Stay back, Colin. For weeks his conscience was serving as her bodyguard, warning him to keep his distance. He had, but it seemed that in the past few days the bodyguard was quickly losing strength.
He walked up behind her to admire her work but got distracted by her soft smell and the way her behind curved in her jeans.
“Do you think I went overboard with this one? Mrs. Rich said she wanted Alice in Wonderland, but I think it looks a little circusy.”
“Is there a difference, love?” He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her soft backside into his front. She leaned against him.
Shit. She made it hard to stay away. It was almost as if she needed to be touched as much as he needed to touch her.
“Of course there’s a difference, dummy.” She sighed. “I just want it to be perfect. She came to us as a referral and we need more referrals like her. That’s what’s going to keep us going.”
“Mmm-hmm.” He lifted her hair and kissed the curve of her neck. He had promised himself he wasn’t going to kiss her like this anymore but he couldn’t help himself. They spent every day and most nights together. But instead of warming each other up in bed they spent it around the dinner table with Baba, playing card games, doing puzzles, or talking, things the doctor said were good for her brain.
Little did Colin know that those things were good for him, too. It gave him a glimpse into what family life was like.
Even when his father had women in the house, they never spent their time with him. Magnus never kicked him out or shooed him away but he didn’t go out of his way to spend time with him, either. He really didn’t have a family. More like three people living together.
Stop whining about your childhood. You’re Irish for fuck’s sake. Grow a pair.
“Mm,” Cherri moaned as he continued his kisses down the seam of her neck. The more he kissed her, the better he felt. “Mm, Colin, that feels good. Mrs. Rich is submitting photos of her house to Life Is Lovely magazine. If they do a spread of her house that could be good for us. Think about how much business we could get.”
“We’re a bit busy now, love.” He slid his hand beneath her shirt to curve his hand over her soft belly. Us and we. Hearing those words come from her mouth did something for him even though he knew he should back away.
They had already gone down this road once, and there could be consequences for it.
She hadn’t said anything to him about that night. It had almost been a month. He had a right to know what was going on but was almost afraid to ask her. Too afraid he wouldn’t like her answer.
This is why you should be with women your own age. Less trouble.
Oh, will you get off that already.
She came with baggage. A sick grandmother. A tumbledown house. Stuff he wasn’t used to from other women. But none of that seemed to matter when he was with her.
Find somebody else.
“I know,” she sighed. “You want to keep things small. I get it. This place is your baby. I wouldn’t want that to change for you.” She paused for a moment. “Colin?”
“Yes, love?”
“You’re kissing me.”
He nuzzled her neck. “It bloody took you long enough to notice.”
“You’re doing it on purpose?”
He spun her around so that he could frown at her. “What kind of daft question is that?”
She shrugged. “Maybe you shouldn’t kiss me anymore.”
“Why?”
“I—I—We slept together and it was nice—”
“Just nice?”
She gave him a wobbly grin. “You’re a total stud and you know it, but maybe it was something that should just be a onetime thing. We’re friends. We lead different lives.”
“This is sounding like bullshit to me, love. What are you trying to say?”
“You might break my heart.”
Hell.
He didn’t want to. He couldn’t see himself doing that because he couldn’t see himself ever wanting to be away from her.
Those were dangerous thoughts. Those were forever thoughts.
Walk away from this girl. Walk away. Walk away. Walk away. Fuck it. Run away.
But he didn’t. He knew the timing was bad. He knew that she was so worried about her grandmother—about everything that had been piled on her plate—that some of her bubbliness had evaporated, but even so he found her sweet and charming and adorable. Many might have crumbled under the circumstances, but she didn’t. He almost felt like love for her grandmother alone kept her going. For once in his life he wanted to know what it was like to feel that kind of love. Charlotte could teach him what it was like to feel that kind of love.
He wasn’t about to let her go.
He tilted her chin back and kissed her. And like always when he kissed her the rest of the world melted away and he was left with a warm sweet-smelling girl who felt right in his arms. He popped open the buttons on her ratty shirt, eager to get to her creamy skin.
She’s the last thing you need in your life right now.
But she’s the only thing you want.
He ignored the voices in his head and continued to pepper kisses all over her exposed skin. Right now thoughts had no place with him and Cherri. He just wanted to feel, so he kissed her neck. Her collarbone. The space between her breasts, and when he finally peeled the shirt off her body he froze. Her arm and the side of her breast were bruised. Little red nail marks angrily stood out against her white skin.
“What happened to you?”
“Nothing.” She stepped away from him and pulled her shirt on.
“Cherri.” He grabbed her arm, unable to accept that from her. “Don’t lie to me. I need to know.”
“I scared her. She was asleep—” She looked at the floor. “Please don’t ask me anymore.”
As much as he needed to know, as much as the need to protect her overwhelmed him, he didn’t push her to answer. Instead he pulled her close and smoothed a kiss across her brow. “You’ll tell me if it gets worse?” When she said nothing he forced her chin upward. “Love?”
She nodded and hugged him. “You know, I like it when you call me love. And yes, I’m changing the subject, and no I don’t care that you want to talk about it.” She looked up at him and smiled, revealing that dimple that always did him in. “In my mind I know we shouldn’t be doing this, but do you think you could kiss me some more?”
There was still doubt there. Doubt about them. He felt it, too. But he wanted to be with her. Not just to sleep with her. He wanted her to be his. And he needed to tell her that. But he couldn’t get the words out right then, because the need to be with her overrode all other thoughts.
“You’re going to be the death of me, lass.”
She cupped his face in her paint-splotched hands and stepped up to kiss his nose. “Do you think they’ll name a disease for me after you go? I could be Rudy-itis. Or the Charlotte Rudy disease. Or Cherri Pox.”
“Cherri Pox.” He captured her bottom lip between his teeth. “I’ll take some of that and gladly die from it.”
“Mm.” She slid her hands up the back of his shirt. His entire body came to life in an instant. “You taste good.”
His mouth left hers and he trailed his lips across her skin. He kept his eyes open so that he could watch her expressions. That was the best part of making love to her: seeing how his touch made her feel. At the moment she was smiling and so lovely that the last of his common sense fled. Aw, the hell with it. There was no way he could let her go without having all of her. “What time do you have to be home tonight?”
“Six.”
“Good.” He gripped her wrist and pulled her toward the door. “Then we’ve got all day.”
* * *
According to the clock on Colin’s bedroom wall it was five oh two. She had to leave soon.
Damn. Time flies when you’re making love.
She had to get back to Baba, to her real life, and leave her beautiful distraction behind. Spending all day in
his bed wasn’t in her original plans but she was damn glad her plans had changed. She needed him to help her take her mind off things. Last night had been a rough one.
But then that little niggle of doubt crept into her mind. He was becoming just one more complication in her already overcomplicated life. Where would he fit? What was really going on with them? How did he feel about her? Every time he looked at her she could feel herself slipping into love. But she knew that he didn’t feel that way about her.
He felt sorry for her. And for Baba and for their situation. She couldn’t help but wonder: If things were different, would he still be here now?
Colin stroked her damp hair out of her face, breaking her from her thoughts. “You smell like me, love. Well, you smell more like my soap.”
“Mm.” She shut her eyes, welcoming his touch. “It’s my favorite smell,” she told him, wishing she hadn’t.
He pressed his lips against her cheek, and she could feel the lazy grin spread across his face. How could his ex have cheated on him? Even Cherri knew that relationships weren’t all sunflowers and rainbows, but Colin was a good man. She knew he didn’t love her and yet when he looked at her she felt like she was the only woman in the world. Imagine if he did love her. The feeling would be more than intense. Maybe that was the problem with his ex. Maybe being loved by a man like Colin O’Connell was more than she could take.
Poor sap.
“What are you thinking about, beauty?”
“Nothing. Everything.” She opened her eyes to look up at his slightly bearded face. He looked so damn sexy with his rumpled hair. His hard body felt like a human heating pad on her weary body. “I have to go soon,” she told him, but for once she didn’t want to go home. Guilt flooded her at the ugly thought. Of course she wanted to go and spend time with Baba. She loved her.
“Do you?” he asked sleepily as he gathered her body close and stroked his hand down her bare back. “It can’t be near six o’clock yet.”
“It is. I have to get up in a few minutes.”
“I suppose the day got a bit away from us.” He kissed the shell of her ear. “Why don’t we take your gran out for dinner tonight and then you both come back here for the night?”
She grinned up at him despite the uneasiness that settled in her chest. “You want to have a sleepover after all that sex with just had? I never realized that I was so good in bed. Not bad for a newbie, huh?”
“You’re superb, love, but it’s not that.” He frowned at her. “Your house is shit, love. I don’t like you staying there. Especially in the basement. Half the time I’m afraid it’s going to topple on you during the night.”
She would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought the same thing a few times, but it kind of stung when somebody else pointed it out.“My house is not shit, Colin. My papa built it forty years ago. With a little work it could be great.”
He shook his head. “The foundation isn’t sound. I had an inspector come in and look at it.”
“What? When did you do that?”
She sat up, not noticing the sheet slip from her body.
He did, and God bless him he only looked at her chest for a moment. “When I noticed the cracks in the Sheetrock two weeks ago.”
“So you had a man come to my house to inspect it and you didn’t tell me?”
“I told your grandmother.” He paused for another distracted moment. “Technically I don’t need your permission. It isn’t really your house.”
“Excuse me? I’ve paid the bills there for the last five years. I stayed behind, sleeping in a moldy basement, when everybody else I knew was going away to college. I put my life on hold. I’ve turned down semesters abroad and internships in the city so I could be there with my grandmother and you have the nerve to tell me that it’s not my house? It is my house even though sometimes I wish I could have run away when I got the chance. It may be shit to you, but it’s the only thing besides Baba that I’ll ever have.”
“Aw, love.” He touched her shoulder. “That’s not true but I’m sorry your life is not what you want it to be.”
She realized how ungrateful she sounded. Her grandparents gave up their retirement to raise her and didn’t complain once. “I didn’t mean that.” She shook her head. “My life is fine. I’m glad I didn’t go away. It’s just … It’s just…” She couldn’t find the right words. “I don’t want to think about this anymore.”
“Don’t cry, Charlotte. Please, love. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
Damn it. She hadn’t noticed the tears until one hit her cheek. She was tired of crying. Tired of feeling sorry for herself. Her life was fine. Why didn’t she feel that way? “Make love to me.” She wrapped her body around him, needing the distraction that being with him would bring. His erection rose against her belly but he didn’t act; instead he held her at arm’s length and studied her face.
He shook his head. “You’re upset.”
“Yes, but you can make it better for me.” She reached between them, stroking him until he was hard in her hand. “Please, Colin. Make it better for me. Don’t tell me no.”
His expression grew so intense that it frightened her a little, but she kept at him. Touching and kissing till his hard body relaxed and he had no other choice but to make love to her one more time.
CHAPTER 14
Once. Twice. Three times a lady.
“I’m sorry I’m a little late,” Cherri said to Rena as she walked into the kitchen. The nurse was putting away dishes, which was clearly not in her job description but Cherri was grateful for her help. She had taken a lot of the burden off Cherri’s shoulders.
“It’s my fault,” Colin said, entering behind her. “I didn’t mean to make her break curfew.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed below her ear. Surprised by his actions she turned to look at him, but his eyes were on Rena and his arm was still firmly around her. “I’ll make sure she’s early tomorrow.”
Rena passed her light brown eyes over them and nodded. “I know why you were late. Can’t say I blame you. If it were me with him I would have been a hell of a lot more than ten minutes late.”
Cherri’s face burned. Apparently it was quite obvious what they had been up to. It was also apparent that Colin had no intentions of hiding … whatever they were. “How’s Baba?”
“Yes, how is the old woman? You think I could convince these two to stay at my house tonight?”
“Heard it was supposed to snow, did you? Don’t want your woman freezing her pretty little behind off in the godforsaken basement? If she had any sense she would go with you. Now, as for Yuliana, she was a bit weepy this morning after you left. But she’s been quiet most of the day. She went off to her room about half an hour ago and told me not to bother her. I checked on her just before you two walked in the door. She’s sleeping in her chair, holding that old music box in her lap.”
“Maybe I should let her rest. She hasn’t been sleeping well lately.”
“No.” Rena shook her head. “Wake her up. She needs to eat. She’ll be cranky as a bear if she doesn’t.”
“Okay. Thank you, Rena. I hope you know that I appreciate you.”
“No problem, sweetie. I’ll straighten up in here before I go.”
They left the kitchen, Colin’s fingers linked with hers. She didn’t want to think about what this could mean for them. Apparently there was no going back to the way things were.
“Where do you want to go for dinner tonight, love?”
“I don’t care. Maybe we should let Baba decide since you want us to stay at your house. If she’s happy she’s more likely to agree.”
“She’ll agree,” he said confidently. “Your gran and I are good mates.”
“Is this where you come when you leave the shop in the morning?”
“Yeah, we eat sweets and watch Jerry Springer together. Your gran is quite bloodthirsty. I said I’d take her to a boxing match if she was a good lass for you.”
Cherri stopped in front of Baba�
��s door and looked up at him. “Is this how you get girls to fall for you? You reel their grandmothers in first with sweets and trashy TV?”
He kissed her forehead. “I use whatever works.”
“It’s a shame you had to work so hard. I probably would have gone to bed with you if you had simply taken off your shirt.”
“What about the days when I’m feeling a bit bloated?”
They laughed as they walked into Baba’s room. The lamp was off. The only light visible was the one flickering from the TV. Baba was in her favorite place, her eyes peacefully shut, the music box Papa gave her cradled in her lap. She must have been missing him that day. She only held it like that when it got too much for her. Rufus lay at her feet, his head resting on her old pink slippers.
“Baba, it’s time to get up now.” Cherri approached her carefully. She didn’t want to startle her. She didn’t want a repeat of the night before. Colin, seeming to read her mind, placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her and switched on the light.
“Darlin’, we’ve come to take you to dinner. Anyplace you want to go.”
Normally Baba jumped at the chance to go out to eat, but this time she didn’t stir. She didn’t raise her head. Her eyes didn’t flicker. Her mouth didn’t move. Rufus looked up at her and whimpered.
In that moment the earth stopped moving for Cherri. The air whooshed out of her lungs. Her heart stopped beating. Not yet. She prayed to whatever god might be listening. Please not yet. But she knew. Even before she touched Baba she knew.
Her wrinkled hand was still warm when she pressed it against her cheek.
“I love you.”
“Charlotte?” Colin placed his hand on her shoulder, but she barely felt its weight.
“She’s gone.” She was surprised at how strong her voice was. The day she had feared her entire life was finally here and her life as she knew it was over.
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