by Alexa Riley
Well, maybe not exactly kissed, but sweet lord, when that man’s lips touched my skin I thought my body was going to combust right in the middle of the cafeteria. It was a simple touch, but it felt like more. It felt like something was shifting between us and I didn’t know how to handle that.
“God, I’m such an idiot.” I set my forehead down on the desk, and I want to crawl into a hole and disappear. I acted like a freaking spaz. He’ll probably never ask me to lunch again, thinking I’m a nut like everyone else around here.
Could I have been any more dramatic in the way I ran out of there? The first time a man’s ever touched me and I run like a group of angry villagers are chasing me.
“If you’re going to nap on company time, you should do it in the spare office. That couch is super comfy.”
I pop up and straighten in my chair to see Skyler standing there, eating an apple with her hip against my desk. She’s dressed in a white top with electric-blue trousers and pink heels. Mallory’s partner on Osbourne’s charity work is always dressed to wow.
“I’m not napping. I’m just dying of embarrassment,” I say as I straighten papers that are already perfectly in line, like everything else on my desk.
“Let me guess. Your work bestie finally made his move?” She takes a bite of her apple and wiggles her eyebrows.
Skyler and I aren’t close, but she’s perceptive. We exchange friendly chat at work, and I’ve seen her having lunch downstairs. Apparently, she’s seen me having lunch, too.
Jordan is the only one around here who talks to me about things other than work for the most part. Most seem to run when they see me coming, knowing I probably want something. Now I think I’ve lost my only friend here.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pull up a document on my computer and begin typing nonsense so she thinks I’m busy.
“It’s none of my business, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” She shrugs and pushes off my desk, straightening up. “All I know is that Paige likes him, and she doesn’t like anyone. He must be good people.”
She walks away but leaves her words behind. They sit heavy on me, and I wonder if I’ve been reading things wrong this whole time. I know Jordan is a good guy. He’s the best guy I’ve ever met, but that doesn’t mean he wants me. He’s always just been friendly with me. Sweet, even. If someone asked me who my best friend is, I’d say him.
The kiss on my hand today put me in a tailspin, and I don’t like it. I’m direct, and I like to take control. Having that taken away from me is something I’m not used to, and I want it back. I’m not the kind of woman to shy away from confrontation, and I don’t want to start now.
I can tackle this situation head-on and see what happens. Maybe he’s into me and maybe he’s not. But I don’t want to sit around all day hating myself for acting like a lunatic at lunch. Giving myself a pep talk, I pull up my email and type with purpose.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Tonight
I want to go to this wine and paint thing after work, but I don’t want to go alone. Are you free?
I wait for what feels like hours but is possibly only seconds.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Tonight
Only if I can bring beer...and you promise not to laugh at my stick figures.
I feel myself smile for the first time since lunch, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Everything is okay.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Tonight
Yes, it’s BYOB! And I promise.
Unless it’s really terrible. Then I can’t be held responsible.
Meet you downstairs after work. It’s just a couple of blocks away.
PS Sorry I got weird at lunch.
I sit back and bite the edge of my thumb as I wait to see what he says back. I don’t know why I’m panicking. I have a million things to do, yet this is keeping all of my attention. I just want us to be on the same page, but I have no clue what that is anymore.
When my email pings, I nearly jump out of my seat.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Tonight
I’ll walk if you can keep up. Your short legs slow us down.
You weren’t weird. You were beautiful. Just like every time I see you.
We’ll talk more after work. You’ve got a meeting.
J
Just as I read the words in his email, a group of men and women come in, following Miles, and head for the boardroom. I stand up and greet them, offering coffee and drinks without missing a beat. Then I grab my notebook and follow them to take notes.
If any of them noticed that my face turned tomato red, no one said a word. And though I took eleven pages of notes, I couldn’t tell you one damn thing they talked about in that meeting.
He called me beautiful.
Chapter Five
Jordan
“You know now you’re just being dramatic,” Jay says and lets out a little huff.
I laugh at her and nudge her with my elbow as I walk at a snail’s pace for her to keep up. Her short legs are working overtime to keep up with my long strides, so I make a conscious effort to go as slow as I can.
“I can’t help it if you’ve got mini legs,” I tease.
She stomps as she walks, and huffs once more. It would be intimidating if it wasn’t so damn cute. Everything she does is cute.
“You’re about three seconds away from being uninvited to this,” she growls, but her words carry no venom. She likes my teasing.
“But I already bought your wine.” I hold up the brown bag along with my beer. “It would be a shame for this to go to waste.”
She eyes the bag and then sticks her nose in the air as she continues to walk in silence.
“The Slim Jims alone are worth it. Aren’t they?”
We stopped at the corner shop on the way to the art place, and I grabbed some of the jerky when I was checking out. I saw the way she looked at them, and no way was I passing up the chance to give her something I knew she wanted.
As we walk, I reach out and slip her hand into mine, and for a second she’s startled, but then she tightens her hand around mine.
“Just want to make sure you don’t try to run from me.”
She looks down at our hands and then away just as quickly, but doesn’t try to let go.
“Or maybe just so I can keep you from falling behind.”
She gives me a glare, but again she doesn’t try to take her hand away. I see her mouth pull at the edges as she fights a smile, so I take it as a good sign.
I was so thankful she emailed me this afternoon. I wasn’t sure what to say to her, and I had composed and trashed about seventy-two emails before she finally gave me the opening I was desperate for. I had checked her schedule and then the cameras, so I knew we didn’t have much time to talk. But I was happy that I was able to subtly let her know I was still very much interested in her.
“This is it,” she says as we arrive at a small art studio.
We walk inside, and I look around to see rows of tables with canvases already in place. Jay walks over and talks to the lady at the desk, confirming that there are two of us here.
“Great. Looks like you two got the last spots.” She looks me up and down and smiles brightly. “Oh, you’re in for a treat. It’s ladies’ night.”
It’s then I realize the room is full of women, and all of them are looking our way.
Leaning down to Jay, I mumble out of the side of my mouth, “Ladies’ night? Are you kidding me?”
She shrugs like she didn’t know either.
Suddenly the stereo comes on, and Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It” rocks through the speakers. I hold in a groan as Jay laughs and pulls my hand to the front of the room.
We sit down, and I c
an feel people watching us as we settle down and pull out our drinks. Jay grabs one of the jerky sticks and leans back in her seat as the instructor begins.
As she talks about the process, I look around at our supplies and open a beer. I’m half listening when I hear the room erupt into catcalls worthy of a construction yard.
Looking up, I see a nearly naked male model walk across the room and take a seat at the stool directly in front of us. He’s wearing a loose wrap around his waist, and when he spreads his legs, I hear the crowd whistle appreciatively.
“Jay?” I say, trying to avoid the direct view of another man’s dick.
When she doesn’t answer, I look over to see her snap the jerky stick in her mouth. Her cheeks are red and her eyes are wide. She stills, not even chewing the bite she just took.
Oh fuck no. There is no way I’m spending an hour with Jay looking at another man’s junk. If she wants to draw a naked man I’ll take her back to my house, give her all the art supplies she needs and she can draw me for fucking hours.
“Ma’am,” I say, calling to the instructor.
She comes over, brightly bouncing on her feet and looking as helpful as an elf in Santa’s workshop. “Yes, what can I help you with?” She can help me with my woman not looking at another man’s junk.
I drop some bills on the table and stand up, grabbing Jay’s hand. “Sorry, but the only cock either of us is looking at tonight is mine.” I hear a few women give another catcall at my words. I grit my teeth a little more. Only Jay will ever be looking at my cock and I don’t like the idea of them even thinking about my cock.
I hear a squeak of surprise from Jay as I pull her from the table and out of the building as the music and women behind us get louder.
When I’ve dragged her almost an entire block, she finally pulls on my hand to slow down. I know I’m moving too fast but I want her away from that other man as fast as possible.
“I’m um...um,” she stammers, and I can see that her face is a bright shade of red. “I didn’t know that was happening.”
Suddenly she bursts into a fit of giggles, and I can’t help but join her, some of my jealousy melting away. Not all of it but some. It’s hard for me. I’ve wanted her from the moment I saw her and I don’t like the idea of any man having her attention.
“Did you just take me to a strip club?” I ask as I pull her over to a bench near the park and we sit down close together, needing to be right next to her.
“I’ve never been to one. How am I supposed to know?” Her cheeks pinken even more and her sweet innocence is intoxicating. I want to lean over and feel the warmth of her blush with my lips.
“Me either,” I admit and shrug.
“I thought all guys did that,” she says, nudging me with her shoulder. It’s playful and soft but somehow intimate but she looks over at me through her eyelashes and I can see the same spark of jealousy flash in her eyes. Clearly the idea of me seeing a woman naked is something she doesn’t like. This gives me more hope that this friend zone is fast dissolving.
“Guess I missed that memo. I’m a perfect gentleman. I’d never take someone to a strip show on the first date. But you, you’ve got some balls, Rose,” I tease, trying to making it more light.
“God, this would only happen to me.” She shakes her head. “And I didn’t say this was a date.” I can see the shyness on her face from her words, and that’s not a familiar look on her.
“You’re right.” I reach out and brush a strand of hair from her cheek. The need to touch her too strong to stop myself. “That was me. And I’d like a do-over.”
She licks her lips, and I see how soft they are. I ache to take her in my arms and kiss her so completely that the only thought she ever has is of me.
“Another paint night?” Her voice is low, and there’s more than just that question in it.
“A real date. Let me treat you like a lady.” I bring her hand to my lips, but before I make contact, I look into her eyes. “No running this time.”
I don’t look away from her as I press my lips to her hand and then place it on my chest right over my heart, showing her this is happening. This isn’t a friend thing. It’s real. I’m going to make her mine. Well, make her know she’s mine. To me she’s been mine from the first time I saw her.
“Say yes,” I tell her. Looking into her eyes.
“Yes.” I feel tension leave my body at her one simple word, feeling closer to what I know my future is going to be. Her. I’m trying to be patient. To not push her too fast but it’s hard. I don’t want to scare my little bird with how much I feel for her. Cause if it was up to me I’d take her home with me and that’s where she’d stay. Waking up every morning next to me.
We sit quietly for a long time as evening turns to night, and then I know it’s time to take her home, but I don’t want to. This is the first time she’s shown me we can have more than friendship. I want to stay here all night, just sitting with her. Enjoying the moment for as long as I can because I know it’s going to be hard to leave her at her door.
“I’ll make sure you get home safe,” I say, still holding her hand and hailing down a cab.
I open the door for her and slide in after her. The drive isn’t too long, but she’s walked far enough in her heels today, and I know her feet probably ache. I would love to offer her a foot rub, but not tonight. I think I’ve pushed enough for one day. I don’t want to scare her off. Making her feel safe is more important than any need I have. Everything I do is for her. Her needs will always come before mine.
In the darkness of the cab, she leans over to me as we pull up outside her door. Her hand goes back to my chest, and I can feel her breath against my lips.
There’s heat between us, a passion that’s growing. It started as a small spark as friends, but the wind has changed, and there is a deep ember burning. I don’t want to smother it too soon. When I finally take her, there will be no stopping it. I fear my control will snap and that’s not something I want to push on her. I want her to want me as much as I want her but I’m not sure that will ever be possible. I don’t think my need has a limit or bounds.
“Jordan?”
Her tone holds so many questions, and I understand each one.
“You’re not the kind of woman that gets one night. You’re worth a lifetime.”
Her mouth opens a little at my words, and I lean down, brushing the softest kiss across her lips. It’s not even close to what I desire, but it’s enough for now. I lick my lips, wanting as much of a taste of her as I can get. Hoping it will be enough to get me through the night when I lie in bed alone thinking about her.
“Tomorrow,” I whisper and place my forehead against hers. “Now get out of the cab before I change my mind.” My voice is gruff and deeper than normal. I can hear my own need and have a touch of pain of having to let her go.
She smiles against my cheek as she places a soft kiss on the scar there.
As I watch her walk to her door and close it safely behind her, I touch the spot where her lips landed. She’s the first person I’ve ever let close enough to do that. And she’ll be the last.
Chapter Six
Jay
I turn from side to side, looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t normally spend a lot of time on picking out clothes for work. I go with comfortable and professional. But today my eyes keep going to a pair of heels I bought on a whim last year. I’ve never worn them before. They’ve been in my closet from the moment I brought them home. They were an impulse buy one day when I was walking by a store. I saw them in the window and fell in love, even though they were way too tall for me.
They would be nice for my date tonight, though. Maybe I could try to be a little sexier. I wanted him to kiss me so bad last night. It was all I thought about after I got home and lay in bed. Could I even count what we did in the cab as a kiss? It was so soft and fast that I didn
’t have time to register what was happening. I run my fingers along my own lips, remembering how I kissed him on the cheek. It was bold and unlike me, but God I’d wanted my lips on him again.
I pick up the shoes and set them on the bed. They’re a bold red, and I don’t even know what to wear with them. I dig through my closet and stop when I see a black halter dress I wore to a party for work a few months back. I could pair it with a blazer, and tonight, when I get off work, I can just take the blazer off to look more date-night-ready.
After putting on light makeup, I brush my hair out and pin a glossy section to the side before sliding my glasses on. I grab my bag and phone and head for the door. I see the error of my ways before I even make it to the end of my street. My shoes are already pinching my feet, and I can feel blisters forming. I have a feeling I’m also walking a little funny and making myself look awkward—not exactly what I was trying to go for today.
I hail a cab and wonder if maybe I should just go back and get different shoes, but they look so pretty. Sexy, even. I’ve never thought of myself as sexy before. When I get to my office building, I stop in the lobby when I see Mark, one of the security guards, staring at me with a smile pulling at his lips. I walk over to him and return the smile. Mark keeps an eye out for people I’m waiting to talk to. He lets me know when he sees them so I can cut them off and get what I need.
“You’re all dolled up today,” he says, and I smile at his compliment. He’s never given me one before.
I eye him for a second before leaning in. “Do you think it’s sexy?” I look down at my outfit, wanting a male’s option. I want Jordan to like it. I want him to think I’m sexy. Not just cute. But desirable.
“Don’t answer that question,” I hear a deep voice growl from behind me, making me jump. I teeter in my heels, thrown off balance, and start to fall, but strong arms wrap around me in a tight hold. I look up at Jordan, who has me pressed to his body, keeping me from falling right on my face. He looks a little mad. His lips turned down in a frown.