I look at him through my tears. As though reading my mind, he gives a brief shake of his head. Krin always taught me to be calculated in my thoughts, not irrational. I inhale through my nose and clear my mind, think about the reasons Rain has managed to stay alive this long.
Rain is our biggest asset to the Resurgence. The Resurgence is our biggest asset to the Indy Tribe. The Indy Tribe is our only hope to getting this country back on its feet. I hate to admit it, but I desperately need Rain alive, and I need him on my side. I look back at him, then nod at the Defenders.
“Release him.”
Rain’s face transforms to that of shock, before he quickly covers it with a smirk and begins heading toward the door.
“Defenders,” I snap, gesturing toward the two nearest the door. “Follow him to the lobby, and don’t let him leave from there.”
Rain groans as two Defenders take their places by his side.
“You’re a blasted traitor, Mcallister,” Rain shouts. “A brainless Defender. And when this country goes to hell because of her, I’m blaming you.” He storms out of the office, two Defenders at his heels.
Mcallister stares at the floor, then turns to look at me. The raging fire has left his eyes.
“You okay?” he asks. He seems to forget his anger, and I think I see a hint of concern, but I’m not sure because I’m pretty sure he hates me as much as Rain does. Maybe not as much, but close.
I blink and look away before I actually believe he cares for me. “Yeah.”
He pulls a kerchief out of his back pocket, steps toward me, and presses it against my neck. Now my breathing escalates, and it has nothing to do with what just happened with Rain. It has everything to do with the fact that Mcallister is standing here. Close. I can smell the heady scent of his soap. He smells clean and fresh. He pulls the kerchief away, studies my neck while I study the infinite depths of his dark, dark eyes.
“It’s just a scratch,” he says in a husky voice. His eyes shift to mine, and now I’m not breathing at all. But he is. His breathing quickens while he openly studies me, and his eyes slowly travel down my face, settling on my mouth. And I feel a pull, a stirring deep in my stomach that I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. But then he blinks and turns away.
“I knew he was up to something,” he says. “I followed you guys right up here, and good thing. He didn’t wait long to attack, did he?”
“Why would he do that? I mean, I know why he wants me dead, but why would he make his killing me so obvious? Everyone would have known it was him who killed me when he would be the only one walking out of this building.”
Mcallister’s Adam’s apple bobs in a hard swallow. “He’s still grieving, Aurora. He’s going through the stages and sees no point to his life without Ember in it. He most likely doesn’t care if he dies, but wants to avenge Ember before he does.”
“Great. So I’m taking a suicidal psychopath with me on this trip.”
He steps back, his eyes wide with caution. “You’re not seriously still considering taking him with you?”
I bite my lip and look at my hands. “I desperately need him to see that I’m on his side. I need the people who love him to think that he’s on my side. I also need to keep an eye on him. If he somehow escapes, he could get the whole Resurgence on his side to kill me. I need to be able to watch him…and know the minute he runs off.”
“If you lock him up here, under the surveillance of my Defenders, he won’t stand a chance to run off. And maybe I can talk some sense into him while you’re gone.”
“I already told the whole city he’s coming with me, Mcallister. So what would it look like if he stays behind—locked up? It certainly wouldn’t look like he’s supporting me. Besides,” I shrug. “To be honest, I don’t really trust him in your hands.”
“Is that right?” He steps back, narrowing his eyes in disbelief. “Because I just saved you against him.”
“I know. I trust you to be on my side. I know you’re trying to give me a chance to prove myself. I do trust you, James. But I don’t trust him. He’s your best friend. What if he says something that completely changes your mind?”
He looks past me, his jaw clenching and unclenching. “I guess you don’t want me to come along for that same reason, then?”
“I need you here, Mcallister. I need someone trustworthy to keep the Defenders and Patricians under control.”
He nods and looks down. “Rain’s going to try to kill you again.” His eyes find mine. “As a friend, Aurora, I’m telling you now that taking him with you is a terrible idea.”
The way he says my first name makes me almost think he actually cares for me.
“Rain is the only one the Indy Tribe and Resurgence trust right now, right? I need him to see for himself that he can trust me. And what better way can I do that than to walk into the tiger’s mouth?”
He releases a hollow laugh and shakes his head. “Fine. Do what you have to. But let me warn you: Rain is an excellent strategist. When he wants something done, it’s done. He has your future planned out, and I don’t think it’s going to be pretty.”
That’s comforting. “Thanks, Mcallister. But I think I can handle myself.”
His gaze flits to my neck and he lifts his brows. “Whatever you say, Chief.” Signaling his Defenders, he walks out of the room.
I take a moment to recollect myself. Settle my nerves from Rain’s attack. I’m not stupid. I know he’ll try to kill me again, if he doesn’t run off first. And I have to be ready next time. I have to watch my back. When he tries again, I’ll make him wish he was already dead.
I am fearless. I am invincible. And I will not let Rain intimidate me.
When I arrive to the lobby, Rain is by the wall, two Defenders by his side and an electroband wrapped around his wrist. I nod at the Defenders.
“Release him.”
One of the Defenders takes his electroband off. I jerk my chin at Rain, who’s staring at me, slack-jawed.
“Remember this, Rain, when all this blows over and it’s time for you to tell me where Gideon is. I’m keeping up my end of the deal—no Defenders keeping you hostage. You’re free. Now, come along. We have a country to rescue and not much time.”
I turn around and head out of the building, toward the jeep that will take us on the worst road trip ever with the best intentions in mind.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
RAIN
Little vixen, trying to earn my trust. Silly girl. Does she not realize that I know Titus's act? That I watched Titus while he tricked Ember over and over, making her think they were best buds before threatening to kill her and her family? Aurora is only giving me the perfect opportunity to kill her, this time without James’s interference. James. Whatever came over him will hopefully be gone by the time we return. By the time I return. Alone.
Because before this trip is over, Aurora will be dead.
I jerk open the jeep door, settling in the back seat while Aurora says her goodbyes to Walker, Mcallister, and Krin. Finally, she takes her place in the passenger seat, while a brainless Defender takes the driver’s seat. If I lay one finger on her, he will kill me in a heartbeat, no doubt. Three buses are pulled up behind us, all loaded with the antitoxins and medical personnel to help distribute them. If only Levi would get his shoddy behind down here, he could distribute the antitoxin as a gas and this whole process could take a day instead of weeks. But Walker is convinced we should do it the right way, the way we know would work, since the gas hasn’t exactly been tested.
“Rain,” Aurora says from the front seat.
“Yes?”
“I want to start this road trip on the right foot.”
“I think we’re past that point.”
“So, I’m going to give the antitoxin to our driver. That way you know he’ll be doing this by choice and not force.”
She pulls out a syringe, pokes the needle into a glass vile and pulls the clear liquid out, then she disp
oses of the vial, tells the Defender to hold still, and pokes the needle into his arm.
Then we wait a good minute.
“Defender Chale?” Aurora says, looking at the driver. “You have been brainwashed since you took up your career.” He blinks and looks at her, a look of pure confusion on his face. I can’t believe I’m witnessing this. “You’re brain has been conditioned to obey any command given by a—by a Patrician. But I just gave you an antitoxin that frees your brain from compulsion. From now on, your decisions are your own.”
He blinks. Looks at his hands. Lost. Confused. Possibly on the verge of complete breakdown. Wow. I completely underestimated Aurora’s stupidity.
“Aurora, step out of the vehicle with me for a moment.” I jerk open my door, get out, and slam it shut before she can refuse. She steps out reluctantly, closing the door behind her. Then crosses her arms, looking at me expectantly, Patrician brow raised.
“Seriously?” I murmur. “You’re telling your driver this life-changing news just before commanding him to take us on a road trip? Didn’t you think about how he’s going to process this information? Did you even consider his feelings? He’s been brainwashed his entire life. And you’re expecting him to just carry on his duties like usual?”
She blinks.
“What are you going to do if he refuses? Behead him? Send him to the Rebels Circle? Holy Crawford, Aurora. How stupid are you?”
“He won’t refuse.”
“Oh, please don’t tell me you believe that.”
She shrugs. “He won’t. And if he does, I’ll send him home to recuperate and find a backup. But watch. Learn. I think I might know your people more than you do, Mr. Turner.”
I roll my eyes. Jerk the door open. Try to smother the intense pity I feel for our driver.
Defender Chale doesn’t look at either of us. He just stares blankly ahead. And we wait. Aurora appearing concerned, the good little actress she is. Me, I’m just waiting for him to snap or, I don’t know, pull his gun out and kill both of us. It’s not out of the question. The man’s life has been wasted, and not by his own choice. None of his decisions were his own. After a few long minutes, I bury my face in my hands, try to ease my oncoming migraine.
“So,” Chale finally says. He looks at Aurora. “I don’t understand.”
“Your life has been your own, Chale. You’re still you. You still have relationships and memories and a personality. But when Patricians or the chief have given you orders, it’s like for that moment your mind would go blank and you’d do whatever you were told, no questions asked. Your willingness to obey orders overrode your morals and even your sense of pain.” She swallows, clears her throat. “Many Defenders have given their lives for the sake of these orders. Many have killed loved ones with no knowledge of doing so.”
A simultaneously disgusted and humiliated expression crosses his features. He looks at his hands, as though wondering how many people he’s killed without knowing it.
“But we’re going to change all that,” Aurora continues. He looks at her, eyes wide. “We’re going on a trip around the country right now to distribute the antitoxin to everyone in Ky. Everyone who was brainwashed and compelled will now have a clear mind. But we need you to drive us. If you want to go home and recuperate, I understand. If you need a few days, or even weeks, to comprehend what’s happening, I get it.”
He drags his hand down the length of his face and looks around like he’s seeing the world for the first time.
“My brain,” he says, “feels like it’s expanding and working in ways it’s never worked before. I feel—I feel like I’ve been on autopilot and I’m just now waking up.” He barks out a laugh. “It’s amazing.” He stares at her. “I want to go. I want to be a part of setting the rest of the country free.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
AURORA
A baby’s cry wakes me. I’m lying in my old bed in my old room. A newborn lies next to me, arms flailing, looking for the life-giving breast. I pull him close and nurse him. His crying ceases, and I whisper promises into his little ear while pulling the blanket closer around his neck. It’s always just a little too cold in this room. How many nights have I woken up, wishing for a companion to chase away the nightmares? How many hours have I spent lying awake, alone, terrified of the shadows dancing on my walls?
“I’m here,” I whisper. “I’ll always be here. I’ll never let you leave my side.” My eyes burn. “This room isn’t much. But we’re together.” A tear slips. “At least we have each other.”
Sleepy eyes. Small nose. Perfect ears. Itty bitty fingers curling around mine. I don’t think I’ll ever let him go.
I never knew a child could bring so much joy. Before Gideon, my life was meaningless. Maybe Titus was right all along. Maybe this is my purpose in life: to raise the next chief. And I wonder how I ever survived before Gideon. I wonder how such a small innocent child could change my entire outlook on life.
Because I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
I didn’t used to want to have kids. After Mother abandoned us, and while Father abused us, I didn’t want to bring my children to this world of disappointment and uncertainty. Even if Titus let me go, it was never an option in my head to have a baby.
But now I can’t imagine life without one. I can’t imagine living in a world where I have nowhere to pour my love. I hold Gideon close, and I decide that no matter what happens, I will always protect him. I will always be here for him. I will never let anyone hurt him.
I would absolutely, without hesitation, give my life for this child.
* * *
“So, are you just going to sleep all day?”
A musical voice interrupts me from my slumber. My eyes fly open, and I look at the empty space beside me, the place where Gideon slept in my dreams, and the crack in my heart splits open.
“C’mon, vixen,” Rain says as he exits the room. “We’re distributing the first round today.”
Chale and Rain are standing at the entrance to the hotel when I arrive. I wonder what sort of lies Rain told his new Defender friend about me, but if Chale believes them, he hides it pretty well. He straightens when he sees me, and salutes.
“Stand easy,” I say, and he relaxes just a little.
“I was afraid you’d never wake up,” Rain says as we cross the street toward the courthouse. “I wouldn't be surprised if you slept all day if I hadn't woken you myself.”
“It’s still early, Mr. Turner.”
“Mr. Turner, hm? I try to assassinate you, and you still address me with a respect. I like that.”
“You tried to assassinate her?” Chale asks, his eyes widening.
“I tried and I’ll try again.”
He can tell Defender Chale that now, because Chale isn’t programmed to kill him. But on my order I could have it done. One word from me, and Chale would have to kill Rain, or die for disobeying. Instead, I seal my lips closed.
Still, Defender Chale steps between me and Rain. “As long as I’m around, you’ll not touch her.”
Rain rolls his eyes and continues walking. “And here I thought you liked your brain-freedom. Apparently you just enjoy brainlessly following orders. Should have given you antitoxin to someone who would actually appreciate it.”
“She’s the one who rescued me. She’s saving the rest of Ky. What’s your problem, Mr. Turner?”
I guess Rain hasn’t talked smack about me. Yet.
“She’s distributing the antitoxin because I demanded it,” Rain says. “And the only reason she agreed is because I have—” He stops short and looks at me. “I have information she needs.”
Chale looks at me. “Is that true?”
I release a sigh, guilt easing into me. “I was going to distribute the antitoxin. I just wanted to get everything in Frankfort in order first.” I look away, realizing how selfish I am. “But Rain is right. This has to happen now, before any more days are wasted for the Proletariats.”
Our first stop is Trimble County, and we’ll work our way around the country from there. We decided to begin with the county farthest from us and work our way back home. We got here late last night, and now the medical personnel and Defenders are setting up the stations, while citizens who were instructed to show line up at the entrance to the courthouse.
In broad daylight, the sight of the rest of Ky takes my breath away. This is my first real-life glimpse of Ky. On my way to the caverns, I was blindfolded, and on the way home, I was too wrapped up in what had just happened with Ember and Forest and taking down Titus that I didn’t really take time to watch the scenery.
But now I get it.
Now I get Ember’s sorrow and Rain’s rage and the Resurgence’s reasoning for wanting to fix Ky. Because Ky, my beloved city that is also a country, hardly looks any better than the ghost town that is Louisville.
Brick crumbles from the sides of the buildings. The windows that aren’t shattered have cracked windowpanes. The streets are narrow and filled with the acrid stench of raw sewage, because there are no public restrooms. Smog settles over the city, so pungent it fills my lungs and turns the sky a dusky gray. I can’t tell if the sun is shining. If it is, its light is dulled by the smog.
When I was locked in my room, I wish I’d spent more time watching the city outside of Frankfort. Titus allowed me access to every corner of the country through my surveillance cameras, but because the Proletariats were brainless and worked all day, I often stayed focused on Frankfort. Frankfort is where the drama was. Frankfort is where the secrets were being told, and since I acted as Titus’s spy, it was necessary for me to pick up on things.
But now I realize my focus was misplaced. I should have focused on life outside the cupola. The people, like the buildings, are run down, blending together like the smog that hovers above this city. Their clothes are threadbare—rags—hanging off skin and bones. When I look into their eyes, there’s nothing there. It’s like their souls had been stripped from them when they were compelled to work, and they have no passions or desires of their own.
white dawn (Black Tiger Series Book 3) Page 16