by Susan Fox
Because of her headache, she decided to have an early night, too, and went through the routine of preparing for bed. After she put her hair up to keep it reasonably dry, she undressed and stepped into the large Plexiglas shower cubicle next to the Jacuzzi tub in the roomy master bath. In moments, jets of hot water pelted down on her. She stood quietly, letting the pressurized water pound the back of her neck and shoulders with the heat she hoped would ease the tension there. When at last she felt relief, she finished her shower and got out to dry off and dress.
Weary from the day, that night’s disruption and her headache, all she wanted to do was go to bed and get some sleep. She snapped off the bathroom light and stepped into the dimly lit bedroom.
Blue stood in front of the doors to the balcony that faced the rear of the house, his back to her. She read instantly the tension in his tall, strong frame. She noted he’d already removed his boots—they sat beside the padded chest at the foot of the bed. She also noticed that only one of the two balcony doors was open and that he could see her reflection in the door he’d left closed.
“Looks like I’m not the only one going to bed early.”
His low voice gave her no clue to what had gone on between him and Charles, so she told him, “I have quite a headache.”
“Did you guess I sent your uncle off without makin’ a firm deal?”
His words were quiet, but carried an edge of sarcasm she almost missed. But she heard it faintly, and something in her came to full alert.
“As I said, I wasn’t certain what you’d do. It was rude to drop by so unexpectedly. Aunt Pet was quite embarrassed.” Allison’s headache was better, which meant the aspirin was working, but the last thing she wanted was more upset.
“So now you have a headache.”
There was no mistaking the skepticism in his tone.
“I sometimes get tension headaches,” she said as she walked toward the bed and pulled down the comforter and sheet. She straightened and looked over at him. “A little aspirin and some sleep usually cures them.”
Blue turned toward her, then reached for the edge of the balcony door to close it. His gaze was sharp as he searched her face, then dropped to scan her slim form all the way to her bare feet.
“It’s a little early in the marriage to claim a headache, isn’t it? A simple no would have done the trick.”
Allison saw the grim set of his ruggedly handsome face as he started toward her. Something about the way he was looking at her sent a shiver through her middle. She sensed his anger, but there was also something dark and turbulent behind the look he was giving her.
She watched his advance, but couldn’t move. It was as if he had some strange sort of power over her. She felt threatened, she felt fear, but her legs were suddenly too leaden to move.
Her soft, “Is something wrong?” made his grim expression darken.
Blue stopped before her and lifted a hand to her cheek. His eyes were blazing down at her as if they were lasers while he brushed the knuckle of one finger down her smooth cheek, then eased it to her throat. With the tip of that finger, he drew a line down her chest to her breast, but stopped just short of the goal.
“I can’t sleep next to you one more night without having you.” The blunt words sent a spasm of feminine excitement through her.
She tried to swallow the sudden dryness in her throat. “W-we still don’t—”
“Doesn’t matter. There’s only so much you and I are ever going to know about each other, only so much we’re ever gonna feel. Right now, I want kids, and I want one by spring.”
It didn’t take a mathematician to figure out that she’d have to get pregnant almost right away. Allison shook her head. “I want children also, but not that soon. We need a year, maybe more for—”
“As I said, there’s only so much we’re ever gonna know about each other. Sex doesn’t have to mean anything profound, it just needs to be good and happen regular.”
Allison couldn’t conceal her dismay. “I can’t have sex with you, not under those circumstances.”
Blue’s hand slipped around her and pulled her against him. He bent down. She felt the harsh gust of his breath and turned her face away. His lips landed on the tender flesh of her neck. At the same time, his other arm came around her and lashed her tightly against him. There was no mistaking his arousal. Or his determination.
Allison’s hands were trapped between them, and she pushed with all her might. If anything, her efforts gained her only a fraction of an inch. Blue’s mouth became more voracious. The openmouthed kisses he pressed to her neck were interspersed with gentle bites.
She felt the anger in him recede, felt the difference in the way he held her, but she didn’t understand how she knew it, except that he’d gentled somehow. His passion, however, was overwhelming and she trembled as she felt her body begin to respond.
His passion was more a threat to her than his anger had ever been. She felt her resistance melt and had to struggle to shore up her will. She couldn’t make love—couldn’t have sex—with a man she didn’t truly know, even if he was her husband. And she couldn’t possibly love a man who’d as much as said he would never love her. She couldn’t give herself to such a man.
But suddenly she found herself on her back in the big bed, her nightgown and wrapper shoved to her waist and Blue’s big body beside her. His jean-clad leg slid over her thigh and abraded her smooth skin, effectively pinning her to the mattress.
She kept her hands braced against his chest, but he loomed over her.
Her desperate, “Please, Blue, don’t,” had no effect and she watched helplessly as he leaned down to kiss her. The last second turn of her head only delayed what he had in mind. He gently pursued her mouth until his lips covered hers in a soul-shaking kiss.
His lips opened hers and his tongue plunged deep while he slid his hand between them and untied her wrapper. He pulled the wrapper open and slid the strap of her nightgown down to pull half the bodice to her waist.
He ignored her futile attempt to cover herself, but made his kiss softer, gentler, and so persuasive that she felt herself begin to melt.
As if he knew precisely how to touch a woman in a way that ensured her compliance, he fitted his hard palm around her breast, then focused on her sensitive nipple.
Allison suddenly couldn’t fight the wild storm of sensation he provoked and felt herself tumble toward that deep dark place where reason fled and desire ruled. She knew then that her body’s violent response to him gave him complete control. Her last coherent thought—that there had to be some way to stop him, to stop herself— evaporated beneath the heat of his lips and his hands.
And slowly, Allison found herself reacting to him, responding to the aggressive seduction that made mincemeat of her reserve and her will. Her effort to push him away ended when she slid her hands up his chest to wrap around his neck. The painfully intense arousal he brought her to made her as eager to wantonly touch him as he touched her.
Somehow, piece by piece, their clothing came off. Somehow, amid all the soft sounds of rough tanned flesh on smooth white skin, and soft sighs and pounding hearts, two bodies came together. Two hearts bonded in a way neither was quite prepared for, then everything evaporated in a conflagration of need and hunger and sensation.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BLUE left his sleeping bride long before daybreak. The sweet knowledge that she really had been a virgin played on his male pride like an aphrodisiac. He remembered then what she’d said about never having met the man who’d hung the moon, and the heady, masculine thrill of seducing her began to drag on his conscience.
He’d rushed her into sex. He’d taken brutal advantage of her inexperience, and few of his intentions had been honorable. He’d truly not been able to think about lying next to her one more night without taking her, but he’d also wanted to change her mind about love. To show her that love wasn’t necessary or needed.
He hadn’t been able to tell if she’d been telling the tr
uth about not knowing her aunt and uncle were coming over. He’d thought at first that she’d invited them, but wouldn’t own up to it. Part of the reason he’d seduced her had been to create a new bond of loyalty to him, and break some of her strong family ties.
He cared for Allison, he damned sure felt tender and hungry for her, but he didn’t love her. He didn’t want to. He did, however, want her loyalty to be exclusively his.
And because he’d become a little afraid of the idea that she might someday fancy that she was in love with him, he’d figured rushing her into sex—putting their marriage on the level of sex—might be the one chance he had to spoil her notions about love.
Now that he’d taken her, he’d discovered that sex was better between a husband and wife. Sex had been intoxicating with her, but in the end, sex was all it had been. And because in his mind, sex had never meant love, it made sense to him that after last night, it wouldn’t mean love to Allison, either.
Why those thoughts caused a heaviness in his chest wasn’t something he wanted to examine too closely.
By the time Allison awoke, it was almost nine o’clock. She was aware of the emptiness beside her before she was fully awake. The depth of the sweet, tender feelings she had now for Blue were astonishing. She’d never felt so exposed, so close, to anyone in her life as she’d felt to Blue last night. She’d never imagined passion could be as sharp, as fiercely gentle as it had been. She’d never guessed her body could feel what Blue had made her feel.
But as she lay there thinking, awash in the memory of his kisses and the feel of his hard, strong body and the way they’d made love, she began to regret that it had happened so soon.
Now she remembered that there had been no tender words between them, no whispers of love, no declarations. She understood then what place she would truly occupy in her husband’s life.
The six-year-old black quarter horse mare was magnificent. Expertly trained as a cutting horse, the mare had competed in enough cutting horse competitions to show promise of being a champion. The purchase of the mare had seriously dented Allison’s trust fund.
And though the mare was beautiful and a true credit to her breed, the extravagant gesture she represented now made Allison cringe.
But she had no wish for her loveless marriage to Blue to stay that way. And she had no wish for divorce.
While she watched the groom walk the ebony mare around to exercise her after the long hours in the horse trailer, she realized she was probably guilty of trying to buy Blue’s affection.
Because Blue was a horseman and a working rancher, she’d thought a good cutting horse would be the most appreciated and unique gift she could give him. And because he was now a very wealthy man, she couldn’t quite picture herself giving him something small that he could easily buy for himself on his next trip to Dallas.
She was preoccupied with his reaction to her gift the night before. She had no idea what had become of it, and she was afraid to ask. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than for Blue to react the same way to the mare.
Tortured by regret and dread, she reluctantly followed the groom as he led the beautiful black mare down the long lane to the stables.
Blue was hot, bathed in sweat and grit, and hungry. The bull they’d brought in that morning had a wire cut that had torn open his chest and shoulder. It had taken Blue and three others to maneuver the pain-crazed animal into the custom-made squeeze chute the vet had trucked out to the ranch. The doc had sedated the huge animal, and as the bull had started to succumb to the anesthetic, the small engine and pulley system on the special chute had laid the bull over on his side.
After examining and irrigating the wounds, the vet had sewn the bull up rapidly, administered a large syringe of antibiotic and gave instructions for the animal’s recovery from the anesthetic and for his care the next several days.
After the vet had left on another call and they’d got the woozy bull on his feet, Blue caught sight of Allison walking toward him down the dirt alley that bisected the network of corrals.
Dressed in a white sleeveless blouse, designer jeans and Western boots that still carried the shine of new, her light hair fell to her shoulders as perfectly as if she’d just brushed it.
The sight of her delicate, blond beauty, against a backdrop of raw wood plank rails, dusty confined cattle and the assortment of ranch buildings, was arresting. Her utter femininity stirred everything masculine in him and his mouth went dry. And when she got close enough, he could tell the flush on her cheeks had nothing to do with the effects of the sun.
The shy look in her eyes, even though she made herself meet his gaze, sent a sting of guilt through him. He stepped away from the fence, mumbled a gruff, “I’ll check with you later, Jim,” then walked to meet her.
Once they were almost at arm’s length from each other, they stopped. Allison broke eye contact and glanced past him to the bull, who stood weakly in the upright squeeze chute.
“You have an injured animal. Am I interrupting?”
That soft voice moved along something in his chest and sent a thrill straight through him.
“All done. But you ought not be out in the noon sun with no hat and bare arms.”
Allison glanced from the bull to Blue’s face, touched by his concern. It gave her a glimmer of hope. “I wasn’t planning to be out long this time, though I would like to see everything. I don’t know a lot about ranching or how things get done here, but I’d like to learn.” She offered a pleasant smile. It had occurred to her that Blue might not want her to have any contact with the actual operation of his ranch. He might have definite ideas about what he considered her place and his.
“Didn’t know you were interested.” He glanced away briefly, then back to her. “If you are, you’ll have to wear something on your arms and dig up a hat.”
Encouraged that he was responding positively—and protectively—to her interest in the ranch, she felt a bit more at ease about giving him the mare.
But nervousness made her forget her planned speech to lead up to giving him her gift, and she got out a slightly rushed, “I bought you a wedding present a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to wait until we were home before I gave it to you, but it’s arrived and I’d like to give it to you now.”
Blue’s expression closed and seemed to harden. Allison’s heart fell but she tried not to show it. “I know you weren’t too impressed by my gift at supper last night, but I’m h-hoping this is one you’ll like.” The small stutter made her catch her breath in mortification, and she found herself scrambling to save face.
Her forced smile trembled tellingly. “If you don’t like it, I’m not certain what to do, unless the previous owner would consider taking her back.”
Allison remained silent, but his blue gaze veered from hers. Allison felt sick. She’d obviously made a huge mistake. Blue’s ungraciousness on the subject of gifts seemed out of character, but it hurt terribly.
“You were also very unhappy with my gift last night,” she said quietly. “You seem angry that I’m giving you another one.” His harsh gaze swung back to her and she paused to take a steadying breath. “But if you can’t accept my gifts, I can’t keep the ones you bought me in Dallas, not the clothes or the car.”
With that, she turned and walked with stiff dignity to the stable, then up the lane to the house.
Blue didn’t come to the house for lunch, though it was clear that Edward had expected him. When he brought Allison’s lunch into the dining room for her, he wordlessly whisked away Blue’s place setting when he went out.
Later, Allison went upstairs to make some phone calls from the master bedroom, but she glanced frequently out the balcony doors, hoping for any sign of Blue.
Much of the activity at the barns and corrals was obscured by the buildings themselves, but even when she caught a glimpse of someone, it wasn’t Blue. No black mare was ever led out of the stable, and the pretty animal hadn’t been let out into a corral.
The calls Allison made w
ere to the handful of charities she worked with. Vacation Bible School would be starting at her church on Monday morning, so she called the program coordinator to confirm her plans to teach the prekindergarten class. They discussed Allison’s ideas to match her lesson plans with this year’s theme, Show Jesus to the World.
She eventually went into one of the spare bedrooms where Edward had installed a telephone and stored her charity things, and got out the huge box she’d packed her Bible School materials in. Determined to distract herself, she laid everything out on the large bed in that room, then reviewed it all and made additional notes. She got out her scissors and the knee-high stack of magazines beside the desk, which she’d selected particularly for their picture assortments, and began to leaf through their pages. She planned to use the pictures to illustrate several examples of how the children could “Show Jesus to the World” by their good deeds and good attitudes.
As the day wore on, Allison’s spirits sagged low. Eventually she finished Bible School preparations and packed everything into the box the way she wanted and set the box near the door along with a second stack of magazines she’d previewed for appropriateness for her preschoolers to cut things out of.
By the time she went in for supper, Blue still hadn’t returned. This time, her place was the only one set at the table. When she asked Edward about it, he reported that Blue was on the range somewhere and might not be back to the house until very late.
After picking at her supper, Allison went for a walk and ended up at the stable. The black mare was munching grain in her stall and welcomed Allison with a nicker as she stopped at the stall door. The big horse put her black head over the stall door for a pat. Allison stroked the mare’s long nose, complimented her on her very white and distinctive lightning bolt blaze, then bid the mare a soft good-night and eventually wandered back to the house.
It was late when Blue went up to the bedroom for a shower. He didn’t turn on a light when he stepped into the room, and he closed the hall door quietly before he carried his boots across the carpet to the bathroom.