“Devlin, please, stop, you can’t do this.” Nellie’s hand grasped at his arm, but he shook her off. She was caught off balance and fell to her side with a cry.
“No!” I begged, trying to break free of him. “Nellie! Devlin, please stop! We have to help her!”
He lengthened his stride, and I slid down, landing on my backside and staying there. He dragged me several feet before bending down, and with a muttered curse, hefting me over his shoulder. Behind us, Nellie managed to get up from the ground and staggered toward the road that led to the village, her hand wrapped protectively around her bulging stomach.
We reached the lighthouse, and he pulled open the door. The staircase was dark, the air damp and dank, as he climbed higher and higher. I no longer fought him. Instead, I concentrated on making peace with the Lord. I had not expected to die so young or so violently. There was so much I had not done, so many dreams I had never realized. I prayed for forgiveness of my sins. I prayed for the few loved ones I would leave behind, Cade and Tabby, Mrs. Dupree and John Bailey. I prayed that I was ready to meet my Savior. And I was haunted by Devlin’s voice, his biting assessment of me as a “bitter little thing.” How long had bitterness held me in its grip? Since John Bailey handed me the letter announcing the marriage of my sister and Cade? Had it taken root at that moment? Or had that simply been the moment it blossomed after years of lying dormant? Had it taken root much earlier, perhaps the moment our mother breathed her last and one of us was chosen to take her place by our father’s side? Had I always been envious of my sister’s freedom to act as she desired instead of as society dictated?
Had Desdemona thought of these things as she made this journey? Had she regretted the past or had she faced death with satisfaction in her life?
It was ironic that we were to die the same death when we had lived such different lives.
When at last we reached the door that opened onto the upper deck, Devlin lowered me to my feet.
“You want to know what happened to your sister?” he growled. “Let me show you.”
He pulled open the door, and pushed me out ahead of him. The wind whipped at my gown and hair, and I plastered myself to the wall, afraid to go near the edge. While I could well imagine Desi loving it here, being so high off solid ground turned my body to stone. If I went over the railing, it would be by sheer force, not my own folly.
“She came here all the time,” Devlin said, digging in his pockets until he found what he sought, a bright red sash he worked through his hands as he spoke. He seemed to relax, perhaps because he realized my phobia would keep me from trying to escape. “She said she felt as if she shared the view with the birds alone. Both Cade and I warned her of the dangers, of the crumbling mortar and slickness of the stone when it was wet. But she came anyway, rain or shine. At least once a day, more if the urge struck her, she was here, dreaming of flying away.”
He leaned against the wall beside me, once again calm, and speaking in those soft cultured tones he’d used in Nellie’s presence.
“Was she so unhappy?” I panted, my heart thudding in my chest so hard I could hardly breathe.
“Yes.”
The distant rumble of thunder reached us, and he looked toward the horizon.
“It had been raining for a week when she died.”
“Cade said it was a clear day.”
He ignored me and went on.
“She often grew melancholy when it rained. They said she left Almenara before the sun was even up. The sunrise was purple that morning, and the clouds were so low they circled the top of the lighthouse. When I saw them, I knew she’d be here even though it had been raining all night and the stairs would be a hazard. She loved it when she could touch the clouds.”
Was this a confession, I wondered. It hardly mattered, of course, as I wouldn’t live to repeat it to anyone else.
“I found her, you know. She was broken and battered, a little swallow who fell from the sky, crushed upon the rocks.” He took a shuddering breath, and closed his eyes against the memory. “I suppose our Amelia looked the same when Calvin found her there.”
“Did you see what happened to my sister?” I forced the question out through the lump in my throat.
“Yes. Just as I saw what happened to mine.” The word was a ragged whisper of pain, and it sent a shiver of fear up my spine.
With one violent shove, he turned me so that my stomach was pressed against the wall and my hands behind my back. Before I could think to fight, he had my hands bound and my eyes covered with the sash.
Terror came with sightlessness and my breath froze, coming in short shallow gasps that left me lightheaded and weak. I pressed my cheek against the cold hard stone, afraid to move lest I fall over the edge.
“Why are you doing this?”
“You are to Cade what she was to me, and I want him to feel the fear.”
I shook my head in denial, and he pressed his mouth to my ear.
“He killed her, Ophelia. I watched him do it.”
Chapter Sixteen
With those words, he was gone, and I was alone on the parapet, his words beating in my head like a drum with every panicked heartbeat. Relief that I was still alive washed over me, and I sank to my knees, my cheek running the length of the wall as I moved. I ignored the painful scraping of skin against stone and the jarring pain of my knees meeting the ground. I don’t know how long I leaned there against the wall, my arms growing numb and my back throbbing, before the first fat raindrop hit me. Even through the blindfold, I could see the lightning streak across the sky, followed by a clap of thunder that seemed to shake the very foundation of the lighthouse. Still afraid to move away from the wall, I attempted to turn so that my back was pressed against it. I managed only to fall on my side, and with my hands tied behind my back, it was impossible to right myself.
I screamed until my voice was raw, hoping and praying Nellie had made it to the village and would soon send someone to help me. Realizing she could very well have been hurt herself, I tried to force my worry for myself away so that I could pray for her. In the end, I simply prayed fervently for us both as the deluge of rain beat against me with icy precision and my body shook with equal measures of terror and cold.
The rain ended as quickly as it had begun, and as the skies quieted, I heard the sound of footsteps inside the lighthouse. My breath froze in my chest. Had he returned? Did he intend to kill me now?
The scraping of the door, followed by a vicious curse, and his hands were upon me, ripping the blindfold from my eyes. Cade appeared before me like an avenging angel, and I wondered wildly if this was the last visage my sister had looked upon. My mind spun with disbelief and fear, and with a whimper, I scooted away from him.
“No,” he barked, his dark eyes boring into mine, denying the fear he saw there. “No.”
I stopped my retreat, and he unbound my hands before pulling me against him.
“Inside,” I said through chattering teeth. Tremors shook my body so hard I could barely speak. “Take me inside.”
He muttered something my teeth were rattling too loudly for me to hear and lifted me in his arms. My fear dissipated into sudden relief, and I clung to him, my face buried against his neck. When I was close to him, it was impossible for me to consider him a murderer. When he pressed his lips against my hair, I was able to silence the small voice that reminded me that all the facts pointed to him, whether I chose to consider it or not.
Once we were inside the relative safety of the lighthouse, he stopped and leaned against the door. His breath was ragged against my hair as he continued to hold me.
“My God, Fee, I was terrified I’d find you on the rocks below.” His voice broke, and I lifted my head to peer at him through the dim light. “Did he hurt you?”
“No.” I nestled even closer against him, letting the warmth of his body seep into mine.
He let out a shuddering breath. “Thank God. Thank God.”
The hardness and heat of him emanated throug
h his clothes and mine, and a sudden, desperate hunger consumed me. The moment our lips met, I knew I was lost. I was no longer the innocent young girl I had been that long-ago season, nor was I the innocent, levelheaded spinster I had been mere days ago. I was a woman who wanted this man, despite the very real possibility that he had murdered my sister and another woman, and despite the violence I sensed in him. None of that mattered to me. All I wanted was to be with him, to know him as I’d never known another man, with a passion I had never dreamed existed inside of me.
He was the one to break the kiss, and his name was a plea on my lips.
“They’ll be looking for us, Fee. The cry went up and the men will be here any moment to make sure you are safe.”
As if on cue, I heard the other men downstairs.
“Cade!” Calvin bellowed from the bottom of the winding staircase. “Have you found her?”
“She’s here! I’m bringing her down now.”
Calvin, Dennis, and James Arnold waited for us at the ground level. At the sight of James, shame flooded through me. The last time I’d seen his very pregnant wife, she’d been dragging herself up from the ground, intent on getting help for me. Her welfare should have been my first concern, and because of my own indecent desire for Cade Scott, I hadn’t given her a thought once I’d seen him.
“Was Nellie hurt?” I asked him now.
“No, she’s fine, other than being out of her head with worry. She’ll be right as rain once we get you safely home.”
“Any sign of Devlin?” Cade’s eyes searched the shore and the tree line beyond.
“No, but I’ve got men searching the woods,” Calvin answered. To me, he said, “Well, Miss Garrett, I guess you’re no smarter than your sister was, going off on your own without telling a soul. It’s a miracle you didn’t come to the same end she did.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him I had told someone, but I didn’t want to get Dory in trouble, so I lied instead. “I only intended a short walk. I never dreamed I’d be in danger.”
I ignored Cade’s sound of disbelief as he tightened his grip on me and pushed past the other men. I had little doubt he knew exactly what had led me to Nellie’s gate.
Cade deposited me just inside Nellie’s front door with a stern warning to stay inside. Although I cringed at his commanding tone, I acquiesced with a slight nod of my head and turned my attention to Nellie, who lay back on the sofa, a damp rag on her head and the doctor bending over her solicitously.
“Oh, Nellie, are you all right?” I gasped, rushing toward her.
“I’m fine, Fee. The fall was just a little jarring, and James wouldn’t rest until the doctor had checked me.”
“Of course not. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.”
I looked toward Richard for confirmation that she was fine, and he nodded as he snapped his bag shut. He looked nearly as murderous as Cade had when he appeared on the parapet, and warmth rushed to my face. My disobedience of his orders had caused quite an uproar, and I realized now that my actions could have caused horrible repercussions for others as well as myself. How would I have lived with myself if Nellie or her baby had been injured?
“You look like hell,” Richard said curtly, causing Nellie to protest his rudeness from her place on the sofa.
“Don’t admonish him, Nellie. I’m fairly certain he’s right.”
She lifted the rag from her head and peered at me. “Oh, heavens, Fee, you’re soaked through. Go into my room and grab one of the dresses from my closet. Those in the front are all for my pregnancy, so you’ll want one from the back. You’ll find undergarments in the top drawer of the bureau. Use whatever you need.”
I protested that I would dry and be fine, but when she made to get up to find me something suitable to wear, I urged her to lie back down and hurried to do as she bid.
I reached to the back of the closet and pulled out the first dress my hand met. I had rather hoped her overabundance of ruffles and flounces was a temporary proclivity used to divert attention from her rounded belly. Judging from the ruffled, canary yellow confection I held in my hand, I was wrong. I refused to rifle through her closet in a futile attempt to find a more suitable dress. I would only have to wear it on the ride back to Almenara, after all, and it was doubtful anyone but Cade and Nellie would see me. I pulled open the bureau drawer she had indicated, but pushed it shut without removing anything.
I doubted there was a vicar’s wife in the country whose undergarments were so embellished, but then, I had already guessed that Nellie Arnold was one of a kind. With a sigh, I slipped out of my wet dress and dropped the yellow mass of ruffles and bows over my head. My own undergarments were of plain white linen and would dry quickly enough. I much preferred to wear them under a dry dress than to borrow the lace-and-bow-adorned things Nellie favored.
I pulled the two remaining pins from my hair and ran the brush through it. I watched in the mirror as it sprang back into wet black waves, which I tried to secure to my head in some respectable fashion. As I viewed my reflection, I decided that a few loose locks of hair were the least of my worries. Although Nellie was an inch or so taller than I and even outside of pregnancy quite a bit wider in the hips and waist, her bosom was considerably smaller than mine. So although the dress had ample room in the skirt, the ruffled bosom pulled tightly against my breasts, which seemed close to spilling from the top.
I let my hair down, arranging it about my shoulders so it covered the exposed skin above the neckline of the dress, or at least a portion of skin.
Not for the first time, I wondered how Nellie had come to be the wife of the quiet and reserved Reverend Arnold.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I came out of the bedroom. No one but Nellie was present in the house. Richard’s bag still rested on the chair where he’d left it, so I assumed he had joined the men in the hunt for Devlin. I sincerely hoped they would all stay gone until I was safely in the carriage heading back to Almenara.
“Come,” she said, patting the stool beside her. “Tell me what happened after Devlin took you away.”
“You don’t seem surprised that I’m uninjured,” I observed as I sat and arranged the ruffled skirt around me as best I could.
“Of course I’m not surprised. I never thought Devlin would injure you.”
“Why did you try to stop him?”
“You were terrified, and he was being unreasonable. I was afraid that was a sure recipe for disaster.”
“How well do you know him?”
She sighed, and pulled the cloth from her head. “Well enough to know he wouldn’t hurt you on purpose, but could very well let his proclivity for rashness cause you injury.”
“Proclivity for rashness?” I repeated the phrase, surprised at her tactful description of what others might consider utter insanity.
“Yes, like knocking me down. Devlin in his right mind would never do such a thing, but when worked up, he hardly even noticed he’d done it.”
“I’m not sure that is better than knowingly doing it.”
“Well, I’m sure it is,” she said. “Intent is what creates malice. And I’m right. Once he calmed down, he didn’t injure you, did he?”
“He bound my hands, blindfolded me, and left me outside on the parapet at the top of the lighthouse. I was trapped in the storm. It was terrifying.”
“But you weren’t injured, except for the scrapes on your face,” she observed sharply. “Wet and cold, but not gravely injured.”
“No, not gravely injured,” I agreed, wondering at her continued defense of the man. Had I been able to stand, I could easily have tumbled over the side. He may not have intended for me to die, but I wasn’t so sure he had intended me to live, either.
A loud crack of thunder sounded through the house and she jumped. Then, with her usual trifling laugh, she looked at me apologetically. “I apologize if I sound as if I’m excusing his actions, Fee. I’m certain you were scared out of your wits up there. I’m safely inside and the soun
d of another storm makes me tremble.”
A second rumble of thunder, and Richard dashed back inside, closing his umbrella as he entered.
“The sky let loose again as soon as I got to the cemetery. I expect the others will be back any minute.” Seeing me sitting beside Nellie, he came to me.
“Let me look at you, Ophelia.” He took my chin in his hand and turned my face to study the scraped and bleeding skin on my cheek. “How did this happen?”
“I scraped it against the stone.” My voice broke and tears pooled in my eyes. Given Nellie’s dismissal of my ordeal, I was ashamed at how raw my emotions were, and I tried to smile as I assured him I was fine.
His eyes softened and, without a word, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him gently.
I let him hold me, wishing I could feel for him what I felt for Cade. How much simpler my life would be if I could, but it was impossible. I would never feel for another man what I felt for Cade, and I would rather live alone for the rest of my life than live with a man for whom I didn’t feel that soul-stirring passion. I wondered if I would someday regret not settling for a good man who could love me and whom I could learn to love in turn. Why could I not find contentment in the gentle sort of love that would afford me children and a loving companion as I grew old?
The door opened, and I pulled away from Richard’s hold as the other men poured in.
“Did you find him?” Nellie asked her husband.
“No, and the storm’s come back around, so we aren’t going to look anymore tonight.”
Cade and Dennis Ames were the last to enter and, although deep in conversation, Cade shot a glance my way as they entered. I had no doubt the frightful picture I made, encompassed by overwrought ruffles and unbound hair, but I was still surprised at his reaction. His eyes widened and he stopped in mid-sentence. Dennis also stared at me, his face a fiery red, and I self-consciously smoothed my hair over my shoulders.
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