“I thought I was tough. Now I’m not so sure.”
“Ease up on yourself. You just had a big trauma.” His fingers traced over her hip. “Damn it. There’s a bruise here. Got any more?” With a gentleness that threatened to drive her mad, he looked for more injuries. “You’ve got one on your shoulder, too. There will probably be more that’ll show up.”
“It’s nothing. I’ve had worse.”
“I thought you said your husband didn’t beat you.”
“He didn’t. I meant…” Was she ready to tell him about the tsunami when he hadn’t told her everything about himself? “God, I don’t know where to start.”
“At the beginning?”
“I was in Phuket, in Thailand on December 26, 2004.”
He frowned, and she saw the confusion in his eyes before it cleared a moment later. “Jesus. The tsunami.”
“Yeah.”
His gaze darkened. “Oh God.”
“Yeah,” she said again, swallowing hard. “After my husband killed himself I took a lot of vacations. Well, a few anyway. I guess you could say I was trying to assert my independence, showing the world and myself I could do things on my own. And I hadn’t traveled anywhere without my husband. I decided the ultimate act of independence was to go to a foreign country over a holiday. I was in Thailand two days before the Tsunami hit.” He stayed silent and watchful, so she continued. “My hotel was about a hundred yards from the beach. It was a four story structure. Not luxury by any means, but nice enough. I had a room on the second floor. I spent most of my time touring the area, and there was this market area nearby. That morning I got up early, put on a bathing suit and I was sitting on a chaise near the pool. I was deep into this book when I heard people shouting. I looked up and…” Her throat went tight and felt raw. She swallowed around it and forced a breath into her lungs. “The water was rolling, white at the top. It kept getting higher. It was rushing back in after pulling way out. If I’d been paying attention I would have seen that the water had pulled out. I knew what that meant…that a tsunami was coming. But there were trees in the way, and…”
He brushed a finger over her chin, his eyes filled with the stark realization of what she was saying. He understood, and for a moment comfort propped her up and made her go on.
“Anyway,” she said, “I was frozen solid for a second, unable to believe what the hell I was seeing. Then I broke free of my shock and started screaming at the people around me to run. I ran for the hotel, but the damn wave was so fast. I barely made it inside the hotel, and I rushed for the stairs. I heard people screaming and screaming but I didn’t look back. There was no time. I reached the second floor and kept going. I didn’t stop until I reached the top floor and there was a door open to the roof A few people had already rushed there ahead of me.”
She stopped as a tear fell on her cheek. He brushed the tear away.
“Oh, Cassie.” His voice was soft, his eyes stark with understanding. “How many were up there with you?”
“About thirty.” She settled into a slower explanation. “The water washed through the first floor. After that was over, we waited to make sure a second wave wasn’t coming in. It did and it was worse. It reached the second floor. Just under it.” Words felt stuck in her throat, but she forced them out. “After we figured it was safe we went out. The whole time I was wandering around I felt like the ocean was watching me. Like it was ready to come back in and swallow me any time.” She drew in another deep breath. “There were so many injured. So many dead. Many of the people I’d already met on my two days there were gone. I never saw them again. That night I stayed in my room without electricity and only the minimal bottled water and food I had. I was exhausted. Every time I went to sleep I dreamed about the wave. Only in the dream I couldn’t get away. This disaster…”
She buried her face in his chest, and he wrapped her in his arms, his caresses tender as he whispered, “It’s not the same. It’s not the same. You’re safe. Nothing is going to happen to you.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t know.”
“I will say it.” His voice was rough, but tender. “You’re amazing, Cassie. Fucking amazing in so many ways I can’t even describe it. Brave and strong.”
His reassurance and promise that all would be okay sank into her soul and held steady. She would believe him, if only for an hour or a day. Silence wrapped them, and she placed her hand over his heart. The steady beat reassured her and gave a sense of stability.
“That’s why you don’t swim, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I avoid it. One of these days I’m going to get back into a pool. For a while I was afraid of the dark. I’d wake up and imagine the water was coming but I couldn’t see it. Had to sleep with a light on.”
He caressed her hair and back. “God, what you went through.”
“I don’t feel sorry for myself, Griff. That’s not why I’m telling you this.”
“Of course not. But I’m glad you’re telling me.”
They went quiet again.
“How long did you stay in Thailand?” he finally asked.
“It was a few days before I could get transport to the airport and a ticket out. Weeks before I could get the nightmare out of my head. I went to a therapist again…the same one that saw me after my husband’s death. I refused to take any pills to mask what happened to me.”
“Good for you. I sense there’s a lot more story in there.”
She made a laugh, a brittle, fake laugh. “There is. A lot of what I saw and did before I even left Thailand. I get tired just thinking about it.”
“Maybe someday you’ll tell me the rest.”
She thought about that and a warmth spread through her. “Someday? After this is all over we’ll go our separate ways.”
His eyes chilled, as if she’d flipped a switch inside him. “We’re taking everything one day at a time, Cassie.”
“Of course.”
He looked toward the window. “I’ll bet your parents were freaked.”
“Oh, yeah. They mothered me until I had to tell them to chill out.”
“Of course they did. They love you.”
She pushed herself off his chest and lay down next to him. “Enough about my dangerous life. Let’s talk about something else.”
“All right. I’ve got good news.”
Good news would be wonderful. “Oh?”
“I should have told you this before we came up here and told Penny.”
She tweaked one of his nipples playfully. “Get on with it or I’ll have to torture you.”
“When I went into the sheriff’s office I got the word that the cops had been into the county, gotten radios to work, etc. They have information now they couldn’t get before when the electricity first went out. The entire grid didn’t go down. Just as we thought, some of the grids were shut off ahead of time. After the EMP they waited long enough to make sure it was over. When they powered things up it took a few hours.”
Happiness burst open inside her, and she laughed softly. “Oh, my God! That’s wonderful.”
She leaned in to kiss her, and before she could pull away he’d rolled her over and wedged himself between her thighs. He started a thorough exploration of her nipples. He licked and tweaked, pinching them gently between his thumb and forefinger. She gasped. “Wait. Tell me more.”
“Not much more to tell.” He palmed her hip, then wedged his fingers between her legs to trace her softness.
Heat grew inside her like a tornado, and as he found her clit and brushed over it, she thought she’d come unglued. After her last orgasm, she didn’t think she had the strength to come again. Maybe she was wrong. With slow and methodical caresses, he teased her aroused folds. He sank one finger deep and held there. She squeezed around it, wanting to ride it to completion.
“A lot of stuff did get messed up by the EMP, but it wasn’t as bad as the experts thought.” He kissed her neck, each little touch self-assured and maddening. “It’s going to take weeks to m
ake everything right. But most of the transformers are all right.” He took her nipple between his lips and sucked strongly. “The follow-on effect is going to cause problems for a while. But we weren’t knocked back to the Middle Ages as we thought we might be.”
“That’s wonderful.” She moaned. “God, Griff. That feels so good.”
“This?” He curled his tongue around one nipple as he trapped the other breast in his palm. “Hmmm. Or this?” The hum against her flesh vibrated and caused a riot of sensation to tingle and heat between her thighs.
She squirmed in his hold, elated by the good news and the lovemaking. He kissed her, his tongue plunging deep. With one sweet, deep plunge his cock slipped inside her wetness. She moved against him, needing him to move, to banish the renewed ache that built rapidly in her core. He moved immediately, each smooth and steady stroke causing lightning swift pleasure to build moment by moment. As she fell into the rhythm, her blood sang, her flesh heated. His cock caressed her with stroke after stroke until she thought she couldn’t stand it anymore. Each touch, each kiss added fuel to her fire. His thrusts became harder and faster. Ecstasy slammed her a second later, vibrating through every inch of her. Griff held on until he brought her to another climax before plunging inside and breaking apart in orgasm. They lay in bed, panting and drowsy.
“We still have a lot to do,” she said after a long pause. “Even if this isn’t the end of the world.”
“Yep.”
His clipped answer silenced her for a short while.
“I’m sorry.” He rolled toward Cassie and bracketed her between his side and his other arm.
“For what?”
“Sometimes I forget civilians aren’t used to unrest and violence. The average man or woman on the street isn’t used to uncertainty like dealing with those assholes.”
Good humor erased some of her doubt. “They seemed to like you well enough after you lied and told them you were a Nazi survivalist.”
His gaze darkened, and he moved away, leaving the bed long enough to redress. He sat on the couch and stuffed his feet in his boots. His change of mood worried her.
She sat up and watched him. “What’s wrong, Griff?”
“What isn’t?”
“There was a riot at the sheriff’s department?”
“Yeah. A small one of six people. Less like a riot and more like the idiots that bothered you today.”
“Why did they riot?”
“Same reason people always riot. Dissatisfaction. Fear. Frustration.”
She left the bed and went for her own boots. The mood had severed when she’d mentioned the survivalist angle.
“It’s all so ridiculous.” She vented her own frustration. She explained Penny’s silly behavior before Jacky and Peterson arrived. “I guess people are so afraid they’ll use the blame game to make themselves feel better.”
Griff finished lacing his shoes and leaned back on the couch. “We just have sex to burn off our frustration.”
Was that what it was? She didn’t know. “Maybe we should suggest a huge orgy. You think that would fix everything?”
He laughed, and she loved seeing his lopsided, sexy grin.
“That might do it.” He leaned forward and leaned his forearms on his thighs. “Sex solves a lot of things. But not everything.” He sobered. “Are you all right?”
“Of course. Those peckerheads didn’t to pack me off to their bumfuck camp where I would have spent my life making them sandwiches.”
He snorted a laugh, but then sobered just as quickly. “This isn’t funny, Cassie. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to prevent what did happen to you.”
“You couldn’t have known.” Another possibility occurred to her. “Do you feel responsible for other people all the time, Griff?”
He grunted. “Hell no. Just people who can’t protect themselves. I guess it’s always been in my blood. A need to protect.”
“Why do I have a feeling that’s gotten you into trouble on occasion?”
His gaze flicked to hers and held, then he glanced away. “Good guess.”
A narcissistic thing jolted through her. If he always wanted to assist those in need, maybe what he felt for her didn’t amount to more than altruism. The thought deflated her. Maybe she should keep a part of herself apart and cool. If she hooked into with him too much, too closely, her possibilities for being hurt multiplied tenfold.
“Why don’t you stay here and rest,” he said as he stood.
“No.” She left the bed and stood as well. “I need things to do.”
He stared at her for a long moment as if he didn’t know what to think of what she’d said. “Okay. We have plenty to do. Let’s get to it. We need to make sure those wankers that tried to hurt you can’t get into this resort.”
A fresh dagger of fear sliced a new place inside her. “You think they’ll try?”
“They might.” He sighed. “They just might.”
* * *
That evening Cassie sat in her room and stewed in her thoughts. Her mind jumped from thought to thought. Resting didn’t feel like an option she could accomplish. The world had come apart at the seams over the last day. Hell, a lot had happened on and the day was unlikely to end on a high note. They’d turned the hotel into something of a fortress, and it had taken all day to make it secure. Penny had agreed to all the security measures. Reluctantly Cassie had agreed to having Griff stay in her room.
The bathroom door opened, and Griff exited wearing only gray sweat bottoms. “All yours.” His voice had turned huskier than normal.
“Thanks.” She stood and gathered her makeup kit with her facial cleaner and moisturizer. She grabbed her red checked flannel pajamas.
As she went into the bathroom and closed the door, she made a vow right then that the only reason she’d wear makeup from now on was for the sunscreen. Who knew when or if she’d buy makeup again. She smiled at herself in the mirror, oddly freed by the idea. Hell, if makeup wouldn’t be made anymore, all women would have to stop wearing the stuff. Authenticity would become the name of the game. Why not start now?
After cleaning up and changing into flannel pajamas, she drew in a deep breath and left the bathroom. She expected him to be asleep already, but instead he peeked out between the drapes. His broad, muscular back impressed her.
He turned around, and she asked, “See anything interesting?”
“Streets look quiet. That’s a very good thing. Maybe a few people are realizing it won’t do them a damn bit of good to freak out.”
His gaze danced over her pajamas. “Looks warm and cozy.”
She smiled. “Flannel is my number one nightwear in a Colorado fall or winter.”
“Maybe I should start wearing flannel.”
She snorted a laugh. “I have a hard time picturing that.” Her mouth ran away with her, and she continued. “You seem in your element now that everything has gone to hell.”
His eyes narrowed. “No, I’m not. I’m just as out of my element as you are. I’ve never been in this situation before.”
“Caught in a hotel room with a strange, flannel-wearing woman?”
He stalked toward her, and the room felt too small. Vulnerable, perhaps. He stopped close to her, his gaze burning into her.
When one tear escaped, she caught it and wiped it away with her hand. She closed her eyes, as if doing so would banish the reality staring her in the face.
His touch landed on her hair, soft and gentle. “Damn it, Cassie. Don’t cry.”
Anger lit her from within, and she opened her eyes and glared into his contrite face. “Don’t tell me not to cry.” She heaved a sigh. “What is it with men hating tears? Besides, I almost never cry.”
He drew her closer, cupping her face between both of his big hands. “You’re a strong woman, and you’ve endured a lot in your life. But I can keep you safe.”
His reassurance echoed inside her. Part of her wanted to believe what he said so much, the other didn’t know how she could. “You’v
e never been in this world before, Griff. You can’t protect me from it.”
Something fierce and hot entered his eyes. His voice lowered, husky and soft. “I’ll die trying.”
“Why? You barely know me. I could walk out that door tomorrow and you’d be free of me.”
He made an exasperated noise and released her only long enough to clasp her shoulders. “God, that douche bag ex-husband made you think you’re not worth saving.”
His statement smacked her in the gut. He’d cut to the quick and figured out in short order the crux of the matter. “Yes. Yes, he did. But I’m over that. I’ve worked ten long years to be over that.”
“Are you? You can’t be if it’s come up now. People’s weaknesses always show up in times of stress and crisis. It’s only their strengths that can overcome them.”
Damn him, he was right. She hated that. She didn’t want to admit she had any weaknesses. Not after working her ass off to become the independent woman she was today. To discover she hadn’t leapt over that last hurdle hurt like a mother.
Not thinking, she placed her hands on his chest. Hot, hard male flexed under her touch, and his breath sucked inward on the smallest hitch of sound.
“Okay.” She kept her hands in place, loving the masculinity under her fingers. His chest was sprinkled with dark hair, and she liked that way too much, too. “What’s your weakness?”
His eyes smoldered with intention, and she knew she played with fire. “You’re my weakness right this minute.”
Her heartbeat quickened, her breath shortening as he drew closer. “How can that be?”
“I like being with you, talking with you…” Once more his hands plunged into her hair, and he tilted her chin up. “Touching you.”
She felt certain he’d kiss her, but then something dawned in his eyes. A realization, and the heat she’d seen there started to cool.
“But we shouldn’t be,” he said. “We can’t be.”
A brand new anger arose inside her, and she decided there and then she didn’t have the patience or the stamina to play this game. She wouldn’t do a dance and pine for him. She wouldn’t ask him to hold her and tell her everything would be all right, even if it wouldn’t. She refused to pretend. No matter what he said, they had a potent fire between them. At the end of the world, even if only for tonight, she wanted to know what it would feel like to be with him.
Holding Out For A Hero: SEALs, Soldiers, Spies, Cops, FBI Agents and Rangers Page 132