by Sharon Shinn
I would have to start locking my satchel away when I was gone from the room, which was a bother. But I was a responsible woman, and I could not allow such thefts to continue.
It was only later, as I was lying in bed attempting to fall asleep, that I remembered the scene I had witnessed earlier in the courtyard. Daria gazing soulfully at Roderick; Daria passing Roderick a thin packet of—something. I had assumed it was a folded note, but it could as easily have been an envelope of dried herbs. I could not imagine what she might have told him to convince him to sprinkle the mixture in his food—but then, I had never attempted to come up with creative lies in order to dose the object of my affection. She was a resourceful girl; no doubt she had sounded very plausible.
I considered confronting her, if not that very night, the next day; I considered telling Elisandra. But I had no proof. So many people had access to my room. So many people had reasons to dabble in witchcraft. So many of them thought those reasons were good.
I turned on my side and willed myself to dissipate my anger, to relax and fall asleep. But I was still awake an hour later when I heard the echoes of Elisandra’s voice answering her mother as they came down the hall. It was a long time before I was able to sleep that night; and even longer before I was able to release my anger.
11
And then the summer was over and it was time for me to return to my grandmother’s.
Elisandra, as usual, loaded me down with gifts she had hoarded all during the summer—books and gloves and lace shawls and earrings. Angela actually cried and promised to write me weekly while I was gone. During my last formal dinner at the castle, Matthew offered me a farewell toast (“to our dear lady Coriel, friend in water, friend in wine”). I was embarrassed beyond measure and could scarcely choke back my tears. Bryan, of course, refused the drink of water, but gazed directly at me as he downed his entire glass of wine. Kent came up to me afterward, straight into the crowd of well-wishers who had gathered to say goodbye, and took my hand in a strong grip.
“We’ll all miss you, Corie,” he said, not releasing me. “The winter will seem even longer because you’re not here to brighten the days.”
I laughed self-consciously, and the women standing nearby cooed. “It will be spring again soon enough,” I said.
“When do you leave, Corie?” someone in the circle asked.
I answered awkwardly over my shoulder, for Kent still had hold of my hand. “Very early. Otherwise we’ll be four days on the road to Southey. If we travel early and long, we’ll make it in three.”
“My father has arranged for an escort of guards,” Kent said.
I nodded at him soberly. Normally, of course, Jaxon would have come to the castle to take me home, but he and Matthew still had not repaired their breach. “I’ve taken my luggage down to the stables. I’m ready to leave in the morning.”
“We’ll miss you,” Kent said again. Then he surprised me (and everyone still watching) by bending over and kissing my hand. His lips against my skin felt serious, but when he straightened, he was laughing. “Just so you don’t forget,” he said, “what it is to flirt with a lord.”
From this scene I escaped as soon as possible. I spent the rest of the evening in Elisandra’s room, talking over insignificant, silly things, watching Daria move around the room and neaten everything with small, possessive touches. I wished I could find it in me to really hate her or to give in and like her. She was too much like Milette—she had something I could not have, and so I resented her—but I realized the fault was mine and not hers.
I sighed, and finally pushed myself to my feet. “Don’t get up in the morning,” I said into Elisandra’s ear as I hugged her goodbye. “Sleep away my leavetaking.”
“You’ll be sad if I’m not there to wave goodbye,” she said.
“I’ll be sad anyway.”
“And I am already,” she said.
I SLEPT POORLY, rose early, threw a last few items into a small bag, and crept down the empty hallway. There was no noise from Elisandra’s room, so I hoped she still lay sleeping in her bed. The more levels I descended in the castle, the more activity I encountered, and at the ground level, all sorts of people were already bustling about. I ate a quick breakfast in the small dining room, where I said farewells again to Angela’s parents and Doreen. Then I made my way out the grand hallway and down the front steps. There was a contingent of four guards awaiting me and a small carriage drawn up to convey me. I hurried forward so as to keep my escorts waiting no longer.
I had only taken a few running steps when I heard my name called from some distance away. “Corie! Corie!” I swung around to see Elisandra and Daria hanging out the window of Elisandra’s room, waving madly. Elisandra was blowing kisses. Her unbound hair streamed out the window like a banner; she looked as if she had just that minute tumbled out of bed. I laughed and waved and sent back airborne kisses of my own.
Then I scurried on up to the coach and threw my bag and satchel inside.
“You have everything you need?” asked a voice behind me. I turned in surprise and delight.
“Roderick! Are you in my escort detail?”
He gave me a slight smile and nodded. “Not a duty I requested, let me say to your face, but Lord Matthew said you were precious cargo and needed to be guarded closely. So, Kritlin gave me the assignment.”
He helped me into the carriage and instantly released my hand. “But this is wonderful!” I exclaimed. “Now you can meet Milette!”
He laughed and shut the door with emphatic force. “I look forward to it.”
I leaned out the window, to see Elisandra and Daria still watching from above. “Goodbye!” I called, waving even more wildly. “Write me!”
Roderick turned to see whom I was addressing, then raised his hand to offer a quick salute, fist to forehead. Elisandra and Daria both waved back, as if they could distinguish from this distance just which guardsman was assisting me. Or perhaps they could. Perhaps Daria had known all along who would be riding with me to my grandmother’s village, and that’s why she had come to the window at all.
Not that it mattered to me.
Within minutes, we were under way. The carriage was small but well-sprung, and I thought I might like this mode of travel. With Jaxon, I usually had no choice but to ride, which I enjoyed for the first few hours of the day. It did grow tiresome after a while. But in my carriage I could read, daydream, or sleep; and I proceeded to pass the first few hours in the last pursuit.
WE MADE GOOD time on that trip and I, true to form, made friends with all the members of my escort. We had two extra horses in our train, and I elected to ride for part of every day. Roderick was by no means inclined to monopolize my attention, so I had a chance to get to know the other three who had drawn this duty. One of them, young and lively, reminded me of Shorro; the other two were quieter but kind. I liked them all.
My most interesting conversation came late the afternoon of the second day, when Roderick brought his horse up alongside mine. We talked idly of our inn the night before and our probable accommodations this evening. Then I asked where he would go once he had left me at my grandmother’s.
“Back to the castle, of course,” he said, looking surprised. “Where else?”
“You’re not far from Veledore,” I pointed out. “I thought you might want to take a quick detour home.”
“I thought of that,” he admitted. “But it’s almost harvest time, and the fields will be rich with grain, and there will be cider festivals every night—”
“That sounds delightful!” I exclaimed. “Go!”
He gave me a quick sideways glance. “So wonderful,” he said, “that I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to make myself return to Auburn.”
I considered that a moment in silence. “Are you thinking about leaving the guardsmen?” I asked.
“I think about it,” he said. “My father has said bluntly he would be glad to see me home. So many of the things I wanted to escape from I find are the ver
y things I miss.”
“But you said—What about that girl? The one who keeps you at the castle?”
“I never said there was a girl.”
“Well, that’s what you meant, no matter what you said,” I replied impatiently. “What about her? I thought she was the reason you were staying.”
He was quiet a moment. “An ill reason to run my life,” he said lightly at last. “There’s no hope there.”
I found my heart suddenly scrambling to get outside my ribs. “Then—this might be the last time I see you? You might not be there next summer when I return?”
He gave me that sideways glance again, complete with a small grin. “Oh, next summer. I’ll wait that long. To see the prince married, after all—that’s something to witness, no matter how a man feels about the prince.”
I digested that. “You’re not fond of Bryan,” I said.
“That would be the mild way to put it.”
“And that would be the real reason you would return to your father’s home.”
He nodded. “If you take a man’s dollar, you ought to respect the man. If you don’t, you shouldn’t scorn him behind his back. It’s getting harder for me to behave as I ought. So, it’s time for me to leave.”
“What has he done,” I asked, “to make you hate him?” I could think of a dozen reasons myself, but how many of those did Roderick know?
“He’s a weak man, and a cruel one,” Roderick said without hesitation. “He’ll wound an animal on a hunt, then make no effort to find it to end its suffering. And he cannot be reasoned with. And he’s stupid.”
I opened my eyes wide, because this was a strong speech coming from someone whose station was so far below the prince’s. “I hope this is not how you’ve been talking in the barracks.”
He laughed softly. “No. I’ve never said it to anyone before. I could lose my head, not just my career. But you’re safe enough. You don’t like him, either.”
“I used to,” I said slowly. “Until this summer.”
“Why did it take you so long?”
“Because he’s so beautiful, I guess. So alive. Because I got in the habit of adoring him. But everyone seems to be falling out of that habit these days. Kent has said things—” I stopped and shrugged.
“What has Kent said?”
“I don’t think Bryan is popular with the viceroys,” I said somewhat lamely.
Roderick nodded. “Even less than you realize. During that summer festival, all the viceroys brought their own guards in train. Men talk when they’re playing dice at night, and they talk in their masters’ words. Not one of them spoke highly of the prince.”
“Then—” I started, but could not imagine what question to ask next.
Roderick glanced down at me and seemed to suffer a change of mood. “Ah, don’t worry over it,” he said lightly. “All that will change when your sister becomes his bride. She’s a well-liked girl with considerable charm. The lords think she’ll keep him in hand.”
“If she marries him,” I said, my voice very low.
“They’ll marry. They’re too far down that road to turn back. They’ll marry, I’ll stay to see, and then—then perhaps back to the farm for me. Who knows what the next year or two will bring?”
Even less happiness than I thought, I said to myself, but did not speak the words aloud. The future looked drearier every time I looked into it.
THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON, just before sunset, we arrived at my grandmother’s cottage. Naturally the first person I had to see was Milette, out front tending the garden. She stopped her work and stared at us as the cavalcade pulled up. I supposed she had never seen a sight quite so fine as a royal equipage guarded by four liveried men. I was pleased to note that she was wearing her very oldest gown, had dirt on her face, and her hair was tied back in the most unbecoming fashion imaginable.
“Once again, back with my best friend,” I murmured to Roderick as he lifted me down from the coach. He laughed and set me on my feet.
Milette seemed quite unself-conscious as she hurried forward to greet me. “Corie! I didn’t realize you were coming back so soon! I thought you wouldn’t be here for another month at least.”
I was instantly annoyed. “No, here I am—summer’s end—the time I always return home. I wrote grandmother to expect me.”
“I guess she forgot to mention it.”
I looked expressively at Roderick, whose face was completely wooden. “Where would you like me to carry your luggage, my lady?” he asked in the most formal, respectful tones I had ever heard from him. For a moment I was astonished; then I realized he was doing his best to impress Milette on my behalf, and I was grateful.
“My room is inside. Let me show you.”
I led him through the small, untidy house. Milette followed us, talking while Roderick settled my trunk in the room. “Your grandmother’s in the village for the evening. That Clancy girl is having her baby tonight, or maybe tomorrow. I didn’t make enough dinner for two.”
“Then I’ll have to feed myself,” I said pleasantly. “Excuse me, Milette, I just want to check the carriage one more time and make sure I didn’t leave anything behind.”
She trailed behind us back outside, too, though I had hoped for a private goodbye to my friend. “And your room hasn’t been cleaned for ages. I just know it’s full of dust.”
This time I did not bother to reply. Ducking my head inside the coach, I took one quick look around. “No, I’ve got it all,” I said. I took a regal stance before Roderick and gave him a queenly nod. “Thank you for your escort. I’ll tell Lord Matthew I was pleased with your services.”
Not betraying the smallest ounce of amusement, he put his fist to his forehead and bowed so low his hair brushed the dirt. “It was an honor,” he said. “My lady.”
He swung back into the saddle, saluted me again, and gave the order to ride out. Though I wanted to watch him till he disappeared, I forced myself to turn back to Milette. Who was staring.
“He sure treated you like a grand lady,” she said. I thought I detected a trace of envy in her voice.
“It means nothing,” I said airily. “That’s how all the servants address nobility at the castle.”
“But you’re not—” she said, and then abruptly shut her mouth.
“I’m not going to waste any more time talking in the road,” I said, heading for the door. “I’m hungry. I’m going to make myself something to eat.”
THE NEXT FEW weeks were fairly miserable, as I tried to resume the rhythms of village life and figure out exactly how far Milette had outdistanced me in our studies. I think both she and my grandmother were surprised at how determined I was to make up for lost time, for I stayed up late many nights, reading through the crumbling texts and stirring up concoctions over the small fire in my room. Only I knew why I was so doggedly intent upon learning everything I needed to know to become a wise woman and a healer; I had no intention of becoming a prize for the furtherance of the regent’s goals.
Still, I missed my sister and my friends, and Milette’s constant self-satisfied presence did not contribute to my contentment here in what I considered my real home. My grandmother seemed happy enough to have me back—as happy as she ever was—and I certainly did not feel unwelcome. But my place seemed less certain than ever. I was beginning to think I did not belong anywhere.
As summer reddened into autumn, everyone in that cottage grew more accustomed to my presence and life became more pleasurable again. I joined my grandmother and Milette at the harvest festival held every fall in the village, and we had a wonderful time. There were costumes, contests, concerts, dances, hay rides, prayer breakfasts, moonlight feasts—an ongoing cornucopia of events.
Several of the young men I only vaguely recalled as farmer’s sons showed up at these gatherings dressed in their finest lawn shirts and leather breeches, looking freshly washed, clean shaven and handsomer than I remembered. I wore my red silk dress to one of the starlit dances and made, if I may say so,
a very definite impression. It heartened me greatly to know that I did not require the whispered promise of a royal dowry to be the reigning belle of an impromptu ball.
Milette had her own circle of admirers at this event and—though I did not begrudge her a single one of them—I had to wonder if she had not resorted to magic to enhance her charms just a trifle. For she was by no means an extraordinary girl, just moderately attractive and not exceptionally bright. Then again, neither were her swains.
Then again, neither were mine, but they were puppy-dog friendly and boyishly happy, and I did not have to wonder if every word they uttered masked a torturous thought. I relaxed into their banter as I relaxed into their embraces when we undertook the energetic country dances, and I enjoyed myself more than I ever had at Castle Auburn.
I could live here the rest of my life. Here, or somewhere very like it. I would not let myself be coerced into accepting any groom of Lord Matthew’s choosing.
ELISANDRA WROTE FAITHFULLY to tell me of events transpiring at court. Dirkson and Megan were at the castle for a visit, but it was Kent whom Megan seemed interested in this time. Hennessey of Mellidon came to Auburn for a week, and asked after me more than once. Bryan spent a month in Faelyn and came back looking thin and wicked.
I think from having sampled too many of the pleasures of Faelyn Market, which he does not get much opportunity to indulge in under Matthew’s watchful eye, Elisandra wrote in her perfectly even hand. Kent’s comment was that the next time Bryan went traveling, he should go along as escort, and Matthew seems agreeable to that. Although he plans to travel to Ouvrelet House for the winter holidays, and there seems to be no reason to guard him there, so Kent is coming with me instead.