by Lee Savino
I don't need Bogdan to tell me that the situation is getting out of hand. Not that it will stop him from doing so. He is waiting for me outside of the bridge, his armor a dark black that flashes with occasional streaks of red in his fury. Normally I would stand my ground against his temper, but knowing I am in the wrong has me inwardly flinching in a way I haven't done since I was a raw recruit.
That he is waiting for me—and not on the bridge—tells me all I need to know about his intentions.
Worse, I deserve the dressing down.
I still try to bypass it.
"I know," I say, growling out the words the moment I'm within earshot, letting him see my own upset at myself as my armor flashes with emotion. "It won't happen again."
Red streaks across his chest.
"It has already happened multiple times," he says, stepping in front of me to block the door. I hadn't realized he knew, and I mentally curse whoever told him. There is heat flashing in his eyes, contained rage, and the fact that he is actually controlling his temper drives home exactly how angry he is. This is no vent and steam, this is righteous, justified anger. "I know about the last time too, I saw the log. I did not say anything but now I think that was a mistake. Someone needs to hold you accountable since you are apparently no longer doing so for yourself.”
My jaw clenches in anger. Not at him, but at myself.
He faces me, fists clenched, his fury contained but palpable. “The Vgotha are taunting us, engaging in tactics we have never seen from them before and we still don’t know the reason why, and instead of focusing on them, instead of leading our people, you are distracted by that human. You say we must protect our future, but there will be no future if we are all killed in the present. How can you be our leader if you aren’t even thinking of us half the time?”
I have no answer for him.
He is right.
I have allowed myself to become distracted. I haven’t been focused on the threat the way I should be. I haven’t been thinking about the present. Not only have I failed in my duty, but I am putting us all in danger—including my Tribute. I am behaving in a manner that is not only unfit for a Commander, but for a warrior.
Bogdan holds himself stiffly, looking me directly in the eyes. “I do not want your position, High Commander. I do not.”
Don’t make me step into it.
The words hang unspoken in the air between us. I know Bogdan does not want to be High Commander. He often wants his way, he often wishes I would choose his line of thinking, but he does not want my rank. Nor do I want him to have the position. I know I am the best suited for it… at least, I was.
Before I received my Tribute.
Before I became distracted.
Before my attention was torn.
My first duty must be to my Tsenturion warriors, in the present, but my eyes have been entirely to the future as if the Vgotha threat is already eradicated. I have been indulging myself with pleasure while Bogdan and Corin and the others worry over the Vgotha’s new antics. I have forgotten what it means to be in command, what it means to be holding all of our lives in my hands.
“It will not happen again,” I say, softly. My armor shimmers to a bluish-grey, a deliberate show of contriteness for him. “You are right. I have been distracted. I will fix it. There is time for the future when the present Vgotha threat is eradicated.”
His expression lightens with relief, as does his armor. Not much, but enough to know that he at least believes my sincerity. I cannot help but feel grim as he steps aside to let me pass. I have neglected my duties too much in favor of my Tribute.
My words to Bogdan echo in my mind as I enter the bridge.
It will not happen again.
Dawn
Waking up alone in bed sucks. On the other hand, I’m just a tiny bit relieved because I’m so freaking sore all over. Thankfully, Gavrill didn’t have the belt do more than cover all my lady bits before he left me. I don’t know if I could have handled having something inside my ass right now.
I sigh, knowing that he must have had to go to his bridge shift.
As soon as I make the noise, I hear Arkdhem’s voice.
“Dawn? Are you awake?”
“Yes, hello, Arkdhem.” I try to sound more enthusiastic than I feel. I like Arkdhem, but it would be nice not to have a constant babysitter. I don’t know why I feel so irritated right now. Especially since I’d probably feel kind of lonely without him.
Apparently, my emotions are sort of out of whack.
“I will leave the room so you can dress,” he says cheerfully.
When I hear the door whoosh shut, I think about what I want to do. I don’t know when Gavrill left, but it’s unlikely he’ll be back quickly. His on-duty shifts are long, which does currently have the benefit of giving my body time to recover. I take a moment to perform a few sun salutations, concentrating on my breathing as my body flows from pose to pose. There’s a hollow in my gut, almost like the emptiness I felt when I lost my mom and grandma. I take my vinyasa, seeking the peace in fluid movements. On an alien ship a million light years away from everything I’ve known, I need the balance between my body and my breath more than ever.
By the time I’m done, the ache in my chest has shrunk to a pea-sized throb. I bow and whisper Namaste to the wall. Away from my master, the pain never truly goes away. Only sex will soothe it completely. I’d chalk it up to the Pavlov-type training, except that I felt the same hollowness on Earth.
Pulling on a deep violet dress, I decide I want to go visit with Medik and talk with him about the Tribute program. Arkdhem has no objections and after he takes me to eat, we go straight to the Med Bay. It turns out that Arkdhem also has a lot of good thoughts about the program. I definitely wouldn’t call him soft—I wouldn’t call any Tsenturion warrior anything close to that—but in a lot of ways he’s more empathetic and open than his compatriots. Definitely more so than Bogdan or Gavrill. While he’s excited about the Tributes and wants a female for himself, it’s obvious he would prefer one who wants to be here.
“Why not have them click on something that’s an actual agreement?” Arkdhem suggests, as Medik and I wrangle over the questionnaire that I think women should have to answer so that we don’t end up with anyone who has a significant other or children or other strong ties to Earth. What constitutes strong ties is somewhat up for debate, with Medik having a much looser definition than me.
I sigh. “No one’s going to take that seriously. They’ll think it’s a gimmick. We’ll get all sorts of women clicking it just to see what the link takes them to.”
“We could do both,” Arkdhem tilts his head as he looks over the screen of notes Medik has been taking. “It would narrow the pool…”
Medik gives him a stern look. “Do you want a Tribute or not? The pool can’t be too narrow.”
“I think you’ll be surprised how many swipe right,” I mutter under my breath. I’m self-aware enough to know that I would have. Although I don’t know that I would have been any happier about showing up on an actual Tsenturion ship and expected to be a warrior’s mate. But I would have clicked.
“Swipe right?” Both males are now looking at me with confusion.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Neither of them let it go that easily and I found myself explaining about how humans actually hook-up, which led to a fair amount of confusion on their part.
“I’m starting to think we’re doing Earth females a favor,” Arkdhem says, shaking his head after I finish explaining ‘ghosting.’
Despite the fact that Earth women would definitely rather choose their own mates, even if sometimes our choices are terrible, I’m having trouble coming up with a good rebuttal. Ask a woman what she wants out of a relationship, and a strong, loyal, kind male who is completely devoted to her and gives her multiple orgasms on a regular basis is going to sound pretty damn good. Granted, some of them might have issues with the collar, leash, and spankings… but maybe not.
Me
dik strokes his chin thoughtfully, his eyes focusing on me. “Do you think women will ‘swipe right?’”
I sigh. “Yes. I think there will be plenty. Even if they don’t believe that it’s real.”
My stomach gurgles and I realize I’m hungry again. I frown. How long have we been here? If I’m ready to eat again, then surely Gavrill must be off duty by now…
“Arkdhem? Is Gavrill still on the bridge?” I ask. For some reason, now that I’m thinking about my Tsenturion mate, I feel strangely bereft. I can’t quite pinpoint the emotion and I definitely don’t know why I’m feeling it, but it feels like more than the longing I’m used to experiencing when we’ve been apart for a while. That’s still there, but instead of feeling a return of it, I feel strangely empty. Like something is missing.
Both Medik and Arkdhem frown as they check the device they use as a clock—which I still haven’t figured out how to read.
“No, he should be done by now,” Arkdhem says. “Would you like to go back to your cabin?”
“Yes, please,” I say. Anxiety is rising in my chest as I wonder why Gavrill hasn’t already summoned me there.
Gavrill
Black space stretches before me, an endless road I have travelled since taking my first orders. I was so young when I joined the Tsenturion forces, pledging to serve and protect. If I had known the chance to settle into a civilian life would be wiped out in a horrible instant of Annihilation, would I have made a different choice? Would I have embraced a simple life, mated young, and produced children, and died in a flash of fire during the Great Loss?
I never would’ve known the loss of my world. I never would’ve known the empty years, protecting the Jabol race as I could not protect my own.
I never would have met Dawn. Never held her in my arms, demanded her obedience, commanded her pleasure.
I wouldn’t be wishing I was with her now.
But my duty must come first, no matter how it makes me ache inside. I have pushed down my emotions, my desires, because I need to prove that I can, even if it’s only to myself. Arkdhem has reported in to me that he has escorted my Tribute back to our cabin. I have stayed away as an exercise in self-control. It is both harder and easier than I expected.
I have neglected my duties, including spending time with my warriors, and there was much I needed to catch up on. They were happy to see me again in my free time and had many questions for me—both about the Tribute program as well as the Vgotha. Morale is not low, but there is palpable concern over the new tactics and what it might mean. Concern that I did not even know about until today, because I have been spending all my free time with my Tribute and not my warriors.
I had meant to find a balance, but now I can see I have done a poor job of it.
That helps motivate me to stay away.
My body yearns for her. My chest pangs with a painful emptiness each moment I am away from her. Yet, I know it’s necessary now, for the good of us all. Bogdan is correct. If the Vgotha kill us all because of my distraction I will have failed not only my people, but her as well.
She did not come all this way just to die at the hands of my enemies. If that is what happens, the guilt and shame will burden me into the afterlife.
Eventually I do return to the cabin—I must rest after all. Arkdhem has reported that she seems sad but has fallen asleep. I feel relieved. Surely, she must be less distracting when she is slumbering.
But when I slide into the bed beside her, pulling her against me, my body rouses with a passionate fury, as if suppressing all my emotions has allowed them to build. She comes awake with a whimper as I roll atop her, my hard cock seeking her opening, my hands already rough on her breasts.
“Gavrill—” she starts to say, and I catch her lips in a kiss, silencing her.
Our joining is hard, rough, and she is just as desperate for my touch as I am for hers. Once isn’t enough. I take her again… and again… until she is limp beneath me and my seed bulges are emptied. Curling around her, I hold her tightly as the darkness draws me down.
But when I wake, I force myself to leave immediately rather than waking her again or cuddling her close in her sleep.
I am early for my bridge shift, and Bogdan actually smiles with relief. He’s not the only one, compounding my guilt. My warriors have missed my presence and leadership.
I vow to do better by them.
Perhaps it had been a mistake to accept my Tribute so early, before the Vgotha threat is eradicated… but now that she is here, I will protect her with my last breath.
Nodding to Bogdan, I look up at the screens, seeing the new patterns of the Vgotha Raider ships as they play hide and seek with our scouts and fighters, putting Dawn from my mind.
14
Dawn
I wake up alone.
Again.
This is bullshit.
I want to feel angry, because that would be a hell of a lot better than the sad loneliness creeping through me, but somehow, I can’t muster the energy.
“Dawn?” Arkdhem is here, sitting in the darkness. My watchdog. “You are awake?”
“Yes,” I say heavily as I roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling, that I can’t actually see. I don’t know how exactly how well Tsenturions see in the dark, but I know it’s better than humans do. My inner thighs and pussy are sore from Gavrill’s visit last night, although at least the ache there is pleasant, not like the empty ache currently residing in my chest. “I am awake.”
“You are well?” he asks tentatively, obviously hearing something in my voice that worries him.
Physically? Yes. Emotionally? Not so much.
Rather than answering him, I ask my own question. “Arkdhem, is something going on that I should know about? Something that’s keeping Gavrill busy?”
I would have much preferred to ask Gavrill, last night, but he hadn’t exactly been interested in talking, just fucking me into oblivion. I feel like I had something precious almost in my grasp, only to have it snatched away.
Reaching up, I scratch at a spot on my shoulder while I wait for Arkdhem’s answer.
“The Vgotha have changed their tactics,” he says immediately. “No one knows for sure what they’re doing or why. It is worrisome.”
Immediately, I feel terrible. I hadn’t even noticed that Arkdhem was worried or anyone else. “What are they doing?”
“Toying with us,” he says grimly. “The High Commander believes they may be testing their camouflage capabilities. They do not always show up on our scanners.”
Well that is scary. No wonder Arkdhem is worried. It makes me feel a little better about Gavrill’s abandonment except… vague memories from the one time I’d been on the bridge, my very first day on board, prod at me.
“How long has this been going on?” I ask.
“Since you arrived.”
Okay, so that doesn’t explain Gavrill’s absence. Unless…
“Are they attacking now or something?”
“No,” he says, almost absent-mindedly, like he’s thinking about the Vgotha and what they’re up to. “So far there have been no casualties at all. It’s actually making us all very anxious, because we can’t understand why they aren’t engaging.”
I feel both relieved that no lives have been lost and even more forlorn, as well as a little pissed, that Gavrill’s suddenly changing how he’s treating me. Does it have anything to do with the Vgothas? Or is it something I’ve done?
Does he suddenly not respect me since we had anal sex?
Or does he think his ‘job’ in claiming me is done, so now he’s going to stop spending time with me?
The thought makes my entire body chill.
I vow to talk to him about it the next time I see him again, but he doesn’t come until after I fall asleep. Again. And again, I awaken to his hands and mouth on me, his cock thrusting inside of me. Again, he uses me until we both pass out.
Again, I wake up alone.
Staying awake the next night doesn’t help eith
er. When I angrily try to demand he speak with me, all I do is I earn myself a spanking before his cock is sliding into me again.
Even as I scream in ecstasy, I can feel my heart breaking.
Gavrill
“Commander, do you have orders?”
I stare at the swirling black matter. Vast and beautiful, and potentially deadly. Emotion bursts in me, as the sight of it seems to echo the gaping hole in my chest, and my fingers curl around the com desk. The pain I feel in my hearts has worsened every time that I tear myself away from my Tribute and focus on my duty. It is the burden I must bear. Loneliness... and something more.
“Commander?”
“Skirt the edges,” I say. “We need more information.”
Sholtorin nods, peering at the screen the same way I am, as if we might actually be able to see inside the cloud of nothingness.
“Do you think they could be hiding inside?” he asks. “Where would they have gotten the technology?”
“Stole it, probably,” Bogdan says, standing at my side. He should have taken over command already, but once the Vgotha ships disappeared right outside the mass of black matter, I hadn’t needed anyone to tell me that I needed to stay on the bridge.
We were dealing with the unknown.
“Maybe that’s what they keep testing,” Sholtorin mutters.
It is possible. If they have new, stolen technology then that could explain some of the Vgotha’s current antics. That doesn’t mean anything good for us.
“Send probes,” I order tersely. “A few from different points. Bogdan, you have the deck. Hail me if we find anything.”
Bogdan nods, already stepping into place and giving orders.
As has become my usual habit, I make rounds of the ship, speaking with my warriors and hearing their concerns and thoughts before making my way to my cabin. Tonight, I move a little faster. There is a strange feeling in my chest, brought on by seeing the black matter and the disappearance of the Vgotha ships.