As long as Aurora Whitcomb is our leader, nothing will get better.
CHAPTER THREE
AURORA
Every morning is the same. Every day is the same. Every night is the same. In this room that I’ve lived in all my life, nothing has ever changed.
Same four walls trap me. Same schedule keeps me occupied. Same brother, same mentor, same maid, same defender are the only faces I’ll ever see in real life. Today’s nine o'clock is the same as yesterday’s nine o’clock and will be the same as tomorrow’s.
And. I’m. So. Tired.
Of being trapped.
The pull has never been stronger. The ache has never gone deeper. The desire has never burned brighter.
I see them. I see the people—my people walking around every day. I see them on my monitors, on the many, many screens that grace my surveillance room. I have their faces memorized, their names committed to heart. I watch them every day, knowing them as they will never know me.
Every night, I go to bed while tears stain my pillow, while my sides cramp by the force of my sobbing, and I pray. I ask God—I ask her—is this it? Will this be my life forever? Did I come into this world only to leave it unknown by anyone but Titus and Krin?
And every night I feel the same assurance that soon—soon a day is coming when I’ll get to leave this isolated prison of concrete walls and cruel loneliness. Soon I’ll join my people in the sun-bathed streets of Frankfort. I’m meant for more than this life, and soon…I’ll prove it to the world.
* * *
I stare at my reflection in the mirror as the maids smooth out the seams of my gown for the Transition of Power ceremony in which Titus will officially hand the reins over to me in front of Congress. The official coronation isn’t for another six weeks, when I turn seventeen, but once Titus steps down, I’ll still have ultimate power to execute action.
Titus. I have to see him again for this ceremony to take place. A weight settles on my shoulders, and I suddenly feel like I’m going to throw up at the thought of being in the same room as him. It seems like the more time I spend away from Titus, the harder it is to be around him. The memory of him is accompanied by a flood of nightmares of being locked in that small room that was a prison. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to see his mocking eyes, see his arrogant grin, or hear the condescending authority in his voice. Everything about Titus takes me back to being the lost girl who wanted out. My throat constricts and I close my eyes.
And breathe in. Breathe it all in.
I allow the energy to fill up my lungs, flow through my muscles, ignite my bones, and surge through my veins. I feel it pour down my arms and into my fingers, burrowing into my soul.
Exhale back into the universe.
Another breath.
More energy cascading down my body, from my head to my feet, simultaneously calming, soothing, and empowering.
I am a princess, cut from onyx and smooth as marble. I am a queen sharpened from steel. I am power. My life is my own and no one can control me.
Breathe in. Breathe it all in.
Power. Freedom. It’s mine. It’s in my hands.
No more fear, Aurora. No more hiding away. No more pretending to be someone else. You are you and after today…Ky is yours.
A calm comes over me. The courage I’ve just recently become familiar with fills me up. I open my eyes and look at my reflection. My dress is blood red—bold and beautiful and not me. I would rather wear pants and a T-shirt and have my hair pulled back into a braid. But Krin, my mentor, picked my dress out. She told me red is fearless. Dressed in red, I would be able to take control of the room, the city, the country.
And I want to lead. I want to take control. I’ve been dying to leave my room and do what I was born to do since I learned there was a whole world out there. But I’ve been hiding all my life and making an appearance in public always puts me on the verge of hyperventilating.
“It’s about time a woman took the reins,” Krin says, stepping up beside me and looking at my reflection. “You’ll have to be twice as aggressive as Titus, though.” She wears that same determination that’s always present when she talked to me about not letting Titus manipulate me. Mouth settled in a firm line. One brow raised. The look in her eyes that tells me to never settle for less than what I deserve. “In order to get the same amount of respect, you’ll have to be colder, harsher, and carry out every threat you dispel.”
I nod. “I wish I could just replace Titus's entire council and start out with new members, who I know support my leadership.”
Her expression softens. “In time. Wait until things settle down. For now, these are the people the Patricians look up to. And you need to stay on the Patricians’ good side until the government starts running smoothly again.”
“Of course.” It’s so good to have Krin back in my life. She’s always been the pillar of support for me. The guiding light. The only person who reminded me that the insane one wasn’t me, but Titus. I’m still surprised at how well she keeps herself together after Forest’s death.
The maids finish the final touches of my hair. Pulled back in multiple braids that connect at the nape of my neck and merge into one braid, it’s the most elaborate my hair has ever been, apart from Ember’s funeral. Titus wants to downplay my appearance when I come out to the public. But Krin wants to make me shine.
Once the maids leave, I sink on the edge of the sofa and wait for Mcallister to pick me up and escort me to the Transition of Power ceremony. He’s been one of the few trustworthy Resurgencies since I came into power. He came back from across the river just after Ember died. I guess he was hoping to help her and Rain. He’d been so kind to me in the caverns, I couldn't get myself to arrest him like I’d arrested Rain, so I gave him the option to return with us or go back across the river. Surprisingly, he chose us. Now I’m wondering if he only stayed behind to act as a spy. All the better. If I do exactly what the Resurgence wants me to do, and he reports back to them, then maybe they’ll come back and support my leadership.
Assuming Titus does what he’s supposed to and actually hands over the leadership today.
My stomach twists at the mere thought of Titus handing me power in front of the Patricians who aren’t sure about me. These are the people who want Titus back. These are the people who are confused about me and Ember, and how many of us Whitcomb girls there are. Because these people adored Ember, and they’re not too sure about me. In fact, when they learned I was posing as Ember while Ember’s life was at stake, they were pissed, and rightly so. They have no clue it was Titus’s idea for me to pose as her. With Titus locked up and Ember dead, I am absolutely the villain in their eyes.
Krin finishes sending the last maid out, then sits beside me. She gently places her hand on my shoulder, and now, with no maids around, no one with whom I have to appear strong, my emotions decide to make an appearance. They well up in my chest until my eyes burn, and I collapse. I fall into Krin’s arms, and I hold back my tears of uncertainty and anger because crying just before this event is not the right thing to do. But I haven’t spoken alone with Krin that much since before the Resurgence took me.
Which makes me think…
I stiffen, then pull away and search her gray eyes. “You told Ember to kidnap me.”
She arches her brows, concern and understanding filling her eyes. “Do you wish I hadn’t?”
“I…wish you’d talked to me about it first.”
“Of course. But there was little time. And your kidnapping had to appear genuine. If you were willing to go with them, Titus would have immediately pegged you as a traitor and would have been more determined to hunt you down and kill you. And I wasn’t all that sure you would agree to go with them.”
I look down at my hands. “No. I wouldn’t have. Not after everything Forest said about them.”
Forest. I catch my breath, cover my mouth. I still can’t believe he’s dead. He died. For me. I peek at Krin. Fo
rest was her son. Oh, I know the feeling of losing a son. The ache in my chest builds at the memory of Gideon. But at least I know he’s still alive…somewhere. I have hope. Krin knows for a fact that Forest is dead.
My heart goes out to her, and I reach over and wrap my fingers around hers. “I’m really sorry about Forest.”
She nods while staring at our hands linked together. “I should have spent more time with him. I should have—I shouldn’t have abandoned him.”
Guilt eases into me. She left Forest to be a mother to me. She left Rain to be a mother to me. Krin has every right to hate me. It’s my fault she spent so little time with her sons. It’s my fault Forest is dead. I begin releasing her hand, suddenly feeling unworthy of being Krin’s friend, but she tightens her grip, refusing to let me go. She pins me with those gray eyes, and she looks like she can see into my soul.
“Every decision I made was my decision, Aurora. Understand that. It was my choice to spend so little time at home with my sons. As much as I miss that time I could have had with them, I value every moment I spent with you. You are my god-daughter. You are the chief of Ky. Every minute I spent mentoring you was in preparation for this moment, which happens to be a new era, a clean slate, a fresh dawning of our country. Do you understand that?”
I nod slowly. She reaches up and takes my face in both her hands. “Do not for a second blame yourself for anything associated with Forest or Rain. Forest’s death rests on my head. Rain’s anger rests on my head. Ember’s death—” Her voice cuts off. She blinks once, then continues. “Ember’s death rests on Titus’s head. Okay? The last thing you need to do right now is take blame that’s not yours to take. The country is relying on you. Focus. Lead. No regrets.”
“No regrets,” I repeat.
She lowers her hands. “You’ve dealt with enough pain in your life. You’ve been guilted, manipulated, ignored, abused, violated. Your entire life has been being trampled on by men. First your careless, abusive father, then your insatiable manipulative brother. But you’re chief now.” A slow smiles grows on her face. “Do you understand that? No one. No. One. Can control you without going against the law. If one person steps across the line, if you catch one whiff of manipulation, you have every right to dismantle that person of their duties. Do not allow Titus’s council to walk all over you. Leave them in power for a few weeks to keep the Patricians happy, but take note of who truly respects you and who is trying to control you. Eliminate the latter when the right time comes, and start thinking about how you’re going to replace those you eliminate.” She stands and taps my nose. “Now go. Show them what you’re made of.”
A warmth grows through my bloodstream. What would I do without Krin’s pep-talks? I smile and stand with her. I wish she could stay by my side forever. I wish she would at least stay in the mansion so she could be close by.
“Are you…are you going to continue living with Thomas?” I ask. “I mean, if neither of your boys are there, why go back? I thought you didn’t get along?”
She shrugs on a light jacket. “The only reason Thomas and I are together is because of politics. I never liked the jackal. I didn’t appreciate the way he treated our sons, and I didn’t much like the way he treated—and continues to treat—me.”
“So why not leave him? You’re always telling me not to take crap from men, so why do you do it?”
She sighs and turns to face me. “I’m staying with him, because right now, he’s your biggest asset in becoming leader. He’s one of the most respected men in Congress, and if he turns against me, then you’re going to be forced to pick sides. And if you pick my side, and Congress is on his side, and the Patricians respect Congress and know nothing about me…”
Of course. Everything is about politics. All of it. Every. Decision. Welcome to my new life. I’m beginning to wonder if it’ll offer less freedom than being locked in a room.
“I wish you could come with me to the meeting today.” I look at her. “You are a politician. You should be able to participate.”
“This is a meeting for Congress members only.” She reaches out and pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. The gentle gesture sets my heart at ease. She offers a half-smile. “You’ll be fine. This is your time to shine, Aurora. You’ve been preparing for this day for years, and now it’s here. Remember to act wisely. Try to appease the people of importance, at least until you get things under control. These are the people the Patricians trust, and so trusting them will work to your benefit. But while you’re trying to appease them, stay strong. When they start making you feel small, tell yourself that you are fearless. You are invincible.”
I stare into her gray eyes and repeat words she raised me to believe.
I am fearless. I am invincible.
So why do I feel like a tower on the verge of collapsing?
A knock sounds at the door.
“Your escort,” Krin says.
I walk to the door where Mcallister is waiting. He wears a black suit, but has a gun stuffed in his belt. I asked him to be my escort because he’s the only Defender brain-clear enough to kill Titus should Titus refuse to hand the power over to me. And if the Resurgence decides to turn on me, I somehow feel like Mcallister will be a voice of reason.
Maybe.
He bows at the waist. “Here to escort you to your Transition of Power Ceremony, Chief.”
I spare one more glance at Krin. She nods supportively, and I step out of the room.
He holds his arm out for me, but I wave it away. I never liked the way men expected women to hang off their arms. Mcallister seems mildly relieved as we walk down the hall. My two female bodyguards follow close behind, stiff, armed, and ready to defend. I only wish they would do so on their own accord and not by manipulation.
“Have you heard from the Resurgence?” I ask Mcallister.
He stiffens slightly, but keeps walking, always able to cover up his discomfort. He had Titus fooled for three years.
“I haven’t heard back. As long as I refuse to assassinate you, they won’t try contacting me.”
I’m surprised by his blunt honesty. “They still think I’m working with Titus?”
“They’re just not sure.” He looks down at me, his eyes black coals burning with secrets that seem to weigh him down. “But Rain is the only one on this side of the river the Resurgence would be willing to talk to.”
Rain. Of course. Because he’s the only one who would assassinate me in a heartbeat. He’s the only one from the Resurgence on this side of the river who has been imprisoned because he refuses to comply. Guilt closes its icy fingers around my throat.
“If I allow Rain to contact the Resurgence, I doubt he’ll report back to me,” I say.
“No doubt about that.” Mcallister huffs out a short laugh and shoves his hands into his pockets.
“So what do you suggest I do?”
Mcallister licks his lips. “Distribute the antitoxin as soon as possible. The sooner you prove that you care about your people, the sooner the Resurgence and the Indy Tribe will be willing to step in and help.”
“Of course,” I say. “One step at a time, though, Mcallister. You help me get Titus into the council room in a way that makes him look like he wants to be there. That’s our current focus. Once I’m leader, I’ll arrange a tour around the country, where we will set up stations in each county to inject the antitoxin. And I’ll even lead the tour myself to make sure things run smoothly.” I look at him. “I want this country’s freedom as much as you do.”
“That’s music to my ears, Aurora.”
Walker is waiting by the door that leads to Titus's room. The room that used to be mine. I don’t even want to set foot in it. Honestly? I don’t even want to face Titus right now. Just being this close to my past—the place that haunts my nightmares—makes me sick to my stomach, and I turn away, look at Mcallister. His brows furrow, and an emotion I can’t read flickers in his eyes.
“Why don’t you go ahead to the
council room and wait for us there,” he says in sudden understanding. “Walker and I can handle Titus.”
I’m not so sure. “If he gets just one Defender on his side, he could kill you both.”
“We’re both armed,” Walker says. “And we’ll blindfold him until we’re just outside the conference room doors.” He grins. “We can handle it.”
I nod. “I’ll see you over there.”
I step out of the chief’s mansion with my Defenders. The sun is shining today. Its warmth spills across face, my arms, everywhere, and I close my eyes, soak it in. A slight breeze tickles my nose, and I inhale the sweet scent of honeysuckle. And it’s this ability to step outside whenever I want that keeps me from wanting to let Titus resume his place as chief. It’s this simple freedom that makes me want to distribute the antitoxin as soon as possible, so the rest of my people can experience it with me.
The council room on the third floor of the capitol building is full when I arrive. Every politician has showed up for Titus’s big announcement. They’re all here, expecting a meeting led by my brother. None of them know what, exactly, happened last week in the ashen city. They know Titus chased the Resurgence across the river, and that Forest died in the process. They know Rain happened to be working for the Resurgence. Word spread that Titus was severely injured and bound to his bed, and that I was subbing in for him. But none of these devoted politicians could possibly know what’s about to hit them.
My hands curl into fists by my side, slick from my nerves. I take a deep breath to calm myself.
I am fearless. I am invincible.
Repeating that mantra in my head, I release my breath and step through the doors.
CHAPTER FOUR
AURORA
I take my place at the right hand of where Titus is going to sit. The politicians acknowledge my presence, but hardly offer a hello, a salute, or anything that shows their respect for me. Titus’s seat remains empty, waiting for him to take it. Walker talked to Titus about how this is going to go down. Titus will comply, because if he doesn’t, he will be shot in the head immediately by Mcallister himself.
white dawn (Black Tiger Series Book 3) Page 2