. Your true love is waiting in there.” She softly touched Sara’s cheek. “And you don’t want us to drag you in there, right?”
Sara grinned. “Not on your life. Denise, help me with my veil.”
Denise fixed the headpiece, lowering the veil into place. “You’re going to have to let me get a photo of you.” She hurriedly pulled out her digital camera and snapped a couple shots, much to the planner’s dismay. “Let’s go do this.”
The wedding ceremony had enough reverence, humor and tears to make it a worthy memory. Flowers and satin bows decorated the chapel, marking the type of festivity unfolding under the cathedral ceiling. No sounds of children crying pierced the air. Only an occasional, subdued cough interrupted the solemn state.
From her position next to Sara, Denise viewed the men in their slate-gray tuxedoes and matching bow ties. Jackson’s groomsmen represented a diverse sampling of ethnicities who came to share on his day. She glanced out to the attendees, searching through the heads until she found Jaden. He raised his finger to his lips and furtively blew her a kiss. Her wink acknowledged her receipt. Later she would only settle for the real thing.
The vows were the couple’s creation. Denise listened to sincerity that rang through the words of conviction and pure love. In this official and religious commitment ceremony, their love surrounded them in a warm cocoon. But Denise suspected that their cocoon had the strength of steel.
A tear slipped out and she quickly dabbed. Over her tissue, she caught Asia’s eyes, which had started their own leaking. Subtly tissues were distributed along the bridesmaids’ line to stem the steady stream.
Once more, Denise glanced over to Jaden. Standing as a witness to love did something to her head. Her heart had already gone to the other side, but her head, her mind was slow to follow. Looking at Jaden, her man—strong, compassionate, loyal and fearless—she couldn’t imagine her life without him. She was glad he had agreed to come to the wedding. Most guys felt too much pressure with the occasion.
Her attention returned to the ceremony for the exchange of rings and the kiss, which caused an eruption of cheers and applause. As the final act of the ceremony, Sara and Jackson jumped over the broom together to the congregation’s riotous delight.
Denise endured the receiving line and the long photo session. Part of her impatience was due to being unable to get to Jaden. The wedding planner guarded them with the zeal of a prison guard. They couldn’t go to the ladies’ room without her permission with strict instructions to return in two minutes.
Denise decided that two minutes was better than nothing. She made sure to walk close to the church’s entry, where Jaden waited.
“Are you bored out of your mind?” Denise bumped him with her knee.
“Nope. I’m enjoying this actually. I think you look sexy in that dress.”
“Shh. You’re in a church. You can’t use that word or have those thoughts.”
Jaden grinned up at her. “What I plan to do won’t be near any church.” He moved his leg to avoid her playful slap. “There’s a woman glaring at us.”
Denise didn’t want to turn, but she didn’t have to. The planner stood at her side. “I think you’re needed elsewhere.” Her tone froze any further flirtatious moments Denise thought of entertaining.
Denise headed back with the planner’s hand securely attached to her wrist.
The reception provided a wonderful wrap-up for the wedding celebration. The weather continued to grace the proceedings as the afternoon wound down. The country manor was a hit. The guests admired the setting with many compliments. The planner had outdone herself with an intimate romantic setting of cream with splashes of the pastel colors along the tables and decorations. No one had to tell her that she’d done a good job. Her self-evaluation was evident in how she strutted around the reception. She’d also managed to soften her directives toward the bridesmaids, as Denise pointed out to keep Naomi from clobbering the woman.
With military precision, the introduction of the wedding party and of the newly married couple signaled the beginning of the reception. Denise had barely had time to eat when Sara and Jackson were told to begin the first dance. In a matter of minutes, every bridesmaid and groomsman joined the couple in a waltz around the floor. Denise made small talk with her escort to be polite. Once the dance was over, she thanked him and went in search of Jaden. He was in deep conversation with the men at his table, talking about sports.
She leaned into his ear. “I want to dance with you.” She gently blew in his ear, just in case he thought he could finish his thought on this year’s draft pick for pro football.
Jaden excused himself and took her to the dance floor. “You like to play dangerously, I see.” He pulled her close to him. “You know, I just realized that we’ve never danced with each other.”
“We’ve danced, maybe not on a dance floor. But what we’ve done is no different.” She slid her hips against his, maintaining eye contact for her silent message. A seductive love song played in the background.
“Hmm. You do have some rhythm.” At that moment, he spun her around, bringing her back to face him.
“I was thinking the same thing of you. I can’t have a boyfriend who can’t keep a beat.” Denise subtly rubbed her body against his before resting her head against his chest.
“Do you dare doubt my skills?”
“No, it’s just been a while since I got to see or feel them. I might be out of practice by the time you next exercise your skills on me.”
Jaden kissed the top of her head. “I could eat you up, right now.”
“Promises. Promises.”
Jaden dipped her. His eyes slid down to her mouth. Then he righted her and pressed his lips against her temple. Jaden deftly spun her, breaking away from further skin contact.
They finished the song in a tight embrace. Denise closed her eyes, swaying to the beat. The next song began and they hadn’t released each other.
“Denise,” Jaden said softly.
“Yes.”
“I love you.”
Denise’s feet remained rooted, abruptly interrupting their dance. She’d wanted to hear those words.
“I love you.” Jaden repeated against her hair. She pressed her head against his chest.
She couldn’t budge, despite the subtle pressure to continue the dance. Jaden took a step back from her. She dared not look into his eyes. Her pulse had picked up speed.
“Did I say something wrong?” Jaden asked, slowly.
“No,” she whispered. The hurt in his tone gripped her heart. “Thank you.”
“What does that mean? I don’t want your gratitude. I want to hear you say that you love me. I thought that you loved me.”
“This isn’t the time or place.” Denise looked around to make sure no one had picked up on their disagreement. “I’ve got to go.”
“Once again, you’re on the run.” He matched the pace of her retreat. “This time, we’re going to talk this one through.” He held on to her elbow. “What games are you playing?”
She’d almost reached the door. “I can’t think.” She shook her head. “I’m not ready.” Suddenly, the hairpins stuck in her hair to keep up the style bothered her. The dress, with its layers of lace, itched her skin. Her feet grew tired of the pumps. She wanted out of everything.
“Love isn’t on a schedule. There’s no appointment on a calendar. It just happens.” Jaden stepped between her and the door. “What are you afraid of?”
Denise stepped back. Her eyes welled with tears. “I want you with all my heart.”
“Okay. I can live with that.” He
rubbed his forehead.
“But shouldn’t have to.”
“If you can’t say that you love me, then tell me that you don’t love me. Tell me that it’s over.”
“You caught me off guard. The wedding was beautiful. Sara and Jackson, they bring tears to my eyes.” She gulped. “My life is on the mend. I’m a little broken. I want to come to you when I’m whole, in one piece, telling you that I’m ready. You don’t deserve any less. I’m not your responsibility to fix. What if I can’t kick my habit? What if I let you down, or bring you down?”
Jaden stepped aside, allowing her to pass. His gaze was fastened on a distant point. His mother’s advice seemed a long time ago. Pretending that he didn’t need to hear her response only worked for so long.
Denise found the bridal suite reserved for Sara if she needed to get away or to change. During her hasty, teary-eyed exit, she’d bumped into Sara. Blurting Jaden’s name earned her the key with no questions asked. Denise appreciated that Sara didn’t follow.
A knock sounded on the door.
Curiosity must have got the best of Sara. Now she’d play mother hen at her own wedding. Denise could suck it up long enough to tell Sara to ignore her meltdown.
She opened the door, expecting to see Sara. Instead, Athena stood barefoot in the doorway with her shoes in one hand and a glass of water in the other.
“Sara sent me. Actually she commanded. So talk!” Athena handed the glass to Denise.
“I screwed up. Big.” Denise spun the water glass around in her hand.
“I’m listening.”
Denise filled her in, which meant that she had to disclose her family’s issue, more about her gambling addiction and her fear of depending on Jaden for all the wrong reasons.
Athena clucked her tongue. “That’s a heck of a lot to deal with. I’m sorry that you felt you had to carry that load. And what about Jaden? Did he run for the hills when you told him all this?”
Denise shook her head. She squirmed.
Gamble on Love Page 16