It was then that Shivani broke down completely. Tears streamed down her eyes as she let out one loud scream. Then she leaned on her mother’s shoulder and wept like a child. Even then, the woman didn’t speak. She simply patted her daughter on the back and said.
“Cry all you want…Till you want to stop.” I don’t know how long it went on. Worry flooded the room, infusing it with a heavy scent that forced me out. Of all houses in the world, I had to be stuck here. With Shivani and her…her incompatible family.
Suddenly, there was the sound of an approaching car. I stood up abruptly, rather like an action heroine ready to fight. The man was back (he sure was quick) and his arrival meant only one thing- trouble.
I needn’t have bothered. He looked so contrite when he walked in, hardly the raging rhino who stormed out earlier. I flopped down again, feeling rather sick and tired. If this kind of thing happened here every day, I had my work cut out. No wonder Shiva’s mother looked so frail and old. Anyone would look a bit down if their house transformed into a wrestling ring every other day.
“Devi…” His voice was barely a whisper. No one, expect me would have possibly heard it. Naturally, there was not even a little bit of noise from Shiva’s bedroom. He waited near the front door for a while and then climbed swiftly up the stairs.
The moment he was up, I heard voices in Shiva’s room. In another minute her mother came out, face impassioned as ever. She gazed at the stairs for a while and rushed into the kitchen. Once again I felt a mixture of contempt and pity bubbling inside me. After everything that happened a while ago, how could she…Was she perhaps a hypnotized being? Programmed to behave in a specific way? Rush into the kitchen, no matter what he does. Have a meal ready?
Sure enough, when the woman came out she was carrying a tray with a glass full of some coloured drink and a sandwich. Balancing it delicately, she trotted up the stairs. “You didn’t have tea? I brought…” I heard her say softly. I have to say I stamped my feet at that. Why had he missed his tea? His wife may have forgotten but I remembered quite well. And I’ll say he deserved it.
Shiva came out of the room too, shaken and tearful. She stared at the stairs disbelievingly for a moment and went back. I thought I heard her murmur something remarkably like “Hell!”
BANG!!!!!
I started at the sound of the crash. For a moment I stood stunned, staring at Shiva’s room. What had happened? I swished in, my form shaking all over. Just as I reached the door, a song burst from the inside, taking me completely by surprise. A song following a crash? That has to be the greatest violation of logic and reason.
I’m alone…so alone.
I’ve always been alone.
I’m alone… all alone.
I’ve never known it in the light.
One day…My light went out… and now I know it’s true
I’m alone…so alone…all alone.
Was it me or was something about that song a bit off? I mean…A bright, ‘too full of myself’ voice yoked with sad, melancholic lyrics. The singer hardly knew what the song was about..
Speaking about the singer…I knew that voice! The voice of the one human being who impressed me in this chaotic world. The last voice I would have associated with vanity, conceit or arrogance.
I could see Shiva in the dark, staring round eyed at something on the floor. “Jacob…”
She whispered as I moved closer. Something silver glinted at me in the dim light. A radio…A radio that was singing in Jacob’s voice.
“Stop! Just…”
A choked sound escaped Shiva’s lips. In one swift movement, she kicked at it, rendering it dumb.
“I’m alone…That’s just……” She sobbed. “That’s just the goddamn truth!” Then she flung herself on the bed. I could smell the salty tears soaking her pillow. The fiery red setting sun disappeared. Darkness engulfed the world. I scanned the sky for some sign of the moon. It wasn’t there. Stars were few. I could barely make out five. A cool wind embraced me through the open window, hissing a soft tune of its own. Something about it made me want to weep like a human…And pray for a lightning bolt of goodness to light up the dark brooding earth.
CHAPTER 6
When morning came, I was sitting on the window sill in Shivani’s bedroom, still gazing outside. Had I really sat there all night! I must have. I distinctly remember scanning the sky for stars.
A grunt came from somewhere inside a thick woolen blanket. Just Shivani… preparing to wake up. It was a wonder she slept after the things she had gone through. Well…maybe the human body had a way for shutting down unconsciously to prevent ‘‘overheating’ of the brain.
The blanket was thrown back and a head full of matted, tangled hair peeped through. A stifled yawn followed. I threw myself out of the room as Shiva got out of bed. Let her get ready for the day, hopefully just to stay home. I really wasn’t in the mood for one dozen encounters and family rows.
“Devi…” A crisp curt voice, all unemotional and business-like, called out from the top of the stairs. I sat down on one of the chairs, scanning the corners of the dining room for any sign of the woman. She had been up since dawn, I knew, from the lights in the kitchen and the steady flow of water from the sink and the shower.
“I’ll be there in a minute!”
As expected, Devi’s obedient, meek voice answered. It annoyed me as always. She didn’t have to be such a slave…She didn’’t have to make herself so humble. The next moment she was rushing out of the kitchen, with a fully loaded food tray. I shook myself in exasperation. Why couldn’t he come along and eat in the dining room. Why did he have to have the woman trotting behind him like a robot, all ready to do his bidding?
Shiva came out of the room at just about the time her mother climbed the second set of stairs. This time she was dressed like Shiva not some face painted fashion model. She looked much better for it too. Her yellow salwar suited her rosy complexion and added a much needed radiance to her face. The simple gold earrings and the gold chain devoid of any burden of intricacy had the delicate charm of the village. More than anything the attire made her look like an outsider in her own home. An oddity in the palatial house that had ‘modern’ written all over it.
I thought she might call out to either her Mom or Dad to announce she was going out again but she didn’t. She simply sank down on one of the chairs around the dining table and rested her head on her hands, her red eyes staring straight ahead. Heavy footsteps came from above, announcing someone coming down the stairs. Shiva didn’t look up. Not even when her Dad came stamping down and stood right in front of her.
“I’m going to meet Nandan’s father. To apologize to him for you messing up his son’s engagement party. You were emotionally disturbed yesterday or you wouldn’t have behaved the way you did. I think he’ll understand.”
“Yes…you tell him that…”
Shiva whispered, still not meeting her father’s eyes. I rushed to her and put an arm around her. Hell! Someone needed to be there for her. Did her father, who had known her since the day she was born, realize the inner turmoil, the sea of raging emotions in her daughter’s heart? The pain he was causing her by referring to her as ‘emotionally disturbed’? I thought not. Humans could not sense the emotions in the way we could. I, for one, wish they had been gifted with that power. Could have spared them a lot of heartaches, guilts and regrets.
He trotted off to the car and started it. I followed quickly. I had already passed up a golden opportunity to find Nandan’s home. I wasn’t going to do that a second time. And despite my belief that Nandan was the one Shivani wanted to suffer and the overwhelming evidence to support it, I felt a certain curiosity to know the whole story. Preferably before I acted. Humans may not care much about persecuting innocent people or senseless outbursts but I did. Much as I hated the arrogant, insensitive Nandan and the spoilt Anansuya, I didn’t want to make a dreadful mistake and hurt the wrong person.
The car was a heaven of luxury. The soft seat felt vel
vety against my body as I stretched out in the back, letting the brand-new air inside wash over me. It had a rather cool stereo system, which Shiva’s father was switched on the moment he entered. It was blasting out a song which was quite unlike the one I heard on the radio. Heavy drums, sparking electric guitar……Not exactly the kind of thing I liked, but hey, the car was his and he did look like the guy who appreciated violent rhythms hazardous to both spirit and human ears.
The building the car stopped by was a structure was sufficient to occupy an army. A hyper-modern structure boasting of the finest of construction materials and infused with the best beauty architecture could provide. Once glance at it convinced me why Shiva’s father gave his daughter away to this family. They were certainly the kind of people above Shiva’’s family in money and status. From what I knew of human beings, they were always interested in looking above them – more money, more power, more connections…
A bell sounded somewhere in the house, as Shiva’s father pressed a sparkling silver switch. There were the sound of hurrying footsteps and the door was opened. Opened by a rather curious individual.
He was lean, tall and dapper, dressed in an impeccably clean black suit. A smile was firmly pasted on his round face.
“Welcome Mr. Raghunath. The master is waiting for you.” Ah! Politeness personified! The perfect servant, trained to give the perfect welcome! I couldn’t help staring at him for a while. Polished though his manners were, excellent though his accent was there was an artificiality about him that left a nasty taste in my mouth. I couldn’t help thinking about Dan, Jacob’s trusted friend and caretaker…He was clearly beneath Jacob’s wealth, position and fame. His manners weren’t perfect. But still…I’d rather have him than this man who probably wasn’t addressed by name by the family.
“I suppose he’s in his study?”
“Yes, sir.”
They walked in silence up a wide staircase, leading to a narrow hallway. At the end of a hallway, in a rather dark corner was a sturdy wooden door. “Mr. Raghunath is here, sir.”
The servant said, knocking on the door smartly.
There was the sound of furniture moving and things being put away. A sharp voice called out.
“Yes. Tell him to come in.” I’ve had a bit too many surprises, right from the beginning of my adventures on earth, but the one I received when the wooden door was swung open was the greatest. On the other side of the room, by the side of a tinted glass window was a huge framed photograph I hadn’t expected to be there. Not after the engagement.
I drifted in ahead of Mr. Raghunath so I could get a closer look. It was certainly the photograph of Nandan’s engagement party (a red banner proclaimed it). But the bride, beaming at his side wasn’t Anasuya at all. It was Shivani.
Mr. Raghunath was as surprised as I was by the sight of the photograph. He gazed at it for a few minutes before speaking to Nandan’s father, who was seated at a huge ornate office desk.
“You…You didn’t take this down?”
The grey-haired man, who didn’t make much of an impression me at the engagement party shifted a bit in his seat before he answered. “No.”
Shiva’s father’s eyes asked the question “Why?” without words.
“I welcomed a girl some years ago into my home as my son’s wife. She was a good hearted, loyal girl who generously gave out kindness and affection without demanding it back. Give me one good reason why I should replace her in my heart as a daughter-in law?”
“Your son is getting married again.”
Raghunath said awkwardly.
Nandan’s father leaned back against his chair, letting out a sigh.
“I tried to talk him out of it.”
Shiva’s father stared at him incredulously.
“What?”
“The girl…his high school sweetheart or so he says…”
Nandan’s father bit his lip as though he was contemplating a particularly nasty disease. “I don’t think she did him any good in high school and I don’’t think she would do him any good as a wife.”
“She seems a nice enough girl. I saw their picture in the newspaper.”
“She looks nice alright.” said Nandan’s father drily.
I looked at the unimpressive man with a new respect. I saw the shrewd twinkle in his dull eyes and the typical businessman sharpness in his attitude. As seconds ticked off in an antique grandfather clock, an uncomfortable silence crept into the room. Shiva’s Dad turned away from his friend and stared out of the glass window, till it grew too much for him.
“Er…You said you wanted to talk to me? If it’s about Shiva…I’’m sorry…” I laughed till I choked. Cool! Where was the man who played Lord at home and tossed around his wife and daughter as if they were rag dolls? I guess some people did not mind stooping to any level when their situation demanded it.
Nandan’s father held up an impatient hand.
“Of course it’s about Shiva. I told you so one the phone, Raghu.”
“I’m sorry… I apologize for…”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything.”
Raghunath’s eyes widened.
“Er…I…”
“What Shiva did was perfectly, I repeat, perfectly understandable.”
Nandan’s father got up and walked up to Raghunath.
“I know you are angry at my son. I know you are trying hard not to show it.”
I had a good laugh at that. Caring Dad indeed! How naïve some humans are. They try to do good and believe that the entire human race is infused with kindness, selflessness blah blah blah. Most of them learn the truth the hard way. They realize eventually that people are not good or kind to them.
“No… I am not angry at Nandan.” Shiva’s father said slowly. ““He made the right choice. Got rid of a girl who wasn’t right for him.”
Whatever Nandan’s Dad expected (tears, anger…) it wasn’t those calm words. My astonishment and disbelief was reflected on his face.
“What!”
“Shivani wasn’t the right kind of woman for him. Both of them would be happier if they’re away from each other.” “What on earth are you…”
“I know what it feels like. Trust me. It’s better this way. For both of them.” “Raghu…Do you know what he told your daughter about the child?” Nandan’s father paced the room rapidly. His breathing came in short heavy bursts.
“He called his child a piece of flesh dammit!”
“It was just that, wasn’t it? In the end…that was all it was.”
Nandan’s father turned around. His tired eyes glared fiercely at Raghunath. “Do think about what you are saying.”
Shiva’s father scoffed.
“Don’t expect me to have much sympathy with a thing that would have only been a burden to my daughter after the divorce.”
“RAGHU!!!”
The exclamation echoed loud and clear in the office room. Someone came running The exclamation echoed loud and clear in the office room. Someone came running from the hall and knocked on the door.
“Is everything all right, sir?”
Nandan’s father clenched his fists for a minute and composed himself, the anger slowly draining from his face. “Yes. It’s fine.”
The footsteps retreated. Nandan’s father faced Raghunath again.
“I’m sorry.” He said in a tight voice.
Raghunath didn’t respond. He just kept staring absently into a distance.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Nandan’s Dad continued quickly in an apologetic tone. “I wanted to talk to you about Shiva and…” “You’ve had a pretty long prologue. Get to the point.”
Nandan’s father sank down on his chair, a sigh escaping his dry lips.
“The point is…you are too hard on Shivani. I’m not severing any ties – both business and personal- with you based on what happened between our kids. She’s been through hell and you ought to be there for her not…”
“You seem dead set on painting her int
o the classic poor ill-treated victim.” “Would you please hear me out?”
“Not if you go on and on about how bad my daughter’s situation is. I can see that for myself, thank you.” I was repulsed by his outright callousness and offhanded approach to his daughter’s plight. What kind of a man was this? No love…No warmth…Everything about him felt so cold. Like a stone statue.
Nandan’s father stood up, his hands shaking, his face a deep red. I expected another angry outburst but it didn’t come. His voice was as calm as it could be when he spoke.
“Just get out of my face.”
Shivani’s father stared deep into his friend’s eyes. I thought he looked pretty shaken up.
“She has too many defenders.”
He murmured before he strode out of the door. I didn’t follow him partly because I was too disgusted with him and partly because I wanted to take a tour of Nandan’s house. You know…To fill in the missing parts of Shivani’’s story. She was there once, in this grand house, just as out of place here as in her own home.
Nandan’s bedroom, where the leftovers of Shiva’s presence must surely linger, seemed like the best place to start. It took a bit of flying around the hallways to get there. Ah! The perils of having a huge house. I don’t think a miles walk from the bedroom to the kitchen is worth any admiration from nosy neighbours.
The best thing about Nandan’s room was its immaculate neatness and perfect orderliness. Right from the neatly made bed (with all corners tucked in properly) to the scrubbed and polished floor. Nandan himself, was all dressed up too, unlike a man spending a day in his own home. His voice was charming and suave as he talked rapidly into a high end cellphone.
“Yes Anu…I know…But it doesn’t matter…….” Oh yes, I know eavesdropping is pretty bad especially when you are attempting to nose into a romantic conversation but the temptation was too much to resist. I just had to know the after effects of the disastrous engagement party.
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