by Lena Nicole
I want to keep going and yell at her some more. It actually feels good to let out all this pent up frustration. I’ve been holding in all of my anger and it’s coming out of me in a rush. Unfortunately for Brooklyn, she’s getting the brunt of it. But, by judging the look on her face, my words are having no effect on her.
Jeremy places a hand on my shoulder to calm me down before I get myself in trouble. He throws down a couple bills on the bar, grabs my arm and urges me to follow him out the door. I hear him tell Brooklyn thanks for calling him to pick me up. I should apologize to her, but she kind of asked for it by sticking her nose where it didn’t belong. Maybe she’ll think twice before she starts dishing out unsolicited advice to people.
“Let’s get you home so you can sleep this off,” is the last thing I remember Jeremy saying before I pass out in the back of his car.
I’M MEETING MORGAN today to do a little shopping. I wake up before my alarm goes off at seven fifteen. This is not a good way to start my day, especially since it’s my day off. As much as I willed my body to go back to sleep it wasn’t having it. I take advantage of the extra time I have and go for a run down the beach. The beach is extra quiet this morning. I’m sure everyone is still sleeping in. I push myself a little harder today. I can feel the coolness of the white sand hit the back of my legs as I continued to run. I run about halfway down the beach and turn to make my way back. That’s when I see a pair of light blue eyes heading my way. It doesn’t take me long to notice that it’s Colin. He has on a pair of sweats with the hood pulled up over his head. Even in his sweats, you can still see his well sculpted body underneath. I notice the headphone cords coming down his stomach and I know he is listening to music. He is so caught up in whatever he is listening to that he is about to run right past me. I reach my arm out and startle him.
“Hey.” I give him a little wave in case his music is too loud and he can’t hear me. My stomach is winding up in a small knot and I try my hardest to smile, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. My mind keeps replaying the last time I saw him and how he overheard me questioning his drinking. At this point, I’m not sure how he’s going to react to me.
Colin pulls the hood off his head and takes out one of the ear buds. His face is devoid of any emotion when he says, “Hey, Addison.”
I notice him shifting his weight as I talk to him. “How have you been? I’ve been trying to keep in touch with you but it seems you have been really busy lately. Everything okay at work?”
He takes no time to answer and starts to jog in place to keep his heart rate going. “Yeah, everything is great, work has me busy.”
I feel like he is being short with me. “So do you always run on the beach this early?”
He bites the inside of his cheek while looking down at his shoes like he’s not sure how to answer my simple question. “Actually, we used to run in the evenings when I got off work. I thought you still ran during the evenings, so I started running during the morning.” At that last part he finally looks up at me and shrugs.
He says it so nonchalantly it hurts me a little bit. I know I don’t remember him but I’m trying to do my best to be his friend. Clearly he’s been trying to avoid me lately. I decide I’m not going to tie up anymore of his time and hope he comes around.
“Okay, well I better head back. I’m meeting Morgan for lunch and some shopping.”
“Okay, well have fun.” And just like that he dismisses me again. I don’t want to end things sour, so I call out to him.
“Colin?” he turns to look at me, “If you’re free at all and have time for lunch or dinner, give me a call.”
He nods his head “Will do.” He puts the ear bud back in his ear, throws his hoodie back up over his head, and continues his run.
I make my way back to my house to get ready to go meet Morgan. As I walk in through the back glass sliding door, I hear my phone ringing. I walk over to the kitchen where it is charging and see Pierce’s name flash across the screen. I have been so busy with work and Pierce has been busy trying to work on the New York expansion from Florida. We have texted a lot since the kiss from two nights ago, but have yet to talk on the phone. A big smile immediately appears on my face as I answer.
“Hey, Pierce,” I can’t hide the excitement in my voice while saying hello. I get a little giddy when I can hear the same excitement in his.
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good, just finished a run on the beach.”
“Hot and sweaty, I like it.” We both laugh.
“Well I don’t know about hot, but I definitely have the sweaty part down. So what’s up?” I ask.
“You can be dressed in a trash bag and you would still look sexy,” he says in a low, raspy tone. I bite my lower lip as a huge smile stretches across my face at his compliment. “I wanted to ask you out on a proper date. We both have been so busy with work and I didn’t want to ask in a text message.”
“I would like that a lot.” I try to maintain an even voice to keep from giving away my excitement.
“Are you off this weekend?”
“Yup.”
“Okay, I will pick you up at noon then.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Enjoy the rest of your day.”
I hear the click on the end of the phone. I allow myself a minute to think about how a few words from Pierce can make my body tingle, and that leads to my mind dreaming of his sexy body. I have to get my mind out of the gutter and get ready to meet Morgan. I throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with some flats. I head to my car and drive over to Morgan’s. I am sending her a text letting her know I am out front when I hear a male voice speak.
“Hey, Addison.” I look up to see Jeremy standing next to my car. I remember Colby and Morgan mentioning they lived in the same building. I give Jeremy a smile.
“Hey Jeremy. How are you? ” He flashes me an award winning smile which I’m sure drives the ladies nuts.
“I’m great. What brings you by?”
“Oh, I’m picking up Morgan. We’re going to grab lunch and go shopping.”
“Oh, have fun then.”
I know Jeremy is Colin’s best friend, but from what I understand we were pretty close too. I go against my better judgment and ask him about my run in with Colin this morning. It’s been bugging me how he acted when he saw me.
“Jeremy, I know I may be over stepping, but how is Colin doing?” I see the brief hesitation in his face when I ask, so I continue, “I ran into him this morning and he was kind of dismissive towards me. I thought we were going to try and be friends and we were doing so well, and then after my birthday, I don’t know. I just feel like he’s avoiding me.”
I feel horrible putting Jeremy in the middle of this, but who better to ask than him?
“Addison look, if this was anyone else I wouldn’t get involved. But I love you like a sister. Colin is hurting. You have to give him time. He went from being engaged to you to having to be your friend. It’s a huge adjustment on both your ends. He’s doing the best he can.”
“I understand.” I look down at my hands to focus on something else. I look back up at Jeremy, and as soon as he is about to speak again Morgan comes out. “Understand what?” Morgan asks.
Jeremy gets a smirk on his face and turns his attention to Morgan, “I asked her to find you a new handy man while you’re out shopping. As of today, I am no longer your bitch.”
“Whatever, Jeremy.” Morgan rolls her eyes at him and then looks at me, “you ready to go?”
Laughing I say, “Well, hello to you too.” I turn to Jeremy, “Thanks again, Jeremy. I’ll see you around.”
It takes us no time to get to the mall. We grab a quick bite at the food court so we have more time to shop. We go from store to store and end up leaving with something from each one. While we are in the dressing room trying on dresses, I thought it would be a good time to bring up Pierce.
“I have a date on Friday.” I say to Morgan who is trying on a dress in the room n
ext to me.
“Oh, yeah? Where is Colin taking you?”
I pull the dress over my head and study it in the mirror. “Actually, it’s not with Colin. It’s with Pierce.” Suddenly, the door to my dressing room whips open, hitting the adjacent wall, and Morgan enters. She sits down in the chair, crosses her arms and legs and arches a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me.
“Start talking.”
“Jeez, Morgan, it’s a good thing I had this dress on. Did you ever think to knock?”
“Let’s see, my friend is telling me she has a date with one of the hottest guys I have seen and you think knocking is my first priority? You must have hit your head a little harder than I thought in that accident.”
Realizing Morgan has a point, I continue. “Well, you know how I met Pierce, and at first it was just a nice escape from all my problems. I could hang out with him and forget about everything else. We started hanging out more and somehow I let my feelings for him develop beyond a friendship. I didn’t want to act on it because I wasn’t sure if it was one-sided. But that was obviously cleared up the other night.”
Morgan tilts her head to the side, “And how exactly was that cleared up may I ask?” I glance at the mirror to confirm that my face is in fact turning a nice shade of pink at her suggestive tone. She bolts out of her chair and says, “Oh my god, you slept with him!”
I shush Morgan and step closer to her so no one can hear our conversation. “I did not sleep with him!” I say in a loud whisper. “God, Morgan can you be any louder? We went to his mom’s house to have dinner and I overheard a conversation between her and Pierce.”
I tell Morgan about the dinner at Pierce’s house and how much I enjoyed watching him interact with his family. That leads me into telling her how I was eavesdropping on their conversation and heard everything Pierce said to his mother. I even confess that I got caught red handed by Lexi which Morgan laughed at. I finish by recapping the kiss and how it happened. Morgan takes a minute to settle in before she speaks.
“I have to say, I didn’t think you had it in you. I like this new Addison that’s starting to branch out”
I look at Morgan confused. “What do you mean?”
“The pre-accident Addison would have never gotten on that stage and sung karaoke. And the old Addison definitely wouldn’t have pushed Pierce to kiss her. You’re coming out of your shell a little and I like it.”
“I would hardly say that. I’m just feeling something for the first time since the accident. And it wasn’t something I was expected to feel, ya know? I definitely wasn’t looking for it. It felt natural and right, and a part of me feels guilty about it because of Colin, and the other part, well…”
Morgan holds up her hand. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me about it. You’re not doing anything wrong. You broke it off with Colin and told him you wanted to be friends. Will he be a little heartbroken? Sure, but he already is. You can’t leave your heart stuck in the past when it’s trying to move on. I do, however, feel like if you are going to pursue whatever you have going on with Pierce you have to be honest with Colin. You have to tell him your feelings for Pierce have changed. It’s not right to lead him on and give him false hope. Take it from the girl who has dated nothing but losers and guys who only led me on. It sucks.”
I pull Morgan into a hug. “Thank you, Morgan. Not just for listening, but for not judging me.”
Morgan waves her hands in the air. “Hey, who am I to judge? I can’t even stop being a bitch long enough to keep a guy around. One worth keeping anyway.”
Morgan has always guarded her heart. She has had it rough with men in the past. I think that’s why she quit modeling. She just got tired of being used for her looks. Out of everyone, I am the only one who knows she used to model. She wanted someone who saw how smart she was and wanted to commit to her, not her looks.
“Speaking of guys worth keeping… Have you met anyone lately?” I ask hoping to get the dirt on her love life. Morgan gets a little smile on her face. I stop her in her tracks and corner her. “You are so busted!” I say, poking her in the chest with my index finger.
Morgan laughs, “What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me! Start talking, who is he?” Now I’m the one crossing my arms waiting for an explanation.
“I’m not saying any names, but he is amazing. He is sexy and has a great personality and is a good guy.”
“So what’s the problem?”
Morgan huffs, “I’m pretty sure he hates me.”
Morgan can be a huge bitch when she wants to. Anyone who is close to her and knows her past knows it is a defense mechanism. I feel bad for Morgan when I see the sad look on her face. She must really have it bad for this guy.
“Well, maybe you just need to tone it down a little with the attitude and he will come around and see the kind heart that I know is in you.”
She gives me a sad smile. “Maybe. Enough about this. We need to get you a sexy dress for your date.”
IT’S ALMOST 5:00 on Thursday, and my coworkers and I are going to my favorite place for happy hour: Docs. Brian, another attorney at the law firm, pokes his head full of fire engine red hair in my door. “Hey, you ready to get out of here?” Brian is pretty low on the totem pole at this office like me, but he still has a little more seniority than I do. I think he told me he’s been here for about eight months, compared to my three.
His walks his short, stalky frame into my office, looking at me expectantly because I still haven’t answered him. I clear my throat, “Oh, yeah, just let me shut down my computer real quick and I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”
On the drive over to the bar, I keep reflecting back on my run in with Addison on the beach. I’ve been trying to run more lately as a way to curb my drinking and direct my anxiety into something more productive. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t kind of avoiding her. Things had definitely shifted between us since her birthday party, and not for the better. I could feel the gap separating us growing by the minute. When I saw her I was immediately taken back by her gorgeousness, as always. I tried to keep my head down and pretend that I didn’t see her, but then she waved and I had no other choice but to talk to her.
She started making small talk and I was going to try to start a conversation until I looked down and noticed that damn butterfly ring on her finger. The one Pierce got her for her birthday. He told her it was meant to symbolize new beginnings or some bullshit like that. I wanted to choke the fucker out. New beginnings? She didn’t need a new start, she needed to remember how great we had it and everything would be good again. Her wearing it was a dagger straight through my heart. It was like she agreed that she needed to start fresh, to leave the past behind. Maybe this was meant to be a subtle way to get me to back off, to tell me she wanted to start fresh with someone else. That thought had bile rising up in my throat.
I suffered through a tedious conversation with her and tried to keep my answers short and sweet to keep from giving anything away. I think she was getting the hint that I wasn’t feeling it today and finally said she’d just catch me later. I started to run again but my feet suddenly felt like they were filled with lead. I’m not sure how much more I can take. I can’t bear to think of her not in my life, but at the same time this is literally killing me.
I snap out of my daydreaming as we pull up to Docs with a couple other guys, two are paralegals and the other one is an attorney as well. I walk in and the familiar scent that is strictly Docs’, with its musky wood and hoppy beer smell, hits me. It almost brings a smile to my face. It sort of feels like home.
How sad is that?
Since it’s still pretty early, we are all able to grab stools at the bar. Brian is sitting to my right and I have a wall to my left. We’re all chatting it up and having a good time when I see Brooklyn out of the corner of my eye. Guilt immediately consumes me. I was pretty wasted the last time I saw her, but I still remember the verbal lashing I gave her. I need to apologize.
“Hey Brooklyn, how’s
it going?” I give her a tight smile as if to call a truce. I’m not sure it’s working since she has an icy glare on her face. Finally, she shrugs her shoulders and says, “Eh, it’s going.”
“Can I talk to you real quick?” She thinks it over for a second before nodding and pointing over to the break room.
When I get back there, the first thing I notice is what she’s wearing. She has on the tightest pair of black leather pants I have ever seen that ride almost indecently low on her hips. They leave nothing to the imagination and I can clearly see every curve of her body. They look as if they were painted on her. She has a skinny, black belt with silver studs wrapped low around her hips. With it is a dark purple shirt that fits really loose and hangs over one shoulder exposing one black bra strap. The hem is cut up and hits her above the belly button. To add to the whole sex-on-legs look, she’s got on a killer pair of black, leather boots that come up to her calves. I have to remind myself to breathe and think about dead kittens to keep myself from getting an instant boner. She is smoking hot tonight. Too bad it’s Brooklyn and I know all about her sexcapades.
Plus, and more importantly, I’m still waiting for Addison.
She clears her throat and now I’m embarrassed because she clearly caught me ogling her. I shake my head and go right into my apology.