It was a weird reputation he had, but if he broke the mold now, people would notice.
Everyone in the bunker worked frantically throughout the day and into the evening. There would be more days like this one to follow. People were on edge. Frustrated. Scared even. From every angle, it appeared to Zeke they had been compromised.
When Zeke could no longer see straight, he stood, stretched his arms in every direction, and glanced around, looking for Michelle. She wasn’t in the lab.
She’d been in and out all day. They hadn’t spoken much, which was understandable since the last thing he’d told her was that he wasn’t ready for people to know about them.
He still wasn’t. It felt too weird. Awkward. He didn’t have enough experience with women and didn’t trust himself not to screw things up. He didn’t have the foggiest notion how to behave around a woman he liked who liked him back, let alone one he was going to see every day at work.
Zeke busied himself shutting down his computer and shuffling papers around on his desk, waiting for Michelle, hoping to speak to her. But she didn’t return, and it was late. She’d probably eaten dinner at her desk. Hell, she’d probably been exhausted and gone to bed.
Carrying the unfamiliar sensation of regret, he headed to his own suite, showered, and dropped into bed. It wasn’t how he’d pictured the evening ending, but it was probably for the best. After all, he couldn’t very well corner her several times a day and kiss her like a starving man when he didn’t know where he wanted to take things next.
Surprisingly, he fell asleep quickly without tossing around all night, worrying about where his improbable relationship with Michelle was headed next.
Two days went by before Michelle found herself alone with Zeke again. She’d been busy. Everyone had. She might have also avoided him a few times to keep her head clear and to keep from outing herself in front of the whole bunker. She noticed him constantly. Every time she entered a room, she would see him first as if he were taller or glowed brighter or something ridiculous like that.
At the same time, she forced herself to glance away when he turned her direction. He didn’t approach her, nor did he scowl at her like he used to. The few times she’d glimpsed his expression, she’d found his brow furrowed.
She knew she was probably confusing him. Sending him mixed signals. But she couldn’t help it. His last words to her in Ryan’s office the other day kept ringing in her head. He’d wanted to keep them a secret. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
On the one hand, she agreed. It would be so much easier if no one knew they’d crossed a line and kissed. On the other hand, it stung a bit. He’d seemed so into her the other night. Granted, she’d nearly forced him to kiss her, right? Maybe he’d had second thoughts.
That didn’t make sense either since he’d been the one to draw her into his arms in Ryan’s office and initiate their second round of kissing.
She was overanalyzing and dragging her feet. She needed to stop hiding and confront him. See if the sparks were still there. Though she already knew the answer to that. The sparks were ever-present even in a crowded room with a dozen other coworkers. It was a wonder no one else experienced the zing of anticipation she felt at all times.
When the day finally wound down enough for her to feel like she could separate from her work for an entire evening, she shoved from her desk and went in search of him. She vowed she would either find him in the cafeteria or find the courage to knock on his door.
As she stepped from the lab, she ran right into him. In fact, she had to plant her hands on his chest to steady herself. “Hey,” she said, feeling like a teenager.
“Hey, yourself. I was looking for you.”
“You were?” She stood taller, biting her lower lip. That was promising.
He nodded. “Yes. I was hoping we could spend the evening together. I know we’ve both been crazy busy for a few days, but things are coming back together in the lab. You think you could take a few hours to relax?”
She smiled, flattening her palms on his chest and smoothing them over his firm pecs before she yanked them away and glanced around. Fondling him in the hallway was not conducive to keeping their strange relationship a secret.
He returned her smile, however, and reached to set a hand on her shoulder. “Your fancy beige suite or mine?”
“Mine.” She was shaking like a teenage girl as she turned around and led him to her rooms. She was a grown woman. He was a grown man. It was absurd for her to feel so nervous around him.
After they reached her suite and shut the door, she started to cross the room, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her backward. He leaned casually against the door, cupped her face, and gently kissed her.
She sighed deeply as he released her lips and settled his forehead against hers. “Can I get you a drink?” she whispered.
“Water would be great. It always seems like I don’t stop to hydrate enough during the day.” He slid his hands down her arms and then released her.
She was both calmer and more confused as she walked away from him. At least he’d broken the ice. But what did it mean?
When she returned, she handed him a bottle of water, kicked off her shoes, and settled into the corner of the couch with her legs tucked under her. She tugged the rubber band out of her hair and ran her fingers through the strands, untangling it.
Zeke sat next to her, turning his body to face her and setting his elbow on the back of the couch. His gaze was on her hair as she played with it. “I do love the color,” he stated as he reached for a strand and held it.
“Thank you. Apparently Kate was a hairdresser in high school.”
He didn’t comment, but his gaze slid to her face. “I missed you.”
“I was right here.” She smiled. Her chest fluttered at his admission.
“Not close enough, though.”
“Well, you said you didn’t want people to know about us,” she pointed out.
“I did. It just feels messy. I don’t mean for us to remain a secret forever, but maybe for a while?”
“Seems reasonable. We aren’t really an us exactly, so there’s no sense spreading around unnecessary gossip prematurely.”
“Exactly.”
God, he seemed almost relieved. Were they on the same page? She wasn’t sure. “So, what are we doing exactly?” she asked, hearing the hesitation in her voice. She stared at his mouth. They hadn’t said much, but she really wanted him to kiss her again. That might clear things up. At the very least, it would take her mind off the rest of her pitiful life. In fact, she wasn’t opposed to sleeping with him.
He was attractive and kind of funny when he opened up. He had a brilliant mind. His work ethic was out of this world. Plus, he could kiss, and he lit a fire in her every time he did so. Would it hurt anything if they had sex? Even if their relationship never fully took off, who cared? They could enjoy each other’s company for a while.
This was uncharted territory. She’d never in her life considered sleeping with a man for no reason other than sexual gratification. But it suddenly seemed like a fantastic idea.
His gaze alone was hot and penetrating.
Finally, he answered her question. “We’re two people who have switched from arguing all the time to not speaking to each other at all, as if that would somehow keep anyone from realizing we’re attracted to each other and we’d rather be somewhere else…alone together.” He smiled.
She liked it when he smiled. It was much better than his frown. “That sounds right. Do you think we’re fooling anyone? People are probably wondering why we stopped clawing at each other.” She grinned.
He shook his head. “We aren’t fooling Ryan. He confronted me.”
“Of course he did.” She wasn’t surprised. That also meant other people had noticed their odd behavior.
“Let them think whatever they want. We can play it cool in the lab while we figure ourselves out, and wait until we’re alone to explore it further.”
Sh
e swallowed. “We’re alone now.”
He slowly smiled broader. “Indeed.” And then he closed the distance and claimed her lips again, his hand sliding into her hair.
She loved the feel of his lips on hers. Gentle. Soft. Caring. She didn’t remember ever experiencing a kiss like his before. The guys she’d been with had been sloppy and really not interested in kissing so much as getting naked and finishing the deed.
Michelle leaned into him, setting her hand on his chest as she tipped her head to one side and licked the seam of his lips.
He opened his mouth and met her tongue with his own, the grip he had on the back of her head tightening.
As they continued to kiss, the longest lip lock of her life, the rest of her body responded. She wanted more. Crazy. Until the other night, she’d never been in a position where she craved more.
They made out like teenagers for long minutes, Zeke sliding closer until their chests met. He still held the back of her neck, but his other hand was at her waist. Finally, he broke free, still nibbling a path of smaller kisses across her cheek toward her ear. He whispered, “I should go.”
She stiffened. “Why?” What was up with him wanting to leave again like he had the other night?
“Because if I don’t, I won’t want to stop soon,” he murmured into her ear, making her shudder.
She set her hand on his when it slid to her shoulder. “Who said you needed to stop?” She was so bold with him, but dammit, he seemed to need the encouragement. Again.
“My conscience. The part of me that insists I should spend far more time with a woman than I’ve spent with you before stripping her clothes off.”
She leaned back and met his gaze. “We’ve spent a lot of time together,” she argued.
That slow smile returned. “You make it very difficult to say no.”
“I’m not asking you to say no.”
“I’m still not going to have sex with you tonight. We’ve only spent a few minutes alone. And most of that time we’ve done nothing but kiss.”
“That’s not true. Last time we argued first.”
He chuckled. “Maybe we should try having a few normal conversations without arguing before I get you naked.”
Emboldened, she grasped at one more straw. “If you leave, I’m still going to have sex tonight,” she taunted.
His eyes widened and then narrowed suspiciously.
“I’d rather have sex with you,” she continued, “but I’m not opposed to using a vibrator to get off. There’s no way in hell I’m going to bed like this. I’ve never been so aroused in my life.”
That slow smile graced her yet again. Damn him. He’d gone from nervous to cocky and confident far too quickly. “You’re good for my bruised ego.”
“You think I’m kidding?”
He moaned, leaning closer. “No. And now I’m going to toss around all night, picturing you with that damn vibrator.”
“It could be you instead. Your choice.” Who the hell was this woman occupying her body tonight?
He kissed her again briefly. “You’ve tempted me enough. I would never forgive myself if I rushed you into the bedroom. I’d rather give this weird one-eighty of ours some time. I want you to be sure. I want to be sure I can give you what you need. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the possibility of us. And, we work together. I know it’s old fashioned, but even kissing you goes against every moral bone in my body. We both need to take a step back and breathe.”
Damn, he was unflappable.
She gave him a sultry fake pout, though she still had no idea what woman had possessed her body and taken over her every movement and thought until she didn’t recognize herself.
After one last kiss to her forehead, Zeke released her and stood.
She wouldn’t chase him. He was right. They needed to back up a few paces and regroup. She didn’t like it. It wouldn’t have been her first choice. But he was right. He was also a stronger person than her. Besides, if he had doubts, jumping into bed with him would be a horrible idea. She wanted him to have confidence in himself and the possibility of them before they took that next step.
When he reached the door and grasped the handle, he turned around. “What color is it?”
“What color is what?”
“Your vibrator. I want to picture it fully while I stroke myself.”
She gave him a slow smile. “I haven’t decided on the pink one or the purple one yet. I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
Yep. He groaned loudly as he turned around and left her suite.
For a long time, she stared at the door, half of her thinking she’d imagined the entire last hour. She glanced around to see if there was any evidence that would prove he had been there at all. Nothing.
Nothing except the pounding of her heart, the stiffness of her nipples, and the wetness in her panties. He’d definitely been there. And he’d taken a piece of her with him when he left.
Now she just had to pray he didn’t trample on that piece and leave her sorry they’d had this experience at all.
Finally, she found the muscle memory to head for her bedroom. She stripped out of scrubs, and then she dropped her bra and panties on the floor.
She wasn’t the sort of person who’d ever slept in the nude, but she craved the feel of the sheets against her skin. Her hands were shaking as she retrieved her favorite pink vibrator from the nightstand and climbed onto the bed. Legs shaking and spread wide, she turned the vibrator onto the lowest setting and touched it to her clit.
Her moan was loud at the intensity of the contact. She let her head roll back and her eyes slide closed. Picturing Zeke’s mouth nibbling around her ear, she held the vibrator against her clit. It took about fifteen seconds for her to come, and she came harder than she’d ever orgasmed before.
She barely managed to turn off the dial on the vibrator before she fell asleep, exhausted, sated, happy.
Naked.
Zeke stood under the spray of his shower, hands planted on the tile wall, forehead also leaning against the wall, eyes closed, heart pounding, dick hard. He took deep breaths that did nothing to control his erection.
Michelle’s words rang in his ears. If you leave, I’m still going to have sex tonight…
For a split second, she’d startled him, and then he’d realized there was no way she’d meant that the way it came out.
I’m not opposed to using a vibrator to get off…
There’s no way in hell I’m going to bed like this…
I’ve never been so aroused in my life…
Jesus. How he’d managed to walk out of her suite was a miracle. How he’d managed to walk at all was a miracle.
I haven’t decided on the pink one or the purple one yet…
He shuddered as he slid his hand down the wall and grasped his erection. Visions of her masturbating filled his mind. Her eyes were closed. Her mouth hanging open. Her legs were spread wide.
Oh God… His knees nearly buckled as he stroked himself harder. Faster. This wasn’t going to take long.
And then he pictured her fingers wrapped around a slender pink vibrator, the buzzing of it clear in his mind. She dug her heels into the mattress and lifted her hips off the bed. Would she cry out when she came?
Zeke had never been graced with any greater fantasy than the one Michelle had planted in his mind. Half of him wished he hadn’t been the sort of man who was strong enough to leave her. He could be in her bed right now, his dick inside her instead of her damn vibrator.
Was he an idiot?
He gritted his teeth as he visualized Michelle’s body shuddering as she peaked, a soft moan escaping her lips. He tipped over the edge with his imaginary woman, his come shooting against the shower wall, long drawn-out pulses that had amassed from days of frustration.
Or perhaps years. Years spent alone with nothing but his hand because he didn’t have the balls to even glance at another woman.
Coward.
He’d feared rejection. He’d feared havi
ng his heart trampled on again. He hadn’t trusted his instincts when it came to women because his intuition had failed him so miserably the first time.
Michelle was not Meredith. She didn’t have any of the same greedy, selfish qualities. She had never been fake with him. She was pure and real and sweet and kind and full of life.
He needed to man up soon and take a chance on life.
Soon.
Chapter 8
One week later…
* * *
Temple popped her head into the lab. “Zeke, can I speak to you in my office?”
He flinched, glancing around. His first thought was that she somehow knew he’d had unprofessional contact with Michelle and wanted to squash it. A heartbeat later, he shook the idea from his mind. He couldn’t imagine Temple commenting on any relationship between two coworkers. She hadn’t minded about Tushar and Trish, and she obviously wasn’t concerned with Ryan and Emily.
Besides, even though he and Michelle had spent another evening together in her room two nights ago, rounding second base like two teenagers at a drive-in movie, he still hadn’t sealed the deal. It was getting increasingly harder to deny her, though. She was persistent.
“Sure.” He stood, reaching for his mouse to save his work and then following her from the room. As soon as he shut her office door behind him, he spoke. “Is something wrong?”
She pointed at the chair opposite her desk and sighed as she sat. “Yes. I hate to burden you with this, but you have a little problem.”
He eased onto the chair, wondering if it might have been better to remain standing. “I have a problem?” He had about ten of them. Which one was she referring to?
“Yeah. I just spoke to your parents.”
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