Cyborg Heart

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Cyborg Heart Page 22

by Anna Lewis


  “Well because my friends and I were so interested in the shapeshifters. We wanted to know what it was like to be with them all.”

  “And none of them stuck?” I asked curiously. How could she go through such an exciting time, just to end up with a human? I was glad of course, that led me to being born, but I did want to know more. How had I never heard this story before? Had I really been that uninterested in shapeshifters?

  “There was a vampire that I liked very much, but I left. I came back home, and that was the end of all of it.”

  That filled me with a weird sense of loss. One day that would be me too, returning back home, leaving this all behind. The plan that had helped me get here now felt like the most restricting thing. It made me feel numb and empty.

  “Then I met your grandfather and fell in love, so it all ended up happy.”

  “Yeah,” I murmured, only half listening now. Her story had given me so much to think about. But there was something that she had me certain about…. Dragons. I couldn't even imagine being with any of the other species. They just didn't hold the same appeal for me. The vampires were far too perfect and intimidating for me, the wolves were too hasty, too fiery, too speedy… Dragons were the only ones who I felt attracted to at all.

  “Anyway, how did you date go?” she asked, bringing me back into the present moment. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

  “So much,” I replied quietly. “Too much.”

  How was I going to go back now? How could I end up like my grandma, married to a human man? How could I leave this magical life behind? Everything about this place was wonderful, it had already changed me in ways that I hadn't expected, and now I wasn't sure that I could just go back to that version of myself and my life.

  But I couldn't stay… could I? I mean, what would I even do here? I couldn't leave my grandma behind, I couldn't forget my past life, I couldn't just stay…

  So what the hell was I going to do?

  “Come on, tell me everything,” Grandma insisted, sensing my inner turmoil. “I bet I can help you. I've been through it all.”

  At least I had her, at least I had someone on my side to help me, at least I wasn't alone…

  ***

  To be honest, laying it all out for my grandma hadn't helped me as much as I might have hoped. It was nice to get some of it off my chest, but of course she didn't have the direct answers for me. She just listened and told me that it was my life, and that I should do with it whatever I had to.

  The only problem was I had no idea what that was.

  After an almost totally sleepless night, I made me way up to the library. Since I had no training scheduled that morning, I decided to do some research of my own. Not only would that serve to give me some much-needed thinking time alone, it would give me the chance to do some extra reading on dragons. If I wanted to date one, never mind… whatever else, then I felt like I needed to be better equipped with information.

  As I scanned my eyes through endless books, sucking up the facts like a sponge, my mind went to places that it had never gone before. I actually began to wonder what it would be like to be a hybrid. I'd never even dreamed about it before, but now it was a real possibility that I had to consider.

  Sure, that was moving very quickly from only one date, but I couldn't pursue this thing with Arden without deciding what I might or might not like to do further down the line.

  Would I like to be part dragon? Sure, I wouldn't be able to fly or anything, but I would live a lot longer. I'd look different too – more dragon-like. That part would be quite cool. I'd always thought that I was a little plain looking. It would be quite exciting to look more special...

  But it would mean giving up on so much too, and that was scary. I didn't think the narrow-minded older generation of my home town would readily accept me back with a dragon in tow, and I can't imagine anyone as interesting as Arden wanting to live there either. It would mean either staying here, or moving on somewhere else… both thoughts were too terrifying for me…

  “Hey there,” a silky voice suddenly broke through my deep thought barrier. “It's Hattie, right?”

  As my eyes traveled up his body, I already knew who it was but I had to fully see him first to accept that it was him. And when my eyes eventually connected with his, I felt the world fall out from beneath me, leaving me with swirling, crazy emotions.

  All of a sudden, Sephy's words filled my mind once more:

  “That's so weird. I could have sworn that there was some sort of… unspoken chemistry between you and Muth the other day.”

  Oh God, how the hell was I going to handle this now?

  “Erm, y… yeah,” I stammered awkwardly, my cheeks flaming with humiliation. I wanted to be cool, calm, and collected, but it seemed like that was never going to be me. “I'm Hattie. You're Muth?”

  “I am,” he chuckled lightly. “Can I sit with you?”

  There went my quiet morning, but for Muth I didn't mind. He seemed to turn my brain to total mush. He was too good looking, it was so challenging to even think around him.

  “Of course you can.”

  As he sat down, I felt heat pouring off of him, and that made me acutely aware of his body position. It also made me feel extremely needy for him, in a way that I could barely control.

  “So, we haven't really met properly, have we?” he asked, shaking my hand. I shook my head quickly as electricity raced up my arm to my heart. “I have been here for so long, and you're the first face I've ever really noticed in the revolving door of people.”

  Oh God, this was too intense, too much for me. I did feel bad about Arden as I sat there feeling a flirtatious atmosphere surrounding me and Muth, but I couldn't seem to help myself.

  “Really?” I heard myself asking. “Why is that?”

  “I don't know what it is about you,” he mused thoughtfully, making my heart race a whole lot faster as he studied me intensely. “There's something different about you… something special.”

  This, about me, coming from him… it was almost laughable. He was so handsome, so sexy, and he was saying that about me? I was stunned.

  “I… I… thank you…” I stammered like an idiot. “I don't really know what to say.”

  “You're sweet too,” his hand crept ever closer to mine, making me tremble with anticipation. Every fiber inside of me was screaming at me that this was oh so wrong, but in the moment, in the hazy lust surrounding us both, I couldn't seem to do anything about it. “Are you going to the party tomorrow night? I'm not quite sure who's holding it, but it should be fun.”

  I vaguely remembered Sephy mentioning something about the party to me, and if she wanted to go then there wouldn't be much hope of me getting out of it. “Erm, yeah I think so,” I said. I tried to smile back, but I wasn't entirely sure that it came across that way.

  “Well that's wonderful,” he gave me such a genuine happy smile that it made my stomach turn over with butterflies. “I'll have to come and find you there.”

  And then he was gone, and I felt cold and lost. I did my best to bury my head back into my book, to shut my thoughts off, but they kept reeling in over and over again.

  What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't be arranging trips to parties with another guy after that wonderful date with Arden. But… what if Muth wasn't as into me as I was him? What if I blew Muth off just to find out that Arden only saw us as friends?

  Or was I trying to give myself an excuse to do something that I already knew that I wanted to do? Was I the absolute worst person around? Why did I keep digging my already complicated hole even deeper? What the hell was wrong with me?

  ***

  “This party is incredible!” Sephy yelled in my ear, trying to be heard over the thumping of the music.

  I smiled back, swigging my drink quickly. I was happy to be here, excited to be having fun with my friends, but I was so anxious that Arden was with us, so nervous that Muth would be here. Although nothing else had happen with either guy, I wasn't sure how t
o act around any of them, and if we all ended up together I feared my head might explode.

  “Shall we get some more drinks?” I asked quietly. The only way that I could even begin to survive this was to get drunk. That way I could at least blame any strange behavior on that.

  I had the horrible sense that I'd been acting awfully, leading two guys on, and that it would come to a head tonight… when I really wasn't ready for it.

  “I'll grab them,” said Arden. He grinned at me, sending me a wink, one that only served to make me feel even worse inside.

  “Oh God,” I panted to myself as he finally left us alone. I needed a moment by myself to just breathe, but unfortunately Sephy and her amazing hearing was never going to let that happen.

  “Bathroom,” she insisted, grabbing hold of my arm. “Something is going on with you and I need to know what.”

  I honestly felt bad that I hadn't told her anything yet, but I'd been too afraid. When it was just me with feelings for two guys, that was one thing, but now that I'd actually been out with Arden, it felt like it was that much more of a betrayal. I felt like I was a horrible person, and I didn't particularly want to share that version of myself with my friend.

  “Okay, spill,” she demanded as soon as the door closed behind us. “Why are you being so weird? Is it Arden? Do you not like him?”

  “No, I do,” I retorted quickly. “I meant what I said the other night. I really did have a good time on our date, it's just...” my head fell into my hands as the shame overcame me. “It's Muth, I like him, I really do.”

  “I knew it!” she interrupted triumphantly. “Sorry, sorry, this isn't about me... carry on.”

  “Well, I never thought that he would like me too, but we had this really charged conversation in the library, and now I'm all confused,” I said. I felt emotionally exhausted, drained, like the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders, but all Sephy did was laugh.

  “Oh my God, is that it?” she squealed happily. “I thought it was something like... really drastic.”

  “Isn't it?” I exclaimed, having tortured myself over this, it did feel dramatic to me. “I mean, I don't want to hurt anyone.”

  She grabbed hold of my shoulders and stared deeply into my eyes. “Look, are you marrying either of them?” I shook my head, wondering where she was going with this. “Then you need to stop panicking. You have very human ideals, and the shapeshifters don't necessarily think the same way. The guys won’t mind if you date them both at once, as long as you're honest. Who knows, they might even both want you at once!”

  “Oh God,” the mere thought of that made me feel a little faint... but not as put off as I might have once assumed. It was scary, but also a little exciting too. Dragons were supposed to be the kinky ones after all...

  “Come on,” said Sephy. She smiled warmly at me, reassuring me a little bit. “Let's get back out there. Have some fun, and please stop worrying.”

  “I will,” that part I could do. I could at least stop feeling like everything was coming to an end. This was supposed to be an enjoyable experience after all...

  ***

  Somehow, at some point in the night, I ended up a little drunker than I expected to. I wasn't wasted or anything, just tipsy enough to shed my inhibitions and get up on the dance floor. The music was loud, the floor was filled with sweaty, moving bodies. It felt like the only logical thing to do.

  Plus, Sephy pulled me up there, so I didn't really have much choice.

  As I swung my hips in time with the music, and I allowed my arms to sway above my head as I really let go, I felt an unexpected body press up behind mine.

  “Hey there,” the familiar voice whispered into my ear as his hands found their way around my waist. I was frozen in shock, unable to move, but my heart was racing excitedly in my chest too. “I'm glad that you decided to come.”

  I couldn't answer. I simply couldn't get my mouth to move, so I was actually glad when he started to move, grinding up against me in a way that felt incredible, allowing me to loosen up a little. He felt so damn good pressed up against me, that I almost lost my mind.

  But then my eyes flickered upwards, and I spotted Arden watching us, and that cold shame washed over me once more. Except... he didn't look mad. If anything, his eyes had lit up at the sight of me with Muth, and he moved slowly towards us as if entranced.

  I shot Sephy a panicked look, but all she did was wink at me, before turning back to the werewolf that she'd been dancing with and hitting on all night long, completely abandoning me with my plight.

  I didn't know what to do. It was either run for the hills or keep on acting like everything was normal. I really wasn't in the right frame of mind to run, so I just kept on swaying my hips.

  Not one to back down to the challenge, Arden began kissing my neck and running his hands up and down my curves. That action seemed highly inappropriate, not least because we were in public, but also because Muth was still behind me, and I could feel his thick, pulsating erection pressing up against my ass.

  I knew that I should push him off, that I should tell them both to stop, but I couldn't. I was feeling far too many things at once to do anything logical. I instantly became a slave to my sensation, and instead I found my head lolling to one side instead.

  Muth's hand began to discretely work it's way up my thigh, and with the intense bolt of lust that raced down to my core, I knew that if I didn't put a stop to the moment, I would end up doing something that would feel wonderful at the time, but that I'd regret later on, right here in the middle of the dance floor...

  ***

  “I have to go,” I panted, pushing my way away from them both. I instantly missed their hands all over me, I immediately felt cold, but I needed to go. I have to get some fresh air before I end up going insane.

  I knew that I'd said I would have some fun, but public sex wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind!

  I shot them both a regretful look as I raced away from the dance floor, just needing to be outside and alone. This was a mess, and it was getting messier by the second. If I wasn't careful, I was going to end up with a whole lot of enemies and negative experiences to take back home with me. It would be back to my boring, lonely life with only sadness to get me through.

  The fresh air hit my face hard, and as I sucked in some cool, calming breaths, I felt a single tear snake down my face. I'd never acted so crazily before, and it was all starting to become a little bit overwhelming for me.

  As I heard voices behind me, a laughing couple who sounded far too happy for my liking, I snaked my way into the nearby alleyway, just so that no one could see me. Eventually I was going to have to make the decision of whether to back in there, or to sneak home alone, and I needed my head to calm down first. Whatever choice I made, I wanted it to be the right one.

  “Hattie?” I heard a voice calling me before I'd even had the opportunity to cool down my thumping heartbeat. “Hattie, where are you?”

  I half debated remaining silent, before realizing how childish that would be. Arden had taken me out on a lovely date, the last thing he deserved was the silent treatment from me. Just because I wasn't ready to explain myself, didn't mean that he wasn't ready to hear it.

  “I'm here,” I finally replied weakly. “Round the corner.”

  As his body came into view, I felt my heart lift a little... until I realized that he wasn't alone. He had brought Muth with him, effectively bringing the problem that I'd been trying to escape right to me.

  “Oh erm... sorry,” I stammered, feeling like an idiot. “I don't know what...”

  “It's okay,” Arden reassured me kindly, taking my hands in his. “I know this must all be a bit much for you. Sephy told me that you grew up in a human place, so you don't have much experience with shapeshifters. This must all be a bit much for you.”

  I nodded sadly, wishing that everything could be different. If only I hadn't been so sheltered, if only my mind hadn't been closed off...

  “Look,” Muth interj
ected, moving next to Arden so that I could see him much better. “We both like you... a lot, and I get the strong sense that you like us too. Dragons, we aren't possessive like humans, we are happy to share you.”

  I stared up at him, feeling like I was experiencing something from a dream. I hadn't even experienced what it was like to be with one man yet. Could I really handle two?

  But nerves aside, I really did want to. My body was screaming out for both of them, begging me to put my self-doubt to one side.

  As if Arden could sense my inner turmoil, he stepped closer and kissed me lightly, in the same way that he'd started kissing me after our date. I felt my heart flutter and the butterflies flapping wildly around once more. I almost forgot that Muth was there while I lost myself in Arden's lips.

  That was until I felt him pressed up against me again, and his lips traced up and down my neck – a place that I hadn't even realized was an intense erogenous zone until tonight.

  Arden's hands moved over my breasts, lightly playing with my nipples as he moved. Muth's fingers tickled the inside of my thighs, turning my legs to jelly. I had to cling on to Arden's shirt tightly, just to stop myself from falling to the ground.

  As the boys explored me in that dusty little alleyway where I'd come for some peace and quiet, what was right and wrong flew out the window, as did the thought that none of this felt real. Arden and Muth were setting my body alight, igniting a fire inside of me that I hadn't even realized was there, and I never wanted it to end. This wasn't like the dance floor, where I was afraid of everyone looking at me. Now, I just didn't care. Anyone could have walked around the corner, and I wouldn't have wanted to stop.

  “Is this okay?” Muth whispered playfully in my ear. I nodded, sliding my eyes shut as the crazy fantasy became a reality. “Do you like this?”

  An involuntary moan escaped past my lips, answering his question for him, which gave him all the encouragement that he needed. He moved his fingers up to outline of my plain, cotton panties, and he began fiddling with it, teasing me, making me hotter, wetter, and far more excited by the second.

 

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