They left together, Nicolae boisterous, Elone proving her thespian inclinations once more and joining with his gleeful cries, but as she turned in the doorway to briefly glance at me her tear-filled eyes told a different story.
As the door closed behind them I said quietly, “You will never be in the way, Elone. Neither of you will ever be in the way.”
48.
Nicolae’s laughter proved infectious and very soon the sombre mood of the house had been replaced by a more cheerful atmosphere. But after a few hours we had exhausted our entertainments and longed to be outside.
Though we kept the curtains closed as Henryk had asked we could not help but note the sun was beaming down on a pleasant autumn day, the clouds all but banished from the sky, and we longed to play beneath it. I fended Nicolae’s demands to go into the street as best I could. Inevitably, boredom was quick to manifest itself, and I suggested we play at tidying the house, a proposition well-received by the children.
In fact Henryk exhibited a most respectable domesticity, but it could hardly cause harm to unleash Nicolae and Elone with a besom and feather duster, and would at least keep them occupied until our host returned.
In this I was to prove well judged, for the activity engaged the young ones for much of the afternoon and I too joined in, relishing mundane domestic chores I would once studiously have avoided.
It was whilst engaged in one such task, polishing an oak cabinet that had known finer days, that I made my discovery.
Quite by accident I knocked a sheaf of papers onto the floor, scattering them across the boards such that it was necessary to pick them up one by one. Of course I had no intent or interest in perusing them, and merely undertook to put them back as I had found them.
Thus scanning the sheets for some indication of order I became aware I was holding Henryk’s delivery schedules. If my capacity to read Polish was even less developed than my verbal skills, still I quickly realised this was a list of Nazi labour camps, not just in Poland but across Europe, some of which were marked with Henryk’s name.
From somewhere deep in my mind came the thought that the camp Mama had been sent to might be listed here. While I could not remember its name I knew Mama had told me, once, the day before our departure from Medgidia. I had taken no notice at the time, for it meant nothing to me then. But now... My first, hurried scans of the lists of names produced no result and I tried again more slowly, sounding out each name in the hope of recognition.
The list seemed endless and as I read them out the sheer scale of the Nazi operations began to sink in, for it covered countries from Poland to Austria and included even Germany itself. Treblinka; Gross-Rosen; Sobibor; Belzec; Dachau; Pirszkow; Bergen Belsen; Mauthause; Buchenwald; Majdanek; Chelmno and on and on.
These names meant nothing to me, however, and I was beginning to lose hope when suddenly it was there in front of me. Suddenly, unquestioningly, this one name stood out from the others and I knew this was the camp Mama had been bound for. If my heart leapt at this realization, how much more my pulse raced when I realised Henryk was a designated driver for this route!
I rushed out of the room yelling to Elone and Nicolae, determined they should share my discovery, but halted myself as I reached the door, remembering that, even if Mama was there, in all likelihood Chaim and Golda had perished on the train. I could not raise Elone’s hopes.
“What is it Anca? What is it?” Elone and Nicolae came racing to attend my excited tones.
“It is nothing, children. I am sorry. I thought I had found something of interest, but I was mistaken. Go back to your play.”
“We are not playing, Anca,” Nicolae said indignantly. “We are working hard! Do you think Henryk will be pleased when he gets back? When he sees how hard we have worked?”
I smiled reassuringly. “I am sure he will, little one.”
Elone eyed me with suspicion, clearly not taken in by my change of tone, but she kept her thoughts to herself. Not for the first time I found myself wondering just how deep ran this child’s understanding.
49.
By when Henryk arrived home I could hardly contain my excitement, but in deference to Elone I kept quiet about my discovery and made polite conversation.
Nicolae and Elone proudly showed Henryk their work and he beamed broadly as he examined the fruits of their labour, adding kind words. Of course I could not expect, nor did I want, the children to be rewarded for their endeavours, but was delighted nonetheless when Henryk slipped his hand into his pockets and flipped a coin to each child as a token of his appreciation. He turned to me but I put up a restraining hand, assuring him his kindness in receiving us was reward enough.
I helped him prepare tea, advising we would not want too much, for I had no wish to deplete his larder further, and we settled to a light collation, over which he questioned the three of us about life in Romania, patient with Nicolae’s poor Polish; admiring Elone’s competence; studiously avoiding the subject of family.
After our meal Henryk wound the gramophone and Elone and Nicolae danced, after a fashion, to Hungarian waltzes while Henryk and I partook of hot tea from the samovar. A gramophone was a luxury I had only dreamt of in Medgidia and Nicolae, who had never seen such a thing before, was fascinated by this box that emitted music, delighting in winding it up after each play.
Both children became excited and loud, but my move to hush them prompted a restraining hand from Henryk. I realised his aim was to fatigue the children that they would soon be asleep, the better for us to talk of more serious matters and so I encouraged the children to dance even more energetically, until at last, as darkness drew in, they retired from the floor exhausted and my proposal of bed was eagerly received.
Within the hour both the little ones were fast asleep and, this time first ensuring Elone was indeed slumbering, I crept back to join Henryk once more. He turned the music low, poured another glass of steaming tea each and we settled down to our concerns.
I could hardly contain my excitement and began with a confession to clear my conscience and bring matters immediately to a head.
“Henryk, there is something I must tell you. Please do not think I was deliberately prying, but I happened upon your schedule of deliveries this day and looked through them.”
He dismissed my admission with a wave of his hand. “They are of no consequence. Just my work schedules. They are in no way private or personal, Anca. There is no need for concern.”
I felt obliged to explain anyway. “I was dusting the cabinet when I knocked them to the floor. I picked them up, trying to sort them back into order and that was when I realised what I was holding.” I could contain myself no longer. “Henryk, I know which camp my mother is at now. I recognized the name as soon as I saw it on your list. She is in Auschwitz-Birkenau.”
50.
Henryk’s face paled visibly. His glass trembled in his hand and for fully a minute he stared at me, seemingly unable to speak.
“Henryk, what is it? What is wrong?”
At last he said, “Anca, are you sure about this. How can you be so certain?”
“Mama told me, on the day we received the news. I had completely forgotten the name, for it meant nothing to me at the time. I saw it written on the papers Chaim read to us on the train from Medgidia, also. So when I saw it written on your schedule I recognized it immediately.” I added excitedly, “Henryk, it is on your list. I saw your name by it. You are due there tomorrow. You must take us when you go.”
Henryk stood up, pacing the floor, unwilling to look at me. “You are certain of this, Anca? That it was Auschwitz? You are not mistaken?”
“Quite certain. Mama, all of us, were bound for Auschwitz-Birkenau. I remember it clearly now, having seen the name again.”
I could not sit still, but jumped up and grabbed Henryk’s arm. “Do you not see? If Mama was not on the first train, the train that crashed, but on the second, as I believe she must have been, then she will surely be there now, working as a seamstres
s, wondering if she will ever see her children again.”
Henryk stared into the distance, his face void of expression.
I added, “And maybe, just maybe, Elone’s parents also arrived there. Henryk, we must go there tomorrow. Please say you will take us with you.”
At this request Henryk took me by both arms and held me steady, for the first time looking directly at me. I saw tears in his eyes and my excitement gave way to apprehension.
“Anca... I do not know how to say this, so help me God, I do not.”
He stared at me, unable to collect his thoughts into words. Finally, “Anca, I have been inside these camps. I take deliveries to them and collect the goods they produce for distribution.” He paused, as if this ought to be sufficient explanation.
I looked into his eyes, not understanding. “So?”
Henryk chose his words slowly. “There are different types of camps, Anca. Some, like Plaszow, are simply labour camps, geared to war production. Others are... They are...”
“Henryk, what is it? Tell me what they are.”
“I am sorry, Anca, I cannot. It would be wrong of me to take away your hope.”
I grabbed his hands, imploring his attention. “Henryk, you make no sense. What is it? You must tell me.”
“No, Anca. That is enough. I will not discuss the matter further. Tomorrow I will make arrangements for you all to return to stay with Wojciech and Izabella. You will remain with them until the war is over and then, perhaps, God willing, you will all be reunited with your families again.”
“No, Henryk! No! You will take us to Auschwitz when you go. Drop us at the gate if need be and we will make our own enquiries from there. We are not the helpless children you seem to think, for we have come this far on our own. All I ask is that you take us to the gate. That much you must do for us. Please, I implore you.”
Henryk shook his head, again unwilling to meet my gaze. “It is quite out of the question. Auschwitz-Birkenau is no place for children. No place at all.” He took my arm. “Anca, if your mother has a skill as you say, if she is a good seamstress, then perhaps she is indeed there today. But children are not tolerated at Auschwitz and I will not in any circumstance take you there. Were it Plaszow I might consider your request, but not... Not to Auschwitz.”
I screamed at him, unable to control my emotions. “Why are you doing this, Henryk? You who have been so good to us? Why would you deny us now?”
The gramophone needle ground to a halt but no-one was concerned to tend it. Henryk looked into the distance, as if contemplating a range of responses. At last he said, “Typhus is rampant at Auschwitz, Anca. It is responsible for many deaths there.”
Through streaming tears I implored his conscience. “Henryk, would you have our parents die of this disease not even knowing their children are alive and well?”
“I am sorry, but I will not be responsible for taking you to your...” He stopped, unwilling to finish the sentence, shaking his head in sorrow. “No, child, no. I will not even consider it. You will do as you are told, Anca. There is a war raging, lest you had not noticed. There is good reason to suppose it will soon be over, for the Russians are advancing on the Polish border, but until that time you will stay with my brother. He and Izabella will care for the three of you until this nightmare is over. I will pay him myself for your board, so you need not object on those grounds. No arguments, Anca. The matter is not open to negotiation.”
I screamed hysterically, “But our Mama! We are so close! We have not come all this way only to be turned back at the last minute! No, Henryk! No! You will take us there! You must. You will drive us to—”
The palm of his hand caught me across the side of the face and stopped my scream instantly. It was not meant as punishment, rather a means to halt my hysteria, but I ran from the room sobbing and flung myself onto the bed between Elone and Nicolae, uncaring if I woke them or not.
I could not understand why Henryk, who until now had shown us such kindness, was now so ill-disposed to our intentions. Confused, sobbing, I placed an arm around the sleeping children and hugged them to me.
51.
It was dark and the city stood quiet. Somehow a plan had already formed in my mind. I slipped quietly from the bed, lighting a candle to illuminate my path, past Henryk’s room from where I could hear him lightly snore, to where I had that previous afternoon stumbled across the delivery schedules.
I paused only to listen should anyone stir, then rifled through the papers until I found the sheets I wanted to study. By the candle’s scant light I struggled to make sense of the detail. It was clear enough Henryk was bound for Auschwitz-Birkenau that very morning, as I had initially supposed. Further study revealed he would first go to Plaszow to collect a consignment of enamelware before going on to Auschwitz itself, there to deliver these goods and return with a cargo of clothing. My heart leapt at this news, for it was possible the very clothing he would collect might be in part Mama’s handiwork.
Any residual doubt or hesitation was dispelled at this prospect. It was the light of hope that flickers eternal, driving me on now to pursue my bold plan.
I selected a blank sheet of paper and procured a pen, then sat down and wrote a brief note of gratitude to Henryk, thanking him for his kindness, but explaining that, if he would not take us to Auschwitz himself then we had no choice but to make our own way there. Thanking him a final time I promised to return to see him when the war was over, if at all possible. I signed my name, folded the sheet and placed it carefully on the table where he could not miss it in the morning.
Creeping back to the bedroom I roused Nicolae and Elone, urging them to be silent and, ensuring they were warmly dressed, escorted them through the house and out of the door into the dark night.
Only once outside could I offer any explanation. I said simply, “Nicolae, I think I know where Mama is, though I urge you not to raise your hopes, for I could be wrong.”
Nicolae’s eyes lit up. “Really, Anca? Will we see her soon? Please tell me we will.”
“I cannot promise, Nicolae, but I hope so. I very much hope so.”
Elone looked up at me, eyes imploring. “Anca?”
I brought her to my breast and hugged her. “It would be wrong of me to encourage false hope, Elone. It may be we will find your parents too, but I cannot with honesty say we will.” I added, as if to offer consolation, “Henryk believes the war will soon be over, Elone. Then, perhaps, we will know for sure. Until then, my friend, my dear friend, you have Nicolae and I, and we you.”
“I understand, Anca,” Elone said quietly, fighting back the tears.
We huddled by the side of the house while I scanned the road, quickly sighting Henryk’s truck. As I had hoped, the wagon was of an open construction with a canvas cover and I pointed out the vehicle to my charges, adumbrating my plan.
“Henryk is to drive to a camp later today to deliver and collect goods. I believe we will find Mama there. He will not have us ride with him so we have no alternative but to become stowaways on his truck and let him deliver us unawares.”
Nicolae was open-mouthed at this news. “We are going to ride in that big truck? That big truck right there, Anca? That one there!”
“Hush, little one, hush,” I chided. “Do you remember how we played in the forest, before that nasty wolf came upon us? How we pretended to be invisible, so no-one would know we were there? Well we are to play that game again. But this time we will be hiding in the back of Henryk’s truck!”
“Without him knowing it, Nicolae! In secret!” Elone added excitedly and at first I thought she too had fallen for my story, but her eyes revealed her true thoughts and I realised once again she was play-acting, for my little brother’s benefit.
52.
Many hours were spent shivering beneath the tarpaulin before the angry slamming of the cabin door alerted us to the new dawn. As Henryk climbed into his seat and made himself comfortable at the wheel, just the other side of the thin panel that separated cabin
and wagon we could hear his loudly voiced imprecations, indifferent to our presence, clearly angered by our impromptu departure.
“That stupid girl! That stupid, stupid girl! She will have them all killed before the week is out! Why did I not tell her? Spell out the truth to her? That even if she by some miracle finds her own mother, the Jew’s parents are long since dead. To tell her that no Jew leaves Auschwitz alive.”
His words were lost as the engine fired into life and coughed its dirty fumes into the quiet dawn. Above the roar of the engine we could not even hear ourselves speak, let alone what else Henryk might be blaming himself for, but what we had already heard was mind-numbing.
I could barely believe my ears, hoping, praying, I had misheard, or if I had not that at least Elone had been too sleepy to make sense of his remarks.
But as I turned from Nicolae to my young friend Elone I realised she was sobbing, and had heard every word.
Talk was pointless, even were she able to hear me above the roar of the truck’s engine, for no words could offer adequate comfort at such a time. I brought her head to my shoulder and we cried together until we could cry no more.
53.
There was no way of telling time as the vehicle negotiated the pitted roads out of Krakow, though from a gap between the tarpaulin sheets I could snatch glimpses of the outside world. Conversation was not possible, for the only occasions we might hear one another, when the truck stopped, we knew we could be heard by our driver with equal ease.
Henryk’s stark comments, intended for no-one’s ears but his own, would not fade from my mind and I knew Elone too shared my thoughts. Nicolae was thankfully indifferent to our plight, rather enjoying the subterfuge of the journey and obtaining some boyhood delight from the uncomfortable ride, so I was at least able to lend my undivided attention to my friend.
Anca's Story--a novel of the Holocaust Page 15