VIBGYOR

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VIBGYOR Page 2

by Keerthana Jayaraj


  I touched the book again, this time trying to decipher the emotions attached to it. A scorching heat licked my hand, burning and hurting me.

  “What in the world!” I cried out, withdrawing my hand. Burning grief…Not a common thing but there it was. Attached to a toddler book. I stared at Shivani. A nagging doubt came to my mind. Was the child…A little toddler perhaps dead? Oh dear…I wished it wasn’t……An odd feeling, remarkably like an electric bolt ran through me. It seemed I had found a very good reason for murder. Poor Shiva. I hoped she would hesitate before doing anything rash.

  CHAPTER 2

  The morning sun, mild and warm, smiled at me through the window. I got up from the floor, feeling a wave of weariness and unhappiness wash over me. The child… Was this how humans felt when they carried heavy loads in their hearts? If so, they have my full sympathy. This was not pleasant at all. Rather like trying to run a marathon with a heavy stone tied to your leg.

  Shivani’s bed was empty. The blankets were at the bottom, rumpled and untidy. She had thrashed about in her sleep. Perhaps she even had nightmares. Once again, I felt a tiny bit of sympathy for her. Not a common thing for us spirits but hey, Shiva deserved it.

  The felt book that had burned me last night lay on a pillow, its pink cover lit up pleasantly by the sunlight. Smiley faces of all varieties adorned its cover. There was the pretty smiling one, the pouting one, the crying one…It was so delightfully kiddy, crafted with a lot of love. Perhaps Shiva made it herself. Mothers do have a habit of making little things for their children.

  I moved closer to it, my hands outstretched. I knew this thing could hurt me if I tried to read the emotions but that wasn’t what I wanted to do. I simply wanted to touch it. Just feel it. It was then that I noticed it. The tiny red letters carefully sewn into a corner. It was a name. A girl’s name – Shakti. It was a rather cool name. I wouldn’t mind at all if someone addressed me so.

  The door of the room swung open. Shivani came in, one slender hand touching her tousled hair. Her eyes were bright. Too bright. Had she planned something? It certainly appeared so to me.

  Shivani opened a small door on the left and went it. I followed her. It was a small stuffy room, full dresses hanging on pegs and hangers. A dressing table stood near the door, the mirror gleaming rather unpleasantly. A horde of makeup objects – eye shadows, eyebrow pencils, lipsticks - littered it. It looked rather too much for the poor little table to bear. Who was inconsiderate and insensitive enough to present Shivani with these odious things? She wasn’t the fashion-model kind of girl who painted her face and nails every day.

  I slipped away just as Shivani went through another door at the end of the dressing room. She was probably going to take a bath. Was she going outside? I had no idea. But if so, I was going to follow her.

  She took a long while to come back out of that door, and, my goodness, there was no doubt that she intended to go out. Her attire shocked me. She was dressed in a light blue jeans and white designer top – not the kind of thing I would have imagined stocked inside her wardrobe. Her hair (obviously dried using a hair dryer) was done stocked inside her wardrobe. Her hair (obviously dried using a hair dryer) was doneVIBGYOR

  up in a high ponytail. All very pleasant to look at. But it made me uneasy. It seemed to me that Shivani was trying to become someone else…But why? Shivani came closer to me and suddenly I got a close up view of her face. I was shocked for the second time. She was wearing makeup! Light blue eyeshadow… delicate pink lipstick! I felt like screaming out loud. What on earth was she up to? This person before me didn’t feel like the Shivani I saw last night...Humans do change but when their personalities do a turnaround like this after one night, it wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all.

  I followed Shivani into the dining room. Her mother was already there, swiftly setting the dining table for breakfast, rather as if she expected a guest. I wondered who was coming. Perhaps Shivani wanted to get away from this person. But why was she all dressed up like a doll if all she wanted was to escape?

  “Mom…” I suppose I was so used to surprises by that point, for Shivani’s firm harsh voice failed to surprise me. But I have to say it stunned the old woman. She looked up baffled and well…the bafflement increased tenfold when she took in the appearance of her daughter. I would be puzzled too if a Green came and acted all goody-goody towards me.

  “What…Shiva…” The stuttering and stammering amused me. The poor thing. She looked like a bungling incompetent actor who had forgotten her dialogue in the middle of a performance.

  “I am going out. I’ll be back by noon.”

  No asking permission. No polite expressions. No…This was definitely not Shivani. “Shiva…What…”

  Her mother spoke again- timid, doubtful and hurt. I felt a tinge of sympathy for her. She didn’t deserve this. After everything she had gone through, she didn’t… “I said I…” I floated towards Shivani and caught her throat firmly before she finished the sentence. It wouldn’t hurt her, just stop her from speaking. I didn’t relish the action but it simply had to be done. Shiva didn’t know what in the heck she was doing and someone had to stop her from saying something she would regret later. Humans say that words can wound worse than swords but do they really know how much words can hurt? We do. We do because we’re often the silent spectators of the consequences of human actions. Tongues cause all sorts of disasters. They cause accidents, suicides, murders……All the things that I’d rather not happen in the world.

  Did Shiva have an inkling of what happened to her? Of course not! She would have thought herself ‘too angry to speak’ and that was that. I would have liked to let her to know though. Maybe she would feel better if she realized she wasn’’t alone in her struggle.

  A purring noise came from the driveway. I peeked out of the window. It was a car…A sleek shiny silver car. In an ancient past, the cavemen boasted about their health and strength. In a less ancient past, kings liked to show off their handsome stallions and ornate chariots. Today, ‘high class’ people liked to show off their fancy cars. Humans haven’t really changed very much, have they? They may say they became more ‘civilized’’ or ‘sophisticated’ and all sorts of other nonsense but really…There is a caveman deep inside the ‘‘modern’ man.

  The man who stepped out certainly reminded me of a medieval king, strutting about like a peacock. He was a short man, a bit on the fat side, dressed in a back suit. Obviously a businessman. Suddenly, I knew that this was the man the old woman inside was waiting for.

  He stopped by the front door, his head turning this way and that. Did he expect to be welcomed with a red carpet? Oh, dear, he wasn’t going to be a pleasant house guest at all.

  “Devi? Shiva?” He called. The tone annoyed me. It was not polite. It was a tone people only used with servants. Who was this man and who did he think he was, playing ‘I’m the king of the castle’? If I were Shiva’s mother I would slam the door at his piggy face and tell him never to come back.

  But Shiva’s mother didn’t do anything of the sort. The old woman jumped up for the chair she was sitting on and raced past me like a champion marathon runner! I have to admit I gaped at her in wonder. Who would have thought a rather frail old thing could run like that...

  I saw her a while later through the window, speaking to the man in whispers. It was maddening. She looked so humble, so ‘goody-goody’, so ‘servant like’’. I couldn’t see why. The poor thing wasn’t a servant. She was the mistress of the house but why on earth wasn’t she behaving like one?

  I went through the window, just in time to hear a bit of their conversation. The man – the lazy arrogant prick – was saying in a loud voice.

  “You say she wants to go out? Tell her no! It been only two months damn it! Tell her her Dad says so.”

  He was her husband! I could barely contain my surprise. They looked so…so… ‘Not made for each other’. Can two people, as different as night as day, love each other? made for each other’. Can two pe
ople, as different as night as day, love each other? VIBGYOR

  No way! There was no doubt about it. This was a loveless marriage. Two human beings forcibly chained together by…families or whatever. The woman mumbled something so quietly that I couldn’t catch it. But the man certainly heard and I think he didn’t like it much. His face went all red and hot. I’m sure he wanted to look all intimidating but…It rather looked as if he had a tomato in the place of his head. Comical but certainly not scary.

  The woman, or Devi as he called her, didn’t see the funny side at all. She took several steps back from him as if afraid of a few slaps. “I don’t think she’ll change her mind.”

  “I’ll go to her.” he said, “She wouldn’’t dare to answer me the same way.”

  Colour drained off the woman’s face. Her eyes went all wide and scared. I felt rather sick. I mean…Yes…It would have been a charming kind of look in a child (‘‘Mommy I’m so scared. It’s a big spider’) but in a woman, it was pathetic and disgusting. I glared at Devi, almost wanting to shout and yell at her.

  “What is this I hear about going out?” Shivani’s father’s voice was so loud that it startled me. He was trying his domineering act again. I floated into the house, feeling a ghoulish excitement. His show may have worked on Devi but I had a nagging feeling that it wouldn’’t work on the ‘new’ Shivani.

  The scene that greeted me inside was not pretty. Shivani’s father was standing at one end of the dining table, his face a flaming red. Shiva, cool as cucumber, stood at the other end, her pony tail bobbing.

  “What did you say?”

  Shiva’s father’s voice was trembling. Anger shot into the air like electric sparks. I moved instinctively towards Shivani, determined to help her if needed. “I said I am leaving now. To the park.” I have to say I loved Shiva’s reply. I’m all for politeness and respectfulness but only when they are given to the right kind of people. The rude, angry disrespectful man before me wasn’t the right kind. He didn’t deserve even the teeniest tiniest bit.

  The man turned, if it was possible, redder. His hand, soft and pinkish, like a child’s, descended hard on the table making a terrific noise. I took a step back, feeling a kind of scorching heat from him. Ugh! What was this fellow? An active volcano?

  “Do you have any idea what people will say? Do you care one bit about that you…” He panted between the words, mean little eyes narrowing dangerously. I had to He panted between the words, mean little eyes narrowing dangerously. I had toVIBGYOR admire Shiva’s nerve. She still stood there not budging an inch, almost glaring at her angry father.

  “He isn’t sitting around shut up in his room, is he?”

  For a moment, the man looked disarmed. Some red drained out of his face. He opened his mouth a bit as if to speak something then closed it again.

  Shivani’s lips curled into a nasty smile. I took a step back from her as well. Heck! She looked so different…so…so sinister.

  “But that’s different, isn’t it?” she asked. ““Everything’s different. For him.” More red drained out of the man’s face. He turned around and walked away, turning back a few times. Confusion rippled in his eyes. I giggled to myself (well…being a spirit you didn’t exactly have a gang of friends to giggle with). The king scampering away defeated. Just like a common coward.

  Shiva looked supremely unconcerned. I couldn’t even detect a “Victory!” look in her eyes. Odd that…Human love to crow over each other. Sadists…that’s what they are. That’s not an exaggeration mind you, born from, you know, hatred of the homo sapiens. It’s just what they are. They love dramas, watching others in distress. Is there any wonder that the horrid Greens are increasing in number, day by day?

  Just as Shiva flung her handbag over her shoulder, a subdued conversation broke out ouside. I looked out of the window to see the man sitting beside Devi on the front steps. A huge traveler bag lay forgotten near the car. Maybe the woman had taken it out of the car while Shiva and her father were having the ‘conversation’ inside.

  I floated out of the window just in time to hear the man ask a question. “What’s the deal with the new look? She never liked wearing those things although Nandan…”

  Devi shook her head sadly.

  “I don’t know…I…” Her voice was choked. I could feel the held back tears. “Something’s happened to her. I just…” The man stared at her, apparently lost for words. A deep sense of incredulity flooded me. Don’t parents know their only daughter? Haven’t they lived under the same roof for many years? Oh well…Maybe human couldn’t understand each other at all.

  Shiva strode out just as her father got up. For a moment their eyes met. Shiva looked cold and steely, almost daring anyone to stop her. Her father was still mad at her, I could tell. But he seemed to have cooled down a bit. I sensed an orange inside him, ready to be released.

  “Think about what you’re doing, Shiva. Think about…”

  The man glanced at his wife, as if begging her to help. The words and tact the situation demanded was out of his reach just as the stars and moon were. “Let her go.” The woman’s soft words were as much as a surprise to me as they were to her husband. Shiva’s lips curled into a dry joyless smile. A cold dread spread all over me. She was preparing for something desperate. And strangely, I felt that her mother knew it too.

  Shiva ran down the steps and jogged a bit towards the gate - A wild bird out of its cage, savuoring juicy taste of freedom. A pleasant picture if the wild bird was flapping about eagerly bursting into a sweet song. But that was probably not what this bird had in mind. I shuddered a little at the thought.

  I followed close by Shiva as she swung open the gate and walked into the road. A group of women standing by the gate stared at her unashamedly. One of them, a fat gaudy thing all dressed up in a glittery red sari, snickered and called out to Shivani.

  “It’s good to see you outside Shiva…I’ve always told my husband that it was not right to keep a young woman shut inside the house like this…It’s…” Blah! I almost threw up in disgust. What a creature…The putrid smell of the Greens hung about her and no wonder! I watched her mean eyes flicker maliciously, fixed on Shiva’s back. She didn’t expect an angry response. I mean, who would, if they had always known Shiva as the young woman I first saw last night?

  Shiva, who was just a little distance away, turned around. Fire blazed in her eyes. “Did you say something, Rohini Aunty?”

  She asked, slowly.

  ‘Rohini Aunty’s’ eyes almost popped out of her head. It made her look like a big fat ugly toad. Suited her down to the ground, if I do say so myself. The reactions of the women beside her were just as dramatic. Some of their eyes narrowed. Others started whispering furiously to one another. I felt no urge to eavesdrop on those conversations. The poisonous spite could be smelt from a mile away.

  “I was just saying that it was good to see you outside.” Rohini Aunty said sweetly. “It’s been two months hasn’t it? That’s plenty of time to get over a divorce.” Divorce! Shockwaves shot through me in quick succession. So that was it. The mysterious Nandan I’ve been hearing a lot about had once been Shiva’s husband. I remembered Shiva’s words to her father.

  But that’s different isn’t it? Everything’s different for him. Hmm…That was a thing to think about. Really…Two sets of rules for Shiva and her husband. Not fair if you ask me. We don’t have stupid stuff like that in the spirit world.

  “What do you know about divorce, Rohini Aunty?”

  Shiva’s voice was cool and…dangerous. If someone spoke to me that way, I wouldn’t have dared reply. I would meekly shake my head and walk away. But Rohini Aunty was not me and she didn’t understand the most basic rule when dealing with someone as bitter and frustrated as Shiva – Don’t poke their wounds. They’’ll turn blue in face and go up in smoke if you do. She bit her lower lip (rather like a spoilt child) and said in a drawling voice.

  “I know all about divorce my dear girl. I know that immature young women
, like you are the cause of it. I also know that you lot are too bossy, too cocksure to knuckle down under family life.”

  Shiva laughed softly.

  “Is that so? Then I wonder why you’re not in your own home right now.”

  Rohini Aunty made an explosive noise and opened her mouth to speak again. But Shiva, fortunately decided that enough was enough and walked away, her ears closed to the loud conversation that started behind her.

  “WHAT A GIRL!”

  “I don’t wonder her husband got rid of her.”

  “And look at her all dressed up as id she’s off to a party…What kind of woman would do such a thing!” I gave Shiva a gentle push to urge her forward. What the hell kind of place was this! And they were woman too. They should have understood the grief Shiva felt. Horrid! I knew that some humans were catty but really! Cats would be ashamed if someone called these kinds of people catty.

  The name of the place was waiting for me around the corner. On a huge flux board was some kind of advertisement. At the right hand corner, in thick black letters were written – Kerala.

  It was a beautiful place, no doubt. All trees, bird songs and flowers. The kind of place that would have delighted a special breed of humans called poets. How can a place that has people like those woman in it remain so calm, pretty and peaceful? Nature couldn’t take that kind of toxicity could it?

  More people stared as Shivani reached a rather busy road. A group of men standing around a little street shop leered and whispered among themselves. A particularly unpleasant looking one, dressed in gaudy clothes stepped away from the others and approached Shivani, a malicious gleam in his eyes.

  “Out again, are we? Where are you off to?” Shivani stopped as though she was shot. It was perfectly clear, to me at least, that she knew this man and they had, at some time, exchanged unpleasant words to each other. Her eyes turned a fiery red as she faced the despicable bit of human thrash in front of her.

 

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