“Sure, but it has to be his decision.”
“Then it wouldn’t be cool if I told him you wanted to talk to him?”
Bree smirked, thinking this kid was gonna break too many hearts when he realized how irresistible he was. “No, that wouldn’t be cool.” She stood, removing the apron she’d borrowed from Rennie. “But I could use a breath of fresh air. If Kevin wants to talk to me, he can find me in the backyard.”
Danny grinned. “Got it.”
Chapter Sixteen
Kevin stood at the back door for the longest time, just watching Bree. Her back was facing him, her head tipped up to watch the bird’s flit around the feeder perched a few feet away. He could see her profile and her awed expression when she spotted a rare Texas Painted Bunting. It reminded him of her look of disbelief the first time he told her he loved her and wanted to spend his life with her. Two decades and a multitude of poor judgement calls made him realize his biggest mistake had been not following through with his promise to marry her years ago.
She turned slightly as though she felt his eyes on her before turning her attention back to the feeder without saying a word.
Walking slowly toward her, he sat down on the bench beside her, watching the birds as she had. Signs of the animal life she appreciated so much were abundant: gray squirrels weaving twigs near the ravine that bordered the property, chipmunks burrowing in logs. Looking for a place to call home. It reminded Kevin that he’d been doing the same thing for too long, looking for a place to call home without realizing he could only feel truly at home with the woman at his side.
“Danny told me you were out here,” Kevin said finally, when the silence stretched on long enough to make him question what she was thinking and feeling. “He said you two talked.”
“We did.” Her eyes followed the actions of the scurrying critters rather than meeting his. “He’s a great kid, Kevin. You should be very proud of him.”
“I am.”
He ran his hands down the front of the tailored dress pants he’d worn to Mass that morning. He still wore his suit, though he’d removed the tie in the car after the services. Burning a hole in his pocket was the gift he’d intended to give, only if she seemed receptive. He had no right to pressure her after the rift he’d caused between them.
“Things are going well with Danny then?” Bree asked, adjusting the scarf around her neck.
“Yeah, we’re going to therapy together. That’s helped a lot.”
“Good, I’m glad.” She stole a quick glance at him before she said, “I hope I’m not over-stepping, but he told me he’d like to live with you instead of his mother. How do you feel about that?”
Kevin grinned. “Are you kidding? If one positive thing has come of this mess, it would have to be that my son and I are getting closer. I want him with me.”
“You don’t think Trena will object?”
“No, I don’t.” Kevin didn’t want to make any disparaging remarks about his ex-wife, but he knew she wouldn’t put up a fight if Danny asked to stay with him instead of her. “She’s moving on with the next phase of her life. It seems that’s demanding all of her time and attention right now.”
“Hmmm.”
“I had a chat with Lyle too,” Kevin said, trying to gauge her reaction to the mention of her estranged husband. “He’s not what I expected.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t expect him to be a decent guy.”
Bree sighed. “I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t. I wouldn’t want him to be a part of our daughter’s life if I thought he was a determent to her.” She rested her hands on either side of the bench, brushing his thigh with her fingers. “He’s made mistakes, a lot of them, but how can I expect forgiveness if I’m not willing to grant it?”
“Good point.” He only hoped her generous spirit included him.
“He wants to move closer so he can see Ainsley more.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I wasn’t sure at first,” she admitted. “But I’m beginning to think it’s a good idea. It’s important for kids to know that both of their parents love them. The fact that Lyle would make that sacrifice, uproot his entire life to be closer to her, sends Ainsley the message that her daddy loves her and would do anything for her.”
“Are you sure he isn’t moving here to be closer to you?”
“He knows how I feel. I can’t go back. It’s time to move forward.”
Kevin fell silent, afraid to ask whether she was trying to send him a message about their future. When he couldn’t stand the uncertainty any longer, he said, “I’m sorry about the way we left things.”
She nudged his shoulder with hers as her lips twitched. “Come on, that was probably one of the most civilized break-ups in history.”
“Is that what it was?” he asked, finding the courage to take her hand. “A break up…? Or maybe it was just a break, to figure things out?”
“And did you?” she asked, calmly. “Figure things out?”
“Yes.”
“Do tell.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think,” he said, dragging the pad of his thumb up and down the inside of her wrist. “I’ve even had a few private sessions with Danny’s therapist. It’s helped me to put some things in perspective, helped me to understand why I haven’t been the husband and father I wanted to be.”
“Things rarely work out as we thought they would, Kev. We all have regrets.”
He knew she was trying to let him off the hook for being human, but he’d learned the only way to prevent future mistakes was to acknowledge fault and accept blame. “I should never have married Trena in the first place. We weren’t compatible.”
“So why did you?”
“I was lonely.” He slipped his free hand around her, warming her as she laid her head on his shoulder and sighed softly. “But it went beyond that. It was this bone-deep sorrow that nothing and no one could help ease. I missed you.” He closed his eyes, thinking he should have told her this years ago. He should have gone after her when she left, instead of resigning himself to the misery. “I wanted to be happy again and I thought maybe getting married and having a family would help me forget.”
“I thought so too,” she said. “But marrying the wrong person doesn’t improve the situation. It only makes it worse.”
“You’re right.” He tipped her chin with his finger, coaxing her to look at him. “We’re supposed to be so smart—how come it took us so long to figure this stuff out?”
Her mouth tipped up in a crooked smile. “We’re stubborn and I guess we have too much pride for our own good.”
Kevin knew that was true. It was his pride that had kept him from calling her every night for the past several weeks while he was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, missing her.
Kissing her softly, he inched back on the bench, extracting a carefully wrapped box from his pocket. “I bought this last week,” he said, holding the box in both hands. “I’d intended to pass by your house after dinner tonight to give it to you.” He’d thought long and hard about what he could give her that would help her understand the power she had over him.
“You shouldn’t have,” she said, drawing her hand back. “I didn’t get you anything. When I didn’t hear from you—”
“Sssh,” he said, wrapping her hands around the gift. “Please don’t say anything until you open it.”
She unwrapped it slowly, carefully peeling back the gold foil paper before sliding the black satin ribbon off. Gasping when she saw the platinum encased diamond pendant, she looked up at him. “This is—”
“Symbolic,” he finished for her. “The heart is in two pieces. You broke my heart, I broke yours.” He lifted it out of the box, holding it between his thumbs and forefingers. “But you can piece it back together again. See,” he said, demonstrating, “It snaps in place, so it’s in one piece again.”
“It’s lovely,” she whispered.
“I know it won’t b
e that easy for us to piece our broken hearts back together again, Bree. Too much has happened, but here’s the thing…” He could feel a tightening in his chest as he tried to anticipate her response. “Without you in my life, my heart is going to remain broken.”
She took the necklace from him, unfastening and refastening the sparkly pieces. “Together it’s whole.”
“Kind of like us.” He grazed her cheek with his lips before whispering in her ear, “I only feel complete, my heart only feels whole when I’m with you.”
She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. “I feel the same way.”
“Does that mean you’ll forgive me?” He clasped her hands in his, the pendant safely encased between them, before bringing her hands to his lips. “Please? Say you’ll forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said, her eyes linking with his. “You did what you had to do just like I had did what I felt I had to do. Were we both wrong? Perhaps, but that doesn’t matter now. The only things that matters is we’re here together.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” He felt the relief wash over him as she touched her forehead against his before leaning in for a kiss. “Danny wants to keep living in that house for now. It’s his home. He feels safe there.”
“Of course he does.” She smiled. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that too. When the time comes, and it may not be for a long while, it doesn’t matter where we live as long as we’re together as a family.”
“A family.” He grinned. “I like the sound of that.”
“Before we do anything, we have to spend time together, the four of us, getting to know each other better, learning to love and hate each other.” She laughed when he frowned. “Come on, you know that’s part of being a family. There are going to be days when our kids are going to hate each other, just like real siblings, and that’s okay, so long as they learn to love each other too.”
“How long do you see this whole process taking?”
“As long as it takes,” she said, shrugging. “Six months, a year, maybe more. Does it really matter? We’ve waited over twenty years to be together, what’s another year or two, right?”
Logically, he knew she was right, but he couldn’t wait to start their lives together. “Fine, I’ll try to be patient, but I can’t make any promises.” He pulled her to her feet, kissing her thoroughly before finally letting her go.
“Will you put this on for me?” she asked, holding up the necklace.
He took it as she turned her back to him, lifting her long hair so he could fasten the clasp. Leaning over her shoulder, he watched her fasten the two pieces together. “I’m thinking we should have that soldered together so we can never break each other’s hearts again. What do you say?”
“Babe,” she said, turning into him as she grabbed the lapels of his blazer. “Hurting each other is a part of loving each other. It’s gonna happen whether we mean to or not. We’ll fight, we’ll cry, we may even threaten to walk away, but I know we never will.”
He smiled. “How do you know that?”
“Because we’ve both made that mistake before and we’re too smart to go there again.” They kissed again before she said, “There’s an amazing Christmas dinner waiting for us inside. You ready?”
“Am I ready?” He hauled her back against his chest, his arms encircling her waist. “Sweetheart, it feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this.”
About the Author
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Other Books by Cheryl Douglas
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Fast Break (Texas Titans Holiday) Page 17