“So…What does it mean?”
“The variations in people’s voices and the way people say certain things.”
“Once again something Sherlock would know.” Shivani laughed. “Are you sure you are not a descendant?”
“You call yourself a fan?” asked Jacob in mock indignation. “Sherlock Holmes and Descendants…Two words that never go together.”
“Can you two talk in human language rather than bookenese?” Dan shook his head. “Am I supposed to be left out in the cold?”
The three of them laughed. They roamed around the library for a while after that engaging in conversation. “So…what are you doing here again so soon?” Shiva asked as they stopped by the poetry section. “Did you guys pull an all nighter or something? To finish all those poetry section. “Did you guys pull an all nighter or something? To finish all thoseVIBGYOR books so soon?”
Dan shuddered. “Please refrain from giving him ideas.” He laughed.
“I wanted to read some poetry.” Said Jacob at the same time. “It’s been a while…” “Hmm…Poetry…There’s Wordsworth…Keats…Shelly…Larkin…”
She went on to recite almost twenty more names without even looking at the books around. Goldy scratched her head. “Who makes up these names? And why does she know them by heart?” “The fact that she is an English major may have something to do with it.” “Since you know all these names…why don’t you pick one for us?”
It was evident that Jacob was as amused as us.
Dan heaved an audible sigh of relief. “He says I always pick the most terrible ones.”
Shivani walked around for a while, opening a book or two every few minutes. She returned to them with one of the thinnest books in the entire library. “Shall I read you my selection?”
“Go on…” said Jacob.”
Shivani’s read out a poem by someone called Keats. Something about a nightingale. It was sad yet…so beautiful. One had to admire the person who wrote it yet wonder if he was ever happy. The girl made it so alive…At some points I even wondered if she was about to cry.
“I remember learning it in high school.” Jacob said when she was done. “I couldn’t understand it at all…not then. All I remember doing is…cursing him for writing a difficult poem.”
“And now?” “I know exactly what it means. Why he became so entranced with the nightingale’s song…” He smiled. “There are so many things one takes for granted…The little things…One never realizes how precious they are till they slip away forever…”
“When I’ve read his poems…” Shiva said thoughtfully. “It’s odd but I’ve always pictured a bird…You know…a bird singing at the top of his voice…Then… someone…It’s just a hand…comes and cuts his throat with a knife…He kept singing till the last breath…Even with his throat cut and bleeding…”
“That’s morbid!” Dan exclaimed.
Shiva laughed. “I know it is…It’s just this image I’ve had ever since I learned about him…Of course I never told anyone…I was already the bookworm who sits alone in the classroom during recess…I didn’t particularly want them to think I was a freak.”
Suddenly, she went red. I think she finally realized that she had said too much. “The nerd in highschool were you?
Jacob smiled. “Smart kid who got picked on?”
“Do you really want me…an english major…to lecture you about stereotyping?” Shivani said with an amused grin. “I was…in one sentence…A loner with a fluctuating smart meter.”
“Interesting choice of words…Top of the language class were you?” “The danger of stereotyping…” Shiva comically shook her head “My talent, for the lack of a better word, didn’t kick in till I was out of highschool. I may have found language easy most of the time but…sometimes I couldn’t just think at all and exam papers became a disaster…How many times have I stared at them and wondered what the hell was wrong with me…thinking that I could do better…”Shiva paused. I was pretty sure there were tears in her eyes. Buy why though? I mean…Did it matter so much? Now?
Shiva sighed. “You must think me silly with all the sad poor-me talk about highschool…I know it shouldn’t matter so much…But that was when everything started…That hell…yes… you are right Jacob…It was hell…All it gave me was a bunch of insecurities…You know…for a while I forget…no…I couldn’t see that not everyone were jerks like my former classmates…I began to think the worst of everyone…I began to think that no one liked me or would ever like me…I felt like I was a useless worthless piece of garbage…I believed everything he said to my face.
“He?” asked a bemused Dan. “Who the heck said such horrible things to your face?” “It was your husband wasn’t it? He went to the same highschool…”
Shiva started at Jacob’s kind voice. Shock spread over every inch of her face, presumably at the things she just blurted out.
“What in the world…I…” She stammered. “I wasn’t…I didn’t…”
“Then we won’t discuss it anymore.” Said Jacob softly. “Er…besides…I don’t think the librarian is going to tolerate our chattering anymore…Right, Dan?” “Er?” Dan looked confused for a moment. Then, understanding flashed on his face. “Yes…I think we’d better carry on our conversation outside.”
“That was quite a load of information.”
I nodded without really hearing. Shiva’s version of ‘High School Days’ had given me a better grasp on the situation. A loner with a fluctuating smart meter…Why did that phrase conjure images of a girl surrounded by a dark faceless group shouting names? Why did I feel that the group would boo her if she so much as opened her mouth? Even after she broke free of that group it still haunted her…She didn’t want to speak because she would be booed down…She couldn’t believe that there were people without darkness…People who would understand…She forgot to trust…
When we followed them, they were already quite far ahead. Shiva and Dan were pushing the wheelchair by one hand while talking. I couldn’t see Jacob’s face but the cheerfulness in the air that I smelled surely came from him. I could sense the smile…I was about to say that to Goldy when a familiar thing caught my eye. It was a certain luxury house of a car parked a little away from the three of them. Through the glass on the driver’s side window I saw him. The handsome face hiding the most ugly kind of arrogance. The heat I felt that day still emanated from him as his eyes fixed on Shivani.
“Mr. Vaishnav Sachidanand…” Goldy muttered. “What is he doing…” His hands held up a camera. Several clicks later the car started up again and he was gone. The heat lingered behind…suffocating and unpleasant. My headache started up again as the car disappeared around the corner.
“What in the world did he mean by taking photographs of them on the street?” Goldy screwed up her face. “Doesn’t he have anything better to do?”
I didn’t know that either. All I felt was…It was not good. Not good at all. As we followed them, we saw the car several times and also the familiar clicks of the camera. The car stopped in front of the apartment as they went in and he got out. “I see…”
The man simply stood there, a lopsided smile on his face. Intense hatred blazed in his eyes.
CHAPTER 18
“Well hello there, Shivani…I thought it was you…you know playing nurse to some invalid.” The scene that greeted us when we jumped in through the window was not pretty. There was Shivani, her eyes all wide and shocked and lips looking as if they were sealed with especially powerful glue. And there was Vaishnav Sachidanand, his handsome face lit up with an extremely smug smile.
“If you don’t mind, why don’t you introduce me to your friends?”
“I don’t remember inviting you to follow me around.”
Ah! The lips were unstuck and the icy cool voice poured out.
Mr. Vaishnav Sachidanand laughed. A cold cruel laugh that refused to travel up to his eyes.
“I just saw you and thought we’d have an amiable talk. You know…we kind
of parted on less than amiable terms.”
“The ‘friend’ meter isn’t going to increase if you follow me around and barge into my friend’s apartment.”
“Sorry about that.” He said calmly. “But you see…I didn’t actually barge into your friend’s apartment. I barged into my friend’s apartment.”
“WHAT!” Goldy jumped once in the air and stared at Dan and Jacob. It was like watching a paused movie. Dan stood just outside the kitchen, the tray shaking in his hand. Jacob eyes stared right ahead, unblinking as his fingertips trembled.
“Vaishnav…” “Why Jacob! It’s lovely to see you. We haven’t run into each other after that accident, did we? If I didn’t see you with this lovely lady here…I wouldn’t even have known you moved in here.”
He walked in and seated himself on the couch.
“Laya visited you, didn’t she? On the night she died?”
“She…”
Jacob turned away from him, covering his face with one hand. “No…”
“Really? I should have though she would…Jacob Lewis…The brightest star of the music industry…She had all your albums. Great fan she was. And you two became friends didn’t you…after I introduced her to you after our marriage?”
I could hear Jacob’s hoarse breaths as he struggled to keep his head turned away. “Yes…She was a good woman.”
“Of course…I’m sure you thought so…then.”
“Why in the world have you come back? And for what reason are you spouting all these depressing flashbacks?”
Dan had found his voice. “You wouldn’t like your friend to hear about this would you? About how you stole another man’s wife behind his back. And refused to admit it when the said man, who also happened to be a friend of yours, suspected his own brother of the terrible deed and ended up hating him…”
“If you are done spouting nonsense…I’d advise you to leave.” Dan gritted his teeth. “You have quite a lot of wrong ideas in that head of yours and I don’t think you’ll ever correct them.”
“Why should I? When I know in the bottom of my heart that what I believe is the truth?” Vaishnav got up smiling. “You know…you remind me of an old loyal mongrel…Cannot bear even to hear the slightest ill of his master…”
For a moment it looked like Dan would explode. His bright red face swelled up and there was a crack of knuckles. But a voice without the slightest trace of anger in it interrupted.
“I can see why my Dad thought you’d make a good husband. Just what I’d like…A suspicious mind and a bad attitude. Bonus points for not caring two hoots about how others feel. Well…I think you’ve given me an adequate display of your virtues.”
“I agree with her.” Said Goldy. “Not even worthy to be admitted into ‘acquaintance’ department.” “And you…” Vaishnav smiled. “You have no idea how pleased I was to see that we have a mutual friend…Ah! Old friendships…We can always find ways to…you know…”
“And I don’t like his smile.” Goldy said. “It’s…um…you know…”
“You don’t have to adopt his smooth way of talking to prove you don’t like him…you know…” “Look who’s talking…” Goldy said wearily as Vaishnav Sachidanand strode out of “Look who’s talking…” Goldy said wearily as Vaishnav Sachidanand strode out ofVIBGYOR the room. He stopped at the doorway and turned back.
“I’ve always disapproved of coincidences in books…you know…But I’ve changed my mind. They aren’t all that bad.” Jacob lips moved just as the door slammed shut.
“THE SCOUNDREL!”
Both Dan and Shiva started at this outburst and stared at him incredulously. “I know that all the things he said are not true…” said Dan softly.
“Of course…” said Shivani. “I have only met him two times counting this one and… He doesn’t strike me as a someone who can be trusted.” “Murderer…The…” Jacob clenched his fists. “He is a goddamn murderer!” All too suddenly the anger disappeared from his face to replaced by weariness. “If only I’ve listened…If only I…If only I cared…”
“Jacob? What are you talking about?” Dan asked. “Do you…”
“She told me…God…I should have listened! I should have helped her…I…And I didn’t! I…I didn’t even care enough to listen properly…”
“Her?” Shiva asked. “You…You don’t mean his wife, do you?”
“Laya…” Jacob murmured, staring at the ground. “She was…She was from a family every bit as rich as his. A smart charming woman. And that was the problem.” “Excuse me?” asked Dan, bemused. “What was the problem, exactly?” “He didn’t want someone smart.” Jacob sighed. “He despised her friendliness…Her cheerfulness and her ability to quickly make friends. He became…to put it bluntly… He became suspicious. And it grew worse everyday. His brother, who had been abroad for studies, came back and that’s when everything turned upside down. He was always jealous of his brother…I’ve felt it long before all the terrible events took place.” He paused, wiping sweat off his face.
I expected Shiva or Dan to put in some questions but they didn’t. They remained still
- two statues with horror carved on their faces. “I don’t know when she realized who he was…or even if she had gone to others, her family most probably, for help and had been turned down…But one day she came to me. I still remember that day…Her coming in running….She was terrified…You could see it in her eyes and…She nearly went down on her knees and wept….begged me to help her…”
“And you turned her down!” Shivani exclaimed. “H…Why?”
“I didn’t know what to do. Besides, at that time…I didn’t want to get caught up in another person’s problems. Yes…I was horrible. You can tell me so to my face.” Shiva stared at him for one moment and sighed. “What did you tell her?” “I told her, not too rudely, that I can’t get between their family issues and…it would be better if she went to her family. To this day…I don’t know why she didn’t.” “If her Dad and Mom were anything like mine…I can quite see why she didn’t.” said Shiva, sadly. “As for her friends…Maybe she had gone to them and was met with the same response.”
“But…But..” Said Dan. “Surely someone must have heard her out…Someone must have been kind and understanding…”
How like a child his voice was…Someone must have listened. He just didn’t want to accept it. Sometimes no one listens. Sometimes you are just so alone. “She was so incoherent. Couldn’t even complete a sentence…Went on weeping… Begging to help her…Kept on telling me again and again that he would kill her…I just didn’t know what to do…”
“When no one would help her she must have gone off on her own.” Shiva said. “That must be why she ended up in the hotel room.” “When I heard the news of her murder I couldn’t believe it…No…No…It was better to believe the papers were lying. It was better to hide our meeting from the police. It was so much easier to pretend that I knew nothing…”
“A testimony like that would have gotten him a conviction. I read so in the paper. The only reason the case fell apart was…” “No one confirmed her fear of her husband.” Jacob sighed. “Ever since I’ve been in this wheelchair the guilt’s been eating me from the inside…I feel I should have said something and…”
His eyes filled with tears. They slowly trickled down his cheeks. “How could I have been so selfish? How could I have believed it was better not get mixed up in the trial…”
“You are not the only one.” Dan said hotly. “What about her parents, her relations and her friends? I don’t see why you have to think that it was all your fault…” “How does that change the truth? If I had listened…If I had helped her…Or if I had told the police everything I knew…” “Jacob…It can’t be helped anymore. You can’t change what happened.” Shiva said “Jacob…It can’t be helped anymore. You can’t change what happened.” Shiva saidVIBGYOR firmly. “All you can do is promise yourself you would never do such a thing again.”
“That is exactly the pr
oblem, Shivani…If I had never been in that accident…If I had never lost my eyes and legs…I would have done the same thing again and again. I would have closed my eyes and ears a thousand times to matters that didn’t concern me. I hate to think that…I hate to think that the only reason I stopped being selfish is because I got broken. Just because I didn’t want to think about myself anymore…”
There was silence after this little speech. Shiva and Dan kept glancing at each other every other second, each urging the other to say something. Even an insanely ‘obvious’ comment from Goldy, which I would have expected in a moment like this, never came. She too kept on looking at the group, waiting for the spell of silence to break.
“Jacob…What exactly did that man tell you that day? When he came to visit you at the hospital?” It was Dan who broke the silence, with a perfectly calm question. To be honest, what I expected of him was “That’s so no true!”. Not a reasonable question in the calmest voice imaginable.
“He had to find someone else to blame.” Said Jacob. “And that’s exactly what he did.”
“Er?” Both Dan and Shivani glanced at each other, confused. “You know…His brother was obviously innocent. He had no such relation with his sister in law. So…What’s the obvious question that would occur next to a suspicious Othello?”
“If not my brother…” Shiva’s voice was shaking as she spoke. “Then who?” “No way!!!!!!!!!” Dan exclaimed. “He didn’t accuse you of being his wife’s lover did he?”
“Dan, my man…Is it really that surprising?”
It was Goldy who responded to that. “Guess not. Most obvious thing in the world… Er…And who in the world is Othello?”
“Do you really want to spend time reviewing a book? And a particularly dark one as that?”
It took fifteen minutes to narrate Othello’s story and I’m sure Goldy regretted ever asking me about it by the time I finished.
“I guess I have to give the writer credit…He knew exactly what he was talking about…didn’t he? But you know…I don’t care much for live versions of books.” “I don’t think anybody would. If…” The shrill ring of a cellphone interrupted me. I looked immediately at Shivani, half expecting her to pick up her cellphone and start yelling to it(Ok..maybe not yelling). But it turned out that Dan was the one who fished out his phone from his pocket and blurted out a nervous hello. Whatever he heard at the other end turned him paper white.
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