HER SECRET, HIS BABY

by Tanya Michaels

  No, definitely not worth the gamble.

  Casting about for a neutral topic, she placed buttered bread in the skillet. Since he’d made the joke about livestock, she decided that maybe his ranch was the safest subject.

  “When you first told me what you do for a living,” she began, “you sounded like you really love it. Do you think you would have eventually found your way into ranching even if you hadn’t grown up surrounded by cattle and horses?”

  He leaned against the kitchen counter, considering the question. “I honestly can’t say. It’s so much a part of who I am that I never gave any thought to another line of work. If I had to be cooped up inside an office like Hugh every day, I’d go stark raving mad. Running the Double F alongside my father... He’s a hell of a man. I always wanted to be—” He broke off, his jaw clenched. Tension lined his rugged face.

  Was there conflict between Garrett and his dad? Arden flipped the cheese sandwiches, backtracking quickly. “What about your mom?” Her voice was too shrill with forced cheer, and she struggled to sound natural. “Are the two of you close?”

  “Not currently.” He set the bowls of fruit salad on the table with a muted crash.

  Strike two. “Any, uh, brothers? Sisters?”

  “Only child.”

  She chuckled bleakly. “You with no siblings, me with no parents. It’s like, between the two of us, we have enough puzzle pieces to make a whole family.”

  “A family.” His expression darkened. “Maybe under different circumstances, we could have been. Maybe I would’ve known what it was like to teach my own son how to ride a horse, how to drive a tractor.” He stared her down, so much pain in his steely gaze that it stopped her breath. “You know what? I’m not hungry, after all. Guess I’ll head back into town.”

  Garrett, wait. At least eat something before you leave. She followed him, but her protests never made it any farther than her mind. She’d made a sufficiently disastrous mess of things for one night. Given his charged mood and her own emotional unpredictability, it was probably best to let him go.

  He hesitated at the door, his look almost menacing. “I’ll be in touch soon. Like it or not, we have a lot to discuss. I won’t be a stranger in my child’s life, Arden.” With that, he left.

  Possibly to do online research on Colorado family law and paternity rights. He’d looked furious. Was he enraged enough to challenge her for custody?

  She pushed the horrible thought away. Garrett was a good man. Yes, she’d screwed up by not telling him of her own volition that he would be a father, but the baby wouldn’t be here for another few months. She prayed that was enough time to somehow make this right.

  Chapter Five

  Garrett pulled over at the end of Arden’s street and texted Hugh, asking if his friend could meet him in town. Fifteen minutes later, both men were parking their vehicles outside Hugh’s favorite bar. The place didn’t look like much—the lot was gravel rather than pavement and a couple of the light poles had burned-out bulbs—but Garrett had been here before and knew that the food was good and the drinks were reasonably priced.

  “Thanks for joining me,” Garrett said, his words brusque but sincere. “Feels like I’ve been asking you for a lot of favors lately. Hope I didn’t interrupt you and Darcy’s dinner.”

  “Nah, she’s got book club at a friend’s and isn’t even home. For tonight, it’s just us guys.” Hugh squinted at him in the dim lighting. “So this might be a good time to finally tell me what brings you to town. Besides my obvious awesomeness.”

  Garrett had no idea where to begin. The astonishment over his mother’s confession was still fresh, but now there was the tangle of Arden’s deception, too. He felt battered by lies and weighty decisions he needed to make. “What would you do if Darcy ever lied to you?”

  “What, you mean like about how expensive a pair of boots were?” Hugh asked.

  “No. About something major.”

  Shaking his head, Hugh reached for the door to the bar. “She wouldn’t do that.”

  Isn’t that what Garrett had told himself twenty-four hours ago? That Arden Cade wasn’t the kind of person who would hide her pregnancy from the baby’s father? Lord, had he been wrong. But maybe he shouldn’t be surprised. Apparently the closeness he’d felt between them during their night together had been merely superficial. An illusion. What did he really know about her?

  That she’s a talented photographer and a young woman who’s lost too many people in her life, that she’s scared but already loves this baby fiercely. He didn’t want to empathize with her, but he couldn’t help admiring how she’d dealt with the deaths of her best friend, her nephew and her parents. Even though he was avoiding his own mother right now, the thought of either of his folks dying one day turned his stomach and made his flesh clammy.

  The men stepped inside and waited for the hostess to find them an available booth.

  Amid the bar’s many neon lights, the concern on Hugh’s face was unmistakable. “I don’t want to push, but, buddy, you look like you’re gonna snap if you don’t talk to someone.”

  It was a fair assessment. “Okay, but this conversation will require some time. And definitely some beer.”

  * * *

  “CANNOT BELIEVE YOU’RE gonna be a daddy,” Hugh slurred. It wasn’t the first time he’d made the declaration. “I assumed it would be me before you. Since I’m, you know, actually married.”

  “Hey, I figured it would be you and Darcy first, too.” Accepting reality was a cyclical process, one he’d been stuck repeating all day. It was like trying to unknot gnarled fishing line—each time he thought he was making progress, he’d have to start all over again.

  “Have another glass,” Hugh suggested sympathetically. He’d gone through more than half the pitcher while Garrett, now the designated driver, was busy spilling the story. Or at least an abbreviated version of it. He got through the upsetting news of his mom’s affair, which had spawned this trip, to the secret of Arden’s pregnancy. But he left aside the issue of Will needing a kidney transplant for now. It was too much for one night.

  Garrett shook his head. “I don’t think a second beer is really a long-term solution.” Considering how Justin Cade had glowered at him the other day, maybe Arden’s brothers would ultimately drop him off a steep cliff and eliminate the need for long-term plans. “Look, about Arden...I don’t think she’s really eager for people to know who the father is. The details—”

  “Are her business. And yours,” Hugh said firmly. “I won’t keep secrets from my wife, but don’t worry. Darcy and I won’t spread any gossip.”

  “Y’all are the best,” Garrett said, genuinely grateful. For the first time in days, he felt as if he could count on someone. Life had thrown him nothing but curveballs lately, and it was nice to be reminded that he had people in his corner. Hugh was as good a friend now as he’d always been in the past.

  Garrett found himself nostalgic for the much simpler past. The present was full of perplexing psychological land mines. And he had no idea what to do about the future.

  * * *

  WHILE ARDEN UNLOCKED her studio early Wednesday morning, Justin impatiently shifted his weight behind her.

  “Your secrecy is freaking me out,” he complained. “First you were cagey about why you needed me to drive you to work this morning, now you won’t tell me why you’ve called a family meeting.”

  The three siblings had long ago agreed that Cade family meetings were never to be called lightly and that attendance was mandatory.

  Arden shot him a quelling look. “Of course I’ll tell you—when the other part of the family gets here.”

  Justin went straight for the coffee supplies in the corner and began filling the pot with water. “You had a ‘dizzy spell’ yesterday and a friend drove you home,” he commented. “Which friend? If it
was Layla, you would’ve said so. I know there’s something you’re leaving out. You were a lousy liar as a kid, and you haven’t improved with age.”

  She stood next to the coatrack, shrugging out of her jacket. “I got dizzy enough that I went to the hospital, okay? But I don’t want Colin to know, so you’d better not mention it. He does not need any extra reason to worry that something will happen to me or the baby.”

  Justin was quick to agree. “My lips are sealed. Look, I’m as concerned about him going round the bend as you are. But you can tell me this stuff, okay? I’m too shallow to stay up nights obsessing over other people’s safety.”

  The big faker. “No, you’re not.” The women he jilted might think of him as a heartless beast, but Arden knew there was more to him than that. Why was he so reluctant to let people see his caring side? “You’ve been a fantastic brother these past few months, and I don’t know how I would have coped without you.”

  “Ah, is that what the family meeting’s about?” he asked, spinning around a low-backed chair and straddling it. “Am I getting a medal for outstanding brothership? Is there a cash award involved? Because there’s this new girl who works at the deli across from the ambulance station, and I would love to take her out for a night on the town.”

  Ignoring him, she booted up her computer for the day. Given Justin’s flippant personality, he might be kidding about the girl at the deli. But if he was serious, she’d rather not know. His hit-and-run dating habits were too exasperating. She’d never seen him happier than he’d been with Elisabeth Donnelly. She understood that Elisabeth’s life had changed drastically after being named guardian of a little girl, but she believed Justin had made a grave mistake walking away from the woman he loved. A gust of wind swept through the studio when the front door opened again, and her heart jumped to her throat. Colin. While she’d decided that this conversation with her brothers was necessary, she dreaded having to go through with it. Silly, really. Wasn’t the hardest part telling them she was pregnant in the first place? Relatively speaking, explaining who the father was should be a piece of cake.

  She watched her brothers exchange greetings. Colin’s hello was terse, his voice a low rasp. He had his motorcycle helmet tucked under one arm, and his rich brown hair had grown shaggy, falling across his forehead. It almost covered his turquoise eyes, which resembled hard stone in more than just color. All in all, not someone you’d want to encounter in a dark alley.

  It tugged at her heart that he tried, for her benefit, to smile. Even if it was a dismal failure. “Morning, Colin.”

  “You...look good. Glowing and all that.”

  “Thank you.” She hugged him, trying not to be offended by how he stiffened at her embrace. The man who’d once cuddled her after nightmares and skinned knees could no longer bear to be touched.

  He patted her on the back, then stepped away. “You haven’t called a family meeting since you told us you were expecting. What’s wrong?”

  She heaved a sigh. “Didn’t I say in the message, like ten times, that everything was okay and not to worry? That I just needed to talk to you guys?”

  “Maybe this is when she tells us she’s having twins,” Justin mused.

  “No.” She led them to the table where she normally showed clients their photo selections, and they all took a seat. “This is when I tell you about the baby’s father.”

  “About damn time.” The playfulness vanished from Justin’s gaze. “Tell me you’ve talked to him and that he’s taking responsibility for what he did.”

  “What he did?” She rolled her eyes. “Where do you think I was in all this?”

  Colin held up a hand, looking pale. “No details!”

  She interlocked her fingers, trying not to fidget while she searched for the right words. “I told you that you guys didn’t know him—”

  “Which I’ve always found suspect,” Justin interjected. “We know pretty much everyone you know.”

  “Well, I didn’t know him, either,” she admitted. “He was an out-of-town guest at a wedding I shot. I’d only met him that night.”

  “You went to bed with a total stranger?” Colin roared. “And didn’t have safe sex?”

  Her face flamed, but she didn’t get the chance to explain that they’d used protection.

  “Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?” Justin demanded.

  “Hey.” She slammed her palms down on the table. “No yelling at the pregnant lady. It’s not good for me or Peanut. We were careful. Or tried to be.” She wagged her finger at Justin. “And you don’t get to comment on my love life, you hypocrite. How many women have you slept with whose last names you didn’t even know?”

  He ground his teeth but didn’t argue.

  “I needed that night. It was Natalie’s birthday, and I just—” She broke off, assessing her oldest brother. There was a time when his late wife’s name made him flinch. Now he stared woodenly ahead. Difficult to tell whether that was progress.

  She swallowed hard, picking up the thread of her story. “The next day, Garrett left town and went back to his regularly scheduled life. I was stunned to learn I was pregnant, but I saw it as a gift. Almost like...Natalie’s gift to me. I didn’t see him as part of the equation. Until he came to town for an unexpected visit.”

  “The guy from the grocery store!” Justin declared. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

  She nodded. “He deduced that the baby is his, and he’s justifiably irritated.” The emphasis she put on the word kept it from being a laughable understatement.

  Colin’s scowl deepened. “What did he say? If he thinks he’s going to upset my sister, I—”

  “I do search and rescue,” Justin said. “I know plenty of obscure places where no one would find his body.”

  “And you two boneheads don’t understand why I wouldn’t tell you who he was? Garrett isn’t the one who messed up. He thought he was taking a few days in Cielo Peak for rest and relaxation, he wasn’t expecting his life to get turned upside down. The thing is, I’m not sure how long he’s staying and I need to...fix this. I don’t want him hating me. Or suing me for custody. Or—”

  “He threatened to take your baby?” Colin’s voice was raw murder.

  “No! That’s an over-the-top, sleep-deprived worst-case scenario.” The most recent of her 2:00 a.m. panic attacks, which ranged from concerns about genetic predispositions to wondering how difficult it would be to master the art of nursing. “Justin, if you’re not on call tonight, I want to invite Garrett to dinner so you two can meet him.”

  “Absolutely,” Justin said with relish. He and Colin exchanged bloodthirsty glances that detonated Arden’s temper. A tsunami of conflicting emotions and pregnancy hormones crashed over her.

  “Enough with the insane big-brother crap!” she thundered. “I don’t need someone’s knees broken. I need support. Mom’s not here to hold my hand, to soothe my panic when I suddenly can’t remember how long it’s been since I felt the baby move. Nat was my best friend in the world, and she would’ve been supportive without judging me, but she’s gone, too. After Thanksgiving, something between the size of a five-pound and ten-pound bag of potatoes is going to come out of my body, and then starts the really difficult stuff! I have to figure out how to raise a kid alone. Do I make enough money as a photographer? Even with Layla’s generous offers of weekend and summer babysitting, how will I be able to take as many jobs? I’ve been terrified of screwing up, yet it seems like I already have. I kept Garrett in the dark, and I have no one but myself to blame if he detests me. One family dinner isn’t going to make things right, but it’s a start. You two are going to help me. You will come to my house for dinner, and you will be nice! Got it?”

  Belatedly, Arden realized she was breathing hard. And standing. When had she shot out of her chair?

  “Damn.” Justin turned to Colin, loweri
ng his voice to a stage whisper. “So much for you being the scariest Cade.”

  * * *

  AS SOMEONE WHO loved being outdoors, Garrett should be having more fun. The scenery was breathtaking, and the crisp bite to the early autumn air was a refreshing counterpoint to the bright sunshine. He knew Darcy had suggested this midmorning hike to keep him entertained while Hugh was at work, but Garrett spent a lot of hours with stoic ranch hands and equally nonverbal cows. He was unprepared for Darcy’s nonstop, effervescent commentary.

  “Don’t you worry,” Darcy had chirped on their drive to the trail’s entrance. “Hugh told me everything, and I won’t pester you with questions about you-know-who. We’re going to get your mind off your problems!”

  Evidently, her treatment for a troubled mind included two steps: fresh air and more information on birds than any normal human being could process in a lifetime. The summer day he’d first met Darcy, he’d commented on the finch tattoo across her shoulder blade and learned she loved birds. But he’d never known until now how much ornithological detail she could pack into a discussion.

  Although, weren’t discussions multisided? This fell more into the category of an academic lecture. Somehow, she’d worked her way around to the topic of orioles and their intricate nests, which she called “engineering marvels.”

  “They’re really quite spectacular,” she continued happily.

  Garrett hoped his eyes didn’t glaze over, or he might end up aimlessly walking off the mountain. He made a nominal effort to listen, but he was busy imagining an oriole hatchling hit with the news that his father was some other bird. Actually, son, you know that cardinal a couple of trees over? I was going to tell you when you were old enough....