by Radclyffe
Constance laid her hand on Tom’s arm and glanced at him fondly. “I suppose I have you to thank for this?”
He grinned, boyishly pleased with himself. “In part. I did talk with Adrienne, and she admitted she was miserable. I told her that she wasn't alone in her feelings. She finally explained that she wouldn't even consider coming here until she'd had her next check up. So far she’s doing fine.”
Constance sighed with relief. “Thank goodness. The change in Tanner is remarkable. I haven’t seen her truly smile in months.”
Tom sipped his martini and cleared his throat. “I have some news of my own, Constance.”
“Oh?” She looked at him questioningly.
“I’ve been cleared for a transfer to Washington in the spring. I’ll be posted there permanently.”
Constance laughed with delight. “But that is wonderful, Tom! I’m so happy for you!”
“I was hoping you’d be happy that I will be close—to Whitley Point.”
She answered softly, “Oh, but I am.”
Adrienne coughed to announce her presence and crossed the deck to join them. “Forgive me for eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help overhearing. I’m delighted for you, Tom. That’s a very impressive promotion.”
“Thank you,” Tom accepted graciously. He looked from Adrienne to Constance and continued, “I have some other news as well. Papers crossed my desk a few days ago which concern you, Adrienne.”
“Oh?” she said as she reached for the martini pitcher. “I’m not being court-martialed, I hope.”
“Far from it. Your promotion just came through – and about time, too. As of next week, Captain Pierce, it will be official. Congratulations!”
Adrienne looked at him in astonishment. “My god, Tom, did you arrange this promotion?”
“Absolutely not—they asked my opinion, and I gave it to them. You deserve it.”
“Deserve what?” Tanner said as she climbed the outside stairs to join them.
Adrienne attempted to signal Tom to silence, but he continued unperturbed. “Adrienne has been promoted to Captain, Tanner.”
Tanner stared at Tom for a moment and then she turned to Adrienne. “Congratulations,” she said softly.
Adrienne shrugged and offered Tanner a drink. “Thank you. It’s really just a paper promotion. I’m sure my life will proceed pretty much as it has.” She smiled slightly and added, “But, I’m pleased.”
The four of them talked, the easy companionable conversation of friends. Eventually, Tom mentioned that he had a few business matters to discuss with Adrienne, and they left Tanner and Constance to watch the sunset together.
Tanner sat beside her mother, lost in thought.
Constance rested her hand gently on Tanner’s arm. “Where are you?”
Tanner started slightly at the touch, then shrugged. “I was thinking about Adrienne’s promotion. I’m sure now she’ll never want to leave the Navy. I’m proud of her, I really am. But I, I – had hoped --”
Constance nodded knowingly. “Don't jump to conclusions, Tanner. Find out what she wants.”
Tanner noted a wistful note in her mother’s voice. “Are you in love with Tom, Mother?” she asked.
“Oh, Tanner. I don’t know if `in love’ is the right term for it. People your age fall in love. People my age are friends. But I’ve grown very fond of him—he’s a marvelous man—quite sensitive and gentle. I do miss him when he’s gone.”
“Have you slept with him?”
“Tanner!” her mother cried, “One does not discuss one’s sexual life with one’s children.”
“Oh, Mother—don’t be ridiculous. I know you must have sexual feelings. Certainly mine are no secret.”
“That’s no reason to discuss them before dinner!”
“Why not?”
Constance studied Tanner for a moment and then she laughed. “I actually don’t know.”
“Well?”
“No,” Constance said softly.
“Want to?”
“I don’t know that either,” her mother replied, her eyes clouded with memory. “You may find this hard to believe, but your father was the only man I ever made love with. I feel odd thinking of another man that way.”
“Odd,” Tanner said gently, “or guilty?”
Constance looked at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“Mother, Father is gone. You wouldn't be unfaithful to him if you love someone else, desire someone else. You’re alive—you have a right to your life. You have honored his memory for a long time. It’s all right to move on. And, Mother, if you ever decide to leave Whitley Point, it’s all right, too. I love it here—I doubt I’ll ever leave. I’ll be fine.”
Constance’ eyes fell on her daughter, overflowing with love. “Will you be?”
Tanner answered quietly, “Yes.”
* * *
After an evening of conversation, they had retired, each to their separate rooms. Adrienne couldn’t sleep, knowing that Tanner was so near. She had come without any real plans, only knowing that she needed to see Tanner again. Now, with her fifty yards away, she hesitated. She couldn’t go to her in fairness without making the decisions she had avoided for many months. As she lay awake in the still room, tossing and turning, she heard soft footsteps in the hall. Her heart pounded; it was Tanner! Slowly she realized that the footsteps had passed by her room and proceeded down the hall to the room where Tom was sleeping. She heard Constance’ voice and then Tom’s deep one. A door closed and the house was silent again.
Adrienne got up and threw on a light shirt to cover her nakedness. It was an unusually warm night, and she stood on the small deck outside her room, thinking. She thought about Alicia, knowing she would always care for her, and knowing that both of them deserved more. She considered her life in California, and found it acceptable. Acceptable, she thought. Is that all she could ask from life? She thought of how dark her days had been without Tanner. She thought of how the look of love in Tanner's eyes made her heart soar. She thought of Tanner sleeping in the night, not a hundred feet from her, and of how much she wanted her. And then she stopped thinking, and listened to her heart.
Tanner was not asleep. She lay on top of the covers in the warm room. The shutters were open, a faint breeze rustling the curtains. Her mind was on the woman who had filled her dreams every night for months. She could scarcely believe Adrienne was here. She didn’t hear the footsteps outside until the door to her room opened. She held her breath, her body tense.
“Tanner?” Adrienne called softly.
“I’m here.”
Adrienne crossed to the bed and lay down facing Tanner, reaching out to stroke her cheek. “I have to talk to you,” she began urgently.
Tanner pulled Adrienne close, her restraint vanishing in the face of desire too long denied. “Not now,” she rasped, her lips silencing Adrienne's faint protest with the force of her kiss.
Adrienne groaned, her body instantly aroused, and rolled onto Tanner, trying to touch every part of her. Her hands sought the breasts she had longed for every night, her lips caressed the places she knew would excite, her hips surged into Tanner's, calling her to the dance.
Tanner pulled at Adrienne’s scant clothing, wanting to feel her naked. She succeeded in opening her shirt, and slipped her hands inside. The rapidly building pressure between her legs was so strong, she scarcely heard Adrienne’s gasp as her fingers pressed into Adrienne’s firm flesh. Their bodies surged with an internal cadence beyond their control, passion answering passion. Sharp cries merged as restraint broke, and they clung together desperately, peaking one after the other, legs entwined, fingers stroking, sobbing against one another's skin.
“Oh god, Tanner,” Adrienne gasped. "I love you so much.
Tanner closed her eyes, held her close, and clung to hope.
* * *
When Tanner awoke the sun was high, and the room was aglow with early morning light. Adrienne was pressed against her, her head on Tanner’s shoul
der, her hair a golden spread across Tanner's breasts. Tanner stretched her cramped muscles slowly, not wanting to awaken her sleeping lover. Nevertheless, Adrienne stirred and sighed. She opened her eyes and smiled. She caressed Tanner’s shoulder and brushed her cheek across one soft nipple.
“Good morning,” Tanner whispered.
“Mmm—what a lovely way to wake up,” Adrienne murmured. She pressed her lips against the small bud of Tanner’s nipple and teased it with her tongue. She smiled contentedly when she heard Tanner’s sharp intake of breath. She loved to please this woman, more than she thought possible.
Tanner attempted to sit up, despite the heady feeling Adrienne’s lips on her breast inspired. “Adrienne,” she pleaded at last, “wait. You know I can’t think when you do that.”
“So?” Adrienne chuckled, running her fingers down Tanner's abdomen.
Tanner groaned, her hips jerking with a will of their own. She struggled into a sitting position and Adrienne, displaced, was left staring at her.
“I want you,” Adrienne said, leaning toward Tanner again.
Tanner grasped Adrienne’s arms and held her away. “Adrienne, please. You don’t understand.”
Adrienne stopped, suddenly uncertain. “Last night – I thought you wanted me, too. Is there someone else?” she asked quietly, her heart pounding with fear.
"God, no!" Tanner cried, amazed that Adrienne could even think such a thing. She ran her hand through her hair, shaking her head in disbelief. “Not want you? Don’t you realize I’ve been out of my mind since you left? I can’t go to sleep without wanting you beside me. I wake up lonely, struggle through the day empty inside, because you’re not here. My god, Adrienne, of course I want you.”
Adrienne took her hand tentatively, pressing her lips to Tanner's palm. "What is it then?"
Tanner shook her head. “It’s not enough, Adrienne. I love you—I want to live with you, share my life with you. Seeing you every now and then—making love with you—it’s not enough. I'll die a little every time you leave. I just can’t do it.”
Tanner hated the words, but she had to say them. Even if it meant losing Adrienne forever she had to say them. A night, a few days, now and then, wasn’t enough. She wanted much more out of life.
Adrienne sat for a long time studying Tanner’s face, and when she spoke, her voice held tears. “I've always loved you, Tanner. More than I had thought possible. I left you because I was afraid I couldn’t love you enough—that I didn’t have enough—physically or emotionally, to give you. I felt selfish—how much I needed you. I still need you, and it doesn't frighten me any longer. Living without you wasn't really living at all. Let me love you today, Tanner, please."
Tanner shook her head again. “Today is not enough, Adrienne. I want all of your days, every tomorrow -- a lifetime.”
Adrienne laughed softly. “You don’t want much, do you?”
“I want it all,” Tanner replied, her gaze steady and calm.
Adrienne swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up, holding Tanner's hand firmly. “Tom had some other news for me last night. I can have a transfer to the East Coast if I like, after I’m promoted. There’s a naval base about thirty miles north of here.”
Tanner remained still, but her heart was racing. “Do you want to transfer here?”
“It depends,” Adrienne responded. “I hate living on base.”
“I’m sure we could find you something suitable around here,” Tanner said quietly. “Perhaps something on Whitley Point?”
Adrienne turned to face her, her eyes full of love. “Well, there was one particular place I had in mind. That is, if you're willing to take a chance.”
Tanner gathered her into her arms and kissed her. “I never pass on a sure thing."
EPILOGUE
ADRIENNE TURNED INTO the drive with a sigh of relief. It had been a long day, full of meetings, site reviews, and submission of the final draft for a project she headed. She was glad to be home. As she approached Whitley Manor she smiled to herself. Home. It had taken her several months to get used to the idea that this was her home. After almost a year, she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. She and Tanner moved into the main house when Constance relocated to Washington the previous month.
Adrienne reached the door just as the housekeeper opened it.
“Good evening, May. Is Tanner home yet?”
May rolled her eyes and pointed upstairs. “Packing,” she said with a laugh. “You’d think the two of you were leaving for a year, instead of four days.”
Adrienne smiled, tossed her brief case on the table in the hall, and went upstairs to the master bedroom she and Tanner shared.
“Hello, darling,” she called as she entered the room. She stopped abruptly and stared. Closet doors stood open with garments half off hangers. The entire surface of the large bed as well as several chairs was piled with layers of clothing. Tanner, looking frazzled, stood in the midst of the chaos, an open suitcase on the floor beside her.
“It’s hopeless,” she cried in despair. “I can’t figure out what to bring!”
Adrienne kissed her, barely hiding a grin. “Well, not all of this.”
Tanner slipped her arm around Adrienne’s waist and drew her outside onto the balcony. “What does the well-dressed woman wear to her mother’s wedding?” she asked.
“I’ve always liked you in blue.”
Tanner rested her head on her lover’s shoulder and sighed. “What are you going to wear?”
Adrienne laughed. “That’s easy—I’ll wear my dress whites.”
Tanner kissed Adrienne’s neck and suggested teasingly, “Oh, good. I’ve always liked you in uniform. Shall we walk down to the bungalow, Captain Pierce? We can always pack later.”
Adrienne slipped her arm around Tanner’s waist and started toward the stairs. “An excellent idea, Ms. Whitley, but only for a brief visit. I promised Tom I’d have the daughter of the bride at the ceremonies on time.”
As Adrienne walked arm in arm with Tanner to their favorite hideaway, she thought of how precious a single day could be when lived fully. She looked forward now to the promise of each tomorrow, and the joy she knew they would share.
THE END
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This story is a work of fiction and is not intended to represent any particular individual, alive or dead. This work may not be printed or distributed for profit without the express written permission of the author.