“Yes. What’s wrong?” Caitlyn asked, concerned. She pushed her reading glasses on top of her head as soon as she noticed the tears pooling in Vic’s eyes.
Vic sniffed. “Just need to be around a friend right now, that’s all.”
Caitlyn waved Vic inside and ushered her to the living room, then turned to leave.
Vic called out to Caitlyn from behind. “Where’re you going?”
“I’ll be right back,” Caitlyn advised, smiling.
Weary from emotions, Vic plopped down on the long snow-white couch in the spacious room and released a long exhale.
“Close your eyes,” Caitlyn announced a few moments later, walking back into the living room.
“Why?”
“Are they closed?”
Vic sighed. “Yes.”
Vic heard two soft thuds against the coffee table and opened her eyes. Her gaze fell on the unspoken symbol of communication she and Caitlyn had used with each other for eighteen years, the signal they both knew was the indication for them to discuss anything openly—a pint of Rocky Road ice cream with two spoons stuck in the middle and a box of tissue. She burst into tears.
Caitlyn didn’t utter a word. She sat next to Vic and reaching over, grabbed her best friend’s hand and held it until her tears finally ceased.
Once Vic regained her composure, she shared with Caitlyn the real reason for her divorce and the circumstances involved in seeing Ron at the hospital the previous day.
“Sweetheart,” Caitlyn uttered softly as they shared a sisterly embrace, “why didn’t you tell me this before now?”
Vic shrugged. “I don’t know. I-I guess I was too ashamed for being a fool for not knowing that I was marrying a man who was gay.”
Caitlyn leaned back, placing her hands on Vic’s shoulders. “You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and there’s no reason to blame yourself.”
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t,” Caitlyn said adamantly.
“God, how could I have not known,” Vic uttered with disgust.
“Vic, when I first met Cole,” Caitlyn said, referring to her ex-boyfriend, “I had no why of knowing he’d turn out to be a stalker. I ran from him for three years, but I never let myself feel guilty for his issues.”
Vic looked at Caitlyn as the impact of her words sank in, but didn’t say anything.
“Does A.J. know?”
Vic nodded.
“That’s all that matters,” Caitlyn said with assurance.
Vic folded her arms across her chest and focused on the wall straight ahead.
Caitlyn was on her feet in an instant. “Wait here.” A few moments later, she returned with a folder and held it out to Vic. “Read this.”
Vic leafed through the pages in the binder and met Caitlyn’s gaze with her mouth wide open. “You mean…”
“Yes,” Caitlyn nodded. “Sweetheart, you’re not alone in this.”
Vic’s attention was drawn once again to the file containing a proposal submitted to BF Automotive’s philanthropy foundation, which Caitlyn oversaw, from a group seeking funding to form an Oakland-based chapter of a national organization, whose members, like her, had experienced the pain of finding out that their spouse was either gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
“Oh, my God,” Vic whispered.
Caitlyn sat next to Vic. “I got their request for support a few weeks ago.” She reached out and folded Vic’s hand inside hers. “Nothing beats talking to someone who’s been in the same situation. Call them.”
Vic nodded.
“Finding out about Ron has kept you from loving A.J., hasn’t it?”
Vic remained silent for a long time before she nodded.
“Vic, loving the right man can see you through anything.”
Vic chuckled lightly. “I am so wonderfully jealous of you, you know that, right?”
Caitlyn chuckled back. “Why?”
“You have a husband who adores you and two beautiful babies, that’s why.”
“Except for the marriage certificate, you have the same thing.”
“Do not.”
Caitlyn smiled. “Oh yes you do. You have A.J., Taylor, and Tyler.”
“But—”
“A.J. loves you just as much as Marcel loves me. And you have two beautiful girls. So, you see, there’s no need to be jealous. We’re dead even.”
“I’m scared, Caitlyn,” Vic whispered.
“Scared of what, sweetheart?”
Tears flowed down Vic’s face and she lowered her head. “Scared to risk having my heart broken again.”
With her index finger, Caitlyn gently lifted Vic’s head up. “Do you remember what you told me one day shortly after I met Marcel?”
Vic wiped her face with a tissue. “No, what’d I say?”
“And I quote, ‘Stop trying to analyze everything and figure out where all the pieces will fit. Sometimes you have to step out on nothing but faith. At some point, you’ve got to learn how to trust again. Understand what I’m saying?’ End quote.”
Vic chuckled. “Did I say that?”
Caitlyn nodded. “Verbatim. I was just like you, remember? I was scared to death to admit my feelings for Marcel because of what I’d gone through with Cole, believing that Marcel would end up doing the same thing.”
Vic sucked in a long breath and slowly released it. She felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. All her life, she’d never been one to share her pain with others, but she knew she needed to disclose her hurt to someone who’d been through the same experience. It was a first step in her healing process. She glanced over at the woman who was the sister she’d never had and smiled. Caitlyn hadn’t condemned her for the way she felt nor had she denounced Ron for who he was. She’d done exactly what a friend was supposed to do—be there in the time of need. Her eyes drifted to the carton of ice cream. She kicked off her sandals and placed her feet atop the table. “Well…”
Caitlyn giggled and replicated Vic’s actions as they placed spoonfuls of their favorite treat inside their mouths.
“Stop. You’re eating all the marshmallows again,” Caitlyn fussed.
“I’m not. Hush and eat.” Vic offered a huge grin. “Love you, sweetie.”
Caitlyn grinned back. “Love you, too.”
* * *
Later that afternoon, after Vic left Caitlyn’s estate, she drove to her parents’ home, arriving shortly after three.
Louise sat at the kitchen table with Vic and pushed aside a cup of herbal tea. “Talk to your mama, baby, and tell me what’s wrong. You’re mine, and I know when something’s bothering you.”
Vic shook her head. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”
Louise chuckled and nodded at the table. “Since you were a little girl, any time something made you upset, you’d do just what you’re doing now.”
Vic looked down at the napkin she’d methodically shredded into tiny pieces. It now resembled a mound of confetti. “Sorry.”
“Now, what’s wrong?”
“Baptiste.”
Louise chuckled. “Are the two of y’all still battling like the Hatfields and McCoys?”
“No, and that’s the problem.”
Louise shook her head. “Perhaps I’m running a little slow here today. I don’t understand what the problem is.”
Vic sighed. “Mom, as long as Baptiste and I were at each other’s throat, I had a chance.”
“A chance at what?”
“Not losing my heart to him.”
Louise hitched her brow as a smile surfaced. “And now?”
“I’m in deep doggie do.”
“Do you love him?”
“After Ron, I didn’t think I could love any man again.”
“Why not?” Louise replied in a bewildered tone.
“Because…” And before she knew it, Vic blurted out the real reason for her divorce from Ron.
“I don’t believe that A.J. would ever betray you,” Louise said.
“Sweetheart, look at me.” When Vic didn’t comply right away, Louise spoke more forcefully. “Victoria Louise Bennett, look at me. A.J. loves you.”
“I know,” Vic softly confessed.
Louise gathered Vic’s hands inside hers. “I’ma ask one more question: Do you love him?”
Blinking back unshed tears, Vic nodded. “But…”
“But what, baby?”
“H-How do I get over the hurt, the pain of Ron’s betrayal? How do I learn to forgive?”
Louise smiled. “To answer your first question, you pray. You ought to try it sometimes. It really works. And to answer your second question, you pray some more.”
Vic sniffed and chuckled. “So you’re telling me I need to go to church more often?”
Louise snorted. “Listen, you can move in the church house if you wanna. It won’t help. When you’re faced with a problem, it’s not where you go, it’s Who you go to and what you hear from Him that counts.”
“I’ll never forgive Ron for what he did to me,” Vic said bitterly with her head bowed.
Louise clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth. “You’re getting things a little mixed up, baby.”
Vic’s head snapped up. “Why do you say that?”
“There are two issues you’re dealing with here: betrayal by one man and your love for another.”
Vic shook her head, confused. “I don’t understand the point you’re trying to make, Mom.”
“Didn’t you just sit here and tell me that you love A.J.?”
Vic nodded.
“Baby, you’re denying yourself a chance at happiness with the man you love by always remembering the circumstances that caused another man’s betrayal.”
“What?” Vic cried out incredulously. “Ron was the one who got caught in bed with another man, not me. How can I forgive him again after that?”
Louise nodded. “You’re right. But you share some responsibility, too.”
“What?” Vic cried out.
“Baby, don’t you see, you’ve let your sin—the inability to forgive Ron’s betrayal—rule your life for the last eight years?”
“Have not.”
“Have, too.”
Vic whispered back under her breath, “Have not.”
Louise chuckled. “Vic, you’ve got a heart of gold. You’ll help anybody—give ’em the shirt off your back—but your downfall has always been learning how to forgive.” She chuckled again. “Remember how getting you to turn loose a grudge was the one thing we fought about the most when you were growing up?”
Vic chuckled, too. “I remember. I didn’t speak to Harrison for weeks when he broke my favorite doll.”
Louise nodded. “Umm-hmm. That poor child begged you for two whole months to forgive him.”
“I know,” Vic said, smiling as she brushed back a tear.
“Vic, the past is the past. You’ve got to learn to let go of the hurt, the anger, and move on.”
“But I can’t,” Vic whispered in a choked voice.
“Yes, you can.”
Vic brushed her hands across her face. “How?”
“Let me ask you this. Was A.J. mad at you when he found out you were the one who hit him?”
“No.”
“Did he forgive you?”
“Yes.”
“Case closed.”
“B-But Louise, that was an entirely different situation,” Vic defended.
Louise inclined her head and braced her finger at her temple. “Tell me how it was different. Tell me how your trespass against A.J. is any different from Ron’s sin against you. Go on, tell me. I want to hear this.”
“Mom—”
“Child, don’t let somebody else’s sins make you sin. Besides, you got enough stuff of your own you got to give an account of. Don’t need to add someone else’s drama to the mix.”
“B-But how will I know that I’ve forgiven Ron for all the pain he caused?”
Louise smiled. “You’ll know. Trust me.”
“How?”
Louise grabbed Vic’s hands in hers. “Baby, when you can look Ron straight in the eye, think back on all the unhappiness he caused, and wish him well, you’ve forgiven him.”
Vic shook her head in amazement.
Louise smiled again. “Listen, I’m not sitting here telling you that A.J.’s a saint—no one is. Hell, if he ever decided to run around on you, it would be with a woman, not a man. But I don’t believe you even have to worry about another woman.”
“How can you be so sure?” Vic asked between sniffles.
“Anytime a man looks at a woman the way that man looks at you, can’t tell me he’d ever stray.”
Vic stared at her mother for a long time as the impact of what she’d said slowly sank in and admitted that she hadn’t thought about it from that perspective before. For eight years, she’d been scared of another man’s betrayal. It had been betrayal, not love, that had kept her from giving her heart to Baptiste.
Vic sighed. “I’m scared, Mom.”
“I know you are, baby, and you’re also having a tough time moving out of that safety zone of yours.”
“But Mom—”
“No buts.”
“I can’t—”
“Yes, you can.”
“What if—”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Vic giggled. “Mom, you don’t even know what I was getting ready to say.”
Louise giggled, too. “Okay, what were you going to say?”
“It’s been so long since I’ve been with someone, I don’t know…”
Louise inched up her brow. “Mean to tell me you been living in the man’s house all this time and y’all ain’t—”
Even though she and her mother had always openly discussed everything, especially sex, memory of A.J.’s head cradled between her legs as well as the things he’d done while he was there made her blush. He’d evoked feelings within her that made her tighten her thighs together with the agonizing need for him to do it again. “Sort of.”
Louise smiled, nodding. “I see. A few appetizers, but no entrée. How’s his ribs doing?”
“Much better.”
“That’s good. He can move around now, right?”
Vic nodded.
Louise winked. “The two of ya’ll have been playing. ’Bout time you help the man get on his back, side, or whatever other position you decide to come up with and get to the real thing.”
“Mom,” Vic shrieked, mortified.
“What?” Louise replied innocently. “I’m telling the truth. Your mama’s sixty, not dead.” Looking off in the distance, she mumbled, “Lord, I hope that child has taken a CPR refresher course.”
Stunned, Vic asked, “Why?”
“Just trying to be sure you got on-the-spot first aid, that’s all. From what you telling me, if anything does go down, you gonna need it.”
“Mom, I probably wouldn’t know passion if it hit me in the face.”
“Humph, give the man half a chance, and you just might find out. Baby, you’d be surprised how quickly passion will surface when you’re behind closed doors with the right man.” She winked. “Ask me how I know.”
“I don’t know—”
“Well, I do! You gonna stop being scared of loving A.J. and act like you were raised by me.”
“How’s that?”
“With some sense.” Louise tilted Vic’s head back to look her square in the eyes. “Baby, A.J. loves you with all his heart.”
“I know,” Vic admitted.
Vic stood and shared a long embrace with her mother.
Louise stood back and cupped Vic’s face. “You’ve got a good man, child. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. Besides, for a man—and a single man at that—to step up and take care of som
e other man’s children the way A.J. has…baby, you can’t tell me he wouldn’t treat you right. When a man loves a woman the way A.J. loves you, it’s no different than opportunity—it comes around once in a lifetime.”
Chapter 11
“Valerie?” A.J. strolled inside her hospital room with a bright smile on his face around three in the afternoon after receiving clearance from the police officers stationed outside her door.
After Zach left his house that morning, he dressed, dropped off Taylor and Tyler at preschool, and headed over to the clinic. Once he settled in, he received a call from his sister-in-law, Caitlyn, who, without divulging Vic’s confidence, assured him that she was all right. He forced himself to be content with that, and in many ways it was enough. For the past three weeks, they’d lived together as partners and friends. No other woman had ever shattered his control the way Vic did. An intense desire, the kind he’d never felt before for any woman, had for months forced him to wait for her. Even now, he knew they were linked in a way that went far beyond love. In every sense of the word, they were soul mates.
Valerie’s face lit up. “Hey, Dr. B.”
“How’s my favorite patient?”
“Good. I talked with that police lieutenant, Zach.”
“I know,” A.J. replied, smiling as he pulled up a chair next to the bed. “But Zach also told me that you’re a little apprehensive about going into the Witness Protection Program.”
Agitated, Valerie wound the blanket tightly around her finger. “Ain’t got nobody to take care of my babies if I do.”
A.J. shook his head in rebuttal. “Yes, you do.”
Valerie’s eyes grew wide. “Who?”
“Me.”
Valerie chuckled. “Dr. B., what you know ’bout babies?”
A.J. chuckled back. “Well, I’ve been a pediatrician for ten years, so that should count for something. Plus, I have two little girls of my own.”
“You do?” Valerie asked, amazed.
A.J. nodded. He stood and pulled a recent family picture from his wallet and handed it to Valerie.
Valerie fingered the photograph. “They’re so pretty.” She looked up at A.J. “What’s their names?”
“This is Taylor,” A.J. advised, pointing to his left. Then, he moved his finger a fraction. “And that’s Tyler. I met them when they were a little over eighteen months old.”
When a Man Loves a Woman (Indigo) Page 12